DROUGHT

I told Josh to park the truck in the neighbor’s garage and told the senior couple not to touch it or tell anyone we had parked the stolen truck in their garage. I went inside the house with my bag and my aching body. I don’t know what happened to me or why my body is sore. I have scratches and bruises. I also have tiny wounds, which I don’t understand why I have. I look at Josh; he is so scared of me, and I don’t know why. I went inside the room and put my bag on the floor. I look in the mirror and wonder why I am wearing the turban. I take it off and put it inside the bag. My daughters are sleeping, and Knight is not here. I don’t know where he went, but I don’t have time to find him because my body is aching. I feel like I travel far, which makes me tired.

“Where have you been?” Knight asked, and he was now standing at the front door, looking at me. I look at him, and I wonder.

“Why?”

“I am looking for you; when I woke up, you were not home, and Lucy was crying,” He said. I look at him and try to absorb what he says.

“Are you alright?” He asked while looking at my tiny wounds and bruises. He pretends that he is worried, but he doesn’t care. The pain that he caused is incomparable. He tries to touch me, but I refuse.

“I want to rest,” I said in a tired voice. He silently looks at me and leaves me alone inside the room.

I lay on the bed and covered my body with a blanket. I close my eyes and try to sleep even though I know I can’t sleep because I can still hear the gunshot and the moan from the people who cause me pain. It keeps on playing in my head like it is torturing me. His happy face while he is fucking his bitch like a dog makes me smile to hide the pain.

“Ma,” Ellie called me. I turn around to see her and smile at her. She went to me and hugged me, and I hugged her back. I try to touch her hair. It is rough and sticky already; she hasn’t taken a bath since last month.

“I had a dream that Josh is cheating on me,” She said, almost wanting to cry.

“It is just a dream, baby”, I said to comfort her.

“When this all be done?” She asked.

“I don’t know”, I answered. I kiss her on the cheek and close my eyes. I feel such relief whenever my children are in my arms.

“I hope the dryness will be over,” She said.

“I hope too”

“What happened to you, mom? why do you have wounds and bruises?” She asked while looking at my arms.

I looked at my arms and tried to remember what had happened. I don’t know why I have wounds and bruises, and I don’t understand why my body is aching, either. I noticed Joshua standing at the front door and looking at us. He is waiting for Ellie. I smiled at him, but he didn’t smile back at me. I noticed that he could not look at me as well. His head is bowed down. He wants to tell Ellie something.

“Josh”, I called him.

“I already put down the water,” He said like I was his master with his head down.

“What water?” I asked.

He looked at me with his wondering eyes and cleared his throat when he saw me looking straight at him. He looked scared of me, and I don’t know. I hadn’t seen him the whole day, and I didn’t even know what had happened to me, yet he looked at me like a scared cat.

“What’s wrong, Josh?” I asked him, but he shooked his head and answered, “Nothing.” Ellie looked at me and said, “I will be back, mom. I guess Josh needs something” I nodded, and she kissed me, and I watched her leave the room.

I stand up and look at myself in the mirror. I have tiny wounds on my face and bruises on my arms. I lifted my shirt, and I saw bruises on my body. “What happened to me?” I asked myself. I put my shirt down, and I look closer at the mirror.

“Haven’t you remembered?” The man inside my head asked me.

“Remember what?”

“Did I miss something?” I asked, talking to the man inside my head.

“Never mind, my wife Mary will tell you.”

“Who is Mary?”

I pick up the bag on the floor and check what is inside. I have guns, bread, milk, cracked eggs and a red turban. I don’t know how the eggs, bread and milk got inside my bag because I remember going inside the door behind the big cabinet. I took the guns and other weapons because someone was pushing me to hunt for water. I wore the turban, and I don’t know what happened next. Now, I have wounds and a sore body. I hurriedly took the eggs, bread and milk outside the bag and hid the bag inside the cabinet and covered it with the clothes when I heard Lucy calling me.

“Mama”, Lucy called me and hugged me. She is excited to see me, like I was gone for a long time. She is already awake and smiling at me.

“Hi, baby”, And I carry her and kiss her. She pointed me at the mirror and looked at me.

