Chapter 13.
Eric:
“Look at those waves, Dove! Look how big they are!”
And my Princess burst out laughing.
I took her to the local tavern because she had to eat too. Because she wanted to watch the sea and I really didn’t want to take her to the beach. Because we had a perfect view of its restless waters from here - all I had to do was to arrange a seat by the window.
“You know you won´t avoid it, do you?” She winked at me.
Dammit! Suddenly, I wished she was as fascinated by the marvelous spectacle as she was two hours ago when we came here. Back then, I inwardly begged so she would pay at least a bit of her attention to me. But she couldn’t tear herself away from that window.
Now, I wished she just watched the sea again. But no, the beautiful eyes of my Princess were fixed only on me.
“The sooner you confess, the sooner I stop torturing you.”
Hell, was that a promise?
She kept asking about a lot of stuff, about my memories, about important moments in my life. And I didn’t mind answering her, I swear I didn’t. Until this one particularly question came out of her mouth.
“No,” my shoulders dropped as if carrying the guilt, I felt. I gave up completely. I gave her what she wanted from me, I replied: “My heart was never broken.”
She smiled. However, she remained quiet and something in her eyes changed. I knew it, I was sure of it. Even though I wasn’t looking at her. I couldn’t do it; I couldn’t return her gaze.
Because it was the first time, I lied to her.
The silence tormented me more than her question. Out of the blue, I was the one who couldn’t stop staring at those restless waves. And only when I felt cracking underneath my hand did I realize that I should stop squeezing the saltshaker before I completely crush it.
“Can I take a picture of you?”
What?
She, the tone of her voice made me look up at her again, just to find out that she was trying to suppress a laugh.
Fuck, she was beautiful!
“You know, to see you disconcerted is definitely worth a picture.” Gosh, she really, like really had to try hard to keep the corners of those mesmerizing lips from twitching. “I´ll put a frame on it and I’ll let it stand out on a table right next to my bed.”
Huh?
Was she making fun of me?
Hell yeah! She was really making fun of me!
And the worst part was that she was right.
I was disconcerted. And pretty insecure. This weird messy feeling was new to me and no, I didn’t like it. She was searching for my eyes, I felt it, but there was seriously something wrong with me. I don’t know why; I just couldn’t return her gaze.
And she got up.
She reliably caught my attention. Now she had it all, as I got scared, she was about to leave. But she just took a good look around. I didn’t understand what she was doing, whether she was looking for something. But then I realized what her intentions were. When she approached me, when she stepped over my knees and sat on my lap, straddling me confidently.
Holy crap!
Hadn´t she any idea of how crazy she was driving me the last time she did this to me?
I understood that she didn’t want anyone else to catch us in this position, but I wasn’t afraid of it. We were sitting in the corner, completely hidden - I picked this seat on purpose to be alone with her. It hadn’t been five minutes since the waiter had brought us coffee, and I knew he wouldn’t disturb us so soon. And on the other hand, I totally didn’t care even if the world was burning right now.
Because there was more important thing that kept my head busy. My Princess was sitting on my lap. And I was quite wondering if anyone had ever explained to her what such a gesture usually does to the male population.
I mean, not that I wanted to complain. Not at all.
But I also couldn’t say that it didn’t throw me off balance. For like a thousandth time today. And she raised her tiny hands to hug my face with them. Now, I had no other choice but to face her eyes.
“Are you mad at me?” She asked quietly with a slight smile.
Damn! With that innocent expression on her face… I couldn’t be mad at her even if she sold me into slavery. I would just run away and come back to her again.
“No,” I exhaled, absolutely enchanted.
Just don’t stop touching me.
Please!
I would give anything in the world, even my Porsche, just to know what she saw in me. And then, my Princess sighed. “Gosh, I’m gonna regret this,” she said to herself, defeated. “I´m gonna regret it soooo badly.”
It made me raise my eyebrows, and I looked at her confused, trying to read at least something from her face. Some hints that would tell me what she meant by that.
In vain.
“What?” I couldn’t stand it any longer.
