Chapter An Open Confession
Kiaran met with Brick and Torin downstairs, their things packed and ready to go. She hesitated, Torin’s eyes making her stomach twist. Brick watched her quizzically and she finally looked to Torin and said, “Meet me outside the north gates.”
He nodded but Brick shook his head. “I can’t in good conscience allow you to go anywhere alone,” he said.
“I’ll be fine. I’m bringing someone, so just go.” He was incredibly reluctant but lifted his pack, grumbling to himself as he exited the building. She faced Torin and they both stood quietly. “Are you alright?” she asked.
“Yes,” he nodded. “Be careful.”
“Of course,” she said. “You as well, my friend.”
He half-smiled, though it was forced, and kissed the top of her head, touching her upper arm as he passed. It made her heart flutter—it had been a long time since he had done that. Up until then, she just realized how much had she missed it. Shaking away the feeling, she, too left.
Nurra was stretched across her shoulders, his tail wrapping loosely across her collarbones. Her hood draped over her head, shading her angled face from others’ views. It was early enough that most of the crowd were just traders setting up their stalls of goods. She slipped across the city, taking near thirty minutes to reach Davin’s inn.
She wound around a few stumbling drunks and climbed the stairs. Finding Davin’s room, she stood, frozen, staring at the poor wood. Her body tightened and Nurra clicked a bit, his claws gripping her firmly. Inhaling deeply, she knocked on the door. There was some slight shuffling within the room, then it was silent. Finally, the door opened.
It seemed like he hadn’t slept at all the previous night, his eyes red and weak. The smell of alcohol was on him and Kiaran’s lips frowned heavily. He hesitated, then stepped aside, but she didn’t enter. They remained motionless for a moment. Realization washed over him...She had read the journal, the look on her face making his insides grow weak.
“You shouldn’t stay alone,” she finally said, stepping into his room, her decision unmoved. He closed the door as she pulled her hood off, dropping it down her back. Nurra watched him with his piercing eyes. She kept her back to Davin for a moment, her eyes moving across the room.
“I do, though,” he finally replied. Her steel gaze shifted to him, looking over her shoulder. “You’ve read it...haven’t you?”
“I have,” she said, turning around to face him. She realized she couldn't hide her blush, but tried to ignore it. Perhaps with the strength in her eyes, he wouldn't notice it.
“You were wise enough to know that you would pose a threat to your country...But I need to know why you’re here? What information are you looking for?” she asked sternly.
He simply smiled with a slight scoff, running a hand over his long hair that fell just to his shoulders. It had grown quite a bit, but looked charming with his face, a closely shaven beard along his jaw.
Groaning a bit, he leaned over, grasping his jacket. Throwing it on, he said, “It is a lot to explain. Shall we get some food?” Her face was like stone, unwilling to leave quite yet, but she reluctantly agreed.
Once finding some food at a nearby restaurant, they sat near the back where the windows were scarce. Neither of them ate much, finding it difficult. Sitting his fork down, Davin said, “It is a stretch, but I’ve done some research on everything. I won’t dull you with the details, but I’ve learned that what I was experiencing was...something of magic.”
Her stomach twisted, her expression dropping. Looking to her food, she forced the words out, “What do you think...What might it be?”
“It seems that it’s all linked to the past two kings of Rishana, and now me. But...it’s a behavioral thing, as if the magic is causing our behaviors to shift. I...had a dream that I thought was unusually detailed. And I saw a soothsayer who believed what the dream had to say," he explained.
She watched him, feeling her body tense. He worried her, and that worry would remain if he didn't agree to go with her and the others.
"Apparently, the throne was cursed, and that’s why the previous two kings were so mad with their obsessions. And then...” he paused, saying, “My own obsessions.” He played with his food for a bit then took a drink. “The soothsayer suggested I come to Trindal to find information.”
“And have you found any?” she asked.
“Very little,” he admitted. “Destroying the throne didn’t change a thing,” he said lowly, looking to his hand as he gripped his mug.
“They were already corrupt, the Murdocks,” she reminded him. His eyes locked with hers. “Your only desire was to improve your people and,” she paused, shoving the thought aside. His obsession with who she thought might be herself. “You were good enough to know when things were going wrong. And you were wise enough to leave before you damaged anything.”
