Fairydale: A Dark Gothic Fantasy Romance

I drop to the ground, the field of wildflowers cushioning my fall, the light scent of grass, moss, and nature filling my nostrils.

‘That’s absolutely stunning, love,’ Amon murmurs as he comes closer.

His sketchbook in hand, he lets his eyes roam over my form, my white gown in contrast with the deep purple of the flowers.

‘You must join me after you’re done,’ I giggle as I pat the spot next to me.

‘Then I must hurry so I can be by your side,’ he winks playfully at me.

Wielding his pencil with expert precision, he starts sketching me in the field.

The sun is shining bright in the sky, a light breeze brushing my skin as I lay back and pose for him.

It’s something I’ll never tire of doing, even though our house overflows with all the artworks Amon has produced with me as the main subject.

Since moving to this world, he’s taken his interest in art more seriously, always searching to learn and improve himself, just as I’ve done with medicine and healing plants.

From the beginning, we’d known we couldn’t afford to stay in a place for a long time due to the fact that we don’t grow old like the people in this world do. So we’ve taken to moving to a new place every couple decades or so, only returning to the same place after a few generations have passed.

It has been a way for us to escape suspicion with the locals, but also to avoid being tracked by the Empire.

We’d been wrong to think that we wouldn’t be followed here or that the Empire will simply let us live our lives in peace.

As we’d found out, time flows differently in the two worlds. Whereas we’ve been here for a few thousands of years already, in Arkgor, barely a few decades have passed. Certainly not enough for people to forget about Amon.

If anything, his reputation has grown to such an extent that there are now cults worshiping him in the Empire, all because they believe he is still alive and will come back at some point to challenge the Emperor and take the mantle of leadership.

But the more people love Amon and his legacy, the harder it is for the current Emperor to keep his territories under control. Already a few have rebelled, with more fostering the same intention.

Given the state of the Empire, they need to show Amon is dead, publicly—as they’d attempted the first time—in order to squash any type of dissenting sentiment from the populace.

My mother had been the only one to know about Amon’s Reva heritage and she’d never told anyone about it, most likely hoping for a stupefying surprise during the execution.

We’d only realized that when we first encountered Kress and Finn, Amon’s former friends who’d betrayed him, and had been sent over to this world to track him. They had no idea about his heritage, otherwise they would have spread that rumor to squash some of the resistance.

In a way, that is unfortunate for us, since it means they will continually hunt for us and we might never know a moment of peace.

Yet against all odds, we’ve made a life for ourselves.

Sometimes we work to keep ourselves occupied, though we try to keep interactions with humans to a minimum.

We’ve messed up too many times by getting involved with humans to know that a close relationship can only result in disaster. Especially since in this world, there aren’t many people who possess powers or special abilities. Most are normal. But they all hunger for power in a way that we hadn’t encountered even in the Empire.

When we arrived in this world, there had been a few established kingdom states. At the time we’d settled in Egypt during the Old Kingdom, enjoying the culture and the freedom of movement.

In the beginning, it had been easy to be ourselves as we hadn’t known what the rules of this world were. We continued as before, using our powers indiscriminately. When people noted our abilities, they thought us gods, which in turn made us the central figures of their cults.

It might have been amusing at the start. Particularly for Amon who developed a friendship with quite a few pharaohs and advised them on military issues.

But like all other endeavors, that came to a stop when Kress and Finn discovered us for the first time by tracking our power signatures with sorcery.

Since then, we’ve become more careful with using our abilities in any way that could draw attention to ourselves and invite Kress and Finn into our lives again.

That isn’t to say that we haven’t been happy. We have.

We’ve started to work like regular humans. Amon alternates between using his military knowledge to work as an advisor, and taking commissions for his art—although he only does male figures. He’d told me from the beginning that I would be the only female he’d ever draw, paint or sculpt—not that I’m complaining since I’m a little too possessive of him to share him even for the sake of art.

I usually keep to medicine and healing plants, though depending on the place, being female prevents me from openly practicing my craft.

This world has a great deal of plants that were not available in Arkgor, and I found it absolutely fascinating to travel the world and keep a record of those plants—thus creating my own botanical dictionary.

Yet there’s always something missing. Something that’s been the source of many contentious arguments between me and Amon.

I can’t get pregnant.

We’ve been together, in this world, for more than two thousand years and I still cannot get pregnant.

We’d suspected my mother had done something to me in our last confrontation, but we’d only realized, years later, that I could not conceive at all. The fact that my monthly courses had stopped altogether should have been our first sign, but we’d continued to be hopeful until we couldn’t ignore the truth any longer—I am barren.

Amon, the sweetheart that he is, continues to tell me that it’s fine if we never have children. That it will be just the two of us, and for him that is sufficient.

But I know it’s not.

I can see the longing in his eyes when we spot a family on a walk out, or when we witness a christening, as is the custom with this new religion everyone’s embraced. I can see the desire to be a father in his gaze, and I know it echoes the one I have in my heart.

I’ve been alone my entire life before he came along, and after I met him, I dared to believe that we would eventually have a family and we’d be blessed with children. Maybe not as many as I would have wished, but at least one or two.

