elimination

I sit on the floor of the Practical Training room while my eyes glaze over the writing on my tablet. To my great surprise the past week of the new Practical Training has been made up of what could be considered typical academic work. We read and we write essays. The text is entitled “On the Proper Orientation of Human Values.”

“All actions taken by an individual regarding another individual whether positive or negative for said individual, reflect only the personal interests of the individual performing the action.”

I don’t think it would be humanly possible for them to word that any more badly. I run the tangled words through my brain until they finally make sense: any nice or mean thing you do to or for someone else is only a reflection of your own selfish interests. Simple enough, yet masked by the worst possible portrayal, I lose faith in the “she” who writes our textbooks once again.

“Through said principle does not always make sense immediately, through further study of psychology and an understanding that the two fundamental goals of life are survival and reproduction, it becomes evident this always holds true. Even in the ultimate form of sacrifice, choosing to preserve the life of another over one’s own life, said decision is made because it is the least painful decision to make for the one making the sacrifice. Somehow within the circumstances of their life it gives them more emotional satisfaction to sacrifice themselves then to keep themselves alive, ultimately still a selfish interest.”

“Therefore the sacrifice itself is not to be praised as a true sacrifice at all. The other person is irrelevant, for the individual making the sacrifice is only doing so in interest of their own emotional satisfaction. There is no so called “nobility” in sacrifice or in kindness because it makes people emotionally self satisfied to engage in these acts. Therefore all acts of selflessness are truly selfish.”

An inexplicable cold flows through me as I begin to understand. Some irrational part of my brain has been activated making me oddly uncomfortable. I feel like I have forgotten something I ought to remember, or like I’m overlooking something important. It’s as though somewhere in these words something is incorrect. Yet there is no logic in this feeling, this text—though poorly constructed for the purpose of teaching—makes perfect sense.

“One must understand that though deeply ingrained on an archaic, animalistic level to guarantee the survival of the human race, these irrational tendencies towards the preservation of others are harmful. They directly harm the self and are detrimental to the analytically derived objectives of those in positions of authority who pursue the well being and efficiency of society as a whole.”

“Motive for affiliation and archaic concepts of the sacredness of human life have the potential to bring about the downfall of efficient society and humanity itself. Throughout the remaining weeks of this course you shall be engaging in activities especially developed to exterminate the remaining traces of these harmful human tendencies. All who cling to them will themselves be deemed a threat to efficient society and face dire consequences.”

Something about the information I have just read still feels uncomfortable yet I have neither the energy nor the time to delve into these irrational emotions. I suppose there is logic in the words before me. What their ramifications will be I can not presently know.