Dirty Sexy Cuffed (Dirty Sexy Series Book 3)

With Sarah collapsed against his chest, her body lax, and her breathing gradually returning to normal after what had just happened between them, Levi wrapped an arm around her waist and managed to reach down to the floor and grab his jeans without letting her fall off his lap.

She barely moved, testament to just how spent she was, and it made him smile. She made him smile. Somehow, and in a very short time, she’d managed to make him feel things he’d never allowed to slip past the walls he’d built around his heart . . . hope, need, and an unfamiliar yearning that was startling in its intensity. Shockingly, he didn’t fight the sensations. No, for the first time in his life, he welcomed them, even realizing that, in the end, she could still walk away—but he’d make it damn difficult for her to do so when or if the time came.

He managed to retrieve the key from the front pocket of his pants, and he released Sarah’s wrists from confinement. Her arms flopped to her sides, and he chuckled as he massaged them just in case they’d fallen asleep. Hell, he was beginning to think that she’d fallen asleep.

He stroked his hands up and down her back. “Hey. You still with me?”

“Barely,” she murmured, her warm breath caressing his neck before she slowly lifted her head and met his gaze. “What just happened?”

He chuckled. She looked dazed and bewildered, in the best way possible, and he couldn’t resist teasing her. “I think you just got well acquainted with a Magnum-sized cock.”

An adorable blush swept across her cheeks, even as she rolled her eyes at him. “Yeah, that might take some getting used to,” she said with a cute little smirk. “Not that I’m complaining, because you felt pretty damn amazing.”

“It was all you, sweetheart,” he said, enjoying this lighthearted banter between them that felt so easy and natural. “I need to go and clean up. How about you stay here and I’ll be right back?”

“Okay,” she said, and crawled over to the long section of the couch where she could still lie down.

He stood up and covered her with the lightweight blanket he kept folded over the sofa, then disappeared into the bathroom. He returned a few minutes later, still naked, and settled beneath the covers next to her. She immediately snuggled against him, so warm and soft and content, and he realized for the first time ever that the couch was a great place to cuddle.

Wait. Had the word cuddle seriously just entered his vocabulary? Yes, yes, it had, and Jesus, Mason would have a field day with that one.

Mentally shaking his head, Levi tucked Sarah into the crook of his arm, wanting to keep her just like this, safe and secure so nothing could ever hurt her. At least she was no longer working at the Circle K in a shitty neighborhood, but he couldn’t stop thinking about what the motel clerk had said to him earlier today about some guy asking about Sarah.

“Can I ask you something?” Sarah said, taking the words right out of his mouth before he could ask her what was on his mind.

“Sure.” He absently caressed his hand down her bare arm, figuring he’d answer her question first, then he she’d owe him in return. “You can ask me anything.”

“Anything?” She lifted her head and grinned at him, her eyes sparkling playfully. “You sure about that?”

He hesitated before replying. He had no idea what she wanted to know, but he was shocked to realize that he truly didn’t mind sharing things about himself with her. Maybe because she’d grown up similarly and had a past as painful as his own, it made it easier for him to open up to her. He knew there wouldn’t be any judgment, just understanding.

“Yeah, I’m sure. What’s on your mind?”

“I really enjoyed what we just did,” she said with a genuine smile, though he didn’t miss the tentative note to her voice. “And I know putting the cuffs on me is all tied into that issue of you being in control, and you’ve been very clear about that up front. But you said something last night while we were eating dinner that I keep thinking about.”

“And what’s that?” They’d discussed a lot of things last night, mainly her past, while he’d been far vaguer about his. At the time, that had been a deliberate tactic on his end.

Her index finger absently traced imaginary patterns on his chest, and her brows knit into a pondering frown. “You made a comment about when you were a little boy, how you were always being threatened to be good or you’d be taken away. Who did that to you?”

He exhaled a deep breath and glanced away from her inquisitive gaze. He’d known a personal question had been looming, but he never would have guessed that she’d ask about the most difficult part of his childhood. The one that had shaped and molded him in ways that had affected every aspect of his life because of the dark, ugly secrets he’d been forced to carry and the emotions he’d had to stifle in order to survive.

