Find Me in the Rain: Hockey Romance (Nighthawks Book 1)

“Name, please.” The maître d’ glances up to us and then back down to his list.

“Kostelecky. I called earlier today.” His voice surprises me. It’s assertive and full, not like the laughing tone he just used in the limo.

His eyes shoot up, widening. Stumbling over his words, he responds, “Oh, yes, sir. Of course. Right this way.”

Alec slides his hand into mine and follows behind the man, giving me a mischievous smile. I squint my eyes at him, wondering what he’s up to.

But more than anything, I’m taken aback at how the maître d’s demeanor completely changed when he realized who Alec was. His social status is something that I will never get used to.

A couple stands up, heading our way, which forces me to step behind Alec with my hand still locked into his. We pass through a curtained doorway, and I step out from behind him. When I look up, my feet stagger, and Alec quickly drops my hand and steadies me.

When I finally gain my footing, I take in the room. “Ho-how did you do all this?”

Lights are hanging all over from the ceiling, creating the most romantic glow. And the table is set with roses and candles.

He leans in and presses the sweetest kiss to my forehead. “I’m not the same teenage boy I was before. I’ve got some tricks up my sleeve now, just you wait.” He winks at me and pulls my chair out.

Settling into it, I open the menu, trying to keep the redness in my cheeks at bay.

He chuckles, stretching his free hand out. When his eyes find mine, they are engulfed in want and need, fueling the barely controlled blush all over my body.

“I missed you, Lu.”

His thumb strokes slowly over my palm, and shivers shoot up my arm.

I smile at him, letting the desire show in my eyes. “I missed you too, Alec. You have no idea.”

His hand squeezes mine. “I’d like to find out.” He smirks and then runs his tongue over his bottom lip.

The waitress approaches us, and when she notices Alec, she lowers her chin, batting her eyelashes.

Oh God, here we go.

She clears her throat. “What can I get you to drink?” She attempts to sound sexy—annoyingly enough, to any guy in the vicinity, I think she does.

She only looks at Alec, but his gaze hasn’t left mine.

“Jack and Coke, please.”

She continues to bat her eyelashes at Alec, whose eyes still haven’t wavered from mine.

She doesn’t even turn to me when she asks, “And for you?” Her tone is annoyed and dripping with jealousy.

Aw, it must be so hard for her.

I look up and wait for her to meet my eyes. A streak of self-assurance hums through me.

When her eyes find mine, I sit back in my seat, forcing her gaze to stay locked on me. Her false confidence wavers.

“I’ll have ice water with a slice of lemon, please, and a side of respect. Thank you. That’s all.”

I turn back to Alec, whose jaw is now on the floor, and he’s barely containing his laughter. The waitress sees his giggles and storms off.

His gorgeous hazel eyes find mine, and his thumb continues to stroke my palm. “Laura Young. Tsk-tsk-tsk. You fucking amaze me.”

I smirk at him, bathing in his compliment.

I know at some point, we need to talk about Jack and figure out how the hell we are going to handle telling Jack that Alec is his dad, what parenting will look like long distance, what Alec and I will look like long distance. But tonight, I want it to be about us, to see if this could even work before we drag my precious baby into it.

Before he can get a word out, I end whatever conversation he might try to start. “Alec, look, I know we need to talk about Jack.” I scoff. “We need to talk about a lot of things. But right now, I just want us to be on a date as Laura and Alec. And I want to pretend like nothing else exists outside these walls.”

He takes a minute to consider my words. His smile is all the answer I need. “Deal. But after tonight, I want to know everything about him. His favorite color, car, sport, flower. What makes him happy, what makes him sad, mad, giddy, everything.”

The intensity of our conversation is cut short as a different waiter brings us the pre-decided appetizer as well as the drinks. Shortly after that, our main course arrives.

The first bite of the New York strip, and I swear I start to drool.

I moan on the second bite, my eyes drifting shut. “Oh my Lord.”

When I open my eyes, my breath falters. Alec’s gaze is locked on my lips, a roaring fire blazing in his eyes.

My breath hitches and my voice is quiet. “Alec?”