To know that we haven’t and that we’ll never have that causes me unspeakable pain.

More than anything, it hurts to realize that despite not being alone, sometimes I feel…lonely. And that is completely unfair to Amon since he gives me absolutely all of himself.

Yet I can’t stop from feeling that—from being unfulfilled despite attempting to live life to the fullest.

Maybe in the first hundred years this issue wasn’t as pervasive, as we were still in the effusive honeymoon stage. But slowly, the issue began to pain me so much until it started intervening in our relationship.

Amon tries his best to make me happy and fill the gap of not having a big family. And I love him for that—I adore him. And I don’t have the heart to tell him that the gap will never be filled—that it’s going to grow, increasingly, with each passing year.

And yet…he knows. Of course he knows. After all, sometimes he knows me better than I know myself. At first, he’d tried to make up for it with gifts and other attentions. The field of flowers I’m lying in is a testament of that.

One day, without telling me, he’d faced the dangers of returning to Arkgor to get the purple flower I’d loved so much, and he’d planted it all around Europe in an effort to make me happy.

But he hadn’t stopped there.

He’d continued to search for ways to help me, even going as far as infiltrating a group of people with special abilities from the Byzantine Empire, attending their meetings and learning their secrets in an attempt to find a way to help me.

After all, sorcery had caused me to be barren, so sorcery should be the answer.

And as we’d come to realize, the sorcery in this world is compatible with the one in Arkgor. The answer is always in a person’s energy. That is the basis of everything. The manifestation of sorcery is simply the intention one has when channeling their energy. Yet despite the simplicity of the concept, there’s always a price to be paid, especially for more difficult spells. If you attempt something that’s far beyond your capabilities, it could drain your energy and kill you.

With my energy levels, however, I believe that if I learn how to channel my energy to undo the spell, I would be able to do it.

And that is how we’ve come to be in Ravenna at this time.

Ambrosius, one of the people whom Amon had befriended, had asked us to come to his residence as he’d promised to look into my problem.

We’d met him around twenty years ago in Rome at a meeting and we’d corresponded throughout the years. Recently, however, he’d announced that he may have a solution and he’d invited us to come over.

In fact, after our little session, we’re going to meet with him.

‘Done,’ Amon tells me as he plops down next to me, showing me his sketch.

‘I love it,’ I whisper as I scoot closer to him. ‘You captured me perfectly. As you always do.’

‘You’re in a good mood today,’ he raises a brow as he notes my smile.

‘I have a good feeling about this, Amon. I don’t know why, but I think Ambrosius might be our hope.’

‘He’s the only one powerful enough to attempt it,’ Amon agrees. ‘I just… I don’t want you to be too disappointed if this doesn’t work. We’re not going to give up. If I have to go back to Arkgor and find someone to undo the spell, I will do it.’

‘Ah, Amon, you’re too precious,’ I whisper as I place my head on his chest.

His arms come to rest around my waist as he keeps me close to his body.

‘I just hope Kress and Finn won’t find us for a while. At least not until we do this.’

‘If they do, I’ll find a way to kill them. Maybe Ambrosius can help me neutralize those damn shields of theirs.’

‘More and more people are practicing sorcery in Arkgor. Shouldn’t that worry us?’

He grunts.

‘Under the new Emperor, it’s been made completely legal. When I was last there, I heard he planned on creating schools specifically for that.’

‘But why? Aren’t there enough people with innate abilities already? Why support sorcery when you have a much better alternative? Especially since people are giving their lives in search of power.’

‘You know why,’ he purses his lips. ‘The majority of those who have innate abilities are from non-humanoid species. This is the only way the empire could foster more power without compromising their purist values.’

‘The new Emperor sounds utterly appalling,’ I grumble.

‘They’ve already imposed new laws on some long-living species, coincidentally also non-humanoid, prohibiting them from having more than one child.’

‘What? That’s preposterous.’

He nods.

‘He wants to ensure that with each generation, they become fewer and fewer. Either there will be a mass-exodus out of the Empire, or they will rebel.’

‘The Emperor will never risk them moving away, though. That would mean power in the hands of the enemy.’

‘Precisely. And I fear that will lead to a third option.’

‘Genocide,’ I whisper.

His expression is grim as he agrees.

‘Either they are under the Empire’s control or not at all. And with how intolerant people have become since all criminal acts are blamed on non-humanoid species, I can see them turning a blind eye if it’s happening.’

‘I’m so happy we’re not there anymore.’

‘If before the Empire could be considered a stratocracy, since the old Emperor was a military man himself and welcomed counsel, now it’s become a draconian autocracy under the leadership of a madman.’

‘Do you wish we’d stayed behind and fought?’ I ask tentatively.

We’d discussed this before since I can tell Amon is sympathetic to the cause of the non-humanoid species. Yet every time he’d assured me he was fine as he was with me.

But…

Sometimes I wonder if he’s not doing everything for me while neglecting his own wants.

What about his purpose? His goals?

I’m always afraid he sacrificed himself for my sake—because he was afraid he’d put me in danger if we stayed behind.

Just like the gap in my heart due to our childlessness, I wonder if there is not one in his heart because he’s letting everyone who’s putting their hopes in him down.

