Fenris Perrywinkle: The Great Galactic Duel

Moist lips press themselves against my own. The kiss is long and passionate. A fleshy pop brings the lip-lock to an end and Amanda leans back and smiles at me. The bubbling hot tub feels wonderful – almost as wonderful as the gorgeous woman straddling my lap. Her electric blue bikini hugs her womanly form in a wonderful way.

She gives me the bedroom eyes and leans in close. “You’re all mine, oh captain, my captain,” she purrs.

“Not before I get a piece of the action, sweetie.” A bright red bikini wearing Jennifer pushes Amanda off my lap. The woman playfully wrestle in the frothing water in front of me for a minute or two before the brunette relents and takes a seat on the other side. Now it’s the blonde that slides onto me and presses her lips to mine.

A few passionate kisses later, Jennifer dismounts and sits opposite me with Amanda. The women look me up and down, then at each other and giggle.

All I can do is smile. What are these gorgeous women up to?

“Meet our friend, Alex,” the women say in unison.

A fabulous redhead in a bright green bikini slowly rises from the water in front of me. She is every bit the curvaceous woman that Jennifer and Amanda are.

“Do you like her?” the brunette asks as she peeks around the side of the new woman.

“She’s our gift to you for being such an awesome guy,” the blonde adds as she peeks around the other side.

All I can do is breath as my eyes take in every inch of the beautiful creature standing in front of me.

“I’m all for you, darling,” Alex whispers with a thick foreign accent as she bends over and places her mouth on mine.

Something doesn’t feel right. Her tongue feels cold and flat… like, a piece of metal or something.

I blink.

Little Tim clutches a ladder in front of me and tries to force a spoon full of milky liquid into my mouth. He notes that I’ve awakened and starts to tremble a little. “Warden says you gotta take your meds. Not my fault, Fenris. No funny business now!”

The little man clutches his ladder with white knuckles as I take in a familiar scene.

I’m bolted to the roof of LifeGuard maximum security prison again. What a revolting development. And here I thought I’d gone to heaven or something.

“You’re not mad at me, are ya? Warden Jefferson made me give you the meds you know. Not my fault.”

I look around – most of the rubble has been cleared from when Little Green… er… Nester and Bubbles Benson freed me the first time. The roof in front of me wasn’t really repaired, but it had been patched.

“You’re not going to shout at me and try and make me fall off my ladder again are you?” Tim asks, almost afraid to look at me.

A wave of deep sadness washes over me and I shake my head. “No, Tim. And I’m sorry for how I treated you the last time I was stuck up here. How long have I been here this time?”

“About a… a week,” the little man manages to squeak out. “Warden Jefferson wasn’t sure you were going to survive; you looked pretty bad when they brought you back. But he insisted we bolt you to the roof again, just in case.”

Just in case, huh? Just in case I still have some alien mojo kicking around in my veins? Obviously the good Warden Jefferson is more than he appears to be. I don’t think it’s coincidence that he’s in charge of this joint… and is mixed up in the Everbright / Deepdarc dispute as well.

Tim relaxes a tad and begins waddling down his ladder. “I’ll be back at five to change your diaper.”

What? No more potty bucket swinging from a rope tied to my waist? I was almost tempted to rejoice until I remembered that I’m now wearing an adult diaper. This is humiliating.

Someone in a cell down below me shouts out, “Hey Perrywinkle, Tim will be back later to change YOUR DIAPER! Ha ha ha ha!”

The entire wing bursts into riotous laughter. My eyes start to redden a little. If I do have any alien juice left, I might just use it on everyone here.

“Prisoner 776…” The warden’s voice is thick with smugness as yet another of his drones buzzes into view. “Here you are again. Right where you belong.”

I narrow my eyes and glare at the fat face filling the tiny screen in front of me. “You’re warden of a prison and an announcer at an intergalactic death match? What’s your game, you despicable little twerp!”

The warden’s face goes beat red with anger. “You will show me proper respect, prisoner 776!”

“And why hasn’t anyone actually seen you in the flesh before?” I don’t see any reason not to ask the hard questions at this point. My options at the moment seem to be death or stay bolted to a roof. After everything I’ve been through, I couldn’t care less any more.

“Are you just an immobile pile of alien lard sitting in a control room somewhere? You’re probably eating donuts right now, aren’t you? Come on, admit it. You probably going through a barrel of cola every day too, aren’t you? You fat piece of garbage! Are you even wearing clothes right now? I bet you’re naked.”

Somehow, the warden’s face manages to get a little redder. “If you ever do meet me in person, that will be the final day of your life!”

I let out a loud yawn. “Borrrrring. You’re all talk, you miserable vomitus mass!” Yeah, I just quoted The Princess Bride. Don’t judge. It’s a fabulous movie.

The warden is silent. I think I finally made him so mad that he’s actually lost the ability to speak. I bet the other prisoners are going to throw me a party.

“You’re in a hurry to die, son,” he finally manages to hiss. His little drone flies right up to my nose. I consider licking the screen, just to be a prick.

“You want to meet me in person so badly? Well then call me the tooth fairy, boy – cause your wish is my command.”