He’d been five years old at the time, but now he was a grown man. The devastating, frightening threat his junkie mother had issued couldn’t hurt him any longer. He’d always tried to keep that part of his past buried deep—no one knew what he’d endured, not even his brothers, because his mother had used them as part of her intimidation, as well. Maybe it was time to let it all out, so he could release the anger and bitterness tied to those memories.

When he remained quiet for too long, she laid her head back down on his shoulder. “If you don’t want to talk about it, I understand,” she said softly.

“I do want to talk about it, at least with you.” The words came out before he could think twice about it, but he didn’t regret them. “But I have to warn you up front, it’s not a pretty story.”

He felt her smile against his chest. “You and I have that in common. Neither one of us had a simple or idyllic childhood, so I doubt anything you say would shock me.”

He wasn’t so sure about that, but as he threaded his fingers through her soft hair, he decided to be completely honest about everything. “You already know about my mother being a junkie and a prostitute. Drugs were all she cared about, and as far back as I remember, up until the age of five, while my brothers were in school she’d take me with her on what she’d called her ‘special errands.’ She didn’t want to leave me alone in our apartment and risk someone calling social services, but fuck, I really wish she’d left me behind.”

She looked back up at him, her expression pained. “How bad was it?”

“Really bad,” he said, his voice already feeling raw, his stomach in knots. “First, she had to get money for her drugs, and we’d end up in dark alleys that scared the shit out of me. And she wasn’t particular about how she made that cash. She’d make me sit in the backseat of her crappy car while she’d give any random john a blow job in the front seat, or she’d make me wait all alone in the vehicle while she disappeared into a seedy motel room for an hour in a drug-infested neighborhood where anyone could have taken me. I was five fucking years old,” he said, his entire body vibrating with anger.

She wrapped her arms tight around him, hugging him in a way he’d never been held before. Like a solid anchor in this turbulent sea of emotions he was navigating. Physically, he felt her comfort and support, but she remained quiet, giving him the chance to purge every last repulsive recollection.

“I remember men coming up to the car while she was gone and trying to lure me out with candy or a promise of a toy.” Pedophiles, most likely, Levi knew now. “I’d keep the windows up and the doors locked because I was so terrified, but sometimes it was so damn hot that I’d be drenched with sweat by the time she got back into the car. By then she had the cash she needed, and all that mattered to her was buying that little bag of crack or meth or heroine. She didn’t care which. And once she had it, she didn’t hesitate to snort the powder or shoot up right in front of me.”

He could hear the disgust in his voice, could feel the clench of his jaw as he relived that nightmare. “There were so many times I cried and begged her not to take me, to leave me home. I told her how afraid I was, and there were a few times when I even had a panic attack, but she didn’t care. And then I made the mistake of telling her that I was going to tell Clay about her ‘errands,’ and she completely flipped out on me and went into a rage. She told me to shut the fuck up, that if I said anything to anyone about where we went or what she did, I’d be taken away. I’d never see Mason or Clay ever again.”

The heartless bitch had played on his worst fears as a kid, because his older brothers were everything to him, and the only two people in his life he cared about and he knew would make him feel safe. But his own mother had denied him that sense of security. She’d forced him to endure her sordid lifestyle and keep her secrets because he’d been terrified of losing Clay and Mason, of never seeing them again.

Beside him, Sarah had stiffened, her body language letting him know that, yeah, he’d shocked her, after all. And when she lifted her head once again, the pain shimmering in her eyes made his heart tighten in his chest.

“So, in order to cope and control your fears, you shut down in the only way you knew how,” she said.

He realized why she understood him so well. Probably because she’d done the same thing after that foster family had left her behind. “Yeah. I had to stuff all those emotions deep inside and keep them buried. It all ended when I was finally old enough to go to school at the same time as my brothers, but when my mother passed away when I was eight, everything changed drastically once again.”

“That’s when your brother Clay started raising you and Mason, right?” she asked, remembering some of the details he’d shared with her.

He nodded. “Yes. And since Clay was always worrying that we’d be separated or taken away if social services ever found out about our situation, he’d always tell me and Mason that we needed to be good and stay out of trouble and not say a word to anyone about our situation. Behaving and doing what Clay said was easy for me, because by then I’d already learned how to control my emotions and keep everything inside. I was straight-laced and disciplined, which was a good thing since Mason was constantly testing Clay’s patience and authority.”