‘Never,’ he answers immediately, as he usually does. ‘I would never put you in danger just to fulfill some ego campaign.’

‘But you know I’m quite invincible,’ I joke.

‘You might not die, Sela. But you can hurt. Even worse. You can hurt forever. To imagine you in pain once is already too much for my feeble mind. To think that someone could torture you forever?’ he shakes his head.

‘Wouldn’t you wish you were there, though? Offering people direction and helping them escape from under that tyrant? You know they’re waiting for you…’ I trail off when I feel him stiffen.

It’s not the first time he’s been made slightly uncomfortable by the topic. Whenever we talk about non-humanoid species or his Reva heritage, I’ve always had the vague impression that he’s been holding back on me. Yes, we might talk about it, but it’s never in depth, and he usually brushes off his own struggles in favor of light-hearted banter. And that worries me. Since that time in Arkgor, I’ve never seen him assume his full Reva form again. He might use some of the complementary abilities at times, but he’s never once tried to change again.

Why?

Odd how I’ve never given that too much thought before, content to accept what he gave me of himself without questioning it.

‘When I married you, I told you that I would rather be a husband to you above everything else. Above glory, or power, or my reputation. I renounced everything the moment I made a vow to you, Sela mina. And that is the only vow that matters.’

Stubborn male.

He’s never going to admit such a thing to me, is he?

I scrunch my nose in annoyance as I nuzzle my face in the material of his tunic.

Well, I guess I will wear him down eventually. I don’t want to be the only one to get my wish. Even if it takes us another thousand years, in Arkgor only a handful of years would have passed. He would still be able to act then if he so wishes.

Maybe at some point he will admit that he does want all those things.

And I, just like he’s done for me from the beginning, will support him wholeheartedly when he decides to pursue them.

My Amon is meant for greatness, and I know he will achieve it in the future.

We stay like that until the weather becomes rather unpleasant and we decide we’ve had enough for one day. As we get home to our small domus, we take a shower and get ready to pay a visit to Ambrosius.

‘Sela, Amon. Welcome,’ Ambrosius says as he welcomes us to his home, inviting us into his grand hall. ‘I’m so happy to see you here.’

‘We thank you for the invitation and for your efforts, Ambrosius,’ Amon tilts his head in acknowledgement.

‘Nonsense. This will be a good learning opportunity for me. Please take a seat while my servant will bring you something to eat and we can discuss further.’

‘Thank you,’ I murmur as Amon and I take a seat on one of his plush couches.

Amon’s arm is wrapped around my shoulders in a possessive display—as he usually does whenever there’s another male around. I doubt he’s going to let go of me the entire night.

Giving him a small smile, I squeeze his hand in a gesture of comfort just as he brings his lips to my temple for a kiss.

Ambrosius takes a seat opposite us as a servant comes in to bring a few trays of food and fresh fruit.

A man in his late fifties, Ambrosius has been learning sorcery since his youth. In this world, however, it’s called witchcraft, but humans do not seem to have a solid understanding of how some people can wield it while others cannot.

At the same time, the people who have been studying it for centuries have put together protocols and have compiled lists of spells which, hopefully, might help us too.

‘It’s been so long since I last saw you two and you look absolutely the same,’ Ambrosius shakes his head. ‘Then here I am, a couple of decades later and I have a head full of gray hair. If I hadn’t met you before I would have never suspected such a thing was possible.’

‘I doubt we’re the only ones,’ Amon smiles. ‘We’ve met some other people throughout the years who displayed a more than average life span.’

‘You’ll have to teach me your secrets then,’ he chuckles.

Amon smiles.

‘There is no secret. At least not in our case. My kind is known for having an increased lifespan while my wife can regenerate ab infinitum,’ he explains.

We’d had discussions on how much we could share with Ambrosius about our situation, and I’d encouraged Amon to give him as many details as possible since he might be able to help us better if he understands the source of our powers.

After the events in the past, we’d always been worried about sharing too much, but I think Ambrosius is the exception.

‘Your kind?’ Ambrosius blinks. ‘I wasn’t aware you were a different…kind,’ he says. His tone, however, is not one of disgust, but one filled with curiosity.

That prompts Amon to smile at him and explain his Reva heritage. And to display it better, he turns his hand into a sword—another perk of his matter manipulation that he’d learned to use.

Being away from the Empire’s scrutiny had allowed Amon to explore more of his Reva side and discover all kinds of abilities. I’d repeatedly told him that I still don’t think he’s reached his peak and that there are plenty more things he can do.

‘That is…’ Ambrosius trails off, his eyes wide. ‘Quite spectacular and terrifying.’

‘Amon likes to joke that he is a war machine, but deep down he’s just a softie,’ I wink at my husband.

‘What about you then? How is it that you can regenerate like that? Are you a different kind, too?’

‘To my knowledge, no. It’s been like this since I was born.’

‘So, you are practically immortal?’

‘I think so,’ I laugh.

If my body regenerates continuously, then it will do so forever.

‘But your husband is…not?’ He turns to Amon. ‘I know you said you have an increased life-span, but that doesn’t mean forever, does it?’