His eyes find mine, slowly sliding up, and I think we might be done with dinner sooner than planned.

His voice is rough when he finally opens his mouth. “Mmhmm. Nothing has changed, you know? You still drive me absolutely fucking crazy, Clumsy.”

My voice is barely a whisper as his words smack the air out of my lungs at the use of the long-forgotten nickname. “You remember?”

He smiles, the same dimple appearing on his cheek. “I’ll always remember every single thing between us. I remember what you wore that day I caught you falling off the steps. I remember how you sounded on the phone and how my fucking heart would skip a beat when I heard your voice. I remember every detail of our first date and every one in between. My brain erases pointless memories, just to keep the simplest ones with you.”

He lifts my hand up to his lips and flicks his tongue on the tip of my index finger, causing shivers to roll through my bones.

It has been far too long since the last time I had sex. The last time was literally when Alec and I conceived Jack. And I am woman enough to own up to the fact that I could use some sex right now.

I sit up, commanding his attention. “Any chance you’re not hungry anymore? Want to head back to your place?”

That damn dimple pops out from his smirk, and I would bet money that he’s in agreement with me.

He doesn’t say a thing. He just stands up and walks out of our private room. He returns not a handful of minutes later, stopping right in front of me. I turn in my chair, swinging my legs around.

His hand wraps around my jaw, settling beneath my ear, and he guides me up and out of the chair.

His thumb strokes my cheek, and he tortures me, ever so slightly bringing his lips closer to mine.

But to Alec’s surprise, there is one more thing that has changed about me.

I know what I want, and if I want it, I take it.

I slide my fingers into his hair, taking control. Not hesitating for a second, I close the last inch between our lips and guide the way.

I pull his bottom lip between my teeth, and when his deep moan vibrates in my mouth, I swear my clothes try to disintegrate off my body. If my hands weren’t locked in his hair, I just might help them off—in the middle of a restaurant or not. I mean, it’s a private room after all.

I can tell Alec’s getting restless, letting me lead. He is starting to push back more and more with my every move. He never was good at not being the captain, no matter the circumstance.

The second I give him full control, one of his hands finds my hip, digging in, and the thumb of his other hand finds the pulse of my neck.

He pulls back, our kiss separating, and he runs his tongue across my bottom lip. My ears start ringing from the blood rushing so fast in my body.

His fingers continue to squeeze my throat as he plunges his tongue back into my mouth, creating a whole new rhythm than we had before; it’s faster yet more sensual. His mouth claims me, his kiss seeping into every cell, lighting the nerves on fire.

He leans back. And when he doesn’t make another move, I open my eyes, confused. His hand is now wrapped along my jaw, and his other fingers are still curled around my hip.

His voice is throaty and pleading when he says, “Lu, I don’t know how much longer I can hold back. Power, control has always been my strength. But you are the one weakness I’ve always had.”

“Fuck.” I whisper unintentionally.

He backs us up until my shoulders find the wall, and his hand rounds my thigh, his fingertips trailing up my bare skin.

A finger hitches the lace on my hip. He leans in and nibbles on my earlobe. Warm pulses throb between my legs.

“If we don’t leave in the next minute or two, I’m gonna rip your panties off and fuck you against this wall. I don’t give a fuck who hears.”

His lips graze my jaw as I decide if I’ll let him. But dear God, we have already done way too much in a public place. Regardless of it being in a private, closed-off room, it still feels wrong. But somehow oh-so right.

I nod my head, not completely sure what I’m agreeing to.

Suddenly, my phone goes off, blaring my ringtone into the room. I fumble away from Alec, the word graceful cut from my vocab.

I grab my phone, and Charlotte’s name is illuminated on the screen.

I answer immediately, knowing it will only be about Jack and her calling means she couldn’t fix it herself. “Char, what’s wrong?”

I hear incoherent mumbling on the other line, and my mom senses tingle.

“Charlotte.”

“Lu, I don’t know. He’s been running a fever and asking for you. And after a point of me saying you’ll be home soon, he freaked out and started throwing the tantrum of all tantrums. I have no idea how to get him to stop.”

