Darkest Before the Dawn (male/male)

Felix

In times of distress, I had always been impossibly good at burying myself in my work to help push aside any complications I was encountering. It was human nature to avoid problems sometimes, especially when there was little control to be had over the situation. The only amount of control I had was to continue finding leads and search for Layla or anyone else in the Blood Rights Foundation.

Savannah was the place to start. Two days after Mew left the voicemail to inform me that he had to return to Hell, I found myself in the port city, searching for any remnants of a clue for the whereabouts of the cult. Another demon had been murdered here only days before, and I had hoped that someone would know anything about it from the supernatural standpoint.

One night of no news turned into two nights of no news. I encountered two other vampires in the city, neither of them having any information on Layla or Richard or anything having to do with the BRF. Both of them were older than me and had no interest in demons or cults but took my contact information in case anything came up.

It was starting to feel extraordinarily hopeless without any leads. Marigold was back on Mazerene, and she reported that Adrianna refused to give her any information. Peter and Charlie were as dim as a moonless night and had absolutely nothing helpful to add. The only other person I could possibly rely on was someone I hadn’t spoken to since after Mew and I kissed. I couldn’t convince myself to talk to Madeline, instead leaving that task up to Goldie.

I had to stop myself from thinking of Mew and kissing him and having our not-date date at Harmonia’s a few days before. My chest hurt whenever I did remember anything about it. Disappointment filled my bones, knowing that I was the one who could help bring Mew and Cade back to Earth, if I could only find something, anything, that would help me on this case.

By the third night in Savannah, I was losing hope. According to the census, there were almost a dozen demons in Savannah and surrounding small towns, yet I found nothing unusual whenever I did my rounds of the area. I had studied the census in order to be able to check on every demon’s home during my time in this part of Georgia, all the houses remaining unperturbed. There were no more attacks.

Hope shriveled up in my heart. The BRF should have been attacking more with the number of demons available to them. There should have been another murder, attempted or completed, whatever. It wasn’t that I wanted anyone else to get hurt, no, but there had to be something.

“I don’t know what else to do,” I whispered to Goldie over the phone. I found myself in a human bar along the Savannah River, burnt out, optimism slipping through my fingers. My forehead was on the wood table, painted with abstract art in blues and reds. It was the sort of place I could imagine Goldie and Cade dragging Mew, which is what pulled me in here, regardless of the lack of drinks for me to consume. An untouched pint of beer formed a puddle of condensation over a painted flower.

“Hey, you’re going to get this, Fee,” Goldie promised, the dinging of an elevator sounding off in the background. “You know these things don’t just happen, and Layla may be laying low or trying to scheme with the rest of the Foundation. I bet she’s trying to convince more vampires to go hunting with her.”

“But that’s the thing, right? They brought a demon to the last meeting for others to try to convince everyone else demon blood is worth it, and now it’s silent.” I scooted closer to the wall my booth was against to make sure there wasn’t anyone eavesdropping. “There was the body you and Mew looked at earlier this week found in the same state as all the others, so it was definitely Layla. It was the signature of that group Madeline put together, so I know that was her. But what the hell happened to her? Where did she go?”

She sighed deeply, understanding my exasperation. “Richard may have sent her there as a warning since that’s where Mew and Cade lived up until this month. When she couldn’t find them, she may have wanted to let us know she knew about them being there, then went back to wherever Richard is staying right now.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose and then rubbed my eyes with my thumb and forefinger. “Maybe. Mew is so much better at this than I am.” He would have hunted Layla down the night of the most recent murder. I had been an idiot in taking him off this case, I think. The longer I considered it, the worse I felt. “Has Adrianna said anything yet?”

“She’s still refusing to talk. I’m headed back there to meet with Akiya and talk her into a plea bargain. Meanwhile, if I were you, I would hand my card out to any of the demons there and have them call you if they see anything suspicious. Then go home, Fee. You’re going to drive yourself crazy if you keep at this.”

