Emissary

Stel awoke slowly and stiffly, sitting up to find herself under a thin, itchy blanket on the couch in the common area in the Motherwill. A quick inspection revealed her to be alone in the room, the faint thrumming of the ship's engine two bulkheads away told her the ship was in slipspace, and the faint sparking of a welder told her that Ryn was doing some repairs.

Rousing herself from the couch, Stel winced as her side stabbed with pain. She glanced down to find herself in a jumpsuit with her midriff exposed. The jumpsuit revealed that the scarred tissue from her recent gun wound had split slightly and a fresh bandage that was slightly peeled away revealed a small trickle of blood. She slapped the bandage back into place and stood, unsteady on her feet.

"I'd kill for a drink right about now..." the tired mech pilot grumbled as she stumbled to the galley to find the water reclaimer with a glass already underneath the spout. She smiled faintly, assuming Ryn had left it for her. She filled the glass and quickly drained it, gasping in relief as she wet her throat and refilled the glass, sauntering off towards the sound of sparks.

She found Ryn in the access hall in front of the cabins, working on the door to the bridge. The tiny portable welder sat like a lunch box beside him and the protective cap he wore folded his big, fluffy ears flat behind him and made him look rather funny. Stel stifled a laugh as he perked up and turned around, his big welding goggles giving his triangular face an odd bulbous shape.

"You're awake." He said simply.

"You're busy." Stel replied.

The two shared a short laugh and Ryn set his gear aside, standing and pulling off his outer protective gear, shucking the cap and protective jacket onto the floor beside the welder and letting the goggles dangle around his neck.

"I don't think you should be standing yet. Go. Sit." The fennec ordered as he spun Stel around and walked her back to the couch, plopping her down and pulling a chair of his own up to sit across from her. He eyed her carefully, making pointed looks at her wounded side. "You lived." He said quietly.

Stel paused, reading a particular note of pain in his voice. "You came and saved me. I thought you didn't owe anyone anything. That's why you wanted to leave the colony for dead. And me. A couple times. Or, at least you say you do."

Ryn's face stiffened and he stood suddenly, shaking his head as his tail puffed up slightly. "We're not having this conversation, kid." He started to walk away, but Stel reached out to grab his coattail as he walked by.

"Who's Mila?"

Ryn froze properly this time, his body stiff from ear to tail. He slowly turned to glare at Stel, a slight shudder in his jaw belied anger or sadness. Stel guessed at both.

"She was my mate. My only love. Happy?" He yanked his jacket from Stel's hand and sauntered towards the bridge. Stel almost let him go, but stood and began to follow.

"No. I'm not happy. You yelled that name when you came to rescue me. I don't recall anything you said after that, I think I passed out... but-"

Ryn whirled around just as he reached the door to the bridge, the door having slid open at his touch of the keypad. "You must have misheard. You were delirious when I pulled you out and patched you up." He walked off again, slapping the door panel to shut the door behind him. It would have, if Stel hadn't stepped in after him.

"It was your upgrade that fried my suit. If I hadn't gotten lucky, you'd be one passenger light. Two, probably, because the Emissary would be space dust now. But beyond that, why did you yell your mate's name? I'm not her."

Ryn finally turned and yelled, his composure gone. "You're not her! That's the point! You stupid human, you just so infuriatingly remind me of her, it's insufferable!" He trembled for a moment, his stance that of someone ready for a prolonged shouting argument, but he collapsed into his captain's chair and lowered his head into his hands, whispering, "But she's gone. She's not coming back. And now you're here, like some sort of sick ghost, haunting me."

Stel stayed quiet, both out of surprise at his outburst and pity and shame for his sudden collapse. She moved and took the nearest seat to the tired old fennec and leaned towards him. "Estella."

Ryn slowly looked up to the human, a couple feet between them.

"You said 'nobody's just called Stel' and you were right. My name's Estella. Tell me about Mila..."

Ryn chuckled softly, a crack in his laugh, and sat up and slumped in his chair. "Called it." He huffed and his eyes faded into a thousand-yard stare, "She was the bravest, boldest, most stubborn, and unrelenting being this galaxy ever knew. She would have fought off the Nalesh with her fists if she had to. And she did, a couple times. She was the leader of a wing of mech suits, four to a wing. I was her launch pilot. Used to fly the whole squad..."

Stel frowned. "I thought you flew the Motherwill the whole time."

Ryn shook his head slowly. "It's my dad's ship, I mentioned that, right? Well, it became mine after he retired. Before then... I flew with him but was upgraded to a launch ship for Mila and her crew. The battles we fought, the revelries had..." He let out a scoff of a laugh and deflated even further. "And I still couldn't save her." He took a deep breath and sighed it all out, "We were sent to investigate a possible Nalesh'ka hive. They'd been 'wiped out', supposedly, but there were some concerned citizens and missing freighters, so we were sent out."

Ryn stared at Stel for the first time since he'd gotten into his chair. "The Nalesh'ka were far more numerous than we could fathom. I dropped out of slipspace and we were immediately under attack. Like they were waiting for us. I did all I could to launch and protect the mechs on their way out, but Jav's bay was hit. Died in his launch tube. Kinnis couldn't do much without her flight partner and Mila and Nile were overwhelmed on the opposite side. The three of them tried, but Kinnis went down. Shredded, nothing left to recover. Mila told me to run. Go and get help..." Ryn looked at Stel for a long, quiet moment, his eyes glistening and face twitching. "I left her. Because she told me to. To go get help. And now you're here, doing the exact same thing. Leaving the colony, going to get help, and there's gonna be nothing left to recover when you go back in your little one-mech ship that your father gave you. And the only evidence that the love of your life was ever there is what you say, because the Nalesh take and repurpose anything they salvage."

Ryn grunted and stood, tapping at the console to bring up the autopilot and show their travel progress through slipspace. It showed they were only two days away from Old Earth. "So yeah. You're here like some sort of haunting ghost. As stubborn as she was, and bringing back all kinds of memories. You've got first watch. I'm done."

Stel could only watch in silence as the tired old fox sauntered to the access door and the thing jammed. He looked like he wanted to swear and kick it, but he only managed a half-hearted sigh and soft tap with his boot before taking the long way around to his bunk room, not looking at Stel as he made his way to the other exit from the bridge.

Stel sat back in her seat and thought about what was said. She wanted to offer some sort of encouragement to Ryn, but didn't have the words. As the door to the common area slid shut, she spun her seat slowly to stare at the stretched lines of slipspace running past the ship.

She thought about what he'd said. About how home might be gone when she gets back. About the Nalesh salvaging anything they could.

Stel began to consider that she might not survive this mission after all...