Chapter Chapter VI - Your Light is too Dim
All the girls in this classroom seem to be vying for their attention with the hair flipping, and the not so subtle glances. Every single one of them, even Hailey. Her eyes constantly find their way to the back of the room.
The fact that Ruen and Finley are ignoring everybody as if they don’t exist seems to be adding fuel to the fire. It becomes a challenge now to gain just a brief glance from them. The only person they’re paying attention to is Luella and she’s lapping it up, basking in their attention, so proud of herself.
The sound of her voice and her giggles are grating on my nerves. Never in all the years that I know her that I dislike her so much.
The fact that it’s so hard for me to ignore them is making me even more furious. I’m just like all the other pathetic girls in here. My eyes are constantly drawn to them, especially Ruen.
He’s sitting back in his chair with his long feet spread apart under the table. His hair is sexily tousled and long enough that the end of his black silky curls is touching the collar of his white shirt. His navy blue blazer is unbuttoned. Even in the stuffy school uniform, he managed to look like a cross between an arrogant, elegant socialite and a reckless bad boy.
One of his knees is touching Luella’s and he’s whispering something into her ear that causes her to giggle.
She’s leaning close to him while her right hand is holding Finley’s who doesn’t seem like he’s paying attention to anything or anyone around him. His handsome face is aloof and as icy cold as his ash pale blond hair. It is swept back but a few locks fall in front of his vivid green eyes which are now trained outside the window where the crows are cawing loudly.
As if he could feel my eyes on him, Finley turns his head from the window to study me impassionately. I quickly avert my gaze only to be struck by Ruen’s electric blue stare already locked on me. Luella shoots me a deadly glare and entwines her fingers through Ruen’s and tightens her grip on Finley’s hand.
My own hands are prickling, stung with the current I try to control and keep hidden.
“Hey, take a picture of us,” she says to me with a smirk. “You won’t strain your neck and it’ll last longer.”
I turn back around to face the front and Hailey lets a hiss of breath through her teeth in annoyance. “Just how did you survive living with her for so long without killing her?”
I shrug my shoulders while trying to block the sound of Luella’s laughter.
The class quiets down when our teacher, Mr. Boyd enters the room.
As I try hard to pay attention to Mr. Boyd’s monotonous voice, I decided that I don’t like them - Ruen and Finley. I’m furious when I see them with Luella and when I’m furious, I get hurt. So, I don’t like them.
I feel their gaze burning holes on my back. Do I hate them? I don’t know. It doesn’t make sense but I feel betrayed. I’m so angry with them, angrier than I’ve ever been with anybody in my life so far so, I must have disliked them. Very much.
My feelings are usually very controlled, ranging from like to dislike. Very rarely that I experienced strong feelings but in the last two months, I’ve experienced fear, yearning, and pain. In the space of two days, I’m feeling all sorts of intense feelings I’ve never felt before like guilt and fury and now, maybe hate. No, strong dislike. A very strong dislike.
Mr. Boyd drones on and I keep feeling their eyes on me. I want to take notes but my fingers are still tingling. Eventually, my exhaustion takes over so I rest my head on the table. My hands, I keep hidden my lap, under the table.
“Miss Crawford, is this class too boring for you?” Mr. Boyd is looking at me from over his gold wire-rimmed glasses. Mr. Boyd is very strict and stern and Hailey calls him Mr. Boyd the Robot - behind his back.
I hear snickers behind me.
I raise my head, look into his eyes and says, “I’m sorry, Mr. Boyd. I’m just feeling very tired. I won’t do it again.”
“Pay attention, Miss Crawford.” He nods his head before he turns around to continue with the lesson.
Hailey rolls her eyes before she leans in. “I bet he would have sent me to detention if I slept in his class,” she whispers.
“I wasn’t sleeping,” I whisper back.
Hailey is convinced that our teachers let me get away with anything. She told me once that if I committed murder, all I have to do is flutter my eyelashes and the teachers would make excuses for me and blame it all on the victim.
I come home to an empty house again. Even Mrs. McEwan’s old blue Honda Civic that’s usually parked close to the side entrance isn’t there today.
“Hello, I’m home!” I call out, breaking the deafening silence. One good thing about being home is that there are no “other” creatures lurking around any dark corners. Everything is quiet.
My footsteps echo through the house as I go up to my room. I let go of my bag with a thump and throw the curtains wide open to stare out at the lake. The branches of the old willow tree are swaying in the breeze. The calm water is glittering under the sun.
My mind goes to back Ruen and the bracelet.
My own hand involuntarily goes up to my neck. I loosen the tie, undo a button of my shirt, and pull out a necklace that’s been hanging there for years. It’s gold with a pretty filigreed heart-shaped pendant given by my mom. I was told to never take it off, so I never do.
I shake the heavy pendant and something rattles inside it.
“So how was your day, Madison?” asks dad as he cuts through his steak - medium rare, pink in the middle and caramelized brown on the outside, just the way he likes it.
Mrs. McEwan is busy removing the soup bowls from our dinner table.
“It was good,” answers Madison. “Wren invited me to their cottage this weekend. Can I go, dad?”
“Get her mom to give me a call, sweetie,” says mom before dad can reply.
Dad gives mom a look before he turns his attention to me. I don’t miss the way his eyes flicker to Luella’s empty seat beside me.
My dad is skinny and tall. He has salt and pepper hair and dark brown eyes. While Madison takes after mom in coloring, the shape of her face, her nose, and the way she smiles look a lot like dad.
“How about you, Melissa? What’s new?”
“Well, I went to get my hair and my nails done with mom today,” I tell him before I take a sip of my drink. I lift my hand up to show him my perfectly manicured fingernails. They’re just simple nude color while mom’s are bright red.
He nods approvingly at my nails but doesn’t say anything about my dark hair. I know he doesn't approve of mom having my hair dyed and Luella’s hair bleached constantly.
His eyes once again settle on Luella’s empty chair. “Any of you girls know where your sister is?” he asks us even though he raises his eyebrows at mom.
“Oh, lighten up, James. She’s probably just at a friend’s house,” mom snaps.
“Do you know who this friend is? Doesn’t she know when to come home for dinner? What are they up to?”
Mom’s fingers scrunch the linen napkin. “Well, if you’re home more often, you might be able to ask her those questions yourself. If you put your family first and not married to your work...”
“What are you saying, Victoria?”
Their voices are rising. Madison and I look at each other. It’s time to excuse ourselves from the dinner table.
“How did you get home today?” I ask Madison once we get upstairs. We can still hear their voices from up here.
“Wren had her driver dropped me off,” she answers, quietly.
I’m feeling bad about not picking her up after school today. I should have known that Luella wouldn’t be bothered to drive our sister home. I think my exhaustion is making me forget things. It's making me confused.
“Why didn’t you call me?”
Madison shrugs her shoulders and stares at her feet. “Wren said it’s not a problem.”
“Next time, you call me,” I tell her before I push my door open and slowly make my way into my room. "Call me and I'll come to get you."
“Melissa?”
I stop and turn to look at her.
Her face looks sad and her eyes look too bright. “Your light is too dim. Please don’t let it burn out.”
“Huh?”
Her cheeks turn bright red and she looks away quickly. “Nothing. Good night, Melissa.” Then she’s gone.