The warden drone buzzes away and disappears from sight. I can’t decide which is worse – the fact that he called himself the tooth fairy, or the fact that he thinks the tooth fairy grants wishes. He must be some sort of alien!

Time passes. Little Tim changes my diaper twice a day. Other than that – nothing exciting happens. Even the warden hasn’t put in an appearance. I guess in the end, he’s all talk? Maybe he’s hanging out on the intergalactic stadium – planning the death match between the two loves of my life.

Speaking of which, if anyone knows how I can get back into that dream I had when I was half dead, hit me up in the comments. I don’t care that it wasn’t real. For serious.

I almost jump for joy (well, happily wriggle against my restraints) when a burst of alien energy blows a hole through the patched roof in front of me.

My beautiful Amanda slowly descends through the hole and hovers in the air in front of me.

“Here you are! I was going out of my mind with worry! What happened? How did you end up back here?”

Before I can answer, small arms fire erupts from the floors below us. I’m suddenly gripped with fear. I’m not sure if I was actually bullet proof before – but I’m definitely not now! I’m a sitting duck up here!

Amanda definitely is, as bullets harmlessly bounce off of her. She flies in front of me, using that fabulous body to shield me from harm.

“I’m sorry, Fenris, but I might have to put them all down! I won’t risk them hurting you!”

Well that’s sweet... in a ‘I killed a whole bunch of people to save you’ kind of way. “You’re not a killer, Amanda!” I shout above the noise and commotion. “There’s got to be another way!”

In answer to my statement, another burst of alien energy rains down through the hole in the roof. All of the guards and prisoners below us convulse uncontrollably, then topple over on the ground.

My eyes open wide. “Amanda? What did you just do?”

She shakes her head. “I didn’t do anything!”

Jennifer descends through the hole and strikes a pose in the air in front of us. “No you didn’t. I did. And that’s why I’m going to win in the end. I’m a woman of action.”

Amanda doubles up her fists and begins floating toward her rival. “You just… killed… all those people?”

Jenn smirks at the brunette, then tosses her hair and pretends to lose interest. “Not dead, actually. Just zapped them enough to knock them all out. I’m not a butcher – despite what I’m going to do to you tomorrow, sweetie.”

Tomorrow? Have I really been hanging here for a couple of weeks now?

Amanda continues to slowly close the distance between her and the blonde. “Stop calling me ‘Sweetie’, sweetie. And my team tells me I’m the most advanced champion that Everbright has seen in millennia. So we’ll see who dismembers whom tomorrow.”

The blonde mirrors the brunette’s pose and also begins floating forward. “Good. I’d hate to mop the floor with you too quickly. I’m hoping you’ll provide at least a little challenge.”

The woman softly collide in the air and bounce off of one another – the veins of their respective bodysuits glowing brightly.

I clear my throat.

Sorry to ruin the fantasy, but I’m not sure how long the guards are going to be knocked out for.

“Girls? Little help here?”

Reluctantly, the women end their death stare and turn back to me. Their powerful arms easily snap the cables holding me in place.

Amanda holds me under one arm like a rolled up carpet. “I’ll see to him. I was here first.”

Jenn narrows her eyes, like she’s about to challenge that assertion, but then apparently changes her mind and gives a little shrug. “Fine. He’s going to be all mine after tomorrow anyway. Enjoy a last evening together.”

I can’t believe Jenn gave me up that easily – although a moment later, I figure it out.

“Might want to change his diaper by the way,“ the blonde says with a smirk as she flies back through the hole in the roof and disappears from sight.

Thanks for that, Jenn. You just couldn’t help yourself, could you?

Amanda watches to make sure she’s gone, then flies the two of us to freedom. The night air is freezing and I start to shiver again. I wish these women carried winter coats with them!

I think I managed to whip off my diaper and pull up my pants without Amanda noticing. I’m not sure the people in the mall parking lot far below us will appreciate that move, but who cares about them?

“Where are we going?” I manage to ask before my lips freeze. “Not back to your father’s I hope? He politely asked me to leave.”

In answer to my question (I have to say, my timing is impeccable) an invisible door opens in front of us. A moment later, I find myself inside a small, cloaked alien craft. The interior is familiar – I’m pretty sure it’s Everbright technology.

Instrument panels illuminate as the craft senses the return of its master. Amanda quickly makes her way to the front of the ship and slides into the pilot seat. I kind of feel like I’m in a shuttle from Star Trek or something, except this little buggy is way more advanced looking.

A beam of blue light hits Amanda’s forehead. Suddenly the side door shuts and the ship launches forward without making any sound at all.

Well, except for the sound of me gasping that is.

“Amanda, what –“

She anticipates my question and cuts me off. “It’s the Champion of Everbright’s personal ship,” she says. “Sorry, but you weren’t actually champion long enough to really learn about your role and the perks it brings.”

I try and nod my head as nonchalantly as I can before I realize that she isn’t turning around to look at me. “So where –“

“Back to my quarters. There’s something I want to show you. Something important. If my hunch is right… we might be able to pull this whole thing down!”

I kind of tuned out after she said ‘her quarters’. I just got out of prison. There’s really only one thing on my mind right now. I wonder if she has a hot tub?