Dufaii - The Patron Saints of the Damned Book I

Chapter 2

Memories of the Godkiller

“It was a tremendous thing, watching one angel soul after another take form. They seemed to appear from the ether itself as the Creator passed from one birthing place to the next. The Lightbringer, Gabriel, Michael, and I had not long existed, and already there were nearly 6000 invisible souls slowly manifesting as children.

Fortunately, they were not helpless like the young of animals. It wasn’t long before they were exploring Heaven and then the physical realm. There, they observed that the peoples of the mortal realm had bodies with specific functions as well as a limited ability to express their inner selves.

Inspired, the ethereal children took solid forms. They grew into the identities that they felt inside, developing their colors, their scars, their shapes, their genders, and every way they wished to outwardly manifest who they were inside.

However, each developed the same golden eyes as the Creator and the same brilliant feathered wings of our eldest sibling, the Lightbringer. I think we all felt inspired to take on these as … well … perhaps as a show of kinship to one another.

-from “Birth of Angelkind” by the Archangel Raphael

-O-

A formless spirit found themselves looking at a small wooded clearing in the early morning. The air was cool in the small clearing, and there was a thin fog. The spirit, only moments earlier, had not seen anything. They had not even been. Suddenly, they saw. Not only that, they could now change what they were looking at. They turned their view so that they saw more saplings scattered along the ground.

Some day, the saplings would be a forest. The spirit did not know how they knew that information. They simply knew that the green and brown things sticking up out of the ground were alive, that they would grow, and that they were called ‘trees.’ It was obvious in their mind, though they could not put into words why it was so. In fact … they were not they. Rather, this being was a singular entity which felt decidedly like he.

But what to call this he? The spirit pondered for a few moments, pulling sounds together that sounded right. Finally, he came to the name, Dufaii.

Dufaii liked how this word sounded. He noted that he also liked connecting what he saw, felt, and smelled to the information embedded in his mind. Like the loose black soil beneath him, it felt cool and pleasant as his incorporeal presence rested upon it.

There was something alive in the dirt as well, a large toad. When it lazily hopped away from him, he noted that it left behind prints of its feet and body. He then looked down at the dirt where he himself stood and noted with delighted fascination that the weight of his formless presence did not create a solid footprint of any kind. Rather his form weighed lightly upon the earth in a circle, as if gravity were just a little stronger where he was than it was anywhere else.

Dufaii tried to look at himself. He saw nothing at first. Then, after a moment, the clouds moved and allowed a beam of sunlight to shine directly upon him. It was then that he saw a collection of thin silvery threads that rose from where he felt the ground, up to the vantage point where he saw from, so much higher in elevation than the toad.

Now able to see better, Dufaii turned to look at what might be behind him. That was when he saw something that was not a tree or a toad.

They were a moving being … tall with charcoal-colored skin and a brown robe. They had a head situated upon a torso, which was held by two legs and connected to two arms. Somehow, the shape, density, and colors seemed right and natural for a creature of this solid world.

The being stood still, looking off the edge of the mountain. They then turned to reveal a clean-shaven face and golden eyes that seemed to gently flicker like a flame. Their skin was dark like the beautiful obsidian stones scattered along the ground. Though their eyes looked alert, there were circles beneath them that made them also look tired. Their cheekbones, brow, and jaw created a visage that seemed severe.

The visage was eerily similar to how Dufaii viewed himself. As if the being had stolen the body that was supposed to be his own. Not that it was perfect, of course. The being had round shapes on the upper portion of their body, and curves throughout their shape. And while they were pleasing to see, they did not seem right for Dufaii to wear. No … he decided that his body would be lean and angular. That was the form that would feel like home to him.

“Welcome. I’m happy to meet you, Dufaii.” The being spoke these words by opening a hole in the bottom of their face. In this way, they made sounds. Their voice was soft and their lips curled into an expression that was warm–a smile. This smile seemed to grow warmer and softer until it began to physically change.

The being’s features became even more delicate, rounder. Their skin became olive, and her hair went from black to dark brown. They were no longer familiar to Dufaii, except for the golden eyes. They said, “Would you like to see another small part of who you are?”