‘In our case it does,’ he smiles. ‘We are mated in my tradition, and through blood exchange, her power is mine, too.’

Ambrosius nods pensively.

‘But you see, despite my healing ability, I was still cursed,’ I interject. ‘It’s quite paradoxical that I’m able to withstand any type of death and still heal, but I cannot heal from this one spell.’

‘Tell me more about this curse you speak off.’

I swallow hard.

‘It was my mother. She…reached inside of me and I could feel her fingers probing in my womb. She took something out too, but I do not know what, only that since then we haven’t been able to conceive.’

Ambrosius looks pensive for a moment.

‘Will you allow me to examine you?’

Sensing Amon tense, I turn to him for approval. He gives me a brisk nod.

‘I’ll be watching,’ he murmurs in my ear.

‘Do not worry. I do not need to touch her for this,’ Ambrosius chuckles when he sees Amon’s tight expression.

All at once, he relaxes a little.

Silly male.

‘If you could stand up,’ Ambrosius instructs me, taking a book from his collection and searching for something in it.

With his finger on the page, he waves his hand towards me.

‘Revelare.‘

At once, there’s a blinding light coming from my lower stomach before I feel a searing pain. Blood oozes through the material of my tunic, and I know that something has appeared on my skin.

‘Sela,’ Amon is immediately to his feet as he comes to my side.

‘I think there’s something etched in my skin…’ I trail off.

‘I’ll step outside for a moment. Here’s ink and paper to write what you see. You might want to do it fast in case it disappears.’

‘Thank you.’

Ambrosius steps outside and Amon lifts my tunic to reveal my stomach.

There are three letters embedded there. R K W.

They quickly disappear though as my skin starts to heal, and after I put myself together, we call Ambrosius in the room again, showing him what we’d seen.

He taps his finger against his chin as he studies the letters.

‘I’m afraid this will require a very advanced spell.’

‘What do you mean?’ I frown.

‘These letters suggest that whatever your mother did to you wasn’t a matter of stealing something from your womb. Rather, she blocked a few sources of energy in your body that were instrumental for fertility and conception. I had a feeling it would be this after we corresponded, but this is my confirmation.’

‘Can you do something about it?’ Amon asks, his voice tinged with hope.

‘I think so,’ he nods. ‘I will need to journey to the Holy See and borrow one of their old books on spell-casting to be able to do it.’

‘How can we help?’ I ask quickly.

‘You don’t need to do anything. I will get the book and we will perform the ritual at the end of the month. Does that work for you two?’

I stare at him open-mouthed.

That’s it? He doesn’t need anything?

‘Do you not require anything? You need to let us pay you for your services,’ Amon intervenes. ‘Tell us what you’d like as payment and you will have it.’

‘No, really. I do not require anything. Just knowing I can help someone is more than enough. After all, I’ve dedicated my entire life to the doctrine of Jesus Christ, and that dictates that I help those in need if I can.’

‘There must be something you could use,’ Amon insists.

My hand finds his as I show him I’m right by his side with my touch.

‘Please, just tell us what you’d like. We have plenty of wealth, or artifacts, or anything you desire. I can make it happen.’

Of course my Amon would never feel good being indebted to someone.

‘Artifacts?’ Ambrosius’ eyes suddenly sparkle with greed at that mention.

‘We’ve lived for a long time, so we’ve amassed quite the collection. I know the Church values Christian artifacts and I have a few that might interest you,’ Amon explains.

‘Can you tell me more?’ Ambrosius inquires, his hands fidgeting in his lap.

Somehow, that gesture seems so antithetical to what we know of him—a calm and learned man of letters who’s dedicated his entire life to the Church.

‘Would you be interested in a cross that belonged to Petros, the first bishop of Antioch. It is my understanding he is a revered figure in your faith?’

There have been times in the past when certain events have tugged at our heartstrings in such a way that we couldn’t help ourselves from getting involved. Usually that is when we witness egregious injustices or shameless persecutions such as the one Christians have withstood a few hundred years back.

Whenever we lent a helping hand, we were given a little something in return. Most of the time, it was something materially worthless but entirely too precious for a person.

That is how most of those artifacts had been acquired, including Petros’ cross.

Ambrosius blinks in shock.

‘You mean St. Peter?’

‘The one and the same. We met him once in Asia Minor. He was a very kind man.’

‘If it’s not too much to ask…’ he stammers, though his eyes are gleaming with desire.

‘It is yours,’ Amon smiles. ‘What you’re willing to do for us is priceless, Ambrosius. If I can ever help you with anything else, then please let me know.’

‘That’s very thoughtful of you,’ Ambrosius inclines his head.

‘No, on the contrary. You’re a good friend for attempting to help us with an advanced spell.’

‘Yes, thank you so much, Ambrosius.’

‘What is this book of spells, if I may inquire?’

‘It’s one of the treasures of the Holy See and it contains the strongest spells inside,’ Ambrosius relates. ‘Only high officials have access to it.’

‘And you’re sure you can acquire it?’

‘Yes,’ he confirms.

We set the date of the ritual for the next full moon, which falls at the end of the month. Ambrosius tells us to come back to his house for it.

