Chapter 8
Turned out Ronnie was a friend of Rin’s. She brought her in to do my hair and makeup, brushing aside any mention of cost.
Ronnie, or Veronica, was a dream. Sweet as pie and made me up better than I ever could. When she finished, I barely felt like myself. I felt like a woman who could walk into the grand ballroom on the other side of the house and still hold my head high.
“Thank you so much.”
“My pleasure,” she said. “Make him wish he’d never fucked up.”
I grinned.
Yes.
I would do just that.
Ocean and Trinity deemed my shoes acceptable. So I was a few inches taller, and despite my resistance, the dress fit me perfectly, and it looked good.
“Fine,” I told her. “You win. This is better.”
“I know.” She strode over to the doors and grabbed the handles. “Now let’s show you off. She’s ready!”
I rolled my eyes as I walked out of the closet. There wasn’t a reason to show off for the men I was paying to be with me, even if they were…
All my thoughts evaporated.
My mouth went dry.
All five men stood in the living room in perfectly tailored suits. Hawk was right. They cleaned up good, and they hadn’t been bad before.
I didn’t know what it was about a man in a suit that turned me into a puddle, but wow. And all five of them stared at me like I was the center of the universe. Like they wanted to tear me apart and put me back together. Like they wanted to consume me.
Four years with Beau, and I couldn’t think of a single time he’d looked at me like this.
So five of them?
The weight of their eyes was almost too much.
Rowan stepped forward and reached for my hand. I gave it to him, watching in a daze as he lifted it, kissing the back of my hand. “You look beautiful, Isolde.”
“Thank you.” I sounded like I’d just crawled across the desert without water the way my throat rasped.
Without releasing me, he turned and threaded my arm through his. “Shall we?”
“Yeah. Um,” I glanced away from them, because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t stop staring. “You guys look great.”
“No one will be looking at us,” Vaughn said.
I glanced up at him. The darkness of his suit emphasized his light coloring and the sheer broadness of his shoulders. He looked at me like he’d looked at me through the closet door. Like I was more than anything.
They were very, very good at their jobs.
Managing a smile, I took a breath. “You guys know how to make a girl feel good. I’m not surprised you’re so good at what you do.”
Vaughn’s eyes shuttered, and I couldn’t explain the flash of hurt there before he looked toward the door where Trinity and Ocean were already slipping out and heading for the party. “We should get going.”
“Of course.” Something in my chest didn’t feel right. But I wasn’t sure why saying that would be an issue? It was clear from their interview with Rin they valued their reputation and prided themselves on a good experience. Wasn’t it a compliment?
With my arm in Rowan’s, I led them through the house to the other side. Guests already milled around the public areas, champagne in hand. Not many yet, but already I saw people glancing at me with polite smiles before looking away and quickly going back to their conversations. Like I couldn’t see them talking about me.
Suddenly, the confidence I’d felt in the closet wasn’t as strong. I paused at the entrance of the ballroom. People floated here and there, and it would only get more crowded. My parents knew a lot of people, and there would be plenty here hoping to charm them because of who they were.
I hadn’t been here in a year. Who knew what Beau had told them? What did everyone in Clarity think of me? Even my parents weren’t powerful enough to stop all rumors. Even though Beau was the one to dump me like four years together was nothing, I was the one who looked guilty. I ran. I hid. I didn’t let all of silly Clarity society see me standing tall afterward, and I knew how this town worked.
If you weren’t smiling for everyone to see, something was wrong. You had something to hide. My fingers tightened on Rowan’s sleeve.
“Do you have more lip gloss?” He asked.
“What?”
I had to look up at him. Rowan was tall. The tallest of them, just barely clearing Vaughn’s height. The light scent of sea salt curled through the air, relaxing me. The coconut hit a second later. Standing next to Rowan was like standing on the beach in the sun.
He searched my face with a smile. “Do you have more lip gloss? Because I’m about to ruin yours.”
Leaning down, he captured my mouth with his in a possessive kiss that had people gasping around us. I couldn’t think. Couldn’t breathe.