Dufaii nodded and followed them toward a row of saplings. The two walked together in silence for a little while. As they did, Dufaii began to notice differences between the various small trees. Some had gray bark with round markings; others had loose and fluffy brown bark. The leaves were even more diverse, with a variety of shapes and colors that ranged between shades of green, purple, yellow, and brown.

“They all have their own tastes, functions, characters, identities,” the being said, looking back at him. They somehow knew where his attentions rested. “You’ll enjoy learning them and especially the secrets they hide. I do … especially the parts of me that I’ve given to you.”

Dufaii felt like they were right. This gave him a sudden and odd sense of excitement at the prospect of learning more. He followed until they reached another clearing next to a waterfall. There, they sat down on a large rock, cross-legged.

Dufaii rested next to them, on the ground. He had no solid form, so it was more like his incorporeal form relaxed and drew closer to the ground.

“This creation will contain a portion of my affinity for water,” the being said. They dipped their hand into the stream, which came from the waterfall. “I’ll lose a bit of my affinity, but I’ll have someone to share it with. I am so excited for the days ahead, when we can all learn together.”

Dufaii watched the being and listened to them speak. All the while, he began to piece together exactly what they were doing. “You’re making another one like me?”

The being smiled and replied, “I’m creating someone entirely unique. In form, they will be like the shape I currently carry. And soon they will become your brother, your sister, or your sibling. Whatever they choose. I thought … I thought you would be a sister to the rest. It’s delightful that you know yourself better already than even I could have.”

Dufaii wondered for a moment, how it was that this being could already know so much about him. But another inner thought, regarding their change in shape, distracted him from that initial thought. His mind had fixated on what they had looked like at first, a physical form that had seemed like it almost should have been his. “Will they look exactly like you do, now?”

The being lifted a hand out and teetered it a bit uncertainly, “Maybe in part. But this small beginning piece of a soul is only a small portion of who you will become. Each of you will encounter much in life and make many choices. These will have a far greater impact on who you become and how the eventual shape of your soul, both physically and on the inside. Perhaps they will take my current form or maybe they will take a form that is entirely new. It is up to them to say. Just like it is up to you.”

The being smiled at him affectionately and then touched the center of their own chest with her index finger. When they did, the place began to softly glow with yellow light. A small fragment of that light fragmented from the rest and started to float in front of them. The being then used their index finger to trace an outline around the floating light. Slowly, the fragment of light faded, and a translucent and nearly formless creature took its place. It was barely visible except for a silvery string outline that floated a few inches above the ground.

Dufaii looked to his own body to compare it to this new creature’s. Immediately, he noticed that his form had already changed. It wasn’t much, but the space between the silver strings had begun to fill in with what looked like blue vapor. He wanted to ask about this but found that he had no way of addressing the being who had made him. So he simply decided to ask, “What is your name?”

“My friend calls me Creator, but you may call me what feels meaningful,” they replied.

The first thought to popped into Dufaii’s mind was, Mother. Like his own name, this felt right.

Mother smiled again and nodded their consent. They seemed pleased … but their eyes also looked a little more tired. They said, “The Lightbringer will meet you soon and give you guidance for when I go to sleep. You can trust the Lightbringer as you would trust me. Perhaps even more so, for they are the greatest part of the protective spirit that was within me. Though I wish I had more time to speak with you, my energy is leaving me, and my time is short. I must meet this newly born soul and then create the next. Hopefully, after I have slept and awakened, we will have more time.” Though she said this last bit with hope, there was a spark of something … a fear … a sadness … a doubt.

Dufaii felt confused; he didn’t know how to respond or how to express his want to see her again. He said the first thing that came to mind. “I will ask you about the plants when I see you again.”

For a second, the Creator looked a little bit more pleased than tired. A few droplets of something fell from their eyes and cascaded down their full cheeks. They knelt in front of him and touched his forehead with her own.

The gesture felt just as odd and new to Dufaii as everything else. So, he allowed it to happen, without any response. When they both finally had to pull away, however, Dufaii felt a sting in his own eyes followed by moisture on his own cheeks.