‘Oh, Amon. It’s finally happening,’ I whisper when we finally get back to our house.

‘Yes,’  he nods, though he doesn’t seem convinced.

‘What is it, love? You’re frowning.’

‘I couldn’t read his mind. At all.’

‘Well, it’s bound to happen with these people. They have been training their entire lives,’ I reply.

‘I don’t know. Everything seems…too easy,’ he sighs as he takes a seat. ‘I’m sorry, I don’t want to ruin your happiness, it’s just that I’m not convinced.’

‘Why?’

I take a seat across from him, searching his features.

‘How many other such people have we encountered before, Sela? And they’ve never been able to give us anything. Everyone who examined you said it was beyond their abilities to solve it. They couldn’t even recognize the type of spell it was.’

‘Yes, but maybe Ambrosius is much stronger than that.’

‘He’s still using a spell from the same book that’s been gathering dust in the Vatican Library for hundreds of years. You know exactly the one I speak of. We’ve read it before, together, and we didn’t find anything that could help us.’

‘I think we should trust Ambrosius, Amon. He seems to know exactly what’s wrong with me. How many others told us that the issue is with my energy points? That they need to be unblocked.’

‘No one,’ he grumbles.

‘See. I’m sure he knows what he’s about. If it doesn’t work, then we’ll try something else in the future. But if it does work… If it works,’ I lick my lips as I look at him, tears accumulating at the corner of my eyes. ‘We’ll have a child, Amon. Our child,’ I whisper.

‘Sela,’ he lets out a pained groan. ‘My darling Sela,’ he murmurs as he draws me into his arms. ‘You’re right. I shouldn’t question it too much. I apologize. I’m just used to second-guessing everything these days.’

‘I know. But Ambrosius has been nothing but kind to us.’

‘So he has,’ he agrees. ‘You know I can’t help but doubt everyone I can’t read. But that is my fault and I accept it. I’ll try to not let my worries get in the way of this plan.’

‘Thank you. I have a really good feeling about this. Here,’ I say as I bring his hand to my heart. ‘Something tells me we’re going to succeed this time, Amon.’

‘If you feel so then it must be so. I trust your judgment, Sela.’

For the rest of the month, we try to occupy our time as best as we can while trying not to get our hopes up too much. Yet it’s hard to do that when my gut feeling tells me this is it.

Ambrosius is going to make my biggest dream come true.

Though Amon persists in being a little skeptical of Ambrosius, he does his best to support me. And a few days before we’re due for the ritual, he tells me he has a surprise for me.

‘What is it?’ I ask, my lips trembling with the urge to smile as he blindfolds me and leads me to one of our storage rooms.

‘You’ll see. I wanted to apologize for my paranoia and show you that I’m here for you, every step of the way.’

‘You’re keeping me on my toes, Amon. What is it?’

‘Come,’ he chuckles as he closes the door behind us.

Slowly undoing the blindfold, he lets it fall to the ground as I take in the item in front of me.

‘You…’ my voice breaks as my emotions get the best of me. ‘You did this?’

He nods, watching me closely to determine my reaction.

‘Oh, Amon. I love it,’ I whisper.

He’d built a baby crib from scratch, and had carved traditional Vissirian figures along the edges.

‘It’s wonderful.’

‘If you trust this is going to work, then so do I,’ he assures me.

‘You’re the best,’ I whisper as I turn to him, cupping his face in my hands and rising myself on the tips of my toes to lay a kiss on his lips. ‘So many years, Amon, and I love you more and more with every day that passes. You know that, don’t you?’

He gives me a tight nod.

‘Even if we have a child, my love for you will never be less.’

‘Sela… How could you say that? I would never be jealous of my own child.’

‘Good,’ I chuckle. ‘But I still wanted you to know that no one can replace you in my heart. There is a part that is reserved solely for you, my love.’

A day before the ritual my anticipation grows into restlessness and Amon takes me to a market to get some new gowns that I could wear for the ceremony.

We have a wonderful day together as we explore the inner city, eating at a tavern and touring some of the attractions in Ravenna.

And then, before I know it, the day of the full moon is upon us.

‘I’m so excited,’ I whisper to Amon as we make our way to Ambrosius’ house.

‘I know you are, lass,’ he chuckles. ‘It’s going to be one of the most memorable moments in our lives.’

‘It will,’ I agree.

A tingling surrounds my entire being as I think about the future, renews optimism filling me as I see myself, Amon and our child together. I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but maybe…maybe we’ll have more than one child.

‘Welcome, welcome,’ Ambrosius invites us into his sitting room. ‘I’ve prepared everything for tonight and I have no doubts that it’s going to be a complete success,’ he assures us—exactly what I needed to hear to burst with happiness.

‘What does this spell involve?’ Amon asks and I give him the side eye.

Ambrosius must know what he’s doing. We shouldn’t question him too much.

But he doesn’t seem to mind as he invites us to take a look at a linen paper.

‘This is the ritual,’ he points out to a passage that looks more or less like gibberish to me. ‘The Holy See wouldn’t allow me to take the book out of the Vatican Library, but I was able to copy the ritual onto this,’ he explains.

