Chapter Chapter Five: Matching Scars
Lalauri Imafenduwell
The Old Aureate Wing
Imafenduwell Hall
As things wrapped up for the evening, Lalauri settled in for the night. Unlike Keridwen’s bedroom—which was a large but traditional square room with a fourposter bed—Lalauri’s “bedroom” was a much more “open” concept. The bed was in the middle of one of the Hall’s large greenhouses. A nice wide open space with trees lining the glass walls around her, a nightstand on either side of her bed, along with a lamp that she could use when she needed it. She also had ensured that a long string of cozy light bulbs were lit and wrapped around the trees in the room to give her a nice, cozy, yet dim glow to act as a night light.
She let out a deep groan as she finally laid down and began to decompress—the coolness of the sheets filling her with much needed relief as she sunk into her bed for the first time in months.
“A child.” She said to herself. “What am I going to do with a child? And Anxo…oh, Anxo…and poor Gennady.” Her mind went over the events of the quest. The highs, the lows, and, of course, the losses.
Not for the first time, Lalauri took in the events that led to the death of those whom she’d had the great pleasure of befriending over the course of her latest quest. This was a mistake, of course. It always ways. But how could she say no to the temptation of analyzing what went wrong? Maybe this would be the time that doing so would allow her to find the key to keeping all those she allowed into her life, safe in her company.
It’s not about torturing myself. It’s not.
“I should have refilled my silverbrew before I left the tavern!” she then said to herself aloud. “No…what I should have done is make sure that we simply left that village. I should have taken all of my paladins—and even Gennady—and we should have just ran. Damn the repercussions! Drag them all out of there myself if I have to!”
Lalauri winced and turned on her side as a sharp pain jolted through her stomach, triggering an all-too-familiar wave of guilt and shame.
“They see it too. My weakness. Damn that Councillor and all her peacemakers! If I had even saved at least one of my fellow paladins, they never would have dared to set foot on my grounds uninvited—to challenge me like that, and in front of my household, no less…I’ll bet I know what happened too. From the moment I told that Mogorian idiot what happened when we returned to camp…ugh, I’d bet anything that he told everyone who would listen how ‘the great Lalauri Imafenduwell’ had spectacularly failed him. And the whole time I was trying to get back home, that story would have spread through the Greater Wilderness like wildfire! And when that news reached here—Aureate, my home—that would have been when Gausswinder and her dog smelled the blood in the water…like the sharks that they really are!”
Lalauri realized she was no longer in her bed and that the pain in her stomach was so intense that she could only pace around her room to sort out her thoughts. The second realization was that the odds of her actually getting any sleep that night were at that point slim to none. She had officially worked herself up into a properly sour mood.
“And what were you thinking?!” she was now shouting at the skylight of her room at the top of her lungs at Yggomni—the God who amazingly saw fit to burden her with another life that would surely be lost despite her best efforts—or perhaps even because of her actions. “Giving me a child? Me?! I am not a mother!” Lalauri screamed as her voice cracked and tears welled in her eyes. She sank to her knees on the earthy ground of the greenhouse-bedroom. “…I’m not qualified to be the girl’s mother…how am I going to do this?”
With her legs having finally given in due to sheer exhaustion—Lalauri fell to the ground and into a fetal position, tears streaming down her face as she sobbed. Her mind was now plagued with the memories of her friends’ brutal deaths playing out on repeat before her mind over and over again in near perfect detail.
“I’m sorry Anxo…Gennady…I’m…I’m sorry!”
When she finally drifted off to sleep, Lalauri’s mind receded into a dream world where she was completely cut off from the world. It was a world where all the friends and family she had lost over the millennia were still alive.
Although, even in her dreams, there was no such thing as total solace.
Many of the oldest of faces of those who had fallen on her watch had long since faded or were beginning to do so. One could be forgiven for thinking that this fading might have lessened the weight of her guilt. It didn’t. It only meant that those souls were now lost to Lalauri, both in life and in memory.