-O-

It was mid-morning, with a few clouds in a mostly bright sky. Dufaii, in his dusty green robes, watched as a bee flew into the flower of a honeysuckle. His back rested upon the trunk of a large tree; the bark felt good against his gray feathered wings. The forest had grown in the centuries since his creation.

He had too, for that matter. In terms of size and development, his form had sort of naturally taken that of what would have been considered a young adolescent to gods or humans. That made him older than most other angels, other than the Archangels and the Lightbringer. They were all like young adult humans and gods, though they were surely wiser and more intelligent. At least, that was what Dufaii thought, based on his limited interactions with the beings of the mortal realm.

Dufaii watched the bee until it flew away, probably back to its hive, judging by how heavily dusted with pollen it was. With the subject of his attention gone, he took a stem out of a honeysuckle flower and placed it between his lips, tasting hints of the fragrance. He then looked out past the trees.

He was on a hill at the foot of the six peaks of Heaven. Through the trees, he could see almost the entire island. There were miles of pastures, forests, wetlands, and other biomes between the beaches that surrounded the island. Many angels gathered around the enormous center lake, as well as a handful of mortal souls. The mortal souls were a recent oddity, some faerie people and a few humans whose souls had not been devoted to any particular god.

Raphael had explained it after the most recent excursion to Earth–when all angels were to learn more about the mortal realm. She had explained that most souls added to the strength of the deities they worshiped.

For the souls, it was like entering a room which had been promised for them and their fellow worshipers for eternity. The gods themselves were the only ones who could see into these rooms. Without a god or for a god who had been killed by another, the souls seemed helplessly drawn directly to the Creator. And once they reached Heaven, it seemed there was no escape.

One of the humans had even tried to return to the mortal realm to find her family, but neither she nor the angels had been able to send her back. It seemed mortal souls without a mortal body were bound to the Creator as if by the insurmountable gravitational pull of a planet. Without further recourse, these mortals built little shelters like they’d inhabited in the mortal realm and taught the angels all they knew about the Earth.

As Dufaii watched them, he heard a trumpet sound from the lake. It was the signal for all angels to join there, together. He stood, ran several feet, jumped, and let his wings catch him. He smiled as he rose above the tress and then soared down in a direct path toward the lake. The wind blew in his face and through his feathers.

A few other angels also flew from woods near where he had been, all in groups. Most of the angels came from the beaches or where they had been flying above the clouds. All eventually reached the lake, finding areas large enough for them to land. Many of the younger angels landed and then rolled and tumbled, thinking it great fun judging by their laughs. The few older ones impressed the younger angels by diving dangerously close to the ground and catching themselves at the absolute last moment.

Dufaii thought about doing some like that … he knew he had the ability to. However, some inner nervousness at their glances dissuaded him, and he landed gently at the edge of the amassing crowd of angels.

A few younger angels who had been watching him with anticipation grimaced and then turned to look out for better aerial acrobats.

Dufaii also grimaced at himself, once nobody was looking, and retroactively thought of all the things he could have shown them. Maybe he could have gone in for a hard landing and slammed the ground with his fist dramatically. It was too late now, though.

The three Archangels rose so that they were the only ones flying above the rest. The Archangel Gabriel had black wings and dark brown skin. He was athletically shaped, entirely bald, and wore orange robes. The Archangel Michael had pale skin, black hair that blew with the wind, and wings patterned in an assortment of browns like a falcon. Instead of robes, he wore clothing that was cut to stay closer to his larger and more muscular body. The Archangel Raphael was slightly shorter, had light brown skin, straight black hair, and a figure that featured prominent curves.

“Brother and sisters,” Raphael said, gaining the angels’ attention as she hovered in place over the lake. While she could have only been softly speaking the words, she also sent out a psychic projection so that any angel could hear just by seeing her eyes. “Today we plan another excursion to the mortal realm, this time in groupings of two.”

The combined psychic energy, or auras, of the angels became instantly wild and electric with excitement. The angels immediately began to approach the water, where they would form portals to go to the mortal realm. Already, the angels began to partner up, everyone grabbing their closest friends and chattering happily.

Dufaii looked around for anyone else who might be looking for a partner. In the past, the angels had usually gone out in larger groups, so he had managed to tag along with a smaller group of friends. This became more difficult whenever they had to pair up. He eventually saw a trio of friends playing some game to randomly decide which of the two would pair up and which friend would need to look for a partner.

