Death's Saviour

Author's Song of the Chapter: Youngblood by 5 Seconds of Summer

“Are they normally like that?” Garth laughs from his spot on the couch beside Sicora as they cuddle across from me.

“I’d love to say no, but yeah that’s pretty normal for them,” I respond a laugh in my voice.

Garth nods approvingly well Sicora frowns causing me to bristle. I may be a newer Wolf but I can already tell from Sicora’s reactions that she doesn’t think too highly of Noah and that pisses me off. I’ve been quick to realize Dusk and Noah are my alphas and that position commands respect if they don’t get it then the hierarchy will not work.

“Do you have a problem with Noah?” I ask Sicora my eyes digging into her widening ones, she seems surprised I’ve noticed her disdain for him.

“No, not really. He just wasn’t in the legends.” Sicora responds honestly and I scoff causing her eyes to harden.

Legends don’t matter, what matters is the here and now. Noah is with Dusk, he’s head over heels for her and nothing is going to change that. I dismiss this conversation sure it isn’t going anywhere as I settle back into the couch.

“Who were you before this?” Garth asks me curiously and my eyes flit to his.

Who was I? I don’t want to tell them who I was because I’m ashamed of it. I was a scared boy who didn’t want to tell the world the truth about me. I was a closet gay, a closet wolf and apparently a really bad friend to both of my best friends. I had parents who did love me but I couldn’t love them back, I couldn’t love people who constantly lied to me. I was a nobody.

“I was a jock. I played hockey for my high school, goalie, and I had scouts looking at me because I was good. I had my choice of girls but I wasn’t like my teammates. I didn’t want to own that fuck-boy persona that came with being on a hockey team. I wasn’t a partier, nor was I a scholar. I just kind of existed in the jock world, nothing ever felt right. My home life sucked, I had an abusive father who truly believed unless I was the absolute best I was a punching bag. My mother was a shell of a person just letting the abuse insue and pretending that it didn’t happen. I was thinking about suicide when my powers surfaced and after a bad night, I fought back. I accidentally created a tornado in the house destroying it and almost killing my parents. Only then did I know I wasn’t normal. My dad put me in a psych-ward and for a while, my close friends and team-mates came to visit me but slowly that stopped. Slowly I became the nobody that I always felt I was, then everything changed when I got sicker and they moved me to the hospital. I met Sicora and she told me everything, taught me everything that I was missing about myself. Today is the first time I’ve ever felt like I belonged somewhere.” Garth speaks lightly, his tone unserious though I know he is feeling everything.

I feel like an ass for not speaking now, an ass and a coward. Swallowing I work up the courage to speak, to be the person I want to be. I told Dusk and Noah about myself, what could telling a few more people hurt?

“I was a closet gay and a closet Wolf. I always knew what I was but I could never tell anyone. I had crushes on people but I couldn’t act on them, I had urges but I couldn’t release them. I flirted with and screwed girls to hide the truth from everyone including myself for a very long time. My home life was good, I had adoptive parents that loved me. I couldn’t love them back because all my life I knew that they’d been lying to me. My only two real friends were pretty screwed up, Noah was the more trustworthy of the two but he was always wrapped up in his own crap before he met Dusk. The other one well let’s just say he turned out to be a psychopath who raped and murdered young Wolves obsessed with becoming a Wolf. I was on my own, I had nobody who I truly trusted to be myself around. Then I met Dusk and she was the first person I told I was gay and a Wolf, she was the first person to know the real me. She helped me to realize that I had Noah the whole time I just hadn’t had the guts to trust him, now I trust him like my own brother.” I explain my voice breathy and Garth hangs onto every word.

“Who we were before doesn’t matter.” Sicora simply states in an indifferent voice causing Garth to flinch and I blanch.

This girl is really a piece of work. Time to needle her and get the truth from her.

“Let me guess you were a bitch, that’s why you are too scared to open up and tell us who you were,” I state my eyes boring into hers as they turn hard as she looks at me.

“A bitch? A bitch? I was a nobody at school, had no friends, wasn’t popular, didn’t join any teams or clubs. I was too busy raising my brothers and sisters. My mom was a drunk and my dad took off when I was three days old. Most of the time I starved because we didn’t have food and what we did had I fed to my family. I was the adult in the house working a job to cover bills while barely attending school. It was all for nothing, caring about others was all for nothing. I knew what I was, I knew what we all were and that our father took off because he was hunted and probably dead. My mom was human, don’t ask me how I know that those relationships are supposed to be impossible. My life was shit and it only kept getting worse because I couldn’t care for my siblings, I couldn’t protect them. I was at work when the house went up in flames because my mother tried to make popcorn and put silver-ware in the microwave. I arrive in time to hear my brothers and sisters screaming for help as the firefighters worked to stop the fire. I was held back from saving them by an officer and I heard them dying, I felt it in my soul. The next day I was hospitalized for having crazy amounts of poison in my bloodstream and somehow being alive. Garth has been helping me through my grief but it’s still hard so forgive me if I am a bit of a bitch!” Sicora pours before spitting the last words at me.

She removes herself from Garth’s arms and hurries off down a hallway towards the bedrooms, even on wobbly legs she moves fast. Silence falls and I can hear her crying if I really listen for it. I sigh slipping my head into my hands.

“We’ve all been through a rough time, Sicora is still battling through hers. You can’t blame her for being a little cold.” Garth tells me as he stands and I remove my head from my hands.

“I know she won’t care but tell her I’m sorry, truly,” I tell him as he moves past me, he places one hand on my shoulder patting it before moving past me and after Sicora into the bedrooms.

Sighing I lay back into the couch closing my eyes. Why does life have to be so cruel? I expel all of my air before drawing in a deep breath. Exhaustion sets into my bones from really pushing myself today and soon I’m floating off to sleep even if I’m not ready for it.