Chapter 270
Chapter 270
“Just briefly,” Kent murmurs, grabbing my left hand and pulling it to his mouth, kissing my knuckles like a prince and then turning my hand over and starting to drag kisses up the length
of my forearm. “Not as long as it’s been on your hand, even,
he murmurs against my skin, trying to distract me. “A youthful mistake.”
“Mistake!” I cry, aghast, ignoring the tingles on my skin where Kent has placed his lips. “Kent, you loved her.”
Kent looks up at me seriously, then. “I thought I did,” he replies, lifting my arm and pulling it forward to loop it around his neck, where he wants it. “Natalia was…light and fire, so alive and passionate in comparison to Lenai’s cool disdain. I… misunderstood how she made me feel. I thought it was love.” Kent hesitates and then shrugs. “It’s complicated, Fay. And it was a long time ago.”
I study him for a moment and then nod, not pressing him any further. He’ll tell me if he wants me to know. Otherwise, I can press Daniel for more information if I need it.
“Either way,” Kent smoothly moves on, a little smile coming to his lips now as he nods to the book of military strategy that’s fallen on the bed next to me. “There are ways to counter her, Fay. She’s not smarter, or more powerful, or better supplied
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with resources than you. If she’s walking all over you, Fay, it is because you’re letting her.”
I open my mouth to protest but then I realize that Kent is just saying to me precisely what I thought to myself, tonight, when Natalia caught me with Ivan. Right before I told her to shove it, which was one of the more satisfying moments of my life. Slowly, I close my mouth, thinking, and then I look back at Kent.
“All right,” I say. “So what do I do?”
“You study,” he says, reaching out to tap the book. “And you plan. And you learn her moves, and figure out ways to counter them.”
I cock my head to the side, considering this. That I’ve…never quite thought, concretely, about making a larger plan regarding how I move through Kent’s world, four or five steps ahead rather than just one or two. So far, I’ve mostly been acting on impulse – and it’s worked, as far as it goes.
But what would happen if…
Suddenly eager to get started, I drop my arm from Kent’s neck and reach for the book –
But before I can grab it, he swats it out of my reach.
“No,” Kent groans, laying down and pulling me on top of him. “Start tomorrow. Tonight is for sleep.” I glance at the clock and laugh, realizing that it’s nearly one in the morning. “You’re
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exhausted, we’re exhausted. For one day…” he sighs as I settle against him, my head on his chest, “it’s enough.”
“Okay,” I agree, closing my eyes and finding myself yawning a little bit, realizing that he’s right. Even if my mind is on fire to begin strategizing, my body is ready to sleep.
A few minutes pass and I feel Kent’s breathing soften, hear his heartbeat slow.
But I can’t help myself as my mind continues to turn.
“Kent,” I whisper, nuzzling my face a little against his warm chest. “Can I ask you something?”
“No,” he murmurs, laughing a tired little laugh. “You get six thousand questions each day, Fay, and today, as usual, you’ve used them all up.”
But I smile and press on anyway, ignoring him. “Kent,” I ask, “if Natalia was light and fire, and Lenai was cool distain…what am
I?”
“Irritating,” he grumbles. “Loud. Awake, when you should be asleep.”
I laugh, shaking my head, but not really bothered. It wasn’t a fair question anyway. I know that I’ll never be on Lenai’s level
can never be. She was his first and only love. As I think it, something twists low in me – but I push the feeling away, not letting myself address it.
Chapter 270
And then I close my eyes, ready for sleep, and am surprised when Kent raises a hand, bringing it up to gently stroke his fingers down the length of my hair.
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“My refuge, Fay,” Kent answers, his words hardly more than a whisper. “You’re peace.”