Death's Werewolf Nymph

It must have been at least 1 a.m. when I walked back home. Crying all the way there... I wasn’t sure why. Not sure why my emotions weren’t easing down.

I was hoping that Magdalena and mom wouldn’t be home yet. I tried to make as little sound as possible going upstairs thinking that dad would be asleep but I heard someone walking and it could only be him.

After living with people for that long you could tell apart their footsteps. I turned around in the middle of the staircase. I hoped that he couldn’t see my red eyes, if he could I hope it wasn’t that noticeable since the lighting was very bad.

Every night the little light bulb in the hallway was left on for when we came back from the lake, just so we don’t break our necks while walking up.

“You’re back early,” he said to me with his hand covering a glass of water.

“It’s very cold out tonight, I didn’t dress appropriately,’ I lied to him that that was the reason. After that we kind of stood there awkwardly until he spoke.

“I have never seen that coat on you,” he noticed that oversized coat on me which I forgot about.

“It’s been in my closet for a long time now, I just never wore it,” I lied and he nodded, I guess it was pretty understandable. Maybe if it was mom who was standing in front of me she would notice that it was a men’s coat and many sizes too big to be mine.

Dad looked on the ground and then back at me. “I don’t like arguing with you,” he said to me in a soothing voice, I knew he loved me, I just wasn’t sure it was the same love he felt with Magdalena.

“Me neither,” I said and started to make my way but he stopped me, calling out my name.

“Meredith,” he said and I turned my head back.

“Yes.”

“I won’t let you live alone for the rest of your life...” I thought he was going to say something heartfelt but it was the same thing that made me this broken down. “You will marry someone and there is no going around it, it’s better if you just accepted it.” He didn’t say it as an order, he just wanted me to understand, he spoke in a manner that parents explain something to a toddler.

“I don’t want to,” I tried to tell him. My voice had given up on me completely. My throat was sore and the sound that came out when talking didn’t sound like me at all.

“Meredith, it is decided. I am doing what’s best for you and I want you to respect me and your mother. We have done everything for you and Magdalena. Now it is your time to repay all the hard work we have done for your wellbeing. Do this for your family, show us that we can be proud of what we have taught you,” he said, walking closer and resting his arm on the stair railings. “I would never do something to hurt you. All I ever want for you is to be happy. And someday you will see that,” he slowly took his weight off the railing and walked away with his eyes drilled on the ground.

I was left standing on the stairs with my tears again exploding. Didn’t think there were any left.

I walked in my room and fell in my bed with the coat still on. I felt tired, weak. But so comfortable in the oversized material. I buried my face down, it smelt good. I didn’t want to move.

I felt like a newborn puppy snuggled by his mother. My knees pulled up to my chest so that all of me was covered.

I still couldn’t sleep all night. I tried to but my mind kept wandering back to everything my dad said. I needed to marry for the sake of my family. My family had always been my strong point, I would always do anything for my family... What if marrying someone would actually be good for me? What if that was exactly what I needed? At least I wouldn’t be so lonely. Besides no one said that I need to love that person, I just needed to tolerate him, and be somewhat friendly. Maybe we could be something like friends?

And what if he wouldn’t be kind to me? What if he would want something more than I was willing to give?

I kept hearing the clock ticking. All the little creeks in the house bugged me. As little light started to appear in my window I finally closed my eyes and got a few hours of sleep.

Only in the morning I stepped out of his coat.

I got myself ready, took a long hot shower, getting all yesterday’s feelings out of me. I kept thinking all the way getting ready.

This wasn’t like me at all… how I was acting. I wasn’t some easily offended silly girl. I couldn’t be like that. Never have I shown my emotions as much as recently. I shook my head. “I will not be like that!” I told myself.

I made my way down to breakfast just in time when everyone was just sitting down. “Good morning,” I said to them half smiling. Magdalena was watching, confused look on her face. “What?” I whispered to her so my parents didn’t hear.

“Are you good?” She whispered back. It almost seemed she had forgotten my outburst yesterday. Or she just thought that I didn’t mean it.

I forced a smile at her.

“How did you two sleep?” Mother asked us.

“Good,” Magdalena said first.

“Good,” I too answered.

“What are your plans today?” mom asked again.