She reached up and touched his cheek, her fingers warm and soft and soothing. “I’m so sorry you had to go through all that.”

He shrugged and gently grabbed her hand, placing it back on his chest, right over his beating heart. “Last night, when I took you back to the motel, it reminded me of the places my mother would take me, and it made me physically ill to think of you staying there.” Which reminded him . . . “By the way, when I was getting your money back today, the front desk clerk mentioned that some guy had been asking around about you. He wanted your room number, and the asshole gave it to him without getting his name. Not sure if this guy is connected to the break-in, but would you happen to know who this person might be?”

With every word he spoke, Sarah’s eyes got bigger and bigger. He saw panic and fear collide in the depths as she stared up at him and whispered, “Oh, God,” in a strangled voice. “What if I’d been there last night?”

She abruptly sat up, holding the blanket to her chest as she tried to move away from him. He quickly scrambled upright, too, and caught her arm, refusing to let her go until he had some answers because something was wrong. Very wrong.

“Sarah?” Her name was a soft demand for her attention, to snap her out of her haze of distress, but it didn’t seem to work. “Who was it?”

Her face was pale, her breathing labored as she ran a trembling hand through her hair. “I knew it was just a matter of time,” she mumbled, more to herself than him.

“Before what?” he asked impatiently, wanting to shake the answers out of her but trying like hell not to spook her further.

She turned dread-filled eyes to him. “Before he found me.”

Jesus Christ. Someone was stalking her, Levi realized, and felt as though he’d been punched in the gut. “Who, Sarah?” He clasped her hand in his, trying not to roar in frustration. “Before who found you?”

“My ex,” she finally revealed in a small voice. “A guy I’d been dating for a few months.”

And with that revelation, so many other things now made sense to Levi. Where she’d worked, the off-the-beaten-path motel she’d been staying at, the cash she’d kept on hand, and her insistence that she was leaving Chicago. His intuition had been right, and he was relieved that he had a few answers, though he suspected there was a lot more she needed to tell him. It didn’t seem as simple as a bad breakup with an ex-boyfriend.

He forced himself to relax, hoping it would calm her down, as well. He sat back on the couch and drew her to him. “Come here,” he said gently, and guided her so she was sitting sideways on his lap. She now had all of the blanket wrapped around her body, which was a good thing considering they were both still naked and it would be a helluva distraction having her ass pressed against his dick.

She was staring straight ahead, her vulnerable expression revealing all of her worries. He touched her chin and turned her face toward his so she was looking at him. “You need to tell me what’s going on. Straight up, Sarah. No more evading my questions or making excuses.” He needed facts and details in order to help her and understand what he was up against. “Are you running from this guy?”

“Yes,” she said in a barely audible voice.

He’d expected as much, but hearing her confirm it made his protective instincts skyrocket into overdrive. “Tell me why.”

She shook her head stubbornly. “This isn’t your problem.”

He knew she was used to being alone and handling things by herself, but there was no way he was going to let any other man put his hands on her. Ever. “Sweetheart, I’m making it my problem. As of right now. You’re going to start at the beginning, and you’re going to tell me everything. All of it.”

He could see her reluctance, but she finally spoke. “His name is Dylan Harper. I met him a few months ago when I was waitressing at a diner. He’d come in every day for coffee and a piece of pie, and he always sat in my section. He seemed like a nice guy, so when he asked me out, I said yes.”

She picked at a piece of lint on the blanket, averting her gaze as she continued. “We dated for about a month, then one day he told me we were going to a friend’s place for a barbeque about an hour and a half away from Chicago in Fairdale. It was a rural area, in the middle of nowhere. It was this small gated community called Sacrosanct, which Dylan told me meant blessed. When we arrived, the only reason we gained entrance was because of a tattoo on the inside of Dylan’s wrist that he showed the guy at the security gate. I thought that was odd, but once we were inside, everything seemed normal. At first.”

She stopped talking, and Levi gently brushed a few strands of hair from her cheek and prompted her to continue. “What do you mean, at first?”

