Don’t Cry Baby

I can't get the image of him lying still on the bedroom floor out of my head. I lay awake listening to the sound of Tyler's soft breathing beside me, his arm rests across my lap as silent tears fall down my cheeks. I stare at the wall ahead of me, the small clock ticks away, the darkness playing tricks with my eyes. Shadows are cast around the room, if I squint I can almost imagine him standing there again, full of life and sorrow. I can almost pretend that he'll walk out if this room alive, and never think of me.

Every time I close my eyes I relive the moment he took his last breath, the moment I lost him forever. My eyes burn with a need for sleep but, I keep them open. Ty stirs and rolls over, his eyes flutter open and he looks up at me.

"What time is it?"

"About 3 am." He pulls me down beside him, I turn so I'm facing him and he rubs my back.

"You're thinking of him aren't you." I reluctantly nod my head.

"I'm sorry that you had to see that." His hand rests on my cheek and he wipes away a tear.

"Please don't cry over him." His voice comes out barely a whisper. I turn away from him in the bed, his arm wraps around me and pulls me closer against him. I stay silent in the bed and wait for his breathing to slow back down as he falls asleep. His body relaxes against me and I slowly pry myself away from him and slide out of the bed. Once my feet hit the ground I quietly leave the room with a soft robe wrapped tightly around my body.

The house seems colder, darker almost after everything that has happened.

I walk into the dimly lit kitchen and turn the light on. Even with the lights on it still feels dark in here. I turn the water on in the sink and fill it with soap, needing something to do with my hands and take my mind off of everything with Damien. I shudder as I think about him, the warmth of the dishwater stings the skin of my hands as I try to wash them. I take my time with each dish, washing every inch of them. I dry each dish and carefully set them away. Once I finish with the dishes I move onto the counters and floors. I spend my time cleaning the whole kitchen, living room and bathroom. By the time I am done the sun has risen and the I hear Tyler stirring upstairs. I get some breakfast started for him and keep my body facing towards the stove. I don't turn around when he steps downstairs and says good morning. I flinch when he walks towards me and wraps his arms around me.

"Did you even sleep, it looks great in here." I shake my head no, and continue to work on his breakfast. Eggs and sausage. He takes his arms off me and walks towards the bread on the counter, he places two slices into the toaster and grabs the butter. "Ash...talk to me please."

"I didn't sleep." I turn and face him, all I see when I look at him is the way he hurt Damien and how it didn't effect him in the slightest.

"What was keeping you from sleeping?"

I run a shaky hand through my hair and lean my back against the counter next to the stove.

"Maybe because you killed someone yesterday Tyler, you killed someone that you promised me you wouldn't hurt. I am stuck here with you because wanted to keep him and my family safe and you killed him. You hurt me again!" He moves so fast barely have time to process before his hand strikes across my face. I feel the stinging and the heat on my cheek. I lift my hand up towards my face and hold my right cheek. I single tear escapes, I wipe it away.

"You're stuck with me huh? Last time I checked you seemed pretty happy here in your own house without having to work. Ungrateful little bitch did all of this for you, l got rid of him for you. Don't you see all of the things I do for you." He drops down to his knees in front of me, he grabs me and holds me against him. I run my fingers through his hair without even realizing it. Tears still fall down my cheeks, he looks up with glassy eyes. I don't know what to say or what to do.

Ty stands up slowly and reaches behind me shutting off each burner on the stove before I burn the whole house down. I stand there frozen looking at him, his disheveled bed head, stubble growing in on his face. He leans in closer towards me, I smell the scent of his toothpaste and mouth wash. He grabs each side of my face, running a thumb over the red mark he created He waits, waits for me to object, before crashing his lips to mine. His fingers lace through my hair, I don't pull away, I let him lift me and carry me over to the couch. He lays me down and slides my panties off before he climbs on top of me discarding my robe and shirt across the room. His hands find my breasts as he continues to kiss me, the stubble scratching at the soft skin of my face. He trails kisses down my neck and across my collar bone, giving me the shivers. I close my eyes and embrace the feeling of his lips on my skin, exploring my body.

He runs his hand down my leg to the crook of my knee and lifts it up and over his hip, he stands up once more and switches us so that I am on top. I slowly lift his shirt over his head and toss it behind me. He unzips the pants hes wearing and slides them down. His lustful eyes rest on mine and his tongue darts out wetting his bottom lip, he grabs a handful of my hair and pulls me down so our lips connect.

I know what he's doing, he's trying to help me forget. This is just what we do, it's what we do best. I don't think about what he did only moments ago, I don't think about what he has done. All I think about right now is how he feels and right now he feels right.00