When it was decided, Dufaii waved and smiled at the one that had lost the game. He was a younger angel with silvery skin and spiked blue hair. The blue-haired angel gave a polite wave, but his disappointment was obvious.

“Hey, guess your friends paired up too? I’m Jiovanni,” the young angel said.

“Oh, yes, they did… I’m Dufaii.” he lied, suddenly too embarrassed to tell the truth.

It wasn’t that Dufaii didn’t want to be part of a group. He just … struggled to fit in. He had regular fits of embarrassment over things that he suspected other angels hardly noticed, like when he’d failed to impress at flying earlier. He also frequently found himself overthinking situations and what he would say to people.

By the time Dufaii finally thought of the right thing to say or do, it was usually too late. Sort of like now, as he reflected on this quietly instead of running to the water like everyone else was.

Fortunately, Jiovanni didn’t seem to mind, yet. He probably wasn’t sure what to expect, partnering up with an older angel.

Dufaii noticed that the few other older angels moved a little slower, a little more collected than the eager younger angel. So, he tried to play at doing the same. “Let’s find a place at the water.”

“Uh-” Jiovanni said and glanced back at his friends. “Is it alright if we just go with them?”

Dufaii nodded, fine with the plan; he didn’t mind joining a larger group. He followed the younger angel to the two other angels, one with reddish skin tones and another with darker skin like Dufaii’s. They both also had spiked blue hair, no doubt a commemoration of their friendship.

Dufaii nodded at each of them and noticed that neither had begun to open a portal. It was something of a difficult task, one had to exert the pure essence of their soul slightly beyond their own physical boundaries in order to create a combustion-like effect with water that opened a portal. More difficult still was maintaining focus on the exact or general location one wished to connect to. So, Dufaii knelt by the water and asked, “Is there somewhere that you wanted to see?”

Jiovanni and his friends looked at one another and shrugged indifferently. The one with reddish skin asked, “Know of anywhere exciting?”

Dufaii thought for a moment, “There is an area that is heavily populated with humans and gods, a desert that is at the forefront of civilization in the mortal realm. Some mortals refer to it as the land between two rivers. It’s also the home of much plantlife that benefit intestinal wellbeing for physical bodies.” He realized as he was speaking that he had at some point lost the interest of the three younger angels, whose eyes held shields of politeness that were common among younger angels when enduring academic lectures from Raphael.

Dufaii realized they probably didn’t care. Like most younger angels, they would make their own fun wherever they ended up. So, he exerted his inner being a bit beyond the confines of his arm so that a silvery cord could just barely be seen between the tip of his pinky and his elbow. Then, he dragged his arm across the water to split the matter within. Immediately, silvery light shone and opened way to a portal.

“Thanks,” Jiovanni said a little awkwardly, and his friends also gave polite nods before leaping one at a time into the portals. It was just like jumping into any other body of water, except their bodies shimmered with silver light before vanishing entirely.

Dufaii watched them go and then stepped into the light himself. There was a rush of warm air and then the transition was instant … sort of like a blink, which he occasionally tried after seeing mortals do it. One moment he was falling in water and the next he was being launched straight up, sent flying over a small oasis with the sun overhead.

There were two palm trees surrounding the pond he had emerged from and various small plants. He recognized one plant in particular; it was small and green with fern leaves and a yellow flower. It was called shaterag, with leaves that were useful for treating skin disorders. Immediately, Dufaii landed to examine it.

Jiovanni, who descended from having been flying a little higher up, said, “Dufaii, is it alright if we meet you in the city? There’s something going on there and we really want to see.”

Dufaii looked up from his plant, suddenly able to make out the fain sounds of distant shouting. They weren’t far from a large city it seemed, about a mile from stone buildings that were far less primitive than the last time he had visit. He hesitated for a moment because they were supposed to stay in groups of two for safety. Only, in this case, the three angels would be as safe as everyone else. It was Dufaii himself who would not have anyone watching out. Then again, he was used to solitary work and was considered an older angel. Also, he was aware that the three of them were only including him out of a sense of duty and kindness.