My heart aches for my boy in pain. “Hand him the phone,” I order Charlotte.

I hear rustling and then eventually Jack’s small voice. “Mommy?”

I sit back down in my chair. “Hey, buddy. I’m coming home right now, okay? Just take a deep breath, and I’ll be right there, okay?”

I haven’t looked back to Alec yet. I don’t want to see the disappointment on his face. But I don’t come first. My son does, and he always will.

Jack sniffles. “Okay, Mom. I love you.”

“I love you too, baby.” I smile into the phone.

Not a second later, he says what I was waiting for, “Even in the rain?”

I finish it. “Even in the storm.”

I click the phone off and slide it into my purse before I’m ready to face Alec.

But he makes the first move. “Is-is he okay?”

When I look up to him, my heart twists, feeling overwhelmed with emotion. His eyes are full of sadness, racked with concern.

Nodding, I say, “Yeah, it’s probably just a cold.”

When I stand up, he snakes his hand around my waist.

“The car should be up front.” He smiles. “Probably has been for a while. Come on. Let’s go check on him.”

I follow him to the limo, climbing in behind him. When his hand lands on my knee, it suddenly hits me.

Let’s? He wants to come with?

I’m torn. I didn’t really even consider the fact that he would offer to join me with Jack tonight. But I don’t know if I’m ready for that. But he was also kept out of Jack’s life for so many years already. I don’t want to make Jack or him miss out on more.

Ugh.

Alec pokes my forehead. “What’s going on in there?”

My words fall from my lips before I even realize it. “Jack doesn’t know you’re his dad. He just thinks that you’re his mommy’s friend. And I don’t want to change that right now. At least, not tonight. Is that okay? If you want to come in. Which you totally don’t have to.” I cut my ramble off, trying to gather my thoughts.

Alec grabs my face in his hands, pulling my undivided attention to him. “First, I would love to come see him tonight. Second, I am just fine, pretending to be your friend right now, if that’s easier on you and him.”

I settle into his grasp, my eyes drifting shut.

He straightens my head up, making me open my eyes. “But let’s get one thing straight, Lu. I don’t want to be your friend.” He leans down until he’s less than an inch from my face, his eyes locked on my lips. “I want to be yours, and I want you to be mine. I want to be the one you turn to. The one to make you happy and to make you laugh. To hold you when you cry. I want to hear my name fall off your lips when I worship you. I want all of it. But I definitely don’t want you to ever think that I consider us just friends.”

My jaw is unhinged when he ends.

Alec really wants that? All of that?

It’s terrifying, giving someone your heart again. Especially knowing the pain it causes when it breaks.

But I know that walking away from this, from what’s growing between us, would be the biggest mistake of my life. I loved Alec. And I don’t know if I ever truly stopped.

I have no words for him to prove that that’s what I want too. So, I offer him all I can. “Kiss me.”

And fucking hell, he does just that.

The limo comes to a stop, and my heart is pounding, threatening to break through my rib cage. Alec helps me out of the limo, and we make our way up the sidewalk.

I know Jack already met Alec. But this is different. This time, it will be in our house, our home. He’s coming to check on Jack while he’s sick, vulnerable. The mom in me is saying that this is such a bad idea. That I should tell Alec to go home and that we can try this another time.

But every time is going to be scary. I have to stop living my life on the sidelines. I’ve been doing it since I had Jack. I sit back and watch all the excitement of life, never being in the middle of it.

That ends today.

Sliding my key in the lock, I think my heart is a beat away from exploding.

The second the door opens, Josh raises his hand, gesturing upstairs.

We quickly walk inside, and I slowly shut the door behind me, locking it. I slip my heels off and look at Alec, who already has his coat and shoes off. His hands are crossed, clasped at his belt.

Rocking back and forth on his heels, he whispers to me, “I can stay here if you want, Lu. Your pace.”

If we’re going to do this, we might as well go all the way.

“No, I want you with me.”

Without another word, I link my fingers in his and lead him upstairs. We pass the guest bath and my bedroom, stopping right outside Jack’s door.