“There was this huge main house that was beautifully maintained, and around it were clusters of smaller cabins where other people lived. Well over a hundred, I later found out. The community was fully sustainable, with fields of organic fruits and vegetables, a stable of pigs and cows and chickens, and well water. Everything ran on solar power, so nobody had to leave for anything, but I didn’t realize the implications of any of that until I was ready to go, and Dylan told me that this was our new home.”

Levi’s gut twisted with unease. “Couldn’t you just leave?”

“I thought I could,” she said quietly as she pulled the blanket tighter around her body. “But the main gate was always locked with a guard who had strict orders on who could come and go, and there was a ten-foot-high block fence around the entire community. It didn’t take me long to realize that this place was a cult, and I was being held against my will.”

Shit. He could feel and hear how difficult this was for her to talk about, but he continued to encourage her to go on, to tell the story however she needed to. “What happened?”

She swallowed hard. “I was placed in a cabin with three other women who were ordered to watch over me, and I had to attend daily rituals where the leader of the group, an older man named Rick, brainwashed members into worshiping him as a holistic being. While everyone seemed in awe of him, I was the only one who had a problem handing over my loyalty, dependency, and trust to a man who controlled everything and everyone in the community.”

Her bare legs were peeking out of the covers, and he gently trailed his hand along one of them. “How long were you there?”

“Three weeks.” She met his gaze, and he hated how ashamed she looked, as if it had somehow been her fault that she’d been trapped there. “I fell into line with the others, only because I knew it would be the only way for anyone to believe that I’d been converted into being a follower and I’d be able to walk around the place more freely. I also saw a possessive, threatening side to Dylan that scared me, and he made it clear that if I ever tried to leave or escape, he’d find me and bring me back. Deserting the Sacrosanct community is considered a punishable offense, but I was desperate to get out of there.”

Obviously, she’d escaped, and he couldn’t imagine how she’d gotten through such a well-guarded place. When she remained silent, he nudged her once again with words. “What did you do?”

“Every day, I tried to look for a way to get out of there, and after three weeks, I noticed at the far end of the secured grounds that there was a thick tree limb overhanging the block wall into the compound, and I knew that was my only hope of escaping. It took me a few days of thinking, but I ended up getting a long line of rope and I threw it over the limb, then used it to help me climb up the wall with my feet until I could grab the top and go over it.”

“That’s pretty damned resourceful,” he said, impressed that she’d figured out a way to utilize the branch.

“I was desperate,” she said with a small shrug. “I had a few things in my backpack and fifty dollars in my pocket that I stole from the main house. I hitchhiked my way back to Chicago and had to live on the streets for a while until I could find a job and a place I could afford to live . . . I still feel so stupid and naive for getting myself into such a bad situation.”

“Sweetheart, it’s not your fault,” he said, trying to soothe her. “All that matters is that you’re out now. You’re here with me now and you’re safe. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

She lifted tear-filled eyes to him, which nearly shattered his heart. “You can’t make a promise like that. If Dylan tracked me to the motel, he’ll find me again.” A shudder racked her body. “And if he gets me back into the compound, I’ll never be free again.”

“If he does find you, I can guarantee that he won’t hurt you,” he said fiercely.

She shook her head in denial. “You can’t protect me forever.”

Yes, he could. He caught her chin in between his fingers so she was looking into his eyes. He understood that he couldn’t keep her locked up in his house indefinitely, but Levi could keep her safe until he could find this asshole himself and make sure he never touched Sarah again. As a cop, he had resources, and in this instance, he had no problems taking advantage of that support.

“Listen to me,” he said, determined to reassure her, to ease the panic reflected in her eyes. “You’ll be working at my brother’s bar, surrounded by people I trust who are like family to me and my brothers. Clay will make sure that everyone knows about Dylan, and you won’t ever be alone. I’ll take you to Kincaid’s and pick you up, and if I can’t be with you, someone I trust will be. Always.” And that was a vow he wouldn’t break.

“Just until I can save enough and leave,” she insisted, compromising in the only way she would allow. “I don’t want to be a burden and inconvenience, to you or anyone else.”

