Desire for you- ALPHA RYAN Book 1

CATHERINE

"Mark me..." I said seriously and looked at him.

He suddenly seemed unsettled, didn't move, didn't say anything, no emotion at all.

Damn, what was wrong with him? First he was preaching to me about how he wanted to mark me and he was just waiting for me and now, when I practically begged him to, nothing came?

"Ryan?!" I said louder and waited for a response from him.

"I-I can't..." he whispered quietly, glaring at me.

"YOU CAN'T?!" I suddenly shouted at him hysterically, banging against his chest.

"Why can't you? Wasn't that what you wanted all along?! You fucking asshole, my father was right about you all along!" I exclaimed and pushed him away from me.

"You were just playing with me from the start, to you I was nothing but a trophy on your shelf!" I was so angry, so frustrated. Everything on the table next to us was now on the floor. I had knocked everything over with a thud.

"I should have left it at that when I rejected you the first time. Damn!" I grabbed my hair and tugged on it so hard. I broke into a wail and sank to the floor against the wall.

"Catherine, listen to me, you really need to listen to me." He said and sat down in front of me.

I shook my head and had pulled my legs to me.

"Look into my eyes." He said and grabbed my cheek.

I didn't want to look at him. I didn't want to know anything more about him. "Catherine, I'm not who you think I am. Now look me in the eye." He said emphatically.

I looked up at him and was almost startled. His eyes were green? Slowly, a dark smoke began to surround him and a completely different person stood before me.

'Sexy, isn't he?' Daeva chirped to herself.

My eyes widened and I had the feeling that time was standing still. My heart even stopped for a second.

'I'm not Ryan...' he said suddenly.

I was still shocked by what I was seeing and could barely get a word out.

"H-how?" I asked quietly, looking at the figure in front of me.

"Who are you and what do you want from me?" I croaked and tried to distance myself from him.

"I think you know who I am... My name is Elijah, but I go by Ilay. I am your mate...′ he said carefully.

I swallowed hard and pinched my own arm, just to confirm to myself that this was indeed a reality.

"My mate is Ryan.... And no one else." I said in a firmly determined voice, glaring at him almost too angrily now.

He sat down next to me and leaned against the wall. He didn't say anything in response and just stared straight ahead. After a minute of silence, he finally began to speak.

"I've been in this world for thousands of years. I knew it was hopeless... but I was looking for a reason to seek and find you... your love... your affection. Is that too much to ask?"

He looked deep into my eyes and swallowed. "You've awakened in me the love I've been missing all these years and I'm not going to give up without a fight. I know you're scared, but this is nothing to be afraid of."

I listened to him, stunned, and shook my head. All his words made my heart sink. I got goose bumps all over my body and didn't know what to say.

"Can't you feel the bond we have? The feeling of security, love, family... From the very first moment?"

"Not for you... Ryan, he is and remains the only true companion in my life. I want nothing to do with you... Especially since you pretended to be Ryan."

I hardly dared to look at him. He was a strong man with a beautiful look... His eyes sparkled like two emeralds. He was pretty calm for a demon, compared to Daeva, who looked like Harley Quinn and drove me crazy.

Ryan... where was Ryan?

"Where is he?" I croaked out, glaring at Ilay. "Tell me where he is!" I said louder and stood up. I was inwardly overcome with panic at losing Ryan.

"He's fine, he's safe." He replied and looked up at me.

"I want to know where he is..." I didn't know what to do anymore.

'Rose? Rose... wake up, we need to find Ryan..."

He shook his head "You can't get there, he's in another place in another world. He's at my house and I swear to you he's safe." He tried to calm me down by reassuring me that Ryan was fine.

"I want to see him..." I glanced out the window and looked over at Ilay again. He was still sitting on the floor and finally stood up.

"You haven't answered my question yet, Catherine. Don't you feel that bond?" He asked again and came closer to me.

"What do I feel anyway? Fear, insecurity, the feeling of being trapped and pinned by a predator? Should I go on? The list goes on." I said hastily and took a step back. He held out his hand to me. "Trust me, I won't do anything to hurt you. I just want you to answer this question honestly." He said and quickly grabbed my hand.

He was so quick that I stood frozen. It was the same feeling as when Ryan touched me, tingling, butterflies in my stomach...

As quickly as he had grabbed my hand, I tore it away.

"I don't feel anything, I don't even know you and I don't want to know anything about you! Get out!" I roared angrily at him.

He laughed softly and shook his head. "You don't want to believe it... I can give you everything you need, Catherine... I can be your knight in shining armor, your rock, your mate, your soulmate, your best friend. Ryan was nothing like that. He may have saved you, but what was he? How many times did he bring you to ruin in a short space of time? He was just as much a stranger as I was. Why are you giving him the chance? Sorry, chances. How many times have you forgiven him?