I knock once and twist the handle. Before I can even open it, I can hear Jack’s pitter-patter to the door.

Jack’s sweet voice cracks when he says, “Mommy, you’re here!”

He wraps his arms around my legs. He gives me a hug and steps back. When he notices Alec, he tilts his head to the side.

Jack studies him for a moment, and then a lightbulb goes off. “You’re the guy from skating.”

Alec looks hesitantly at me before bending down to his knees. “Yeah, I am. Do you remember my name?”

Jack abruptly nods his head. I’m afraid he’ll give himself whiplash one of these times.

“Yep. Alec. With a C, not an X.” Jack smiles at him, standing up a little straighter.

I’m beginning to suspect that Jack was never really that sick. I reach out to place my wrist on his forehead.

This little shit. He’s not even warm.

I join Alec at Jack’s level. “How are you feeling, buddy?”

His eyes go wide, and he crosses his hands behind his back. “Better now.”

“Mmhmm.” I smile at him, slowly shaking my head.

Jack turns his attention back to Alec. “Wanna see my room?”

Alec bites his lip when his eyes lock with mine. “Would that be okay, Laura?”

Jack interrupts, “Mom, pleeeease?”

Standing back up, I straighten my dress out. “Okay, okay. I’m going to go change. You’ve got five minutes.”

Jack thrusts his hand in the air. “Yes! Come on, Alec!”

Alec stands up next to me, his eyes finding mine. “Thank you.” His gaze drops ever so slightly to my lips, making these damn butterflies flutter again.

“It’s no problem. I’ll be back in a minute.” I point to my bedroom door. “I’ll be right in there if you need me.”

He turns into Jack’s room, whispering under his breath, “I’ll always need you.”

I’m frozen for a second, debating between letting him know that I heard him and letting him have his moment. Going with the latter, I turn toward my room, completely unable to keep the smile off of my face.

When I get into my bathroom, I reach for my makeup wipes, itching to feel the relief of a bare face. I pull the pins out of my hair, letting the loose curls fall around my face.

I stroll to my closet, almost giddy to get into some sweatpants and a T-shirt. Slipping into my favorite pair of gray sweats, I take my bra off and shove my arms into a rugged, oversize Duluth High Greyhounds hockey T-shirt. As of late, this has been the shirt my hands gravitate toward.

Kicking my feet into my little slippers, I head back to Jack’s room. When I open the door to his room, my heart finally bursts. My eyes well up at the perfect sight before me.

Alec is sitting in Jack’s tiny car bed, looking like a Doberman in a Chihuahua’s dog bed. Jack is curled into his side with his head on Alec’s shoulder, fast asleep.

Alec’s hand is calmly rubbing up and down his back, so softly that it looks like he’s barely touching him.

I remember being like that with Jack at first. Being so scared to harm a hair on his head that every move you make is made with the utmost delicacy.

If you had told me a month ago that I would walk into Jack’s bedroom and see Alec holding him, I would have slapped the craziness out of you.

But nothing in the world can compare to the feeling of rightness and the feeling of being whole that this brings.

I whisper to him while making my way to the side of the bed, “Hey.”

His eyes playfully scan my body, making me suddenly nervous if I went a little too comfy with my appearance.

He runs his tongue over his bottom lip before biting it. “You look great. Nice T-shirt, by the way.” Winking at me, he slides Jack off of his shoulder, tucking him underneath the blanket.

Alec remains there for a moment, just looking at Jack. He stretches his hand out and strokes his thumb across Jack’s cheek with the most heartwarming smile on his lips. “Good night, Jack.”

He kicks his legs off the bed and rises to take a step. But when he puts his foot down, he finds a Lego and stumbles forward toward me. His other foot slams into the ground as he falls. I reach my hands out to try to catch him. But he’s a billion times bigger and stronger than me. When his hands find mine, he continues to crash into me, pushing me back.

My fingers are still locked in his when we fall into the wall, our hands pinned above my head, his lips hovering over mine. It takes all but a second for him to recover from our crash.