‘First, I’m going to tap into all her energy points and activate them to their fullest before I will attempt to awaken the closed ones, too. In essence, I am cleaning and restarting your energy meridians, extracting the bad energy that your mother infused with her spell.’

‘That sounds logical,’ I nod, looking at Amon to find him regarding Ambrosius with narrowed eyes.

‘Is there any danger to this?’ Amon asks.

‘No. She might feel a little weak after I perform the ritual, but she should quickly recover.’

‘Weak? Why?’ Amon further probes.

I give him a slight pinch, but he ignores me.

‘The restart will likely be a shock to her system,’ Ambrosius explains. ‘It will take at least a few days for her system to recover.’

‘Thank you for explaining. We can go ahead when you’re ready. Right, Amon?’ I give him a pointed look.

‘Yes. We can go forward with it,’ he strains a smile.

‘Excuse us for a moment,’ I tell Ambrosius as I drag Amona aside.

‘What’s wrong?’ I bite my lip as I ask him.

‘I don’t like this—that you’re going to be weak. That it might harm you.’

‘He said it won’t harm me, Amon. It’s just natural that my energy needs to reset after the ritual. What he said makes sense.’

‘It might, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.’

‘But you’ll take care of me when I’m weak and helpless, won’t you?’ I bat my lashes at him.

‘Of course,’ he murmurs lovingly. ‘You know I’d do everything for you, my darling Sela,’ he whispers as he leans in to kiss my forehead.

His lips linger for a moment too long but I soak in his touch as I try to let go of some of my anxiety.

This is it. This is the moment that will change our lives forever.

‘Let’s do this,’ he finally says.

Bringing my hand to his cheek, I stroke him lightly as I take in his beautiful features, made even more so by the love reflected in his eyes.

‘Thank you for supporting my decision, Amon. It means the world to me,’ I confess.

I know how skeptical and scared he is about this. But even though he’s been restless all the time leading up to today, he hasn’t tried to persuade me off again. He’d simply been by my side regardless of his own doubts. And that means more to me than he could ever imagine.

‘You don’t have to ever thank me for something like this, Sela. As long as it makes you happy, I’m willing to do anything,’ he gives me another kiss before we return to Ambrosius’ side.

‘We can proceed,’ I tell the older man.

‘Good,’ he nods. Turning to address Amon, he continues. ‘Just like before, I won’t have to touch her,’ he assures him, undoubtedly having noticed how rabid he gets when there’s even a hint of someone getting too close to me.

‘If you could tell me what I have to do.’

‘You can lay on the couch there,’ he points to a seat. ‘I will simply chant the ritual and use my powers to open your energy meridians at first. Then, I will cleanse the foul spell and I will reset everything. There might be physical residue manifested from the bad energy. If that is the case, please do not be scared.’

‘That’s fine.’

‘Your husband can sit by your side, but he cannot touch you either, otherwise the spell might fail.’

Amon nods.

I take a seat on the couch, laying on my back and placing my hands by my side.

Ambrosius brings two chairs—one for himself, which he positions in front of the couch, and one for Amon, which he places at the end of the couch.

‘I’m here all the way, sweet girl,’ Amon murmurs as he takes his seat.

Knowing he is by my side is all I need to feel fully safe.

‘I’ll be starting now,’ Ambrosius announces. ‘But first. Sela, please give your consent to the ritual. This can only be done with your acquiescence.’

‘I consent to the ritual,’ I murmur.

Once that is out of the way, Ambrosius gets to work.

His voice is soft and barely audible as he holds his hand over my body, a bluish glow emanating from his palm. His hand hovers over me, starting with my head and moving down my body all the way down to my feet.

Immediately, I start to feel lightheaded as my body tenses inexplicably.

It’s as if something is being forcefully opened inside of me.

Like when I channel my energy for my own use, my body tingles all over as hot points appear at various locations in my body, the heat almost unbearable.

Still, I hold everything in. After all, I am used to pain and can withstand a great deal of it.

‘Your meridians have been opened, Sela. Now it is time to cleanse the bad energy. This should be the most painful part. Please bear it for me,’ Ambrosius instructs.

I give him a tight nod.

‘I’m here,’ Amon whispers, barely holding himself from touching me and ruining the ritual.

As Ambrosius shifts to the second part of the ritual, the pain becomes stronger, and all of it concentrates in my chest, right over my heart. My skin becomes so hot, I feel like I’m going to pass out from it.

I do my best to breathe in and out to withstand it, but it doesn’t help much.

The burning sensation increases until it feels like someone is reaching within my body and forcefully pulling my soul out.

A whimper escapes my lips as a small area just above my breast becomes so heated, a shape sears itself on my skin before something attempts to get out of me.

My eyes flare open in shock at the sensation.

Gods, but it really feels as if someone is pulling my heart out of my chest.

Yet I bear it.

‘The bad energy is coming to the surface,’ Ambrosius tells me. ‘Just a little more and I’ll be able to remove it from you,’ he assures me.

That thought alone is what keeps me going, pushing all the pain down as I focus on the future we will have with our new family.

This pain is nothing compared to the joy we’ll know in the future.