Dufaii did not like the feeling that his presence was keeping them from fun. So he nodded and replied, “Sure, I’ll meet with you there if I can. Don’t feel you have to wait for me though … I’ll be fine here.”

Though Jiovanni probably didn’t intend to, his expression seemed relieved. He nodded politely and said, “Enjoy your time, then. It was good to meet you, Dufaii.”

Dufaii nodded back politely and then returned his attention to the plant. He intended to bring a sample back to Heaven. Not that anyone there needed medicinal knowledge, he simply enjoyed the research. One day, maybe he would share what he had learned with the mortals or the gods. The Archangel Raphael had spoken a time or two about beginning a collection of intellectual information and perhaps even beginning coordinated efforts for angels who were qualified for such work. A collection of utilities for the plethora of plantlife from the mortal realm seemed to Dufaii like something that would show his qualifications.

Also … maybe when that collection of angels was assembled, he would meet others like himself who wouldn’t be bored by him or made uncomfortable by his lack of social graces.

As Dufaii prepared to excavate the plant, along with a clump of native soil, he noticed a very small aura focus its attention upon him. He looked along the ground near the plant, where he sensed it, until he noticed what appeared to be a locust nestled in some dead plants. It was not a locust … there was too much focus in its energy.

Dufaii stared until he noticed a little round head with large black eyes peering up at him. He raised his eyebrows in surprise; this was a faerie wearing the exoskeleton of a locust like camouflaged armor. While some faerie species had intelligences rivalling that of the gods and mortals, most were simple, only slightly more intelligent than natural animals. This was a simple faerie, it seemed. They came in a variety of types, created by the gods, but they were mostly caretakers of the earth. Their joy and purpose were in maintaining small plants and animals favored by the gods.

Dufaii paused and studied the little faerie for a moment. It had leathery skin, the color of the sand. Its body was like that of a slender frog, making its round and almost anthropomorphic head seem somewhat out of place. Of course, it remained perfectly still as it hid with its locust exoskeleton disguise. Its energy seemed to be stress … worry.

Dufaii wondered why until he realized that it was probably for the plant he was about to harvest. Even if it was not made by the gods, it was still a plant that needed to be cared for.

“Don’t worry,” Dufaii said softly, projecting a calming aura toward the faerie in case it did not understand his words. He determined not to take the entire plant. Instead, he reached down to collect a seed pod in one hand while taking a handful of dirt in the other. Then, he reached for a second seed pod and extended it toward the faerie in a show of goodwill. “I can help you plant another, if you like. As a trade.”

This calmed the faerie, which crawled hesitantly out to take the pod. It looked up at Dufaii with its large black eyes.

Without warning, something small, yellow, and wriggly scuttled from behind Dufaii and pounced the faerie. Before he could react, Dufaii realized that a yellow spotted gecko with a fat tail had quickly swallowed up the little faerie and was now dashing away to safety. All that was left was a locust wing that had broken off from the rest of the exoskeleton during the attack.

Dufaii felt an odd sense of horror and numbness. This was the natural order, now, and it functioned with great efficiency. Faerie-fold were becoming increasingly scarce throughout the world, as the animals that the Earth produced consistently out-competed the little beings that came before. However, Dufaii couldn’t help but feel a little sorrow and a little guilt in what had become of his attempt to help the faerie. He pushed a small mound of sand over the broken wing and closed his eyes.

-O-

“There is much debate on the roles played by the gods and by the Earth in the creation of the natural order. As nearly all those creatures made directly by the gods eventually faced extinction, one could easily think that their role was limited to the formation of the Earth herself.

You would even be forgiven for not seeing how animal-life evolved to reflect the traits of the gods and the extinct creatures made directly by their hands. However, there is no mistaking the parentage of the humans who resemble the higher gods or the animals often shaped like the lower ones. This connection leads me to believe that the true role of the gods, male, female and otherwise, was that of a father.

Their creations were the seed absorbed by the fertile womb of the Earth, harsh mother of the natural realm and of those born to survive.”

-Archangel Raphael “A Cursory Examination of the Relationship Between the Natural and Divine Vol I” pg. 14