Lalauri had no way of telling how long she stayed in this state of non-sleep for. What she knew, though, was that someone had begun abruptly shaking her awake, prying her from any chance of a minor reprieve that her dreams might have given her.
“What is it?” Lalauri bellowed at the intruder, her words somewhat slurred from her deep slumber. “What’s the matter? Why have you disturbed me?!”
“Miss Lalauri, I’m sorry—so sorry!” came Cecil’s voice. “It’s the girl—it’s Keridwen! You must come to her room at once! She’s screaming in her sleep! Lalauri, please wake up! Something is very wrong with Keridwen!”
It wasn’t until they got much closer to Keridwen’s bedroom that they heard the little girl’s screams echoing through the halls. Then, when she reached the hallway that Keridwen’s bedroom was down, Lalauri saw the little girl’s magic; the entire hallway was burning with blue flames that burned brighter with every sob and cry from the little girl, as if the sound itself was stoking it.
“My word…” Cecil said breathlessly.
“Keri!” Lalauri screamed. “Cecil, put out the fire!”
Nulliwumps had the innate ability to cancel out magic—it’s what earned their race the nickname of “Null Wardens”. With a firm clap of his hands, a shock-wave burst forth from Cecil that beat back at the flames. He kept doing this until all that remained were the scorched floorboards and wallpaper of the hallway.
“Miss Lalauri, what on earth is happening?!”
“She’s having a nightmare!” Lalauri answered as they bolted for Keridwen’s bedroom door. “She’s been having them ever since we left Khar Vell…but they’ve never been this bad before…”
Upon reaching the door, Lalauri slammed it open with her shoulder. She gasped at the sight of the scene inside; Keridwen’s bedroom was being trashed apart by her magic. As the little girl cried out in her sleep, the small round kids’ table, chairs, dresser, and wardrobe all seemed to come to life, floating and thrashing about the room.
“What’s going on in—oh my goodness!” Cecil’s wife Isolde appeared behind them—with Eldon and Elara behind her.
“Isolde—all of you—quickly now!” Cecil urged his family. “Together, we can put all of this to rest so we can tend to the girl. Quickly now!”
With hands raised and eyes closed, the nulliwumps worked their nullifying power and the chaos of the room subsided. When everything was finally safe enough to do so, Lalauri and the nulliwumps rushed to Keridwen’s bedside and began trying to shake her awake.
“Keridwen, wake up!” said Lalauri. “Wake up, Little One! It’s just a dream—your having a nightmare! Just wake—”
Another scream came from the girl, and with it a blast of magic forced Lalauri with a yelp and actually sent the nulliwumps flying off of the bed.
Lalauri was now at a total loss. What was she supposed to do? Almost instantly, her doubts crept back in again.
I am not a mother! I’m…I’m…I am not qualified for this…I don’t know what to do! Yggomni! Lorraullion, please! Help me help her!
“Comfort her.” Said a calm voice from behind her.
Lalauri whipped around to find that the nulliwumps were all now covering in a corner next to the door. All of them were staring at the beasts that were walking into the room. They were the massive mountain hounds that were woven from the stars of a twilight sky. The Hounds of Twilight had arrived to aid their young charge. And addressing her now was the leader of their pack, Razzalar.
“Comfort her, how?” Lalauri shouted over Keridwen’s crying. “What am I supposed to do?!”
“The child’s mind is aflame with the memory of the horrors that were inflicted on herself and her people,” Said Razzalar. “Lay next to her. Hold her tightly and sing to the girl. Allow her to feel that she is not alone in her grief.”
For a moment, Lalauri blinked at the celestial hound. Could it really be that simple?
And so, choosing to trust the hound and not waste time, Lalauri rushed to lie down on the bed beside the sobbing, sleeping child and pulled her into a snug hug. Then, after a moment of thinking, Lalauri hummed a soft tune into the girl’s ear. It was an elven tune that she hadn’t heard herself in a very long time, but knew by heart. When she was younger and still grieving the loss of her own parents, Lalauri’s grandmother would sing this tune to her while she tried to sleep. The notes of the wordless tune were almost magical in its melody, but not enough so to make it whimsical. There was a subtle, solemn undertone to it as well. One that tried to meet the girl where she was at in her pain and relate to it—to connect with it in a way that words couldn’t.
