Experimentation

The wind blows gently as I make it to the bus stop, I finally calm my breath and walk inside. The waiting area welcomes a warm feeling to course through my body, a slight aroma of cleanliness fills my nose. I’m really free for the first time in a year. The lady at the desk gives me a look of curiosity as I approach the desk. “Hello, I was wondering if there are anymore buses leaving tonight.” I manage to say in a surprisingly calm voice, wanting to be far away from that hell hole called a hospital. “There are two left, one heading to Albany and the other heading to Hilton.” Illton? I thought I was far out of the bus line reach. That is what Ed- another lie that murder told me. “I’ll take the one to Illton please, how long of a bus ride is it?” I reach into my pocket grabbing the wallet the rests inside, quickly pulling out cash. “It is a 9 hour ride, you’d should be getting there by tomorrow night.” I turn my head slightly to see the clock, 11:54 pm. “That’s fine, how much?” The conversation of information went on, I’m the only one in here and the girl seems friendly enough. I manage to break off from the conversation and let my mind rest as I take a simple nap.

I awake from my sleep with a gentle tap on my shoulder, I manage to lift my eyelids to face the source of the tap. “I know I should’ve let you get your sleep but I just got the extra bathroom key and there is a shower in there. I’m not saying you smell but you do look a bit unsettling.” The desk lady places a key gently in my hand, the cool metal sparks the electricity inside but my energy drained from the last few hours. My body begins to make its own path to the bathroom allowing my mind to continue resting. Time hazes together and the next moment my brain remembers is icy cold water hitting my skin. The water allows my brain to finally wake from the first peaceful rest I’ve had in a long time, my body tense from the events that happened merely hours ago. My vision focuses on the drain below, blood, dirt, and ash swirls into the pipes below. Why did this happen to me of all the people in this sinful world? Was this a punishment for when I tried to kill myself? Why make the pain grow instead of fade? I shoot my head towards the window trying to surpass this wave of depression, the crashing of my mind. I open my mouth to scream at the world but not a sound comes out, my own body won’t allow me relief from my inner pain. My body seems clean enough, I turn the water off and step out of the rest stop shower.

The bathroom covered in rust and dirt, most people will see filth but I see beauty. The world is dirty and broken but not unfixable, no world is perfect for it will always need to be repaired. I quickly dress in a white sweater and jeans to be warm and clean for a first time in a while. When digging in the backpack that Tina had packed Trina and me, my hand touches a cold object. I wrap my fingers around the chain like object pulling the object out into the open, my eyes land on the silver object that’s attached to the chain tears begin to form again. Katrina’s necklace, a smooth silver K on a tiny silver chain. She had Tina place it in the bag, did she know she was going to die? I flip the bag upside dumping the contaminants on the ground, a envelop fluttering to the ground catches my eye. I rush and grasp the envelop mid-air and stare at the front. The envelops front is written in Katrina’s neat writing saying:

To Ria

I’m Sorry

I tear the top off the envelop and pull the papers from inside into my hands. My heart is craving to look at the papers in my hand but my mind gets ahead of my heart. What if she wanted to die? Was this a plan that she had the entire time? I begin to breathe deeply and unfold the paper. I can do this,

Dear Irisa

If all goes as plan, you will never have to see this letter. I would throw it away or burn it but if you are seeing this then I’m dead. There is much that I want to tell you but this letter is not to explain why everything has happened but to tell you why I fell in love with you.

You are a light in this world even when darkness has inflicted your heart. You have given me a purpose of life that I never had before, even when I thought I had loved another. I can’t explain how much I love you, you have changed my life for the better and I hate to do this but this letter is for goodbye.

I have a few things that you need to know before I say goodbye forever. One, At first Edwin made me be a spy for him. To see if you develop powers with his serum like the others had before, and I did. I had told him every time a new ability came to you, I told him about it. I was his agent but as I spent more time with you, I’ve learned that you are sweet, kind, smart, and overall amazing. My reason to continue on telling him was valid but it never stopped hurting. My betrayal towards you must feel awful but if I didn’t then I would pay for my actions, and I didn’t want to risk it.