She was neither to him. In fact, she’d become so much more than what he’d ever anticipated, all in a very short amount of time. But it had become increasingly clear that Sarah believed she was a nuisance because that’s how she’d been treated since her parents’ deaths. Right now, in this moment, there was no convincing her otherwise. For now, it had to be enough that she trusted him, and Levi refused to give her any reason to regret that choice, or do anything to disappoint her like so many other people in her life had.

“Let’s just take everything one day at a time, okay?” he asked so she didn’t feel pressured to make impulsive decisions based on her unstable emotions right now.

“Okay,” she said softly, her expression weary.

Satisfied that she’d agreed, he pushed his fingers into her hair at the side of her face and brought her head to his shoulder. He glided his thumb across her soft cheek, and she let out a sigh and snuggled closer. Gradually, her body relaxed against his, and he felt her steady, even breaths against the side of his neck and knew that she’d fallen asleep.

He held her for a while, thinking about their conversation while trying to set up a plan in his mind. She was right . . . Dylan sounded like the kind of guy who wasn’t going to give up, which meant Levi needed to be proactive when it came to finding the asshole before he tracked Sarah down again. It wouldn’t be easy considering he didn’t have much information on the guy, and the compound in Fairdale wasn’t in his jurisdiction as a cop, but that wouldn’t stop him from digging up what he could on her ex.

*     *     *

Levi waited until later that night when Sarah was asleep in his bed, then grabbed his cell phone and went into the kitchen to make a call.

His partner, Nick, picked up on the second ring. “Hey, Ironman! What’s up?”

“I need to ask a favor,” he said, skipping any idle chitchat and getting right to the point of the call.

“Anything,” Nick replied, immediately on board.

“It has to do with Sarah.”

“Sarah, the woman from the convenience store?” Nick asked, his tone incredulous.

“Yeah, that Sarah.” As if there was any other in his life. But Nick wasn’t aware of everything that had happened between Levi and Sarah since he’d gotten shot, so he understood his partner’s surprise.

“Damn. Did you finally get lucky?” Nick joked.

“Actually, she did agree to a date with me,” Levi said, but didn’t elaborate, not when there were more pressing matters to discuss. Instead, he filled Nick in on what had happened after the date, when he’d taken Sarah back to the motel, and her confession tonight about being stalked by a controlling, possessive ex who was a member of a cult.

“You know we don’t have any authority if he’s living in Fairdale,” Nick replied once he had all the facts. “That’s out of our jurisdiction.”

“Yeah.” He rubbed his fingers across his forehead, trying to ease the tension settling there. “What I need is as much information about this guy as you can get for me. His name is Dylan Harper, and all I know is that he’s currently living at the Sacrosanct compound. I want to pay him a friendly visit as a civilian to make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid, if you know what I mean.” There wouldn’t be a physical confrontation that jeopardized his job as a cop, but verbally, Levi planned to be very persuasive.

“Oh, yeah, I know exactly what you mean,” Nick said, a smirk in his voice. “I’ll see what I can find out about him this week and get back to you.”

“Perfect. Thank you.”

Levi disconnected the call, feeling marginally better. Now that he had Nick digging up whatever he could on Dylan, tomorrow Levi planned to make sure that both Clay and Mason were apprised of the situation before Sarah started her shift at Kincaid’s later that night. He wanted protective eyes on her at all times. If for some reason Levi couldn’t be there, then he knew his brothers would provide backup until the issue with Dylan was resolved and Sarah no longer had a reason to run. At least, that’s what Levi was hoping.

Hearing the familiar padding of footsteps on the wood flooring, he glanced up as Sarah walked into the kitchen, looking drowsy, a little disheveled, and sexy as hell in one of his navy blue Chicago PD T-shirts.

“What are you still doing up?” she asked, her voice husky as she walked straight to him and wrapped her arms around his waist as if it was the most natural thing in the world. “I don’t like waking up alone.”

He didn’t know if it was her sleepy subconscious talking or an honest declaration, but he loved that she’d missed him enough to seek him out. “Just taking care of a few things.” Taking care of you.

“Come back to bed,” she whispered.

It was an invitation he couldn’t refuse, even if it was just to hold her while she slept.