“Eric,” she began, and I think I got even more scared, “you’re damn handsome. There’s no point in pretending that you´re not, we both know that it is so. Your self-confidence that´s literally glowing from you for miles tells me that you´re very well aware of it. And I…, well, I have eyes. You´re so handsome that I sometimes want to cry when I´m looking at you. And then when you look at me, I lose track of time and space. You´re so much handsome that there are moments when I can’t remember what we were just talking about because by staring at you I didn’t perceive what you were telling. And when I need to think about something, I have to pull away from you to get out of your captivating influence. Because yes, you can be fucking captivating.”
My eyebrows rose higher and higher, hearing her words. Just like the corners of my mouth.
Did she really mean it?
Did she really tell me something like that right now?
“You can be so captivating,” she continued, and it was no longer fear, but the eagerness I felt, “that you could compel whatever you want. During that time, we know each other, I noticed how you affect people, how they behave around you. And that’s why I don’t get it now, I don’t understand why you’re suddenly so insecure.”
I had to try.
I really had to try whether it´s working.
I pierced her with my eyes, I looked at her inquisitively, just to see whether it was doing something to her. And right after that, I didn’t manage to hold a burst of laughter as my Princess snorted loudly. “Stop staring at me like that!” she growled.
Fuck, it works!
To say I was exulting?
Yes, like a little boy!
But there in front of me, in her eyes, I saw something that made me sober immediately.
“Dove,” I shook my head, trying to find the perfect words to answer her. To explain her my point of view without sounding like a complete jerk. “I don’t really care about my surroundings or the rest of the world more than I should. There are people whose opinion is important to me, that´s true. But except them, I don’t care what the others think of me, or what anyone thinks at all. In short, I will always arrange the things the way I like them. The way I want them to be.”
I saw her thinking about my statement, but I hadn’t said the most important thing yet. The most important thing for her to understand.
“And then there´s you,” I smiled, succumbing to the urge of tucking her hair behind her ear, of touching her neck. I found myself in paradise when she didn’t protest and let me wrap my hands around her hips.
“You don’t care about appearance. You don’t care whether anyone is too damn handsome. Even though you think so, you’ve never acted so weird as all those girls who wanted to impress me. You respect yourself, and I cherish you for that. I would never dare to treat you otherwise than with high regard. You don’t care what I look like, I don´t have the advantage of good looks when it comes to you. Nor of my captivity. That’s why I’m insecure. Because with you, I´m not able to arrange things the way I want them to be so easily. With you, I have to try fucking hard. All I have left is to try to win you over with what´s inside me. And I´m not quite sure whether that’s enough.”
Actually, I´m sure that´s not enough.
Damn!
Suddenly, I was captivated, dazed, bewitched. By the emotion that grew in her eyes. By the smile that only she could conjure up.
Simply a princess.
Period.
“My little brother,” I heard Tamara´s voice in my mind. I recalled what she´d said to me, laughing a few days ago. “You’re pretty screwed up, you know that, don’t you?”
“Excuse me? Little?” I grinned at her remark. “You still know that I practically raised you, right?” But the issue of age was irrelevant to me right now. I wanted her to give me an answer.
“If you want to win her over,” she said to me, “if you want her to fall for you, you have to find a way how to make her smile.”
And I did. My Princess smiled beautifully at me right now, after my confession. It must have been happiness that was shining from all over her face.
Well, sis, that was a great advice, indeed.
There was only one problem left.
The more she smiled, the more I was falling for her as well.
“Thank you,” she whispered, forcing me to forget about my and Tammy´s talk and return back to reality. “I appreciate it very much.”
To the fucking stunning reality where my Dove was sitting on me.
I had to do something. Anything, just so I don’t lose control and do something stupid. “Don’t thank me Dove,” I lifted the corner of my lips. “I should thank you for your compliments. You know I won’t stop reminding you of that, right?”
She exhaled heavily, muttering a few silent swear words before hiding her face in her hands. She rubbed it and then looked at me.
Holy crap!
Her damn hot, angry expression scattered my hormones in a second.
What did I want?
Not to lose control?
Funny Eric, very funny. Next time, find some more realistic resolutions. For example, to make the sea flow into rivers, to make the globe turn in the opposite direction. Something like that.
“I swear if you ever start...,” she growled. She was literally challenging me!
How could I not respond?