Rowan’s hand slid up my spine, warming my bare back where my dress exposed my skin. The vibration of a growl rolled from him to me a second before he kissed me deeper, and I couldn’t bring myself to care that we stood in the middle of a crowd. The way he kissed me made everything else turn to mist.
Kissing this Alpha felt like coming home in a way I couldn’t put my finger on, and all I wanted was more. At the same time my brain screamed alarm bells at me. I needed to pull away from him. The temptation to fall into them was already so high, I couldn’t let myself. It wasn’t real, and if I let myself pretend it was, my heart would break all over again.
I couldn’t survive that.
Rowan broke the kiss but didn’t pull away. This close, I saw the warmth in his eyes. Brown that shifted to nearly amber in the afternoon light, and beyond that, a playfulness in them. “Something else for them to talk about,” he whispered.
Worrying my teeth into my lip, I tried to steady myself. Because even in his arms, knowing he wouldn’t let me fall, I felt like I was walking on loose sand. “I’m not sure that’s better. They’re still talking.”
“I don’t know. I think kissing you makes everything better.”
He straightened us both before he could see how red I was turning. People looked at us behind their hands and their champagne glasses, but Rowan ignored them, pulling me further into the party.
“Izzy!” A flying blur of white came flying at me. Rowan barely let go in time for Ellie to barrel into me and wrap me in a hug. “Oh my god, I’m so happy you’re here. Mom made me promise I wouldn’t crash your suite, so I’ve been waiting.”
I laughed. “Hey.”
“It feels like it’s been forever.”
“I talked to you yesterday, Ellie.” I met Hawk’s eyes over her shoulder. He was smiling, watching the interaction with interest.
“I know, but it’s not the same. Come on. You need a drink.” She towed me away from the guys. I glanced over my shoulder to see Warren, Ellie’s fiancé, introducing himself to the pack. Joel nodded in my direction. They would be fine.
Ellie pulled me to the bar. “Can we talk about how I’ve been talking to you every week and you never mentioned a pack? Ever?”
“I wasn’t sure where it was going. What was the point of anyone getting excited if it’s not going to last?”
“And now? They’re here with you. That’s a good sign, right?”
I lifted my shoulders and let them fall. “I guess so.”
“White wine, please. Same for her.” Ellie narrowed her eyes. “Why are you so reluctant? If you didn’t like them, you wouldn’t have brought them with you into the center of attention.”
The bartender placed the glass of wine in front of me, and I spun it on the bar. “I don’t want to get ahead of myself, Ellie. It’s still new, and you know that time isn’t always a factor. I just want to be sure.”
“If you think it’s not going well, you need your head checked. I saw that kiss, and I saw the way the rest of them looked at you. I don’t even know their names and I’m convinced they’re in love with you.”
I choked on my wine. “They are not in love with me.”
“Bullshit,” she muttered. “If you’re not engaged by the time the wedding gets here, I’ll be shocked. And besides, wouldn’t you want the pack you’re seeing to be in love with you?”
Danger. My mind pulsed with the word. Too much resistance and this whole thing fell apart. “Oh my god. Have you been talking to Rin? Cause I think you guys are having the same shared delusion.”
“What delusions are we having?” Rin appeared as if summoned. “As long as the delusions are hot, I’m fine with that. Ellie, your mother is looking for you. Something about needing hostess support?”
My sister sighed and took the biggest sip of wine in history. “She means she wants me to help butter people up, even though this isn’t my party, because some of them will be at the wedding. My favorite. My feet are already killing me. I might need to steal some flats before tonight is over.”
Disappearing into the crowd, I leaned against the bar. She and I couldn’t be more different. We barely even looked alike, with her blonde hair and tan skin. I couldn’t get a tan if I camped on the fucking sun.
“Okay,” Rin said after she ordered her drink. “You have to help me out.”
“How?”
She lowered her voice so there was no chance of being overheard. “I know you said no fucking the escorts. But I’m begging you. Please. For me.”