“What happened to you, mama?” She asked, but I didn’t answer because I didn’t know what had happened to me.

“What a tiring day,” Knight said. He returned after a few minutes of letting him out of the room. His hands are dirty, and he has skin rashes too. I didn’t bother to ask what happened. I didn’t mind him and pretended that I was not looking at him when I saw him looking at me.

“Are you alright?” He asked, but I didn’t answer. He came close to me and tried to touch my face, but I didn’t let him.

“What happened to you?”

“I am fine.”

“But you don’t look fine.”

“Don’t mind me” He tried to touch me again, but I tapped his hand and put Lucy in the bed.

“What’s the matter?” He asked, and I looked at him with a question in my head. How funny that he forgot!

“I just don’t want you to touch me anymore,” I said, and he was shocked. I sit on the bed and watch Lucy play while he silently stares at me. I took a deep breath and looked at him.

“I don’t know if I can save our marriage, but...” And then I stopped and sighed because I didn’t think if I needed to say it to him. He will not understand because of him. Once he said sorry and brought me flowers, everything would be alright, like it wasn’t painful anymore, but it is not like that, because until now it gives me a nightmare.

“Is it that because of what happened?” He asked me sincerely, like he wanted to explain again, but I didn’t want his explanation. I never wanted his explanation because what I saw was enough.

I shook my head, took a deep breath, and said, “I am sorry. I am just tired. Leave me alone.” I don’t want to open any conversation with him.

“Honey”, He tried to hug and sit beside me, but I pushed him away.

“Please”,

“Just go”, and without a word, he left.

I lay down on the bed while Lucy was playing with her toys. I am watching her while the pain is still with me. I didn’t notice that my tears fell because all I saw right now was how he cheated on me one year ago. He didn’t know how painful it was because for him. He already says sorry and promises never to do it again, but the damage is already done. What is worst than that?

“Knock, knock,” Dannie said while knocking at the door. Even Knight left the door open.

“Josh brought water for us. Do you want Lucy to be taken a bath?” She asked with excitement because, finally, we had water again.

“I will bathe her with Owen.”

I smiled at her and answered, “Yes, please.” She went inside the room and carried Lucy while I wiped my tears. I didn’t notice that my tears were falling after remembering the pain that Knight had caused.

“Come on, baby, let’s take a bath,” She said.

“My toy,” Lucy said when she dropped her doll on the floor. Dannie picked it up, and she noticed me with bruises and wounds. I cover myself with a blanket because I don’t want her to see more of it.

“What happened to you? are you okay?” She asked while looking concerned at me.

“Yeah, I am fine”, I answered, and I didn’t look at her because I didn’t want to crack another conversation. I don’t want to talk to anyone because I am not feeling well. I turned my back to her and said, “Tell Josh that I am thanking him for bringing water” She didn’t answer, but I heard the door closing, and I was all alone now in the room. I was about to sleep, but I heard Josh talking to Ellie, and I felt like he wanted to say something to Ellie.

“Better stop that boy”, The man inside my head whispered again. That is why I stand up and look outside the window. They are standing near my window room which calls Josh’s attention. He looked at me with scared eyes.

“What is wrong, honey?” I asked him, but he didn’t answer. He slowly looked at Ellie, and Ellie didn’t say a word.

“Are you okay?” I asked. He bowed his head again and answered, “I am fine.”

“Are you sure?” I asked again.

“We can talk about that.”

“I am really fine,” he answered, making me smile.

“Okay, thank you for bringing water for us.” And he nodded without a word and without looking at me. Weird. He is acting weird maybe he is cheating with Ellie, and he doesn’t want to admit it. Is that what he wants to tell Ellie? I looked at Ellie, and she looked fine talking to Josh. Okay! maybe there’s nothing wrong, even if he is acting weird. I sat on the bed again and looked at the bruises and wounds. Until now, I have been thinking, how did I get them?

“Ahhh! let us go!” The young woman inside my head said. Her voice is different from the other one. She sounds flirty.