“Then what, Princess?” I interrupted her. I didn’t prevent myself from doing so, it wasn’t even possible as she cheekily provoked me. My hands around her hips pushed her closer to me automatically just so I could get dazed by her scent. I leaned to her, I leaned to her lips to whisper right into them: “What you´re gonna do then?”
Suddenly, it took an extreme self-restrain, all of my inner strength not to succumb the urge to kiss her again. I could still feel her taste on my lips. Hers and nobody else´s.
From the moment she let me kiss her for the first time, she became my addiction. And I was fucking too addicted to handle it. The abstinence lasted too long.
Dammit, this was unbearable!
Pure torture!
“Mmmm,” she muttered, killing me softly. Exactly at that second when she leaned to me too. When she shortened the distance between us to a minimum. When she gently ran her lips through mine.
And I was going crazy, utterly insane. I craved our clothes to disappear, I craved to hear her accelerated breathing. With a single movement I would get rid of those useless cups on the table behind us and use it for far more enticing things. Like I would lay her there and kiss every part of her body.
“Well, maybe I could…, just not wait till midnight and end your day with me right now Cinderella,” she said so sweetly that it really took me a pretty long while to realize the meaning of her words. “I noticed where the bus stop was. So maybe I could leave and not let you provoke me.”
Oh, yeah, there was only one step left and I would cross the line of my self-control. Still, it dawned on me. Everything she threatened me with made me sober in an instant.
I straightened up immediately, I took my hands off her, and looked her in the eye to see whether she meant it. I couldn’t move or even take a breath until she laughed. Only then was I able to relax properly.
That’s how my Princess had me wrapped around her finger.
She laughed when she got up, leaving my lap. She laughed as she sat back on her seat. She kept laughing as she reached for her - probably already cold – coffee.
And one look at my pants convinced me that we had time to order another one before I would be able to get up too and walk around people.
“What would you like to do tonight, Dove?” I asked, preferring to focus on the sky outside the window. I didn’t like the dark colors it was starting to change into. Twilight was upon us and I hated it. The darker it was, the less time I had left with her.
“Celebrate,” she winked. I looked at her curiously as she wiggled her eyebrows few times. “We´re gonna celebrate your birthday.”
I couldn’t help but laugh as well. Such a feeling of strange heat spread in my chest, only she could make me feel it. And everything would be okay if it didn’t start burning.
The pattern on my chest.
It burned me excessively, I was forced to rub it with my palm. I knew what it meant; it wasn’t the first time I had forgotten about the full Moon. Yet, I was surprised it started so soon.
I wanted to look at my Princess, I wanted to pay attention only to her. But instead of doing so, I froze. I completely stiffened as the flash of memory run through my mind.
“I see your future, Eric, I see you’re worth saving,” she said to me with her hand on my chest. A pattern appeared below her palm and the touch was burning like hell. As if she just ripped my skin off, and I suddenly had trouble breathing. Maybe she cursed me, I would deserve it.
“No,” she shook her head vehemently, as if she knew exactly what I was thinking. “It will protect you; it will guide you. It will lead you to her.”
I jerked as soon as I jumped back to reality. Lara was still sitting with me; she was drinking her coffee after we had souvlaki for dinner. I quickly put myself together as I didn’t want her to know that I got lost.
It looked like my memory; it really did. Yet, I couldn’t remember nothing more. When it happened, who the girl was. Actually, I couldn’t even tell if it ...
Yes, it had to happen. The pattern on my chest was clear evidence.
“Can I drive?” Lara’s voice tore me away from my thoughts.
Fuck!
The bullshit from my past had to stay in my past when my Princess was around!
“Anything you wish,” I pulled the keys from my pocket and placed them in her palm as we slowly stood up to head back home.
***
She was playing with my fucking head.
I swear to Heavens, she knew exactly what to do to drive me crazy.
I went to the main bar to pick up a bottle of Jack Daniels. I thanked Bill once again for letting us into the other room, the one where the concert was taking place back in December when Lara´s piglets were here. It was Saturday night; the pub was crowded, and I wanted to be alone with her.
But when I got back to her, I could only stand still, lean against the nearest table, and stare at her completely bewitched. Because she was dancing to a song that was playing from a jukebox and the way she moved...
