Eyes on Me (Salacious Players’ Club)

Mia

Dad got out of the hospital two weeks ago, and I have thrown myself into taking care of him. It’s a decent distraction and a hell of a lot better than crying in the basement. I’ve already used binge drinking and emotional support shopping to cope, but I’m running out of money, so I need a better distraction.

He’s doing better than I expected, able to walk around the house and eat small meals unassisted, which I find annoying, because I desperately need something more time-consuming. So now I’m being bothersome, constantly by his side, begging him for tasks and trying to do absolutely anything that will keep my mind off the fact that I miss Garrett.

Laura can tell something is up. You can only use the ‘he must be busy with work’ excuse so many times. Especially for a guy who ran three miles in the middle of summer to be with me at the hospital.

It’s been two full weeks since I spoke to him, and I’m still livid, but the worry is setting in too. I was too hurt that night to be angry, and I’ve managed to keep myself from calling him just to yell and tell him how mad I am at him. But also, to check on him.

The voyeur event is this weekend, and I had enough of a hand in it to feel invested. I should be there, but I can’t risk being around Garrett yet. I need more time to think and be angry.

When I go in to check on my dad, he’s not in bed like he should be. Instead, he’s on the back patio, enjoying the sunshine.

“You’re supposed to be sleeping,” I mutter as I join him in the opposite chair.

“I’m tired of sleeping.” Then he glances in my direction with a harsh expression. “Besides, you’re one to talk. You look like you could use some sleep yourself.”

“Ouch.”

“Why are you sitting around here taking care of me? We’ve hardly seen you all summer and now you won’t leave.”

“You just had surgery and you scared the shit out of me. Is it so bad that I want to make sure you’re okay and spend some time with you?”

“I’m fine,” he says with a roll of his eyes. “Stop hanging around here. Go to the beach or go hang out with Garrett.”

His name instantly makes me clam up.

“Oh, you two are fighting, aren’t you?” he asks, obviously noticing the way my mood sours at the mention of his name.

“Yeah,” I reply.

“What did he do this time?”

I don’t look at my dad as I chew on my lower lip. I can’t even scratch the surface of this conversation, without it getting very awkward and inappropriate. So I stay quiet.

“Laura told me what happened when I was in surgery.”

My head snaps up as I stare at him. “What happened?”

“She said you called him, which in itself is a surprise. But then she said you two hardly separated for hours while you waited.”

I have to force myself to swallow down the uncomfortable lump building in my throat. “We were just scared.”

“Yeah…” he replies, not sounding too convinced.

“Later that night, he came back to the hospital and told his mother everything. He told her it was serious. That he was nervous how everyone would react, but that he loved you.”

What? He said that?

“Dad—’ It’s on the tip of my tongue to deny it or to apologize, but I don’t exactly know why.

He holds up his hand to stop me. “I don’t need details, but I also don’t want you to lie about it.”

“Are you mad?”

“A little…but you’re twenty-three. And I didn’t raise a girl who couldn’t stand up for herself. I know if he does ever hurt you, you’ll give him hell.”

My chest aches with the reminder that he did, in fact, hurt me. A self-fulfilled prophecy since Garrett did, in some sense, try to warn me.

“I don’t know what to say…”

“Tell me why you’re here and not with him,” he says with a furrowed brow.

“Because he fucked it up already—sorry,” I stammer, covering my mouth after cussing at my dad. He just laughs but immediately winces from the pain.

“Hmm…” he replies, and I wait for him to continue. “Is it something you can forgive him for? Something you can work out?”

“I don’t know. He humiliated me.”

My dad laughs again, but cuts it short when he realizes he can’t even chuckle without paying for it.

“Will you stop it?” I say, jumping up to tend to him. “If you pop a stitch, Laura is going to kill you.”

“Well, come on. That’s funny.”

“What’s so funny about Garrett humiliating me?”

“It’s Garrett,” he says, as if it shouldn’t be surprising at all. “You two have been picking on each other for fifteen years. Now you want to have a relationship with him and you think things will be different. Honey, people don’t change just because your relationship has.”

“Well, he lied to me, and it’s way more than a prank or a joke.”

“I’m sorry,” he says, his stoic eyes set on me. “Don’t forgive him until he earns it.”

“But…” I reply because I can feel him wanting to continue.

“But…I hope he earns it. You’re still family and you’ve been happy lately. I’m your dad, so as much as I hate to think about you having a boyfriend, I do like to see you happy.”

My throat begins to sting with emotion. What is it about a heart-to-heart with your dad that makes you want to start crying immediately?

“I know Laura wants to see him happy too.”

Just the mention of Garrett being happy sets my jaw, and I look up at my dad. But he doesn’t continue, and I’m left to worry even more.

I’m cleaning up the kitchen with Laura when my phone rings; I don’t recognize the number, but it’s local and for some reason, I feel compelled to hit the green button.

“Hello?”

“I heard about you…” a sweet voice replies.

“Eden?”

“You remember me,” she says with a laugh. “I didn’t know if you would. Charlie gave me your number. I hope you don’t mind me calling.”

I almost forgot that I did give Charlotte my number in the midst of the event planning.

“Of course not,” I say, glancing at Laura as I sneak out of the kitchen to talk in private. “But what exactly did you hear?”

“I heard you blew away the voyeur hall with a little solo performance.”

Oh. That. Inwardly, I groan. “You heard about that, huh?”

“Honey, everyone heard about that.”

“Well, that’s a little embarrassing,” I say as I disappear down into the basement.

“Embarrassing? From what I heard, it was hot as fuck. I’ve always wanted to take a room alone, but never had the guts to do it. You’re amazing.”

I laugh. “How is that amazing?”

“Because you don’t give a fuck. You’re hot and you know it and you own it and make people look at you. I wish I could be you.”

This time, I laugh a little louder. “Please.”

“I’m serious! That kind of confidence is so hot. You have to perform this weekend.”

This weekend…the event. “I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not talking to Garrett right now.”

“Well, he hasn’t even been in all week, so you probably don’t need to worry about him anyway. Plus, what better way to show that you don’t need him than to show up and blow the roof off this place.”

But I do need him. And I do care that he hasn’t shown up to work. But I don’t say that. I’m still angry at him, but the worry is there too.

“I don’t know…”

“Well, think about it. I’d love to help you plan your set. We could get you on a rotating platform. I’m thinking all white on a black bed…maybe even get you some toys to play with. The crowd would eat it up.”

The idea is enticing, and if it wasn’t for Garrett, I wouldn’t hesitate to say yes.

“I’ll think about it, okay?”

“That’s a yes.”

Laughter bubbles out of me. “No, it’s not. It means, I’ll think about it.”

“I’ll see you tonight at ten, so we can talk about it.”

“Eden!”

“Charlotte is sitting next to me. She said it sounds good.”

“Stop,” I reply with a laugh.

“Okay, see you soon!” they both say in unison before the line goes dead.

I try to wipe the smile off my face as I start the shower. I guess Eden doesn’t leave me much choice, but I think it’s really about more than that. There’s a chance he will be there. A chance I’ll see him and know that he’s okay. Even if I am mad at him. Even if I’m definitely not going to forgive him.