She was right. Ms. Sapperstein was probably getting tired of taking care of Hades. I missed my own bed to sleep in instead of the bathtubs of hotel rooms, trying to hide from the sun. I didn’t have to solve this now, not when there wasn’t anything to work with. “I-I just want Mew back,” I admitted, squeezing my eyes shut. “I have this stupid idea that he and Cadence will be able to come back after we end the Foundation, and right now, you and I are the only ones able to do this.”

Goldie was silent for a moment. “I know, Fee. I miss them, too. We’re going to get them back. But you need to rest and relax before you get burnt out.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.” I settled back into the plush seat, staring around the bar, wishing I could find a hint there. Nothing stood out. “I’ll head home tomorrow. It’s a good idea on passing out my contact info, so I’ll do that between tonight and tomorrow. Thanks, Goldie.”

“Aww, you’re calling me by my nickname, how sweet.” Her giggle was girlish and sweet. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Be safe, okay? Don’t get too wrapped up in everything.”

I had to take her advice. If she could get Mew to bend to her requests, I knew she had good ideas. Being a good friend also meant listening to suggestions, so I did exactly what I said I would do: introduced myself to the demons in the area, got them caught up on how demons were being targeted, and gave them my business card with directions to call if they had updates or needed my assistance.

There was nothing left to do now except hope one of them called me or count on Goldie to get Adrianna to talk. It was rare to find myself at a loss like this.

Finding the letter in my mailbox made me feel better. The envelope was a rich cherry red with a black wax seal. A filigreed B was imprinted into the wax, a charming touch since I wouldn’t have painted Mew to be the kind of person to have a customized letter writing kit. It was dated from September 26, only two days before. Besides the seal, there wouldn’t have been any indication of who wrote this for me, probably what Mew had intended.

I found myself feeling bad when I rushed through greeting Hades and taking care of him. I had to know what was in that envelope, though. Hades didn’t seem to mind when he could finally lay up on my lap, swaddled in the blanket I had draped over myself. He meowed indignantly at me when I must have been petting him too hard, nerves getting the better of me now that I could finally read what Mew had written.

It was stupid to be this anxious about a guy.

It was also stupid that I hadn’t already opened the damn thing.

The wax seal broke easily, and papyrus greeted me on the inside. I hadn’t considered how pretty Mew’s handwriting was, all curly with the ys and gs, then stick-straight on his is and ts. Everything was written in green ink, which he had told me was his favorite color during our not-date date at Harmonia’s.

To, My Favorite Polyglot

First of all, I hate writing letters, so feel free to think you’re all high and mighty because you’re getting a handwritten letter from me. Cade and I have finally run out of things to talk about. Secondly, please tell Cadence that my handwriting is better than hers. She works on a computer all day and has lost her good penmanship. At least I still jot down my notes and whatever, you’re sick of hearing this anyway, I’m sure.

I don’t know how long this needs to be. I’m used to texting you bad memes I found on Reddit. Hell has WiFi so I could email them to you, and email this whole letter, but I’m worried my parents will find out. How lame is it that I’m a full-grown adult and still live in fear of my parents? It’s something I used to talk to my therapist about, but I stopped going to her after she told me I should sit down and discuss my “traumas” with my parents. I’m lame, I know. But you also know how bad I am with emotions.

That got off track. Cadence keeps looking at me, wondering what the fuck I’m writing. Let’s stay focused. How are you? How are my cats?

Please respond. I’m about to kill myself from boredom. But don’t like, you know, feel pressured to respond. I get it.

From,

That Guy You Kissed

PS: to send a letter back, address it to me, put the stamp on it, and just put it in your mailbox. It’ll get back to me.

My head fell against the couch, a stupid grin on my face at how absolutely ridiculous his letter was, from the way he addressed it to the distracted writing. It was a concentrated concoction of Mew, unbridled and uncensored. I wanted this to be what I would receive every time he wrote me. Much to the dismay of Hades, I had to get him off of me in order to get my own stationary from upstairs.