My skin breaks as something pops out of me, a loud sound permeating the air before the pain suddenly dulls.

‘That’s it. I’ll now take it,’ Ambrosius speaks, his eyes on Amon to gauge his reaction.

Amon nods, and Ambrosius reaches out to take something resembling a jewel from my chest.

‘This is the bad energy your body has expelled. I will keep it and dispose of it properly,’ he says in a matter-of-fact tone as he slips the jewel in his pocket. ‘Now for the reset.’

His hand is back to work as he chants the same words of before.

My body is languid, and I can barely feel my strength.

When he is done, I can’t even say thank you because the action requires energy that I do not have.

‘She needs rest now,’ he tells Amon. ‘She should be fine in a week or so. If she is not, come see me. But only after a week.’

Amon grits his teeth as he gives a nod of assent.

Gathering me in his arms, he teleports us back to our home.

‘Sela…’ he breathes out harshly as he strokes my hair. ‘You look so pale and sickly, my love. How are you feeling?’

‘A-alright,’ I whisper a lie, the word for his benefit alone.

I feel as though I’m dying. I’m cold, tired, and so lightheaded I can barely focus on the shape of Amon in front of me.

‘W-water, please,’ I ask softly.

He immediately procures me a glass of water, helping me drink since I am too weak to hold it for myself.

‘Let’s get you a hot bath. Maybe that will help?’ Amon suggests.

I nod, giving him a small smile.

Carefully, Amon undresses me and takes me to our pool. He takes his own clothes off and with me in his arms, he slowly gets into the water.

‘I’m worried,’ he whispers as he holds me to his chest, keeping my entire body submerged but my head.

He leans in to brush his lips over my forehead, my nose, and then my lips.

‘I-I’ll b-be f-fine,’ I stammer.

Despite the hot water, I’m still trembling from the cold.

But Ambrosius had warned me about this side effect. He’d said I would be weak for quite some time and I’d accepted it as the price I have to pay to get my wish. Because of that, there’s nothing I can do but bear it in peace.

‘We’ll h-have a c-child,’ I whisper, twining my hands around Amon’s neck and bringing my lips to his skin as I try to absorb his heat. ‘I k-know we w-will.’

‘We will. Of course we will, Sela mina.’

‘I w-want you to m-make love t-to me t-tonight,’ I tell him. ‘T-tonight is the n-night. I k-know it.’

‘Sela… Can’t you see the state you’re in? You haven’t stopped shaking in my arms and you want me to make love to you? You can’t even walk by yourself, lass.’

‘I c-can. Please, Amon,’ I plead with him.

And to prove to him that I can, as we exit the bath, I force myself to walk to our bedroom.

‘I’m a little tired,’ I concentrate not to stutter. ‘But I know this is the moment,’ I say as I turn my gaze to him, willing him to fulfill this one request of mine.

‘Fine,’ he groans. ‘But you’re not to exert yourself too much, alright?’

I nod.

Still naked, I stretch myself on the bed as I beckon him to me, giving him a brilliant smile to convey all the love I have for him—a love that tonight will conceive a child.

How I know it, I don’t know. But I am absolutely certain it will happen.

‘Sela, lass. I love you too much to deny you anything,’ my Amon murmurs as he kisses every inch of my body, slowly arousing me until I’m ready for him. Only then does he sheathe himself into my body, holding me reverently in his arms as we slowly become one with each other.

It’s a languid love-making that has little to do with physical pleasure and everything to do with our hearts being in sync—with knowing that I have my male next to me, inside of me. That he’s here for me even when I feel like I might shatter in a million pieces if I move just one inch.

‘I love you, Amon,’ I whisper as I thread my fingers through his soft hair.

He’s holding himself on his forearms so he won’t rest his weight on me, and I make the Herculean effort to lean forward and lay a soft kiss on his lips that soon turns into the sweetest pain as I feel myself explode around him just as something in my body breaks.

The pain is immediate and so intense I’m about to cry.

But I hold it in since the last thing I want is to worry him.

When he finishes, he moves to the side, hugging me and whispering words of love in my ear. I use what little strength I have left to turn over so he can spoon me from behind, but also so he cannot see the tears that fall down my cheeks.

I made this choice. I chose to pay this price. And I will bear it until the end.

Unfortunately, it seems that as the days pass, instead of getting better, my body gets worse and worse—to the point that I cannot get out of bed, not even to relieve myself.

Amon, my sweet, sweet Amon, has been helping me with absolutely everything, caring for me as if I were an invalid.

Yet as the symptoms persist and become worse, I start to worry. It’s by the fourth day, I realize that something is extremely wrong.

Amon is not home since he’s on an errand to buy me some foods I’d been craving.

Taking advantage of the fact that I am alone, I attempt to get out of bed—at least to prove to myself that I can.

The moment I try to swing my legs over the bed, however, I fall. My body connects with the floor, pain flaring everywhere just as a crack resounds in the air.

My breathing intensifies just as horror fills me to the brim. I barely dare look down at my legs, instinctively knowing what awaits me.

Slowly, I move my gaze down my body, my mouth parting in shock as I see my tibia broken in two, one half of the bone sticking out as blood pours from the wound.