Once we came up with the plan to stop him, I knew we had to get evidence but it would be risky. Find my brother, his name is Isaac and he turns 12 on September 12th, I’ll have to miss his birthday by a few days sadly. I wish I could have seen him grow into an adult. There is a dinosaur inside, I can never remember the type, it’s his. Give it to him for me, he will know what it means. I’m writing this before we go and get the evidence and I just want to write this to give you and my family closure if I die. I love you Irisa Elena Farren and I hope you will never forget me.

Love

Katrina Lee James.

Tears fall fast down my face as I read her last words, she didn’t want to leave me. She actually loved me, as much as I love her and I always will love her. I fold the letter again and put it the back pocket of my jeans, shoving the items on the ground back into the bag. Unclasping the necklace was a harsh feeling for me, I put the necklace on in a swift motion. My heart tightens as the K settles on my chest. Wrapping my hand around the necklace felt right, felt like I was connected to Katrina once again. I raise myself into a standing position walking towards the door, strolling out of the bathroom.

“Bus 87 to Illton is now departing.” The intercom booms out, the lady at the counter points at my bags and the door. Rude. My hand wraps around the handle of my suitcase as I rest my backpack on top. Walking outside sent a chill through my spin, my heart rate speeds up slightly. I step slowly on the bus and sit down in the back. I’m not ready to go home yet, I need to find Katrina’s brother. I just hope he isn’t far from home.

Dear Diary

I don’t even know how I can be writing in this currently. I’m sad. Not scared, not anxious, not overrun with the powers that manifest inside me. I’m deeply sad. I lost my best friend, I lost Mona. I remember her falling onto the ground like

The fresh breeze blow in as Mona’s casket is lowered into the ground, tears blurring my vision as I say my final goodbye to Mona. The sorrow that had been residing in me since her death is starting to finally starting to settle to just plain sadness, she died therefore Cade could live. I feel a jolt of electricity go through my body at the squeeze of my hand, I look into the eyes of the man who was once my best friend. “How are you feeling?” I said with my voice cracking due to amount of tears that are streaming down my face, Cade gives me a sad smiles as he wipes the tears off my cheeks. “I’m doing as good as I can, my scar hurts everytime I cry therefore it’s been in non stop pain.” I press my head against his hand, letting the electricity shock him but he doesn’t pull away as if it doesn’t bother him. He wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me towards him, his warmth is comforting in this painful day.

Lost in our own world the day went on peacefully, everyone mourned and grieved at their own pace. Cade and I snuck away after the burial and went to the cliff, Mona’s special place and we sat at the edge. I lay my head on Cade’s lap and looked at the sky, “I miss her.” I said in a quiet whisper. Cade’s arm wraps around my waist holding me in my place, “Me too. Mona was a great friend and I’ll miss her but she died a hero. She is a hero who saved the world but will only be remembered by us, she stopped Edwin. My psychotic father.” Cade said gently into my ear.

I wish I could say we stayed there for a few minutes and left but something was drawing us there, maybe it was Mona or Katrina or even my mother but today was for Cade and I to grief. Grief for everyone that we lost in our journey, for us to heal from our pain. From my mom whose death started my growth into my new self as she was a light that I will cherish as I grow up. To Katrina whose love for me ended her life, she sacrificed her freedom for me and she’ll always have a special place in my heart. To Mona, my first friend since I escaped hell, the girl who hid her true self and died a true hero. The deaths that Edwin caused are awful but without him Cade wouldn’t be here and I wouldn’t be who I am today.

I stand up and walk to the edge of the cliff staring up into the sky, Cade walks besides me and holds my hand. “Isa, are you are right?” Cade said with concern lacing his voice. I nod my head with tears falling from my eyes, letting my vision blur from the salty water dripping from my eyes. His thumbs starts to stroke in circles calming my heart but the electricity needs to be released, I pulled my hand away and faced him. “Back away.” I said to him quietly feeling the electricity swirl through my eyes. Cade nods in understanding and backs away to the abandon bench, I turned around and raised my hands in the air. The electricity starts to spark from my fingers letting my body fill with a hum, the crackling noise that erupts is a peaceful sound to break the silence. My mind wanders to all the moments in my life that I’ve held onto, the tainted memories of life that is hard to let go of. All the hurt, pain, sadness, anger, numbness shots to the surface combining with the sparks resulting in a violent increase of lights to flash. I open my mouth slightly and let out a scream, it echos of the cliff walls and hits the see. The pain filled scream releases my hold of the power that courses through my veins, Pushing all the grief and sadness that crushes my chest out of my lungs, finally allowing myself to let go of the pain I’ve trapped in my mind.