It had been ages since I had written a letter to someone—probably the forties. Those had been updates on the war and thoughts on returning home, not some stupid response to the guy I kept finding myself smitten over. As much as I wanted to tell him about the wall that I found myself against with this case, something preventing him from returning to Earth, I knew I had to keep this light for his own sake. I could send him a different letter when I had more information.

For now, keeping him calm while he was back home was the better option. He had spent about half an hour, completely by mistake, venting to me about his parents when we had last met up. His family dynamic was nothing like mine, where I had parents who would destroy the world for me, and he had parents that regretted ever conceiving him. It hurt my heart that they couldn’t see him the way his sister or Goldie or I did.

A cheerful letter was the choice this time.

To, That Guy I Kissed

I never thought I’d hear of the day when you and your sister ran out of things to talk about. It must be a very quiet day in Hell. Please don’t repeat this to your sister—your handwriting is far nicer than hers. I’m sure I’ll be getting a letter from her soon about how she’s mad that I said that.

I can tell you that it’s been incredibly quiet here since you two left. Goldie and I have been keeping ourselves occupied, but it’s not the same. I’m afraid to say that I miss you. I believe your cats miss you more, though. Every time Goldie and I go over there, they just stare at us like they know we don’t belong there. I’ve tried befriending them, but we all know I’m not filling the role.

Did I mention that I miss you? I miss those stupid memes you sent me—and for introducing them to me in the first place. I miss listening to you talk and all your stories you’d tell me. I miss talking about books with you. I miss the way you can’t directly look me in the eye when I try embarrassing you. I feel like I couldn’t tell you any of this in person, so getting it all out here is much easier for me.

From,

The Guy Who Would Very Much Like to Kiss You Again

Perhaps signing it that way was too forward, albeit true. I felt my lips for the briefest of moments, allowing myself to think of that kiss exactly two weeks before. I should have been greedier with it but had been nervous about how Mew would have taken it. Now I wish I could have been bolder and said screw it.

The letter was sealed, stamped, and returned to the mailbox. As soon as I started walking back towards my door, the arm of the mailbox made a sound, and I turned to find that it had been put down again by some unknown force, hopefully getting to Mew. If we had each other to write to, the days wouldn’t be so tedious until he returned.

Sept. 29

To, the Guy Who Would Very Much Like to Kiss Me Again

Wanna hear some shit? My mom thought it was a good idea to have a homecoming party for Cadence and me. It’s supposed to be happening tomorrow night. Cade’s been helping Mom with the set up and prep and all that other shit to try to play nice. I almost considered doing the same, but Mom told me it wasn’t going to be helpful. I knew that would be her response, but it’s still like, damn, I won’t offer my services anymore.

Sorry, I’ll get off my shit. I’m just, you know. I’ve bitched at you enough.

Thanks for taking care of the cats. I know it’s not the same for you or for them. It makes me feel better knowing that you and Goldie have it under control, though.

Cadence and I found some old files from when I was first getting into forensics and detective work. It’s from the 19th and 20th centuries when I was still an apprentice on Earth, so a lot of this is like a bad time capsule before DNA testing became a thing. I have a box full of unsolved mysteries, which is very discouraging for the current investigation. I know we know who’s committing the crimes and everything, but I can’t help but feel a little hopeless about this. I think we were both hoping to have this wrapped up by now, yet here we are.

Sorry. I’m being a bummer, I know. It’s difficult here.

How’s the investigation going? I’d really like to be back on time to take you on our date.

From,

The Guy Who Misses You Too, But Can’t Put It Into the Right Words

September 30

To, The Guy I Still Miss, Even If He’s Bad at Words

Head’s up, long letter. There’s a lot to fit in here.

So, about that party. Let me know how it goes since I can’t imagine it going over very well, given your history with parties at your family home. Just remember—no matter what your parents think of you, you’re an incredible person. It’s unfortunate that they can’t see that in you the way I can. If they did, they would be so impressed and proud of what you do for a living and how you’ve made a name for yourself, separate from their influences.