“You do not understand, though,” he sighed heavily. “If I am gone, someone else is going to take the throne. And once he does, he will likely be cursed as well. It’s happened ever sense the first Murdock.”
“I don’t understand,” she shook her head. “You said you destroyed the throne.”
“And upon further inspection, that doesn’t change a damn thing,” he answered. “The curse has leaked into the land like bad blood. Rishana is cursed. The kingdom, not the throne. It was simply done through the throne.”
She pondered a moment, then frowned. “...Walter?” she asked softly. He nodded and she felt just as solemnly as he looked. “You are worried he will become obsessed with finding you?”
“Yes.”
It looked as if a veil of worry and anxieties was laid over him like a heavy blanket. His head bowed, his hands resting on the wooden table between them. She was hesitant, but rested her fingers on his. He flexed slightly at her touch, but refused to look at her.
“I am sure that Kane will keep Walter from taking rule,” she said. “Walter is rooted deep within the Zeil. Being a part of the rebels would make it impossible for them to protect Rishana if he knows everything about them.”
He shook his head slightly and said, “One can hope. But if not him, than who?”
She sighed and shrugged, her fingers tightening on his hand. “Davin, you must come with us,” she finally said, her voice hardly heard. “Your brother and Brick are the only ones to have come to me. They know you need help and only want the best for you. You can trust them as you trust me.”
He tensed further, finding it more difficult to look at her. “I...can’t.”
She ripped her hand away and stood, growing near enraged. “You are reluctant. You feel ashamed. I understand. But to alienate yourself is to fix nothing,” she barked. “Do you still feel the curse?”
“No,” he answered lowly. The further away from Rishana he was, the less he felt obsessed.
“Than there is nothing to worry about.” Still he remained motionless, keeping his face hidden in the shadows. “Fine. Remain a hermit,” she sighed. “We are going to Urlanai, there we will find more information. And I am near positive that it ties with your curse...” Reluctantly, he lifted his gaze to her. “Davin...Come with us. Please.”
He watched her for a long moment before standing with her. “I will be putting you in danger,” he said.
She smiled. “I am already in danger, my friend.”
“Someone in Trindal-VinCar tried to capture me from the City of Rishana,” he said. “I have more enemies than even I am aware of.”
“You and I, both.”
The two rode their horses out of Yuik, both of them quiet with their hoods pulled far over their faces. Ahead were Torin and Brick, waiting in the broad flatlands. Davin visibly tensed at the sight of his little brother. Kiaran glanced over and mouthed, “It’ll be fine.” And he nodded, though he didn’t agree.
Upon reaching their friends, they left their horses. Torin charged his brother with a strong expression of worry. They spoke lowly and Kiaran moved to Brick’s side.
“You found Davin?” he asked in shock.
“I did,” she nodded.
“Well, what happened?” he asked.
“I will leave him to explain that tonight,” she smiled.
They traveled a few hours north, no one quite comfortable enough to say much. Kiaran was quiet, pulling the packs and saddle off her horse when they came to a stop. Finding her grooming supplies, she began to brush her abicano horse, keeping several yards away from the small camp.
Torin and Brick sat with Davin as they spoke. She smiled a little, happy to see Torin at ease. When his eyes met with hers, he stood and walked over to her.
“Thank you for finding my brother,” he said.
“Of course,” she nodded. She stopped brushing her horse and faced him. “I actually only found him by chance.”
“But I doubt anyone else would convince him to come with us,” he replied. “He respects you more than most anyone.” She held a light smile, her eyes lowering a bit. “This is nice.” He patted the horse’s hindquarters, watching Kiaran as she tucked her hair behind an ear. “The three of us traveling to save someone. A nation, usually it seems.”
They chuckled and she nodded. “Yes, it is rather nostalgic.” When her eyes met with his, her heart leapt into her throat. She had a very strong connection to him and it broke her heart each time she saw his tattoos. To be reminded of his marriage.
How wrong of her! She could not form such a connection to a married man. She frowned a little and faced forward again. “Now, we will be reaching Urlanai soon...”
“Hopefully we will discover whatever it is we need to do.”
Another couple of days had passed as they moved along the flat land toward the city. They had no idea what to expect, and no one spoke of it either. It was best to simply take what was given to them rather than trying to anticipate it.