“I want to play”, The boy inside my head said, giving me a headache. I stand up to look at myself in the mirror because I hear many voices that want to go out. They sound like they have been hiding for so many days.

“Let me out,” The young woman said.

“Me too,” The boy said, and the man laughed. I shook my head and sat on the floor because I looked at myself in the mirror, figuring out what was wrong with me because I couldn’t recognize myself anymore. I feel like something inside of me wants to go out. I feel like they were hiding for so many years. That makes me wonder what will happen if they go out, even though I know they have already gone out many times.

“Are you okay there, Lein?” Dannie asked when she saw me sitting on the floor like crazy. I didn’t notice her open the door, unaware I was already sitting on the floor.

“Here is Lucy,” She said, putting Lucy down. Wet and fresh from the toilet.

I saw Lucy running toward me with wet hair while holding her toy. She is wearing a bathrobe, and she smiles at me.

“Are you alright?” Dannie asked again, and she went inside the room and helped me stand because I was sitting on the floor.

“Are you okay?” She asked while looking at me, waiting for my answer. I smiled at her, tapped her on the shoulder, and answered,

“Yes, young woman.”

“I am sorry?” She asked me, but I didn’t answer. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a man around seventy of age standing in front of me.

“Oh boy,” He said.

I blink my eyes as I can’t believe what I am seeing. The man is standing in front of me inside the mirror. He has a beard and broken teeth and is smoking and staring at me. I look back to see if Dannie can see the man, but I am alone inside the room. I can see him smoking, but I can’t smell the smoke coming from his cigarette.

“Don’t you remember me?” He asked, but I didn’t answer.

“I am your friend, after Mary”, He added, but I still didn’t answer. What was he saying? I don’t remember him or even Mary.

“Lein, Lucy is done taking a bath,” Dannie said while wondering at me. She is wiping Lucy with a towel. My daughter ran to me and hugged me. She is fresh now, and I can’t imagine the happiness that she feels right now.

“I miss taking a bath, mommy,” She said.

“I know,” I said, and I carried her.

“Are you sure that you are fine?” Dannie asked, still wondering what was going on with me. I smiled, and I nodded because I knew I was okay.

“Yes, I am fine”, I answered, but she looked at me like I was not okay.

“Thank you,” I told Dannie, and she smiled at me and said,

“If you need someone to talk to. I am just here,”

I looked at her and nodded. She looked at me and closed the door—leaving Lucy and me. I looked at the mirror one more time before I wiped Lucy’s wet hair, but I saw the man wasn’t there anymore.

“Come on, let’s put the water inside,” Jasper said with Ice; I heard the knock, and they opened the door.

They went inside the room while carrying the container, and they pushed the cabinet and opened the secret door. Ice and Jasper put the containers inside; The four containers are suitable for our supply. It is better to have than never. We need to be careful now that the government controls the water. I don’t know where Josh gets the water, but we are thankful because we can now drink water even in a drop to conserve it. After a moment. My brothers left the bunker, closed the door, and put the cabinet back to cover the secret door.

“I hope no one will steal our water”, Ice said, and they looked at me silently. Ice went near me and touched my arms to look closely at my wounds and bruises.

“What happened to you?” He asked, but I didn’t answer because I didn’t know what had happened to me. I felt like I woke up with these bruises and wounds in my arms.

“Did Knight hurt you?” He asked while looking at me.

“Did you two fight?” Jasper asked, and I shook my head.

“We didn’t fight; we are fine.”

“Where did you get that?” They asked,

“I don’t know.”

Ice hug me and tap my back. “I am just here if you need me,” He said, smiling.

“Thank you”, And they left without closing the door.

“Thank you for the water! Thank you for the water!”

My mom screamed joyfully while Eve and Faith tried to keep her quiet. We don’t want anyone to hear her that we have water. We are scared that someone might steal our water again and kill one of us.

“Sammy! Josh, save our day!” She screamed again like a praising while her hands shook and hugged Josh.

I looked at them with a smile. I am happy to see my mom happy again. It seems Josh is an angel for her for bringing us water. I saw Josh look at me with fear and look away when he saw me looking at him. I didn’t know why. He seems so scared of me.