I still think it’s astounding that you were an apprentice for people like Alice Clement and Allan Pinkerton. Because of that, you can’t start giving up hope on this case. You’ve had a successful career as a detective—this hiccup with the BRF doesn’t define who you are or erase all of your previous accomplishments. I keep reminding myself of the same thing, as does Goldie. She’s the only one out of the three of us who’s had formal training with school, but even she’s starting to question this process. Don’t let her know I told you that since she’s trying rather hard to maintain an air of positivity for all of us.

As for any updates, I gave my card out to demons in Savannah and surrounding towns since I couldn’t find anything about Layla or the BRF when I spent the past few days there. It’s like they killed that demon in the river, then disappeared. Adrianna isn’t saying a word, either, even after Akiya offered her a plea deal. I’m getting frustrated with it since I want you (and Cade!) back home. I’m going to go out after this to check a few more towns and leave my cards with the other demons. Hopefully we’ll hear something soon.

On a better note, everyone else’s cases are going well. Sharice’s team has been able to lighten the load of smaller cases, like robberies and an arson case. I sometimes wonder if I should have just given you a minor case like that. But then I think about how we’ve gotten closer during this investigation. In a twisted way, I’m glad that I gave you that folder so you could work on this. I don’t think I ever would have gotten a kiss out of you if you were working on something far less serious.

Unrelated, I started watching some of the movies and shows you’ve suggested while I have some downtime. When you get back, I’d love for us to watch the Marvel movies together. I’m going to be extremely blunt and admit that it probably won’t just be watching movies. The longer you’re away, the more I would like to kiss you. Is that too forward?

From, Wine Mom Who Drives the C-RV

Oct 4.

To, My Favorite Wine Mom – hope your three kids are doing well ;)

Sorry for taking so long to get back to you, firstly. The party made me want to lock myself in my room and hide away from everything. I shouldn’t have done that to you, but I’ve been either taking my Klonopin to avoid a panic attack or sleeping to avoid the little bits of depression I can feel creeping back into me. It’s the fucking worst. It’s gay AF but I could do with a hug from you.

So, the party. I don’t know where to start. Everything was disastrous. Mom did her normal thing where she tries to keep me hidden and away from everyone, so I stayed in our kitchen and parlor most of the night to avoid anyone. Until she suddenly needed me so that she could play matchmaker with me and some random daughter of another general. Suddenly, I was her prized child, not this kid that she spent her whole life mentally destroying. I was Bartholomew, the detective and the man who survived a vampire attack, such a hero.

I told her I wasn’t interested in dating someone, and she kept asking me why not since it was a good political move. I finally told her I had someone waiting for me back on Earth, then had to explain who you were to my parents. They’re…not happy. For being demons, they’re really fucking conservative and expect me or Cade to carry on the family bloodline and marry someone who can better the family name or some bullshit. I never understood it, only knew that it was stupid as fuck.

Now what was that thing you wrote about how you couldn’t just watch the Marvel movies without kissing me? Please, do go on.

You’re going to get this case solved, I promise. You’re smart. I’m not gonna hype you up like you did to me because I’m shitty at it, but you know you’re good at this stuff. Be patient. Granted, I do have a suggestion, if you’d like to hear it. Next time you feed the cats, take a shirt from my closet, one that smells like me. Drive around Savannah and go to my old place. That address is still on the census for demons. Make it seem like I’m home, and arrest whoever shows up. Don’t go alone, though. Take Goldie—make sure she has a plant with her.

Most importantly, though, be safe, idiot. Don’t die on me yet. You can die after I get a second kiss.

From,

Han Solo Ain’t Got Shit on Me

October 6

To, My Hero Who’s Definitely Cooler Than Han Solo

That was rather bold of you to tell your parents about me. Does this mean they’ll not want to meet me, then? I can turn on the charm for them if need be. It’s embarrassing, but I’m stupidly relieved that you weren’t interested in that general’s daughter. Please don’t get me wrong—you can date whoever you wish, but at least let me know so I’m not hanging out and hoping you and I could possibly have something. I would very much enjoy having something with you.

These letters make me feel like I can write anything to you. Please throw them all away as they’re far too humiliating for me to handle.

