Feral For Her Freedom

Intense agony coursed its way through every inch of my body. I could feel the mercury eating my muscles while my body frantically tried to reproduce everything I was losing. My vision blurred in and out as if I was repeatedly pushed underwater, always glancing at the surface as I tried to claw my way back to the top.

My skin was abhorred, like clothing rubbing at an open wound. It stung in a million needle like sensations, my feet felt as though they were walking on glass, my hands as though they’d been glued to a burning stove top. I desperately wanted to cry but the tears wouldn’t come.

I could do nothing. A prisoner in my own body.

Myrin didn’t take me back to the cells. Instead, he brought me to a beautiful room. Cherry red hardwood covered the floor, a white fluffy rug taking up the majority of the expanse. The furniture and bed frame were all hand-carved out of ebony wood. Silver handles on all the drawers, a beautiful contrast against the dark wood. A gold threaded bed set that matched the upholstered ottoman only magnified the elegance of the room. A set of French doors allowed a glimpse at the bathroom beyond it. The ottoman was placed to the right of the doors, a painted picture of falling leaves perfectly placed above it on the wall.

This was a room befitting of royalty and yet for some reason I found more comfort in my cell.

Myrin tossed me on the bed and because I had no control over my limbs, I laid in a sprawled out position as if baring myself to him. I was beyond caring at this point, much worse had happened to me than him seeing me in a pose I had no control over.

The indecent garment that might as well have been invisible was stripped from my body. He wadded the sheer blue shift into a ball and chucked it into a corner of the room. His hands traced my hips that had once been full but were now two jutting bones with skin stretched taut over them. I could feel his every touch, the way his fingers fluttered across my skin teasingly as if we were lovers.

I stared up at the ceiling, knowing what was coming next. It had happened more times than I was willing to count. Each time another part of me broke off and dissolved into nothing, bitter coldness replacing it.

I could feel his tongue on me, bile rising up in my throat at the sensation. His saliva coated my skin in a wet trail following his tongue that then dipped into my belly button. “My consort won’t be nearly as pretty anymore,” he told me, his breath fanning my skin, drying his saliva on my body. His nose brushed my stomach as his hands creeped inward on my thighs. “I guess you’ll just have to work double shifts now.” He kissed the valley of my stomach and I could feel his smile.

I tried to will my mind to go anywhere else, to take me to a place anywhere other than here. I tried to focus on the pain the mercury caused me, but it only seemed to heighten every sensation Myrin gave.

I was stuck to listen to his every word, to feel his every touch.

Silent tears leaked from my eyes as I refused to look but could know moment by moment what was happening to me. I wanted to lose my hearing, I wanted to be unable to feel, to get the numbness back.

I’ll have you begging for this feeling, you’ll crave the numbness of your body, the emptiness of everything but your own thoughts.

His words to me from what seemed years ago flittered through my mind.

He was right. I was now praying for the feeling of nothing to engulf me. I begged for the numbness to take hold of me.

Myrin’s essence flooded through me but I would never make the mistake of believing him to be done. Over and over, I was subjected to his vile actions.

Hate was my only companion. Sorrow, despair, anger, nothingness had all abandoned me. Hate always was present, hate never left me. I let it fester within me, pushing me out little by little as it took on a mind of its own. I was becoming two different minds in one body. One that was done with life, too exhausted to care or think while the other raged and plotted against every aggressor.

Clammy hands slithered up my body, brushing over each rib with an audible sound. They didn’t stop until they rested on my cheeks and Myrin was above me, his green eyes boring into mine.

Green, I despised the color. Everything about it sickened me.

He pinched my cheeks as if he could hear my thoughts. “Such a cutie when your try to act feral.” He leaned down and anyone would think he was about to kiss me, but I would never be so foolish as to think so.

He would not kiss me. He never touched my lips with his own. I didn’t know what his reasoning for it was, but I knew it was a rule he’d never break. All I could do was be grateful that for whatever reason this was something he wouldn’t do.

“We both know that your tough act was destroyed a long time ago,” the One said, his thumbs stroking my cheek bones as if I was something precious. “It’s only a matter of time before your spirit is fully broken as well.” He chuckled when he saw my eyes harden in determination. “Adorable, yet so absolutely disgusting,” he whispered, yanking my head back harshly.

My jugular was completely exposed to him but instead of going for my life source, he chomped down on my collar bone adding another scar to the many already littered there.

He pulled back, sitting in a kneeling position with his legs folded on each side of me. He rested on my abdomen as he straddled me, his hand brushing circles on my flesh. He flashed his incisors, letting me see my blood on his teeth before slowly licking his lips.

His tongue touched the tips of his pointed canines, collecting the blood from them. The deep red liquid stained his tongue and his pale pink lips.

Crawling off me, he retrieved what he needed and left, not caring about the fact I was lying in a pool of fluids and blood. Or that I was left bare and exposed to the cold air. He simply walked out of the room, clicking the door shut behind him as if he had just tucked in a child who had drifted off to sleep.

The pain of the mercury came back tenfold, as if to punish me for not feeling it as harshly when Myrin was raping me. It was another sleepless night of endless torture, no escape for me to heal or simply breathe.

After some time, I did not know if I was simply becoming accustomed to the pain or if it was wearing off. I could start moving again, slowly regaining command of my body.

I didn’t move anyway.

What was the point? Escape was pointless. Daedra made sure that I was not going anywhere. I’d never believed in Daedra before but now I was beginning to think that there was no other possibility for my circumstance. Why had Myrin come back early? How had his consort found me? There was no other explanation than some higher being put me here and got a sick thrill out of my endless torture.

If I ever met Daedra myself I’d claw out his eyes and drink his blood as if it was fine wine.

I watched as the sun rose, its warm glow shining through the window. It fell across the room, scattering shadows and providing me in a warmth I hadn’t felt in ages.

I waited for Myrin to come back and drag me to the dungeon, but he didn’t. The sun rose and set without me ever being disturbed. I had shifted to my side at some point to watch out the window and see the painted sky as the disk that was the sun began to set.

The pain from the mercury had greatly subsided but that was almost worse because of the pain I was now aware of in my nether regions. Just the thought of it twisted my insides and had me flipping on my stomach, dry heaving. I tried to throw up my guts, but my stomach was completely empty.

I was still in the process of gagging when the door finally opened. I didn’t need to turn to see who it was. His scent wafted into the room, the disgusting aura of his dominance and pheromones overwhelming my weak frame.

“Is Beastie feeling slightly ill?” His mocking tone overpowered the sound of my retching.

I heard his near silent foot falls come towards me, before the bed dipped with his weight as he sat beside me.

This was it. He was going to take me back.

My body began to convulse though I didn’t know if it was out of fear or my body was just shutting down.

“Don’t worry Beastie, I’m not taking you back to the cell.” He rubbed at my back, but I found no comfort in it. “For now,” he added maliciously.

He grabbed my shoulder and hauled me over so that I was on my back instead of propped up on my side. He examined my body, prodding at my sides and yanking open my mouth to see my teeth. “Hmm,” he mused, “having you healthy would be more beneficial.” He released me abruptly, rising from the bed in one fluid motion. “Rest up, Beastie, you and I are going to have a lot of fun in the days to come.”

“Wha–”

Myrin place a finger to my lips. “Shhh. Don’t let your mouth ruin my evening. Every time you speak you make me want to hurt you.” He pushed me into the bed, his palms pressing into my shoulders. “You are on the verge of breaking, all you need is a little push.” His claws extended and sank into my shoulders, “but I’m not going to nudge you over the line, I’m going to shove you off the cliff.”