It’s not only the pain that makes me gasp, but also the fact that seconds pass and it’s not healing.

‘What happened?’ Amon barks as he comes rushing towards me.

‘I-I d-don’t k-know…’ I whisper. Just saying those words and I’m out of breath. ‘A-Amon…I-I’m s-scared,’ I confess for the first time.

‘Sela, lass no, please. It will be fine, you’ll see.’

‘I don’t t-think I-I’m fine.’

‘I’m going to look for Ambrosius. This isn’t right. This…’ he trails off as a look of pure anguish washes over his face. ‘Let me patch you up first,’ he sighs.

He lifts me carefully on the bed, bending my leg so he can study the wound.

It’s been minutes and nothing happened. It’s simply…not healing.

Amon brings a cloth as he washes the blood away from my leg before giving me a grim look.

‘I’ll need to push it back. Maybe it will heal then,’ he adds hopefully.

‘M-maybe,’ I agree, despite knowing how bad it will hurt to have him push the bone inside.

His own face scrunches up in pain as he touches the location of the wound, one hand on my leg to hold it still while the other is on the bone sticking out.

‘Look at me, darlin’. Look into my eyes, alright?’

‘A-alright,’ I whisper, bringing my gaze to his.

Gods, but it’s the only thing that’s keeping me sane—the love and hope I see in his eyes.

The bone snaps into place, the pain just as bad as I was expecting it to be. Yet as we watch the wound closely, it still does not heal.

‘I’ll bring some bandages,’ he mentions quietly, disappearing and reappearing with some white gauze which he uses to wrap my wound tight.

‘How are you? In pain?’

I nod.

‘Gods, Sela. This is killing me, love. For days… I can’t watch you like this anymore. Ambrosius needs to explain what the fuck went wrong.’

I nod again. Anything to escape this torment.

I am absolutely useless in this lame body. But more than anything, the ever pervasive pain makes me want to cry out loud and wail.

Yet I can’t.

Because that would make my Amon worry even more.

‘I’ll be back,’ he whispers, kissing my brow before disappearing from my sight.

It takes him only moments to return, angrier than I’ve ever seen him before.

‘He’s gone,’ he grits out. ‘There’s no trace of him in that house, Sela. He’s gone.‘

‘B-but…h-how?’

‘I don’t know but whatever he did to you… Fuck, Sela. He didn’t help you. He destroyed you.’

Tears coat my lashes before spilling onto my cheeks.

‘M-my p-power…is g-gone, isn’t it?’ I whisper.

He purses his lips as his own eyes turn misty.

‘This isn’t over,’ he says just as he disappears once more.

But that’s just the thing, isn’t it? It is over. I feel it everywhere. I am over.

Because without my power and in the state I’m in…I know there’s only one fate awaiting me.

It takes everything inside of me to bring my hand to my chest and trace the mark left behind by whatever Ambrosius had removed. That hadn’t been bad energy, had it? It had been all my energy.

Amon had seen through him all along. He’d known to be suspicious where I’d let myself be led by my idiotic dreams.

And now… I’m paying the price.

I can’t die.

I refuse to die. Not when that means leaving Amon behind. No…I can’t do that.

It doesn’t take long for my husband to appear again, this time holding a large vellum manuscript in his hands.

‘I got the book from the Vatican Library. If there’s anything that can help you, it has to be in here. I’ll fix this for you, Sela. Please trust me,’ he says as he comes to my side.

I don’t have the heart to tell him I doubt there is any fixing. Not when my body is wasting away one second at a time. I’ve never seen such rapid decay but I feel it in the way my bones are brittle and easily breakable, my entire body one movement away from being destroyed.

‘Amon,’ I whisper as I reach for him. ‘Please, hold me,’ I beg of him.

‘Sela…’

‘P-please…’

I don’t want to die alone.

But I don’t tell him that. Because voicing it out loud would be making it seem real. And in my heart I cannot accept that.

I simply cannot die.

He comes behind me as he hugs me to his chest.

My breathing is already shallow, my heart slowing down and making me feel even more lethargic than before.

Every moment that passes is one moment closer to my death. After denying it in my mind too many times, I’m forced to accept it as I barely fill my lungs with air. Each time I try to inhale, it feels as if I’m breathing in shards of glass.

My body is failing me, slowly perishing.

‘I l-love you,’ I wheeze out. ‘F-forev…’

I can’t finish the word as I feel myself growing so weak I cannot move my lips any longer. I am still slightly conscious—enough to hear Amon’s desolate cries and the way he tries to shake me back to life.

I’m still there to see the utter devastation on his face when he realizes what’s happening—that he’s losing me. The entire earth starts shaking and quaking, a black cloud of ash shielding the sun and turning the day into night—all manifestations of his grief.

He’s out of his mind with anguish, his eyes wholly black and brimmed with tears.

But I’m also still there for him when he opens that damned book.

‘I’m not losing you, Sela,’ he promises. ‘I’m not!’

And then he starts chanting from the book.

I don’t know what spell he’s performing , or what he means to do next.

I only know that my soul is suddenly at peace, a quiet certainty washing over me as death claims me.

This is not the end.