I let Magdalena speak first. “I will spend the day with Adrian at the hospital, there are some things that they need help with.” She explained and glanced at me.

“I will go to visit Vincent and then the usual, help around the pack,” I said and mom nodded before we kept our breakfast in silence with occasional remarks, mostly from Magdalena and mom, dad didn’t talk at all.

I finished my breakfast and stood up. “Thank you,” I said to my mother and picked up my empty plate.

“Meredith!” My dad called me, making me stop. “Tomorrow we will have dinner with one family from our pack...” he looked tense. A little out of place. He looked nervous. “Their son lost his mate from a rare illness four years ago.” Our pack was big, too big to know everyone, I knew many but not all and I for sure didn’t know anyone with that story. I didn’t even bother asking anything about him.

I picked up all my feelings and just accepted whatever there was to come. “Okay” I nodded and put down my empty dish and left the house to walk to Vincent’s place but Magdalena ran after me.

“Meredith. I don’t think it’s right.” she said. “They can’t make you do that,” I actually laughed out loud at how stupid she looked now defending me after I told her how bad of a sister she was.

I steadied my laugh and looked at her. “it’s what’s best for everyone, don’t worry” I didn’t want to talk to her about this, I didn’t want her to make me rebel against parents, I was done fighting about what I believed in I just needed to settle down for the life I was meant to have and what I deserved. Not everyone had a fairytale ending.

I continued my walk to Vincent’s and thankfully today Jasper was his caretaker and not someone that hated my guts. “How is he doing?” I asked him as soon as he opened the doors for me.

“Like always. He is holding up good but who knows for how long,” Jasper explained.

I entered Vincent’s room. “My light, my rain, my thunder. How are you doing?” He asked.

“I’m good,” I said, taking my usual spot.

Vincent shook his head. “Don’t answer with one word, I want at least one sentence otherwise you will bore yourself.”

“Yesterday I was miserable, today I am better and tomorrow I will be worse,” I answered as truthfully as I could.

“Mind if I listen while you explain why?” He asked.

“My parents are making an arranged marriage for me with some guy who lost his mate due to illness,” I explained looking at my fidgeting hands.

“That’s not the right thing to do,” he said. “Maybe in history there are proven marriages that maybe worked greatly but not in this time. That marriage is bound to failure.”

“Maybe, but I am just accepting it. “As I said that he shot a surprised look in my direction.

“You are actually accepting something so morbid?” He questioned.

“It’s for my family’s sake.” But was it really? Or maybe I was just giving up everything I have grown to be.

“No, it’s not, you won’t make them happier with something that makes you miserable.” He didn’t know if it would make me miserable. Who knows, maybe we would grow to like each other.

“I’ll learn to live with him, at least I won’t be my parent’s liability anymore.”

“Liability? Liability is when someone doesn’t want you. They just think that that would be best for you and that makes them fools.” He said with a cough in between. “No one can choose others happiness and hope for it to work, no one can choose others life’s for it to be successful.’

“I am done fighting.” I said my final word.

He threw his hand up in surrender. “I am not here to make you live like I think is right, I am just here to help you understand if it’s truly what you want. And if you think this is the best scenario for you then go ahead.” His voice quieted down. “we both know it’s not what you want.”

“Anyways, how are you feeling?” I asked him, changing the subject when I had the chance. He took my sign and didn’t push it.

“Like I am going to die soon,” he chuckled.

“Are you worse?” I asked him, worried. “Do I need to call Jasper?”

“No. It’s the same as always, it’s just starting to get boring to lie here.”

“And that is why I am coming here, so you are not as bored.” I flashed him a big smile hoping he would take it as a joke. Because I wasn’t some savior angel and I wasn’t even sure he liked me here so often.

He chuckled. “I appreciate it Meredith, but you have no reason for doing that. If one day you will stop coming here I won’t be mad or sad. I understand that you have your life and you are young for so little time, you don’t have to waste your hours here.” He said but he drew the line there.

“I will never stop coming here, there is no other person I would rather be with right now. You have been the closest person as long as I can remember.” I didn’t think I had ever said these things to him. “You are more like a father to me than my actual father, you are my family, my real family.” I took his hand in mine. “You yourself said that family is not by blood, and no matter what you think this is what I think. You are the closest person I have and I will give you my last minutes if I have to. And I will do it thousand times more.”