I took a sip of my drink, watching people begin to dance. “You’re free to go get some. You’re at a party attached to a wedding. Events known for creating bad decisions and one-night stands.”
She huffs. “I would. Believe me. I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“My pussy is out of commission.”
I stared at her until she relented.
“I have a yeast infection.”
“Shit.”
Rin grabbed her drink off the bar. “Par for the course. Gotta love it.” She grimaced and drank.
Trinity’s diabetes made her more susceptible, and even though she was almost religious in taking care of herself, sometimes nature just happened. Like going into rut or heat, some things were inevitable.
Didn’t mean we had to like it, though.
Cade came up on her other side and ordered a drink, glancing between us. “Everything okay?”
I smiled. “Just encouraging Rin to go mingle and find some… company.”
The bartender set a glass down in front of Cade, and Trinity grabbed it, downing the drink in one go. “Thank you. That was delicious.”
All Cade did was chuckle. “One of these days, Trinity, someone’s going to put you in your place, and I can’t wait to see it.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
Cade’s eyes were on me before he briefly looked at her and smiled. “It means he’ll be the one who can handle you, and he—or they—will be the only ones you let do it.”
Her eyes went wide, mouth dropping open. The way he said it was all teasing, but I started to laugh at her expression. “You can’t even pretend that’s not true, Rin.” My best friend loved to stir up shit, and the pack or man that managed to tame her would be a sight to behold.
Rolling her eyes, she lifted her own drink and flipped her hair over her shoulder. But even now, she was trying hard not to smile. “Guess I better go start riling up Alphas.” Then she lowered her voice. “The pussy’s out of commission, but they don’t have to know that.”
She disappeared into the crowd before I could say anything, and I stepped closer to Cade. “You didn’t tell me you liked to play with fire.”
“I can handle a little fire.”
“People always say my hair’s on fire. You going to put me in my place?” I asked with a laugh, covering what I actually thought about that.
The words weren’t something you should like. It wasn’t okay, but when Cade said it, I knew he didn’t mean it as shoving a woman into the kitchen and ordering her to make a sandwich. It wasn’t nearly the same. And the idea of this pack taking control and leading, allowing me to fulfill the role of Omega with ease?
Kind of hot.
“Is that something you want?” Cade asked softly. He wasn’t looking at me directly, eyes focused on the thin strap of my dress like he imagined what it would be like to push it off my shoulder.
I smiled into my wine glass, shivering. This pack was something else. And I didn’t have an answer for him. A laugh caught my attention, floating over the crowd, and it rooted me to the spot. Beau.
Looking over my shoulder, I spotted him and Angela in the receiving line, speaking to my sister. She glanced at me for the briefest of seconds, smile tight. Beau didn’t notice.
It hurt to look at him. Not because I wanted him back. I didn’t. But because it still didn’t make sense to me. I’d been limping along this whole time without closure. It was just… sudden.
I thought we’d been fine. We hadn’t been having sex that often, but we were both busy. And then, shortly after my heat, he said it was over. I didn’t like to think about that heat. It wasn’t my favorite memory.
The thing that hurt the most was that Angela looked like me. Or a better version of me. Coppery red hair curled around her shoulder and she somehow managed to pull off a red dress at the same time—something that wasn’t easy.
It just felt like he’d traded me in for a new model and it hadn’t hurt him at all. Maybe that was what bothered me. We were together for four years. We were happy. I thought we were happy. So did leaving me mean absolutely nothing?
Having someone mean everything to you and then see it wasn’t mutual—that apparently you meant less than nothing to them—wasn’t a feeling I’d ever wanted to understand.
And never wanted to feel it again.
“That’s him?”
I startled at Joel’s voice. He stood near me now. They all did, arrayed subtly out so we all weren’t bunched together.
“Yeah.” I stepped away from the bar so I wasn’t in the way anymore. “That’s him. In the flesh.”
Rowan shrugged. “Not what I imagined the asshole to look like.”
I blinked at him, and I caught a flicker of something deeper in his gaze. The feeling that what he showed on the surface wasn’t nearly everything. Of course it wasn’t. This was all for show.