To Lalauri’s relief, Keridwen quieted in her sobbing. Slowly but surely, the child was waking from her deep sleep. When her eyes finally cracked open, Keridwen looked up at Lalauri with red eyes.
“La…Lalauri?” Keridwen asked.
“Yes, little one. I’m here. It’s alright. It was just a dream. It was just a very bad dream.”
For a moment, Keridwen merely blinked at her. Then the tears flowed once more as she buried her face in Lalauri’s chest. “I keep seeing them. All of their faces…my mom and dad’s faces…I just want things to go back to the way they were! I just want my parents back!”
“I know, Keri. I know…”
For the next little while, no one said anything. The hounds, seeing that things were now under control, faded out of sight. The nulliwumps watched, silent in their corner still, but were by then more at ease with the child calm and her ever intimidating hounds gone from sight.
“Lalauri,” came Keridwen’s voice, now a little weak and coarse—no doubt from so much crying. “My stomach really hurts. I can’t stop thinking about what happened back home, and it’s making my stomach hurt.”
“Cecil?” said Lalauri.
“…Hmm? Oh—yes, Ma’am?”
“Could you please run and grab some bumbleberry tea for her, please?”
“Yes, I’ll get right on that.”
“…Actually, Cecil—”
“Yes, Ma’am?”
“Make that two cups of tea, please.”
“Of course, Ma’am.” And with that, Cecil quickly exited the room to get the tea.
Upon his return, Cecil gave Lalauri a cup and Keridwen a smaller tea cup, warning her it was hot.
“Now what do we say about that, Little One?” said Lalauri.
“…Thank you, Cecil. Thank you, Lalauri.”
“You’re welcome.” Lalauri and Cecil said in unison.
When the two finished their tea, they both handed their cups back to Cecil, and Lalauri began encouraging the little girl to go back to sleep.
“Wait! Can you stay here with me? Please, Lalauri?”
“Um…sure.” Said Lalauri. Although truthfully…she wasn’t planning on spending the entire night with the child.
However, given the circumstances…perhaps it would be better for the girl if I stayed a little while longer.
And so, Lalauri dismissed the nulliwumps for the night, being sure to thank them for their help before they left. As they closed the door behind them, both Lalauri and Keridwen began to setting into bed for the night.
“…Lalauri?” Keridwen asked suddenly, just when Lalauri had thought she had nodded off.
“Yes, little one?”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
“…You have to promise that you won’t think I’m silly for asking, though.” When she heard no immediate answer, she rolled over and looked Lalauri in the eye. “Promise?”
Lalauri blinked at the girl, confused. “Yes. I promise.”
“I…I know I’m still small…but I…was there something I should have done?”
“I don’t understand. What do you mean? When?”
“Back home. At my home. In my village. I keep trying to think of ways I could have stopped my parents from getting hurt and turning into monsters…but when I tried—when they started getting sick and hurting others…I couldn’t stop them. I just couldn’t stop them. Why couldn’t I stop them? I keep thinking that maybe if I was bigger then I could have saved them…but is too late now.”
Lalauri stared at the girl for a moment. Then she let out a deep, long sigh as she stroked the adorable eight-year-old’s white hair. “No, Keri. There’s nothing you could have done. Nothing at all.”
“…Okay…” Keridwen answered back softly.
She then buried her face in Lalauri’s chest again, and eventually—finally—Little Keridwen fell asleep again. This time, in total peace, and snoring soundly.
Then, upon seeing that her work was done, Lalauri vaguely realized that her own eyes had become quite heavy. Keridwen’s yawn was the last thing Lalauri remembered before drifting off into a deep sleep, her arms tightly wrapped around the child.