Why won't you give me this one chance to show you who I really am and that I desire you with my body and soul? Are you afraid to love two people at the same time? Is that it Catherine? Having to put yourself between one of us?"

He was so close to me again that I could feel his intoxicating scent. A woody-floral scent mixed with bergamot.

His dark green eyes sparkled. His gaze on me was intense. He was biting his teeth so hard that his cheekbones stood out even more.

"If it were up to me, I'd mark you here and now. I wouldn't be so hesitant unlike Ryan, that's what a mate bond is all about." he whispered against my lips.

I was pulled under his spell and had to swallow hard. I broke away from his gaze and had to take a deep breath. "You two... You're going to drive me crazy... I have to get out of here..." I said and ran away from him.

I went out through the door and slammed it hard again.

I was angry, sad, desperate and all the other adjectives that describe a shitty situation.

I ran down the stairs and stormed past Maya, Tristan, Michael and my mom.

She tried to stop me. "Let go of me!" I hissed at her, angry as hell. Angry that she never connected me to this part of my life.

I didn't know what to do, I had to look for Ryan, but I probably wouldn't find him. I needed to get my head on straight and then there was Ilay, I needed to do something with him too.

I laughed hysterically and glared at my mom "My whole life has been a fucking LIE!" I shouted at her and slapped her hand, which was on my shoulder, away.

"Can you tell me more about what's going on?" she said, trying to hold me again. She looked desperate, as if she had a clue what was going on.

"What's going on? There's a demon in my room claiming that I'm his mate, that's what's going on! All of you, all of you are driving me crazy. I can't stand it here any longer."

Ilay followed me and stopped by the stairs. They all looked at him in shock. He, on the other hand, was calm and just waved. Everyone else looked at him in shock and was speechless at that moment.

I stomped out of the door and turned. Rose had come to her senses and realized what was going on during the conversation with my mother. She let out a deep, loud growl and ran off.

I felt the need to maul anyone who got in my way now.

ILAY

I never thought this confrontation with Catherine, in the form of Ryan, would get to me like this.

I had to play my cards close to my chest, apparently Catherine was about to snap at that moment. I could have continued with Ryan, she would have been disappointed in Ryan, she would have cut ties with him and my path would have been open.

But the problem was that if she found out, she would never forgive me again. I couldn't put us at risk for a damn wolf.

I got dirty looks from the members of Ryan's pack. Catherine's mom was just as shocked, too.

"I-I never thought this could ever happen..." she said, looking visibly upset.

I ran down to her "You rejected your mate. You should have known better, bonding with a werewolf was a big fucking mistake." I hissed at her.

She shook her head "You don't know what you're doing to her. You couldn't have picked a worse time than this..." she said desperately.

"Excuse me? Now I'm the one to blame? When were you going to tell her about this? After Ryan had marked her? Is that what you were hoping for?" She was really testing my patience.

She shook her head "No, we figured since her demon part is so small that she probably couldn't have a mate at all..." She admitted and gave me a disappointed look.

I laughed "You're wrong, Chiara... Your demon part is mathematically smaller, but in reality it's completely there. You can't consider something that's in your blood to be a quarter or a half. It doesn't change the fact that Daeva is there. Do you understand that?" I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

"Where's Ryan?" Asked the other guy, next to Michael suddenly.

I smiled at him. "Ryan? I've given Ryan a leave of absence for now. He's safe, at my house in hell. Any other information you need, Beta?" I wanted to burn the place down. Maybe Daeva wasn't entirely wrong about the "burn everything to rubble" part.

He growled dangerously at me. I just laughed "Don't get any stupid ideas. He's fine. As long as you dance to my tune, nothing will change. If the opposite happens, you can be sure that you won't get your alpha alive."

Maya's face turned pale, "You were on the motorcycle, driving like a maniac?" she asked.

I nodded and smiled at her "Yes, that was me." I turned back into Ryan. "If you try to free him, you'll also have to make sure you free the right Ryan." I laughed and shook my head.

I had to look for Catherine.

"What are you up to?" Chiara asked me. I turned to her and glared at her. "I'm going to take what's mine. You think I'm going to give it to a wolf who doesn't even appreciate it?" I laughed and turned back. My green eyes sparkled dangerously, especially since I belonged to the upper categories of demons. I could be considered royalty.

I just hoped Chiara wouldn't get any ideas to mess this all up for me.

I headed for the door, Chiara held me by the arm "Please... Ilay, you can't do this to her..." she begged me desperately.

"There's nothing you can do about it, Chiara, it's up to me," I said, shrugging my shoulders.

She let go of me abruptly "She'll refuse you." she said harshly and glared at me angrily.

I smiled "Go to hell..." I hissed at her, my look could have killed. They could all still be happy that they were STILL alive. I ran out of the house.

I had to find them and make them change their minds.