I am no longer the girl who became an empty shell, no longer the girl who had tried to end this precious life that I was given. I am no longer the girl who held the pain of her life in her heart weighing her down, I’m not this prisoner to my mind anymore. Edwin had set me free by breaking me down but I am not his experiment anymore, I am the experimentation that lived. The girl who lost and grieved, broken and filled with sorrow. The brave girl who had escaped from hell, only to find hell’s warden to be tracking her. The one who lived throughout the rest, their life conutines in her. The monster that changed to a hero, I’m finally free to live. I’m the experimentation that has survived, I’m a warrior. The lives of those who had died won’t be in vain, I’ll live for them, I’ll live for them all. Mona, you gave me the gift of life and for that I will never forget you. I feel a hand wrap around mine, Cade’s eyes meet mine with a sad smile. His hand goes into his pocket and pulls out a crumpled up paper airplane, what is that? “This is the plane we made when your mom had died, you wanted to throw it off of this cliff, but for some reason, it came back to us every time. I never saw you so disappointed in the world until Mona… I think that you weren’t ready to let go of it, of your mom. I know that you never truly will, but now you are ready to heal. I know this feels like a lose, but Mona wouldn’t want to be remember for the end of her life, but the way she lived it. She was free and simply beautiful. After you crumbled it up this small plane and throw it in the garbage, I felt that you were going to need to let her go at one point. I took it home and put it in my closet, I forgot it was there until yesterday when I had to get an outfit out for Mona’s funeral. I think it’s time to let them go.” My eyes stand in his but my hands grabs the plane smoothing out the ripped wings. I felt the wind die down enough for me to throw it into the sky, I wind my hand up and push it off. The paper plane follows a downwards curve towards the ocean but never touches the water, and one thing comes to my mind.

“We are all free.”

“Do you think that the drugs have worked well on her doctor?” The wind suddenly turned into a whisper as I turn back to Cade. “Did you hear that?” Cade’s eyes look at me with concern before shaking his head watching my eyes dart all around me. I heard something, I swear I did.

“I’m hoping to see more of a change from her deranged state, but only time can tell.”

What’s going on? Who is that? “Cade, how are you not hearing that?” I start to walk down the mountain side, trying to follow that sounds of the voices. “Hey, Izzy slow down. Where are you going? No one is here.”

“Doctor, her brain wave patterns are changing, should I get nurses ready for her?”

“Yes, please. I don’t want her to hurt herself or others. Her delusions have almost cost her the ability to leave her room. I don’t want anyone else getting hurt.”

The wind starts to blow faster as I approach the sea, the voices were coming from there. The shore has started to light up with a minising white fog. “Irisa, don’t go!” I turn back to Cade and his face is red with concern, there is something out here. Our eyes meet, and in my heart, it feels like the last time.

“I have too”

I turn and jump into the water and suddenly look up into a white roof. I try to sit up, but I’m restrained to the bed. A muzzle on my face.

Author's Note:

Hey Everyone!

So, if anyone has been actively checking on this story (which I don't believe has happened) you'd see that before today, the story had not been updated for 3 years. The ending of this book was written 4 years ago, and I haven't even read it all the way through. I wanted to at least finish what I started, I wanted to finish writing this book. Now, I want you all to know that I am aware that this is the most inconsistent writing and plot known to man. I am posting these chapters here as a reminder that I did finish a story. It may not string together perfectly and there are more holes in the plot than on a sieve, but I wanted to finish it. You can clearly see throughout my writing what was written first and what was written more recently. This story isn't perfect, but it's mine. Maybe one day I'll have the time to go in and fix it, make it something that I would be proud of until the day I die. Where I am in life doesn't allow the time for me to do that, but I am proud that I finished it.

If you are a writer reading this, finish your story. It doesn't have to be good or make sense. Just continue putting your thoughts on paper and maybe one day, you'll make a masterpiece.