Deserted (Shadow Beast Shifters Book 4)

After a few hours, Mera returned with Shadow, and all of us listened as Reece discussed his plans. It took some convincing, but eventually Shadow conceded under the force of his mate’s conviction that this plan couldn’t go ahead without her.

“We should have Christmas today, though,” Shadow added, “since we need to prepare for this journey and Reece has to head home to pave the way for us to be there.”

Mera swallowed hard but didn’t argue. “It’s basically set up anyway,” she said with a forced smile. “No reason not to go ahead.”

I exchanged a look with Len, who let out a sigh and reached down to find his sweater. I followed suit, and one by one we all pulled them on, bringing a true smile to her face.

“Okay, this is perfect,” she sighed.

Even Galleli, who generally didn’t cover his chest, got into the spirit. His had holes in the back for his wings, since Mera thought of everything, and it reminded me of the convenience I now had in being able to retract and hide my wings when I wasn’t using them. It had, at first, felt like a loss but was now an advantage.

“I’m so grateful for each and every one of you,” Mera said, lifting her crystal glass, the water shining in the low lights. “Shadow, Angel, Galleli, Alistair, Reece, Len, Lucien, Gaster, Inky, and Midnight, who I wish were here for this…” That got to her for a beat, but she recovered and continued, naming all the goblins and many of the other regulars, and I barely managed not to laugh at the expressions on the other’s faces: exasperation and love mingled so perfectly.

By the time we were done, Mera had us all sitting around a cozy fire—her specialty—with eggnog and hot cocoa. Even the beings here who didn’t enjoy these sorts of beverages indulged her, and if I had to guess, every single one of us felt lighter and happier for the experience. I certainly did.

Christmas carols even started to play from somewhere, leaving us all with a little extra cheer.

Cheer I sensed we were going to need over the next journey.

With the knowledge that I’d have to return to the lands where I’d lost the last piece of my heart and soul, I took a few days to prepare myself by returning to the meadows and meditating in the most soothing sections of my territory.

Many of the layers in my world had been designed by members of my family, and I went to those to feel closest to them. My sister’s was a desert, oddly similar to the Delfora where she’d breathed her last. Despite the pain I felt from the memories, I still stopped in there and sat in the warmth, feeling her essence deep in our power.

This was what I had been afraid of losing all those years ago. Even when I’d fought the Danamain, I hadn’t used all the power. I hadn’t lost my family. In the end, as long as I could keep them with me, I would survive whatever was thrown my way.

After leaving my sister, I went to the layer that I felt the most peace in: my forests.

My rebirth had taken a lot of the pain from my soul, muting past griefs to the point that I felt lighter. Freed. But that didn’t mean it would be easy to go back to the Desert Lands. It might actually be the hardest thing I ever did because I’d let everyone down that day. Reece, my family, my honor. Transcendents were warriors; we did not run from battle.

Reece had every right to be mad at me, but at some point, enough was enough.

I’d finally gained the maturity to know that I’d been punished enough. After centuries of fighting harder and longer than any other transcendent, forming no bonds, and beating myself up, I was done being Reece’s punching bag. It was time to embrace the two sides of who I was now: a transcendent and a phoenix born of the Nexus.

The powers had merged perfectly, a meshing of two worlds, and I needed a blessing from the Tholi, our spiritual guide, to really cement the new sides of me. With that in mind, after a day of meditation, I found myself travelling out of my territory and into the skyland.

This was where our highest leaders, the strongest of each family clan, met to govern the imbalance in the worlds that we fought for. There were many worlds, many more than Shadow had bonded in his Solaris System. At one time, transcendents had balanced every single one, but today our numbers had dwindled so that we were only scattered among a dozen or so.

Our legacy was falling, but we would always fight. To the bitter end when the darkness claimed the light.

My wings were strong and sure as I flapped, lifting myself up into the false sky that hid the skyland. They were the same feathered appendages that I’d been born with, only now a fire lit up their amber lengths. I’d had a few mini breakdowns in the days after my change. So much of my identity… my worth, had been tied up in looking like my sister, and losing that had taken me by surprise. But now I was embracing it all.

My second chance.

As I ascended, the landscape around me grew paler, and the red in my wings became more pronounced until it looked as if they were on fire—as if the light within me was also out. Transcendents were born in a similar manner to humans; most of the worlds had evolved to share comparable reproductive means due to an original god. For us, though, it required more than just the usual processes. On top of genetic merging, there was also a sharing of light and energy. This inherited light remained inside of us, warming our essence and fueling our powers. With this rebirth, my light and dark sides could form one. A transcendent filled with the fires of the Nexus.

As my feet touch down on the silver cloud that was the entrance to the sacred land above, I hid my wings away, no longer needing them. The elders were no doubt aware of my changes, since very little got past them. They would have felt my power in the final battle, especially as many of the worlds’ leaders had followed our journey. If we’d lost, there would’ve been little hope for anyone—we had been the last stand against Dannie.

As I padded along, I marveled at the illusion that surrounded me. It was as if I walked in the middle of a silver cloud. The first time I’d seen this skyland, I’d brushed my hands across its surface, hoping it felt as soft as it looked, only to find that there was nothing of substance there at all. Many of us had learned the hard way not to lean on the walls here, unless you wanted to plummet toward the meadow’s surface.

It was quiet today in the skyland. During the council meetings, the elders, one from each of the most powerful families in the meadows, would be present. My father had been an elder, along with my sister, but when they’d both passed, I refused the role. I had no interest in governing this world, and the heavy guilt I carried over my sister’s demise and the subsequent way I’d handled myself after, had convinced all of us that it was better if I stayed out of politics.

Even though the elders would not be here, our spiritual guide, the Tholi, never left. They were not a transcendent and had no race or gender. It was hard to describe their presence exactly, except as a swirling mist that contained all the power, knowledge, and energy that formed the heart of this world. The twelve elders existed alongside the Tholi, but the final power always rested within our hearts, which was exactly why the skyland moved constantly and was generally accessible only to those who were strong, trustworthy, and powerful enough to be elders. We had to protect our heart, because we all knew what happened when the heart was compromised.

As I neared the center of the skyland, the cloud curved out into a bubble, allowing me to move into it. A trickle of energy traced across my skin, and as always, it settled deep into my chest, hugging me like an old friend.

The Tholi’s swirling silver mist was the same as I remembered, reminding me of the light versions of Inky and Midnight.

Welcome, Ancient One.

It always called me ancient one, even though I was young compared to its estimated age.

Kneeling, I lowered my head. ‘Apologies for arriving unannounced, but I have a mission I must leave for immediately and I believe that I should not go without your blessing.’

As I lifted my head, the mist formed a very round ball, its warm presence drifting closer to wash over me. It took real effort to lower my barriers and allow it to search within me, feeling for the truth of what I’d said. But there was no point being here if I fought the blessing.

In truth, the presence was not invasive as it traced through my memories… my emotions… the tattered essence of brokenness that had tainted my soul once but was mostly gone now.

You have changed.

I nodded and stood. ‘Yes, I was reborn in the last battle. Death apparently did not want me this time.’

You are important to the worlds still. Death knows that, as do I.

The word important rattled around my brain for a moment, and not because it surprised me—all transcendents were important—but because it had a different meaning now. I was important for more reasons than just keeping the balance and saving worlds.

I had a family again, and I liked to think that the reason death had passed me by, was to give me a chance to really live my life. Maybe they thought I deserved this second chance.

Maybe I even thought so too.