Update on the case, finally! I’m sure you’ve been waiting and are upset that I didn’t include this first :) I like keeping you on your toes. I took your idea. Goldie wore one of your jackets, and I wore that oversized Totoro sweater you have (which I’ve only seen you wear once, and you looked amazing. You should wear it again. Something about you in casual clothing is adorable). But we wore those around Savannah with the windows down in Goldie’s car, and we went back to your old house and turned on the porch lights.

A little bit of trickery can lead to some success. We didn’t catch Richard; however, we caught Layla and some other vampire she was with to get him used to hunting. I’m actually on Mazerene writing this. It’s three AM, I’m emotionally exhausted, and there’s still so much more to learn, once Layla has started talking to us. This group obnoxiously good at being quiet. I’ve requested Akiya contact Gehanna to give updates in the hopes that it will expedite you getting home.

Hopefully I’ll be seeing you soon. It’s crazy how much I miss you now.

From,

The Guy Who Would Settle For a Hug From You At This Point

That week passed without any other letters. I found myself on Mazerene for several days, receiving updates on the other teams that I had been neglecting or planning with Goldie and our prisoners. Adrianna finally started talking after we had Layla booked and locked away, providing us with more information that we hadn’t expected.

Richard and the BRF had finally set up in Atlanta. Both women admitted that the Foundation had slowed down on the slaughter of demons since MMES had started to tail them and track them down. Apparently, Richard understood that facing a prison sentence wasn’t exactly preferable when trying to build a cult, which was slowly growing to be larger than we had anticipated. The idea of consuming demon blood had begun tempting other vampires.

Having had Mew’s blood now, I could try to see their point of view. Killing innocent demons wasn’t the way to go about this, however. That’s something I could never side with.

Twelve days passed since I had sent that letter to Mew, and Adrianna and Layla had once again started the silent treatment. I was exhausted. Goldie was growing frustrated. Both of us wanted nothing more than to be home in our own beds, not these hotel rooms that we had been in for two nights now. “Is there anything we can offer you that would make you talk?” Goldie asked, meandering around the interrogation room, passing behind Layla once again. She was going to pace a hole into the laminate if she continued doing this.

Rubbing my eyes, I leaned forward, wishing the blonde would tell us anything at all. We had spent the better half of two hours in this room, futilely gathering any updates from her that she hadn’t already disclosed. “We know Richard is in Atlanta now, a major hub for vampires. You, Adrianna, Peter, and Charles were working under orders from Richard and Madeline to kill demons, and then it grew out of hand. You killed that demon in Savannah, which was the last murder, due to the heat from us tracking you down. What else is there? What are the next steps in Richard’s plan?”

Layla cocked an eyebrow and pouted her lips at me, sizing me up once more, the same thing she did whenever I had her figured out. For someone who evaded being arrested for two months, she had a terrible poker face. “What other deals can you give me?”

“We can make a lot of things happen. What would you like?” Goldie asked, leaning her hip against the metal table. There were still two dents in it from when Mew had pounded on it back in August during Madeline’s questioning. My heart hurt.

“I know Madeline was able to attend the meetings while she was locked up. Is that something you can do for me?”

“Madeline was granted that permission to help keep an eye on your group, and, as a reminder, hasn’t murdered anyone,” I offered slowly, blinking incredulously at her because this is something that we also had to explain to everyone else in this little group of morons Madeline had formed. I hated her more and more the longer this case went on. “You understand that you’re looking at over a century here, staring at the same walls in your prison cell, no visitors, no getting out for good behavior, nothing. You will be stuck here without anything, in that same tacky orange jumpsuit.”

“I’m a part-time yoga instructor. I have patience. I’ll have my time.” Layla smiled a thin smile that turned into a cold sneer as she leaned closer to me, making sure I didn’t break eye contact with her. She certainly worked under Madeline. “Richard will save me from this, anyway. Nothing that I did was wrong. Demons are far below vampires. They don’t belong to this world, not in the way we do. It’s a damn shame that you don’t see the benefits of working alongside Richard, not when he can offer you so much. You’re turning your back against your own people because you’re on your ethical high horse.”

