elimination

I close the door to Bump Nose’s room and shut my eyes for a moment leaning against the back wall of the hallway. I tense up my fists, digging my nails into my palms. Then I tense up the rest of my arms, and my legs and my core until I am simultaneously twisting every muscle fiber of my body into stone. Then I release. I open my eyes and take a cold shaky breath, intently regarding the pristine grey ceiling. Finally my feet begin to walk. My lungs breathe in and out and my heart beats and my blood flows. My mind doesn’t seem to directly control any of it. My mind is dead. I reach the base of the concrete stairs and move to open the door, but before my hand turns the knob even 5 degrees I am stopped by a sound behind me.

A voice calls my number from the darkness. I turn to see 14, an indescribable look in his eyes. I recognize it though. It’s the same look that’s in my eyes. His mind is dead too. With this my lips spread into a brilliant grin. How very lovely for both of us to have dead minds. He leans back against the wall, arms crossed casually: “So we aren’t coming back after tomorrow.” I lean back against the wall perpendicular to his, a small smirk crossing my face as I begin to speak. “So we aren’t indeed.” Silence presses down on us as does the darkness, as does the time. The very essence of time surrounds us, pressing up against our lungs, pulling our shoulders down. We are drowning in our own mortality. I press onward, my voice becoming a soft teasing thing with velvety inflection: “So what would you like to do about it?”

He lets out a ragged exhale and uncrosses his arms. Finally he steps toward me, right arm extended. He gently takes my chin in his right hand and brings my lips to his. Slowly and softly he kisses me, digging his teeth into my lower lip as he withdraws. His bite is only enough to cause the slightest twinge of pain; to solidify the location of my lower lip between his teeth for all eternity. I pull him into me, pushing both of us into the freezing wall. Time is pressing harder now, I can feel its waters pooling at our feet, thrashing around our ankles. Soon it will be at our lips and it will all be over. We begin to kiss faster, more deliberately, his tongue pressing me into the wall. We kiss until his long skinny fingers have found their way to the clasp on my pants. Then suddenly he stops and takes a step back. For a moment he just stands there looking at me, his eyes glowing dimly in the darkness. Then he takes my frail frame and pulls it into a bone-crushing embrace.

We just stand there like that for what feels like hours, the time beginning to swirl up our legs, reaching the base my rib cage. I feel tears pooling in my eyes, but I restrain them. The warmth of his breath flows into me, filling my lungs until I can no longer remember what it feels like to be cold. I wish we could stay here forever, wrapped in darkness and warmth, but I know we can’t. As I begin to feel the time sloshing around my neck I pull out of his embrace and take both of his hands in mine. For a moment I bring them to my lips, then I uncurl his fingers and move them once again to the clasp on my pants. He looks deep into my eyes for a moment, asking. I bring my lips to his.