End of the Omega

The next few days passed as my body healed. My wolf had delved too far to speak to, she needed time to heal. The silver had done a number on her. Damian, Nicos or Allianna sat with me at all times, and I found out a guard was outside the bedroom door at all times and four guards surrounded the house. On the third day I was getting restless, and no offence to the siblings but I was getting irritated at being ‘watched’. If I tried to get out of bed I’d get the third degree when all I needed was a pee.

My bandages finally came off on the fourth day, my skin had healed enough that infection couldn’t set in and the thick black stitches could come out. Normally the wound would have healed in under a day… but the silver had slowed my healing, like everything else. I looked down to the closed wounds. The doctor had done as good a job as possible neatening the jagged edges. They were still thick but straighter. The scars would be hideous and it would be a reminder of what they had done. And why they needed to die. Granted… only one scar was due to them… some of them were the panicked wolves trying to cut the silver out of me… hence the multiple cuts.

I still couldn’t put weight on my arm but I could now walk almost freely, I’d wobble slightly but… Damian only allowed me to go to the bathroom and back. He’d been fretting and worrying like crazy and had been fussing over me like I was dying… sweet but irritating.

I pushed myself out of bed and walked around it “Where are you going?” Damian was up out of his chair, discarding his book. “Damian,” I sighed out in frustration “I’m going to the balcony… is that now a crime too?” I cocked my head to him, daring him to tell me to get back into bed.

“OK… just be careful.” I ignored him and pushed the window, swivelling it open. The fresh air hitting me, the woodland tree saps of birch and oak scents filling my nostrils. I rested one arm on the wooden railing. Taking lungfuls of the sweet outdoors.

I looked over to the inviting hot tub, I was desperate to get in but that was a no. Damian didn’t have to tell me that one, if I could get an infection… the hot tub would be the place to get it. I could see Damian watching me from his chair… he was pretending to read but I could see his eyes looking over the book. I sighed and looked up, the clouds rolling over the blue. I could feel a storm coming, the air was pressurised and damp. And beyond the mountains, I could see grey. Then I could see blue… blue eyes “Damian,” I whined out exasperated “Can I not have three seconds alone?”

“No, you may get weak and fall over, or fall off the balcony or you may get swept away by griffins.”

“Griffins don’t exist. Damian, I like you but I seriously need some space.”

“OK.” He took one step back, that was the last straw, I snapped.

“Fuck sake! I’m bored! I want to get back to normal! I want to go for a walk! I want to get my own fucking breakfast! I want to be able to pee without someone asking where I’m going! I want to have a shower without you watching if I’m going to slip and die! I want to be me again!” Damian looked at me like I was a pup… another thing that was getting on my nerves “Soon, you just need to get back to full strength again… and there is a high possibility you’ll slip in the shower… you’ve done it before.”

“I’m not going to get to full strength being in bed all the time… and… you’ve not touched me in three days!” His look changed to sorrow and embarrassment

“I… I didn’t want to hurt you.” He dropped his gaze looking to the decked floor

“You won’t hurt me… I miss you.” I took the step towards him peering up into his down-turned face “Please Damian.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave an involuntary hiss as my scabs hit his neck. I retracted my arm quickly “See! I hurt you.”

“That wasn’t you. See?” I put my arm out “Leave this one out the way we can do whatever we like,” I encouraged and I pulled his head down one-handed so our lips met for the first time since the ceremony.

I spent another TWO FUCKING DAYS in bed. My scabs were falling off and slowly I could see what the scars will look like… ugly… ugly is what they’ll look like. Four rough lines just under half a centimetre wide ran almost the length of my forearm… one lay slap bang in the middle… that one was closer to a centimetre wide and was jagged, the doctor had tried but the grooved blade had made a mess. I rubbed the last of the scabs off in the shower. Inspecting the new addition to my skin. I felt tears sting my eyes… a Luna was supposed to be delicate… soft. My arm looked anything but.

I plonked down on the marble shelf that doubled up as seats. Of course I wasn’t good enough to be the Luna above Lunas… I proved that at my own fucking ceremony… I got attacked. I couldn’t defend myself because I’m weak. ‘there’s only one omega here… you’. He was right.

‘She was only an omega. I don’t even get why I liked her, she’s weak’. He was right too. I’m weak… I’m an omega. Having an original mark me, made no difference. Being crowned High Luna made no difference.

Salty tears mixed with the warm water. I didn’t even feel like I deserved to be in that shower… too good for me. Damian makes me happy… but do I really make him happy? How could I? I slip slowly to the floor wanting to hug something… right now my knees are the perfect hugging companion. I didn’t want Damian to know I was upset, it was the first time I’d been alone in days… so I finally allowed all my thoughts to wrap around me and stab me. I cried into my knees allowing the drumming water of the shower to cascade over my head.

“You didn’t fall again did you?” Fuck. Damian. I stand quickly (a little too quickly)

“No.” My back still to him as I try to control the silent tears I’d been shedding

“What’s the matter?” Thick arms were around me in seconds… no. no he’s going to make me cry. Compose… control. “Nothing,” my voice too thick with emotion to be convincing. Damian turned me slowly in his arms. “You can tell me,” his voice soft and comforting. I shook my head. Looking at his shirt that was getting increasingly heavier as it’s soaking under the shower. His thumbs came up to my cheeks wiping away the water mixed with tears.

“Please tell me.” I took a shuddering breath as I felt fresh tears swim in my eyes

“I’m not good enough for you,” I said quietly. I couldn’t look up to his face, so I kept looking at his shirt. “We’ve been through this my love, you’re mine. I don’t give a shit who you think you are, you’re my queen,” his voice hard and serious.

I build up all my courage and strength “No I’m not Damian… I’m an omega. Just an omega.” I bite out and I push past him eliciting a healthy stab of pain through my arm. I strode quickly, dripping water all over the marble floor as I went to the dressing room, throwing on joggers and a t-shirt. I nearly made it to the door when Damian grabbed my wrist. “It’s not safe, don’t go.” I twisted my arm free

“Good… they’ll make it easier for you to find someone better.” I strode as quickly as I could away. Damian needs to find his true mate… because I’ve convinced myself I’m not her.

I don’t make it far.

Damian slammed me against a wall pinning me with his hands either side of my head “Don’t you dare say that! Don’t you fucking dare!” he shouted into my face. His fury evident. I gulped and blinked up to him. I dropped my head from his piercing glare “I can’t make you happy,” my voice quieter than a mouse. “I’m weak… I let someone hurt me… I showed I’m not worthy to be yours… I showed everyone how weak I am.” Damian dropped to his knees in front of me. His hands on my hips and his face buried into my stomach. And I heard a sob.

My eyebrows knitted together, a tear drying on my cheek as I look down to the top of his head. His fingers dug in as I heard more sobs emanate from him. “Every single wolf let you down. No-one should have been allowed to touch you,” his voice cracked through his sobs. “The only thing that could kill me is losing you. Please don’t think this way. I love you. I love you. I can’t let you go.” I stood there motionless. Stunned with his sudden emotion. “Omnia mea, ne derelinquas,” he said thickly through his tears. I didn’t know what to say.

I didn’t say it to hurt him… I said it to free him.

Omnia mea, ne derelinquas - Translation - My everything, never leave