Chapter 12
He’s Looking at Me
I haven’t had a chance to look at my phone all day. I wasn’t kidding when I said Saturday is our busiest day. Sometimes there’s a line waiting outside before we open, but not as early as six when I arrived.
Poppy was already there, and I often wonder if she ever leaves. She was likely here late last night, long after we all left, baking and getting things ready for today.
When I first got in, I measured out ten cups of sugar before anyone else got in. I dumped it into our sixty-quart floor mixer, and I got the rest of the ingredients going, too. I was set for a big day at the bakery, and I wasn’t wrong. And, really, there’s nothing better than warm kitchen sink cookies, so I keep the batches going all day in between my other tasks for those who want them warm.
I should rename them. It was a generic name when I told Poppy about my idea, and I’d told her I’d throw in everything but the kitchen sink. She told me to go for it, and she loved my recipe. It’s famous now, and I’m hoping it’s enough to help me venture out on my own one day.
You know…once I sell that closetful of Radiance Skincare.
Cora asked me about my night, and I was vague. I didn’t tell her I slept with Grayson, but she doesn’t know I’m a virgin, either. I learned early on that as much as I like her and as much fun as she is to hang out with, she’s also the proverbial office gossip.
But I’m excited to get home and tell Kelly about my night, so after the bakery closes and we clean up and prep for tomorrow, I head home.
Before I go, though, I take a second in the driver’s seat, and I pull up the photo I took last night of the view.
I put myself back in the shoes of the girl taking the picture.
I was a virgin when I snapped this photo.
I’m not one anymore.
I don’t feel all that different—except for the delicious ache between my legs that I seem to feel each time I sit. Lucky for me, I didn’t get to sit much today.
And it’s as I look at the photo that I notice a reflection in the glass of the window.
I can see the Strip plain as day, but now that I’m distracted by the lighting, I see something else.
I see Grayson Nash reflected there. And he’s not looking at the view.
He’s looking at me.
My chest ripples with some strange feeling.
It’s adorable—seeing him there looking at me as I look with wonder out at the view. He’s really something unexpected.
I haven’t heard from him yet, not that I expected to.
I should have been honest with him that we have a history, even if we didn’t really know each other back then, but instead I let him think I was some intriguing stranger. I feel bad about the omission, and maybe I’ll work up the nerve to tell him next time I see him.
It’s only right. We can’t build something from scratch if the foundation is shaky, and this is my chance to build the type of life I’ve dreamed of since I was a kid.
I think about texting him, but I want him to make the first move. Besides, the things I want to tell him should be handled in person.
When I pull into the driveway of the small, two-bedroom house I rent with Kelly, I spot a car parked in the street. Kelly must have a guest over, which stinks since I was hoping to share every last detail of my first time with her.
And by every last detail, I mean an inch-by-inch replay that would take me all night to chronicle.
I park in the garage and cut the engine as I let out a soft sigh with the memory that washes over me. I get out of the car and close the garage before heading inside, and when I glance toward the couch in our modest family room, I spot a figure sitting on it as Kelly looks wildly at me from the kitchen.
He stands up and turns around, and my breath gets caught in my throat.
“Colin,” I murmur. “What are you doing here?”
Guilt racks me as I think back to last night.
Bodies writhing together. Lips meeting. Eyes catching. The intimacy. The heat. The need.
Grayson Nash.
It wasn’t this man standing before me—the man who was eighteen when we met, who carried me through a lot of firsts. The man who left for Chicago without looking back, who loves his job more than me.
“I came to save this relationship,” he says, and the hope in his tone is overwhelming.
“To save…” I begin to repeat.
Oh, God.
He has no idea how very much I have already moved on.
“I came all this way. Would you at least let me take you to dinner so we could talk?” he asks softly.
I want to shout at him that anything he has to say can be said in front of Kelly, but apparently he’d rather have this conversation in a room full of strangers rather than in front of my best friend, who I’ll recount every last word to later anyway.
“I’m not sure I have anything left to say, Colin.” I had sex last night. With someone who isn’t you.
“I have a lot to say, and I came all this way,” he says, a pleading tone to his voice.
I stare at him, thinking how fragile and weak he is compared to Grayson. I felt safe and protected in Grayson’s arms. In Colin’s? I always thought I felt warmth there, but it was nothing like the heat snapping between the defensive back and myself.
But he’s right. He came all this way, and a girl’s gotta eat.
I blow out a breath. “Let me just get changed.” I turn toward Kelly. “Kel, can I talk to you for a second?”
She nods and follows me into my bedroom as I excuse myself from Colin.
“What happened with Grayson?” she whisper-yells.
“We did it,” I whisper back, my cheeks filling with color.
“Avelina Marie!” she yells, giving me the pretend full name she can use to scold me with even though my full first name is not Avelina and my middle name is not Marie. Her eyes widen. “You did it? As in…sex?”
I nod. “And, oh my God, Kel, it was…everything.”
“Are you okay?”
“Oh yeah. Way, way better than okay. I’m great. He was great. He was incredible. So sweet, and caring, and tender. And huge.” I hold up my hands to express the length, and her eyes widen. “Huge.”
“Does your kitty hurt?” she asks.
I laugh. “He, you know, went face-first first, so it was plenty primed and ready for the monster. But yeah, I’m definitely a little sore today.”
“Oh my God,” she squeals in a whisper, and she grabs my arms, and we dance around in a circle for a beat. “I can’t believe you did it with Grayson Nash!”
“I can’t, either!” We’re both still whispering.
I grab a sweater and a clean pair of jeans from my closet, and I get changed quickly. “We talked, and we got to know one another, and—’
“Did you tell him who you are?” she asks.
I shake my head. “I told him my name was Cookie, and he never pressed for my real name. I feel like I should be honest with him, and I will be next time I see him.”
“There’s going to be a next time?” she demands.
I shrug. “I hope so. We exchanged numbers. He said he wants to see me again. I just…couldn’t bear to give up my shot with him before we had a chance to really connect.”
“What are you gonna do about—” She stops short of saying Colin’s name as she jerks a thumb in the direction of the family room.
“I’m going to have to let him down gently. What other choice do I have?”
She nods. “Best wishes with that.”
I offer her a smile as I run a brush through my hair. “Thanks.”
“Are you going to tell him about Grayson?”
I shake my head. “I’m not planning to. It’s unrelated, and I feel like it’ll only hurt him when it doesn’t matter. We were broken up, and I don’t want to go back. Especially not now that I’ve opened up a whole new world.”
“Smart move. You got this, bestie.” She leans in to give me a hug, and I draw in a deep breath before I head back out to face my ex.