Torin and Davin cleaned up at the nearby creek, Brick and Kiaran setting up camp. Torin watched his brother as he wiped his forearms with the cold water.
“Something wrong, little Brother?” he asked.
“Well...you aren’t telling me everything,” replied. “What’s wrong, Davin?”
“My mind has been tampered with. I do not take kindly to such an attack,” Davin said. He stood, flicking water droplets off his hands. His eyes lifted to Torin and they stood quietly glaring at one another. Never before had Torin seen such hatred in his brother’s eyes. “Thank you for coming to find me,” he slowly shifted his emotion to something more sensual.
“We are family,” he nodded.
“And how is yours?” Davin asked.
He hesitated with a nervous smile. “They are well,” he nodded. “Lianna is...expecting another child soon.”
Davin smiled, the first time since the two had reunited. “Congratulations, Torin,” he said. “You’ll make a fine father.”
They returned to camp, the four of them sitting in a much more casual air. Kiaran was her usual, quiet self, but the others seemed happier. They ate and told stories, avoiding anything to do with their current situation.
Nurra sat on Kiaran’s thigh, his front talons perched on her knee. He flexed his nub, his remaining wing fluttering slightly, catching some of the fire’s orange light.
“Kiaran,” Brick laughed. She blinked back into the present and he said, “She nearly destroyed the man—and on her first day, too!”
“He was an ass,” she shrugged. “Training with a bunch of men was smelly and difficult,” she half-smiled.
“I could imagine,” Davin grinned. “I’ve done it for years--”
“Nice, considering you were probably the smelliest one,” Torin retorted, holding back a laugh.
Davin shot him a warning, playful glance and they all laughed. It was nice to have just a bit of normalcy for a few hours.
The following night, they camped not too far from Urlanai. The city was barely visible in the distance, Kiaran continually looking to it. She had a terrible feeling in her gut that Torin and Brick should return home. The others needed to know what was happening, they needed to prepare.
In the mean time, she and Davin could continue their research. Inhaling deeply, she moved to her horse and began brushing it again. Something she found calmness in doing. Nurra purred as he walked across the bare back of the horse.
Brick noticed her silence and leaned toward Torin, speaking softly, “She hasn’t spoken all day.”
“Something is troubling her,” Torin muttered. His insides grew weak as he looked to the flames. She was worried about his brother...Although he shouldn’t be, he was slightly jealous.
Still, after all this time apart, he couldn’t help but feel overly attached to Kiaran. It was more than just an attraction, and he hoped that one day he could outgrow that. Looking back to her, he stood and said, “I’ll talk to her.”
Davin was distracted, probably with battling some inner thought, his eyes borrowing into the flames. Otherwise, it was expected that he would approach her.
Kiaran’s brushing only grew more violent as Torin approached. Her eyes darted to him like two little knives and he came to a stop. “You have said nothing,” he began. “What is wrong?” She ripped her gaze away and began brushing the horse once more. Her lips formed a tight, thin line, refusing to respond. “Kiaran--”
“Torin,” she barked back, “you should return home.”
“What?” he nearly hissed, his brows meeting as they drew low.
“It was cruel of me to ask you to accompany me,” she answered flatly. As she spoke, her anger was replaced with something...more melancholy. “You have a family and your own responsibilities at home...Admittedly, I knew you’d help me, but I didn’t stop to think that it wasn’t good for your family.” The horse’s tail flicked at the bugs gathering along its hindquarters. “You should return home.” It was more painful to say than she thought.
“No,” he stepped closer and leaned into her view. “This is not something you’ve done. I asked for your assistance in finding Davin, I didn’t join you. If anything, it was the other way around.”
“Torin, please just...just return home,” she said tentatively. “We found Davin, you see him,” she gestured toward him. “Go home before anything else happens.”
“I cannot,” he shook his head. He was hesitant, his feet moving himself a bit closer to her. “My duty lies with you--”
“No it does not,” she spat as she faced him, her stature strong and fearless, though her eyes shown just that: Fear. Her fingers clutched the wooden brush firmly as she glared at him. “You must return home before something hurts one of us.”
“I will not leave you out here,” he argued.