Vincent put up his palm to my cheek. “We might be siblings in soul.” He sweetly smiled but as he thought his smile died down. “ I see my youth in you and it terrifies me. I don’t want you making my mistakes.”

“what mistakes?” I asked… he never spoke of his past.

He cupped my hands in his. “I was a misfit in the world.., born to roam the edge of life and it made me incredibly stupid. You like the danger too.” I raised my eyebrow at him… why would he think that. “I see you do. I am terrified that you might like the edge a little too much. And I don’t want you to mistake happiness for comfort. Once I am gone.”

“I will have no chance to keep you safe, I will have no chance to try to guide you away from the edge. But when you feel it…I want you to promise.” He froze and took a pause.

“I want you to promise that you will not stay there, that you will tell the difference between good and bad even when you are at the divine moment of getting everything you ever wanted. Promise me.” he said.

“I…” I didn’t understand what he meant. “did you choose wrong?” I asked, “when you were young?”

He nodded agreeing. “You would not be here if you knew the things I did.”

Vincent squeezed my hands. “I’ll try…” I told him. I did not know my path and where it would take me, but I will remember what he said.

Death

“When will I get my reward?” Jasmin asked out of thin air. To actually took in notice that she thought about it and still asked. She was sitting by her table. Rewriting book spells on little cards.

“And how exactly have you helped me? You told me everything I could find out for myself,” I sat back on the leather thorned couch.

“And what about other times?” she asked for a second, raising her eyes up. “I have helped you before.”

“Not because I asked because you wanted to, besides…We are not talking about other times. I need you to help me this time!” I got frustrated. “Isn’t there something you can do? Maybe look deeper in her memories?” I asked. “It is not normal that she can see me.”

Jasmin raised her eyebrow at me. “Why do you even care?” she asked while she dipped her pen in ink. “It’s not like she is a threat to you, you can just avoid her until half a century when she dies. If she was immortal then we might have a problem. She is definitely not a threat. Just a pathetic werewolf living in her dump.” She said it so casually.

Pathetic wolf? Who did she think she was! I stood up and neared her. “what are you to tell apart who is pathetic? Give me one reason that your life is half better than hers? You are immortal with not a goal in your life. You live your every day the same and will continue to do it till you get bored and start looking for someone to end your pathetic life. It will not be as easy and then you will envy every mortal being.” She didn’t move while watching me. Didn’t react.

She then threw her pen on the table. “Why does she make your blood boil so much?” she asked. “You don’t know her. She is a stranger. Nothing to you. Why do you go out of your way to figure her out?” she asked me but did not have to answer to her.

“I thought you had useful powers. Though you were useful.” I cut at her sitting opposite her.

She rolled her eyes. “She doesn’t want me to see more. I just need her hand in mine and I will be able to tell you more. But you can’t sedate her. She needs to be aware,” she told me as if I would do that to her.

“She is not strong. You can easily hold her down. I just need about a minute.”

I let out a surprised breath of air. “Are you mental?” I asked her. “I am not a sadist.”

She threw her hands back with bulged out eyes. “apologies. Forgot you don’t want to hurt your girlfriend.”

“think what you say Jasmin!” I snapped.

She put her elbows on her table and hung her head in her hands. “Tell me… how it is to think about her all the time.” Her smirk made me sick. “to see her actually notice you. Finally someone who sees you.” she shrugged her shoulders, smiling up at her ceiling. “she is very pretty. A true beauty.”

I didn’t have to react. I told myself. Her words meant nothing.

“Imagine all the suitors that are at her feet. Giving her flowers, their hands. Romantic walks through the dark forests.” She was speaking with her voice slowing down with each word. “how right their hands must feel on her waist.” Her lips fell apart, licking her upper teeth. “How her lips must feel kissing him with his hand gripped in her thigh…just imagine her moan playing in his ear.”

I banged my fist on the table and stormed out of her house. I didn’t need to hear those things. I was angry. Furious.

I closed my eyes and opened them when I was back in the afterworld. I gripped my hands in the railing looking down on the world of souls.

I felt my blood boiling…how she talked about her…. about her and another man… this shouldn’t have made me feel how I felt…