“You’re right, it’s horrible of me to think that others should be able to live.” Leaning back in my chair, I had to take a brief moment before saying anything more, reminding myself that professionalism had to be maintained. Akiya was watching from behind the glass. It wouldn’t have been appropriate to react in the way Layla expected me to. There was nothing that I had to say that would have swayed her thoughts on demons, as badly as I was aching to tear into her.

“If you don’t talk, please understand that you’re leaving me with no choice but to hunt Richard down myself, and I will not show him the same mercy that I have provided you. The official stance of Mazerene is to handle things peacefully, but I am absolutely willing to end my career if it means making sure the BRF never hurts another demon.”

I expected her to call my bluff, putting her back in a position of power. Something in her face shifted, a cross of contempt and guilt building over the muscles around her eyes and mouth. “Even if you arrest me, I won’t be the end of it. Addy, Peter, Charlie, and I were just getting started on this process. We helped the spark.”

“And we’ll put it out,” I promised, nudging the legal pad closer to her. “It’ll be easier for you if you can tell us everything you know now and get some benefit. I’m not offering you anything else if you leave this room again.”

Averting her eyes to Goldie, who was glowering at her, Layla licked the bottom of her teeth and rolled her neck. “Give me access to see my mom, and I’ll talk,” she muttered. “We also talk on the phone every Wednesday, which I want to maintain.” Her whole demeanor had changed, from the tight coil her body was in to the way she kept avoiding my stare.

The intercom crackled to life, Akiya’s dull voice coming over it. “One visit to your mother each month, supervised. You’ll be allowed your weekly phone calls to her.”

Layla’s throat jumped from her swallowing so hard. “You fuckers,” she hissed, smoothing back her hair with one hand. “I don’t know much more than what I’ve told you. I’m still young and new, and Richard doesn’t trust me with all of his info yet. But he’s trained other young vampires, who’ve spread out to Tennessee, Alabama, and Louisiana in search of more demons and to help recruit for BRF. Madeline began a trend of sending out small cells in the pursuit of bettering our group. He’s talked about wiping out any vampire who opposes him and is aware that a vampire from Mazerene has been tailing him.”

“The Foundation is spreading to other states then? We thought it was focused only on Georgia,” Goldie stated, finally taking her seat by me for the first time in nearly thirty minutes.

“Originally, it was. Your girl was the one who put it in Richard’s head that he could spread out more, though. That census that Jaden or Jaylen or whatever his name is showed us that there’s a lot more demons living on Earth than we initially believed. We're going to reap the benefits.”

“’Your girl’?” I repeated, already knowing to whom she was referring.

“Madeline. The bitch isn’t as innocent as you think. She’s got more information than what she told you, apparently.” Smugness took over Layla’s expression now. “She was high up on the food chain, not like me. I wouldn’t believe a damn word out of her mouth.”

Goldie glanced at me, eyebrow raised. “Worth bringing everyone back in?” she asked me.

“None of them will talk,” Layla responded. “Addy may, but she’s so fucking tight lipped normally, let alone when you’re wanting her to sell out someone she adores. Peter and Charlie both want to fuck her, so they’re quiet about her.”

“And what about you? What’s your motive for telling us about Madeline lying?” I asked. My voice was unsteady in a way I loathed. Once again, I had been a pawn for Madeline Castor, like nothing at all had changed about me in fifty goddamn years. I had thought I had grown to be better than her motives over me yet found myself in this position again, wondering when I had been blindsided by her trickery.

“That stupid bitch sold me out. What else do I have to lose at this point? I’ll throw her under the bus and let it roll her ass over.”

“Could you write down everything you told us so that we can review it?” Goldie said, understanding that I wasn’t in a place to talk at the moment, not when I wanted to rush downstairs and crack Madeline’s skull on the concrete.

Another lie. Everything about her was constructed to torment me in new and creative ways, as if our relationship together hadn’t caused me enough damage.

To make matters worse, she was part of the reason that I couldn’t hold the only person who could get me to relax from the panic building in my chest.