“You are not leaving me, you are going back. There is a difference,” she replied. “Torin, I am asking you to do this for everyone’s sake. The Tribe needs you.”
He didn’t respond, just simply stared at her with those green eyes. “My duty lies with you,” he finally said again.
“Why must you argue me?” she bellowed, catching a quick look from Brick and Davin. “You fought me when we first fled Murdock, and now, you must fight me again! I can handle this without help, but you refuse to leave me. Why can you never let me handle anything without you?”
“Because I’ve always loved you!” he roared, his voice howling across the twilight. Her body grew tense, as hard as stone, her chest rising as she breathed heavily. “I’ve always loved you and I can’t let you go. I’d blame myself if anything happened to you. I’d easily give my life up on your behalf--”
“Y-you can’t do that,” she muttered, in shock at his admitted feelings. He anxiously ran a hand over his jaw, ashamed at his words. But no matter his shame, he kept his eyes locked with hers. “You can’t do that--your wife needs to be your priority, not me. Not...me.”
“I will always remain faithful to Lianna,” he said firmly, his voice deep and quiet. “But I will always follow you.”
“Then do what must be done: Go home, Torin Holloway. See your wife, hold your child, and protect our tribe.” It grew deadly silent, the only sound coming from the horse as it stepped forward, munching on grass.
The air felt like ice on her hot face, her heart near bursting in her rib cage. “You need to tell them what has happened. Tell them what Davin has told us; they must know.”
He chewed on a few responses, but said nothing. Quietly, he backed away, shame and embarrassment flooding him. He stormed back to the fire without a word. Snatching up his bow and quiver, he jogged into the woods. Closing her eyes, Kiaran kicked her head back, feeling the last of the pink sunrays on her face before they disappeared.
Her heart only sank deeper into darkness as she fought away tears. Why did it have to be so difficult? Why did it have to hurt?
The sound of Brick’s heavy boots neared her and she cracked open an eye to look at him. “I did not expect that to happen,” he said lowly.
She faced him, opening her eyes. “Neither did I. Where is he going?” she asked lowly.
“My guess? He wants to hunt something. He is embarrassed...hurt...” he shrugged. “What did you reply?”
She shook her head and he understood it as a refusal to answer. “You aught to return home with Torin,” she said.
“What?” his brows creased.
“The tribe and the others must know what has happened. Davin and I shall continue gathering intel,” she said. “There is a curse on the leaders of Rishana that have been past from the first Murdock. Warn them that anyone to lead the country will be corrupt. I do not know who is the source of the curse. But I will find out and I will end it.”
“But Rishana is not your burden,” he replied. “Why are you doing this?”
“It is a burden of mine as well. Brinn and Rishana both are threats to my land. Trindal-VinCar? It is even more so,” she answered. “Trust me, Brick. I need you to prepare everyone for the impending destruction that will reign until this curse is broken. It will not be quick and everyone will be needed in your country to fight its own war.”
The words she spoke seemed unreal, but he believed her fully. With a nod he asked, “We are to leave you alone?”
“No,” she shook her head with a short sigh. “I have Nurra and Davin.”
He clasped a large hand on her shoulder and he said, “I do not like this, but I will put my trust in you. You’ve never failed me thus far.”
She grasped his upper arm and nodded, saying, “Thank you, Brick.”
As Brick and Kiaran spoke, Davin stood, glancing to where Torin had disappeared. He headed after him, able to following him rather easily. He rounded a large mass of skinny trees, saying, “Torin, why don’t you calm down. Come talk to me.”
On the other side of the trees, he found his brother slowly pacing, his eyes on the sky as it grew darker. Davin slowly reached his side, his head low. “You never told her, did you?” he asked lowly.
“I didn’t have to, she already knew,” he replied. “Besides, you got to her before I did,” he half joked. They were quiet for a long time and he looked to his older brother. “Davin, I love my wife. I do.”
“But...?”
“I still love Kiaran--” he bit his tongue and looked forward, his brows weighing heavily.
“Well,” Davin paused, “How could you not? She is easy to love.”
“But she was never mine to have,” he beat himself mentally. “I should have never thought otherwise.”
Davin hesitated, but patted Torin's back. "Come and sleep, Torin. That's all you can do at this point."