His warm breath is teasing me, begging me to make a move. I’m breathing heavily, somehow exhausted. More like panting because his face is an inch from mine and he has my hands secured above my head. His forehead slowly rolls onto mine, his breath matching my pace.

“Laura.” His voice is breathy, husky.

Slightly raising my head up, I take a deep breath and step out around him, immediately feeling the loss of his warmth.

I turn back to him with the biggest smirk on my face and whisper, “Come on.”

His dimple makes an appearance, and he follows me, avoiding all the Legos this time.

After he passes through the doorframe, I shut the light off and quietly close Jack’s door. We move silently to my room, his hand guiding my back the whole way as I lead. When I close my door, the air changes. It’s shifting, smoldering, begging to be lit ablaze.

Alec’s grip on my back tightens, and in one swift move, he spins me, pulling me flush against his chest. I’m bathing in his warm breath, getting lost in his touch.

Backing us up against my wall, he says, “Lu, you have no idea how much I’ve missed you.”

His fingers find my hairline, and ever so slightly, they trail down my face, caressing me, sending tingles down my neck and spine.

His lips follow his fingers, carefully placing kisses in their path. When his kiss finds my jaw, a small moan escapes my parted lips.

The hand on my back digs in, pulling my hips into his. And oh Lord, his dick has definitely grown since the last time we were in this position.

His kiss continues to drift down my jaw, finding the sensitive spot at the base of my neck.

I give my hands permission to move, and they begin to travel up his chiseled torso. Professional hockey has definitely done wonders for this man’s body. I continue trailing my hands upward and wrap them around his neck, deepening his scorching kiss on my skin.

His tongue finds this irregular rhythm that curls my toes into the carpet.

“Alec.” His name comes out breathless, desperate.

He pulls away from my neck, returning to his towering height. His fingers tease me, lifting my shirt and sliding over my bare skin.

He slowly leans down, his lips grazing mine. “Tell me what you want, Lu. Tell me, and it’s yours.”

I look up, finding his eyes are open and locked on my lips, flickering up when he sees my gaze.

Sticking my tongue out to lick my lips, I accidentally graze his. He sucks in a sharp breath, waiting for my move.

“Tell me what you want.” His fingers continue teasing me, rising up right beneath my breasts but never going all the way.

He moves them up again, going further than before. His hands freeze, torturing me with what’s to come.

“Say it, Laura.” His fingers dance back and forth, tightening the already-straining tension in my chest.

“I want …”

His fingers move higher, grazing one of my nipples, forcing me to suck in a breath.

“I want you.”

Without a word, he yanks his hands from my shirt, grabs the back of my thighs, and lifts me up, wrapping my legs around his waist.

His lips crash down onto mine. “About fucking time,” he growls into my mouth.

His forceful kiss possesses me, branding his name on my heart. He steps forward, sandwiching me between him and the wall. His tongue grazes my lips, begging for entrance. I grant it, and it finds mine like a magnet.

I instinctually roll my hips from the fire burning in my veins. My center presses into the bulge in his pants.

Breaking the kiss, he breathes into my parted lips, “Laura, look at me.”

I lift my gaze to his hooded eyes.

“Good girl.” He takes slow steps toward the bed. “Fuck, Lu. I want to taste every inch of your body.” His hips roll against me, and my eyes roll back.

“I want tonight to be about you, Lu. I just want to enjoy making you come, and trust me, I will enjoy it as much as you.”

He places his hands on my hips and hooks his fingers in the waistband. In one swift movement, he pulls my sweats down to my ankles and tosses them onto the floor.

His hands find my hips again, his fingers biting at my skin. The roughness of his grip makes me gasp. Which in turn makes him moan.

He hovers over me, his hooded eyes locking with mine. His stare is liquid desire. “Mmm. My dick is craving you so bad, Lu. I want to fuck you until you can’t take it, until you’re panting, until you come so hard that you can’t see straight. And trust me, I will. But I’m going to make you wait. I’m going to make me wait. No matter how hard it is. Because when that time comes, I want you to have no doubts about us. That when neither of us can take it anymore and we finally give in, I need you to know that once I fuck you, there’s no going back. There will never again be another girl or another guy. I’m yours, and you’re mine.” His hot tongue runs up my jaw. “And more than anything, tonight, I want to watch you come with your legs wrapped around my neck.”