Let’s just say I haven’t felt so alive in a long time.
Her hair was falling on her back, and I just wished I could press her against me. She didn’t need heels or a short skirt to look sexy. She was wearing only a sweatshirt and jeans, yet I had never seen anything hotter. I could read millions of books, but not even they all didn’t develop my imagination as much as she did now. I could stare at her for just a second, and I still would be able to find thousands of things that were bringing me to my knees.
I just wanted to watch. I desired to look at her all night. Or till the end of the world. Nothing more.
But she returned my gaze.
“Did you bring me Jack?” She smiled as she approached me, not waiting for an answer. She took it straight from my hands to press it to her lips.
Damn her lips…!
I got more drunk from the girl in front of me that from the forty percent alcohol that kept us company. My Princess alone already looked a little bit merry. I kinda hoped it would affect her slightly when she would make the decision about what would happen with us next. The hands of clock were slowly approaching eleven and I was getting scared.
“Thank you, Dove,” I returned her smile. “For a beautiful day and beautiful evening.”
Her expression softened as she leaned to me. “Happy birthday, Eric,” she whispered.
And I wasn’t able to manage to endure it. Her scent simply drew me to her, there was nothing I could do about it. I leaned to her too.
“What are you doing?” She tensed, yet it was more of a curiosity I found in her eyes. Or maybe a little suspicion.
“What?” I pretended to be surprised. “I don’t get a birthday kiss?”
The corners of her mouth twitched, but I meant it! Because hell, it was the only thing I thought about all afternoon.
Her little fingers touched my chin and then she pulled me close. I followed her obediently, I let her bow me to her and she pressed a kiss to my cheek. Not exactly what I had in mind, but better than nothing.
I took her into my arms because…, well, do I need a reason to do that? I just couldn’t get enough of her; I couldn’t stop hugging her. Not when I finally was allowed to. And she wrapped her arms around me as well. It occurred to me that I might ask what she planned to do with me after midnight. However, I got stuck at that moment when she looked up at me.
“I think your phone’s vibrating,” she narrowed her eyes at me.
Dammit! That wasn’t what I wanted to hear.
I refused to let her go as I pulled it out of my pocket. I had already some missed calls, but I couldn’t care less. However, I couldn’t refuse my beloved sister, who was calling me right now.
“What’s up, Tammy?” I picked it up.
“Eric,” she began and that was it. She only addressed me, yet I knew immediately that something was wrong. “You need to say goodbye to Lara and come home. Leroy is on his way here.”
I froze hearing her words, I froze after what she told me. I didn’t like any of it, I didn’t like that the asshole was about to ruin my evening. And most of all, I hated that my Princess heard it as well. I felt her freeze in my arms too.
I couldn’t let her hear more; I couldn’t let my world affect her again. I stepped away from her, trying to apologize, and then I turned away so I wouldn’t have to face her. At least until I end this call with Tamara.
“He was looking for you,” she continued. “And when he didn’t reach you, he called Will.”
Fuck!
Really?
“How much time do I have?” I asked the only thing I was interested in right now.
“An hour at most.”
“Sis, could you please call me once again? I don’t have time to watch the hours. I have other things to do now.”
Like convincing princesses of another chances.
I heard the long sigh on the phone, yet she laughed right after that: “Alright, Romeo. I’ll call you when the high time to stop standing under the balcony comes.”
I knew she would understand, I knew she would help me. I had an hour left, only one hour, and I was fucking going to make best of it.
I took a deep breath as I ended the call, trying to prepare for what awaited me. I had no idea what to tell my Princess how to explain it to her. All I knew was that it wouldn’t be easy. I turned back to look at her, to apologize. And there was only one problem left.
I didn’t find her anywhere.
I hoped she might be somewhere at the front bar, but a brief glance at a table where she’d put her jacket off, and where no jacket was lying now, very quickly threw me out of my cloud back to hell. My Princess was gone.
And I couldn’t describe anything I felt. I couldn’t stop the anger that was slowly overwhelming me. Until it completely engulfed me.
Or maybe it wasn’t anger at all.
Maybe I just felt fear.
Because she ran away from me without saying a word.
🙕🙕🙕