So why did I desperately want to peel back those layers and find out what he was hiding? Just like after the kiss, the air spun out between us, going electric. I needed to get my shit together.
“Isolde, there you are.” My mother appeared in front of me and grabbed my hand. Cade just barely rescued my wine from my other hand as she towed me across the ballroom. “Sorry to be so abrupt. Marie can’t stay and she wanted to see you.”
One of my mother’s friends and business partners. “Really?”
“Yeah.”
I held back my sigh. Clearly that wasn’t the truth, but Mom would get to it when she got to it. “Oh, it looks like she left already.”
“Mom, if you want to talk to me, you can just say you want to talk to me. You don’t have to make stuff up.”
“Yes,” she said. “But why do I get the feeling if I tell you I want to talk to you that you’ll find an excuse to stay with those handsome men and dodge my questions?”
Because you’re right. “I have no idea.”
She sighed and touched my arm. “I want to make sure you’re okay.”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
Mom gave me a look I absolutely deserved. I left so quickly I gave my family whiplash. They barely heard the news before I was out of the city. I couldn’t look at anything without feeling like I was going to lose my mind. Every place in Clarity Coast had memories attached, and so many were of Beau. They were happy, and then all of a sudden it was like my entire world was covered in sadness and pain that couldn’t wash off. I couldn’t breathe.
“I’m fine, Mom. Promise.”
“It just seems sudden, with this pack. I’ve asked you about meeting anyone, and you said no.”
I flexed my fingers, resisting the urge to run them through my hair and ruin the gorgeous waves Ronnie managed to give me. “Yeah, I know. But everything with Beau was so public. After that, I wanted some space just to get to know them without anyone looking at us.”
We weren’t paparazzi famous. But we didn’t have to be. Society in Clarity Coast, and an hour north in Sunset City, everyone knew everyone. Beau and I had been a golden couple. Two big families coming together by chance because of work. It was—should have been—a fairytale.
“Well,” she said softly, “they are certainly looking at you.”
I didn’t have to look back to where we came from to know she meant my guys.
My heart stuttered at that thought. My guys.
“I hope you like them,” I said honestly.
“I’m sure I will. If they’ll be around for everything, it’ll be nice to get to know them.”
“They will be,” I said.
Pulling me into a hug, she sighed. “I just want you to be happy, Isolde.” My eyes pricked with tears because I could hear the emotion in her voice. “I know this really isn’t the place, but I can’t think about anything else.”
“I’m trying.”
“I know.” She pulled back, blinking quickly to clear the tears. “I know you are. And whatever you need to do to be happy is fine with me. I just hope we can be a part of it.”
Shame washed up and over me. My family was going to fall in love with them, and when the whole charade was over, they were going to be devastated. “For sure.” The words felt like dust in my mouth.
“Okay.” She brushed invisible lint off my shoulders and arranged my hair. “I need to get back to it. Everyone’s here for me and Henry, after all. But the family and the wedding party are having breakfast tomorrow. We’d love to see all of you.”
“I’ll tell them.”
“Mom… I really am sorry.” Apologies for running had already happened, but I still felt the need to say it. Especially since I wasn’t telling her the whole truth.
She touched my arm again. “I know. And you don’t have to keep saying it. It’s long forgotten. We’re just happy you’re home.”
When she walked away, she wasn’t just my mother. She was Adelaide Allen Caruso, host of the party. She’d always been better at that part of it than me. I could play the game, but I didn’t love the game. My family loved it, and despite me not quite matching, they loved me anyway.
I saw Ocean standing near the windows, looking out at her namesake, and chose to be grateful. My family had their faults, and none of us were perfect, but they loved me. Not everyone could say the same.
People were beginning to notice me standing alone, so I started across the room, back to my guys and my wine. Someone turned so quickly I had to duck out of the way not to get hit.
The scent of lemongrass and eucalyptus. Blonde hair. Blue eyes. A smirk I couldn’t forget even though I desperately wanted to. And at his side, a smile sharp as knives.
Beau had found me.