He bends down and lowers his lips to mine, making me want so much more than what he’s going to give.

He begins to kiss down my body. He nips at the peaks beneath my shirt before trailing his lips and tongue down my exposed stomach, giving extra kisses to each stretch mark.

When he reaches the lace on my hips, he looks up to me with primal desire in his eyes. He flicks his tongue on my hip bone, making me jerk in response.

Then, he takes the lace between his teeth and pulls them down my bare legs, the throbbing between my legs begging for his touch.

He tosses the bundle of lace onto the sweats without tearing his eyes off of me. Taking my ankle in his hand, he begins placing delicate kisses, starting at my heel and working toward the most sensitive part of me. Each kiss is getting rougher as he claims every inch of my skin.

When he gets to the edge of my center, I’m bursting at the seams. I didn’t know that kisses and nibbles on my skin could feel like this, that it could feel this intense. It’s definitely better than my own hand.

His eyes flicker up to me right before his tongue runs up my sex. My head rolls back, my eyes following. Whimpers and cries escape me in a constant rhythm as his tongue circles my clit.

One of his arms hooks underneath my leg, locking me in his grasp. His other hand begins stroking up my inner thigh.

His fingers find my entrance, threatening to throw me over the edge. He pushes two fingers inside, pumping in and out until I’m almost begging for release.

My back arches off the bed, my legs quivering as his pace speeds up. My moans are uncontrollable, at his beck and call.

He pulls his kiss away, and in a rough, deep voice, he orders, “Look at me.”

With every remaining ounce of willpower I have left, I lift my gaze up. His eyes are on fire. He’s enjoying this just as much as I am.

His pace picks up again, thrusting his fingers into me faster and faster. “Come for me.”

I crash, spiraling into the darkness. Shock waves pulse through my core, and I arch my back far off the bed.

“Good girl.” Wet warmth latches on to me. Alec licks and sucks like I’m the most luscious drink, lapping me up.

When my body stops rocking from the waves and my breathing begins to slow, he pulls away, stands up, and lies down on the bed next to me.

Feeling way too vulnerable, I lay my hands over my face, shutting my eyes. But Alec grabs them and pulls them away. Finally forcing my eyes open, I look at him, and he’s beaming, proud of what he just did.

I shake my head, laughing, overwhelmed with all the emotions coursing in me. But mostly in shock. Because he was most certainly not that good at oral before. If it were an Olympic sport, he would take gold.

He grabs a pillow and lightly hits me with it. “What’s so funny?”

I prop myself up onto my elbows and get a good look at him. He has no idea the grasp he has on my heart.

“Thank you for coming over, for being here.” My cheeks heat up at the thought of what just happened. “And, well, thanks for that too.” I laugh.

He smiles, exposing that damn dimple. “There is nowhere else I would rather be, Lu. And you don’t ever have to thank me for that.” His eyes scan down my body. “Trust me, that was as much for me as it was for you.”

There’s been a question in my mind since we got here tonight, but I’m scared to ask him. Even after what we just did, it feels like a step. And I don’t know if he wants to take it.

“I know that look, Lu. What’s up?” Alec’s eyes are all serious, homed in one hundred percent on me.

I hate how well he can read me. He’s always been able to read me like a damn book.

“I was wondering if you wanted to stay here tonight. It’s really late, and I …” I trail off from the excuse I was going to give. “I just want you here, with me.”

He takes my hand in his, slowly stroking his fingers over mine. Without a word, he leans over and kisses me. But this kiss is gentle and loving. It’s as soft as a feather and as deep as the ocean.

When he pulls away, a sting burns behind my eyes. It’s been so long, so hard to do all of this alone.

He kisses my cheek. “I was hoping you were going to ask, by the way.”

He wraps me up in his arms, and I feel myself sink into him. All my stress, anger, and pain melt against him.

A peace I haven’t felt in a long time settles into my heart.