Curse of the Moon Goddess

“Dude, why are you reading from that lousy old journal again? That thing looks like it’s falling apart!” my beta complains, taking in the crumbling paper on my desk.

As my memory began to fade of how my Aleina looked, I feared I may completely forget her. Forget why I put myself through this torture. I would write in it everything I could, then hide it somewhere safe until my memories returned in my next life. Some of it was so faded I couldn’t read the words anymore. It seemed whatever faded also faded from my memory. I hated this and I wanted it to end. But my wolf and I just couldn’t let her go.

“Surprised?” I asked jokingly.

My beta, Ian, rolled his eyes at me before getting back to business. Ian was a little shorter than me, but not by much. What he lacked for in height, he made up for in hair. Ever since we were in middle school, he’d let his hair grow long enough to pull into a man bun. Never quite understood why he liked the style so much, but I’ll admit, it suited him. His hazel eyes were constantly shimmering with playfulness and loyalty.

“Alpha, Alpha Lukas from the Blood Fang clan just entered our territory. We should prepare for the run.”

“Ah,” was my only reply.

Alpha Lukas and I had a friendship destined longer than I would ever tell him. We had a common ancestor, my first father. I recognized him right away. We shared the same golden-brown eyes that were unique to our family bloodline. That was the one feature I kept with each lifetime. The others were based on genetics. With each lifetime the Moon Goddess always gifts me with parents with very fine features which I inherit. I know she does this as a type of punishment because with good looks comes lots of good-looking women. Both humans and werewolves stand in reverie whenever I walk by. In one lifetime I even tried making myself look hideous by giving myself a nasty scar. But it seemed to have the opposite effect. No matter what I do, there always seem to be women lining up while I’m trying to keep my mind focused on someone else.

I will admit, during a couple of lifetimes I’ve tried having other relationships while waiting for her to show up. But those always left my wolf and I feeling sick to our stomachs with regret.

I find myself waiting outside the Blue Moon Pack House as a gorgeous brand new black with red trimming L.ykan HyperSport screamed to a stop in front of us. Lukas’ pack was the richest in the U.S. The guy was super great to hang out with and one of the most loyal people I’d ever met, but I hate how he flaunts his money around. It’s actually really annoying. He even had the looks to go with his financial status. He was a bit taller than me with dirty blonde hair, tanned skin, and toned body that he maintained not just because he was a werewolf, but also from his obsession with working out.

“Hey man! What’s up?” Lukas grins as he walks up to us.

“Good to see you, man. How’re things with the pack?”

“Good. Things have been quiet lately. We had a minor incident with a rogue a few weeks ago, but they were peaceful, so we let it go. How’re things here?” Lukas replies.

I groan inwardly. Rogues have been everywhere these last few weeks. And not the friendly kind that wants to pass through peacefully. The kind that is starting to group together and form a violent gang. That’s part of the reason I asked Lukas to come today. Maybe showing we are strong and have strong alliances would help. Plus, there were some humans out for a camping trip somewhere near here and I would hate for one of them to get caught in this mess.

“I think you know the answer to that,” was my only response.

Lukas nodded before turning to Ian, “How’re things with you Beta Ian?”

He shrugged, “Can’t complain. We really need to have a co-pack party soon. I’m dying without my mate!”

He made some dramatic sounds and gestures to emphasize his point.

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help smiling. Ian was anxious to find his mate. Probably because his younger brother mated a few months ago and has been rubbing it in how great it is. I really need to be a better Alpha and plan more events, but it’s kind of hard when I don’t want to find mine. I’m afraid this time I won’t be able to reject her.

The thought causes me to flinch. Each rejection becomes more and more difficult. The Moon Goddess is merciful to the mates I reject. She always sends them a second mate and minimizes the effect my rejection has on them. For me, I get a double dose of despair and hurt. I carry the pain the mate I reject has to feel. It’s my eternal punishment.

“All right. Well, let’s get this party started then!” Ian announces, sensing my mind drifting.

I haven’t told him or anyone else, for that fact, about the curse. That was the agreement. If I tell a single soul or attempt to explain my actions, she dies. Not just temporarily, but permanently. Another way for the Moon Goddess to punish me. I think it is also to keep me from sending out a search party for her. Another thing the Moon Goddess does to me. She makes me Alpha each time. Why? Because she cannot deny I have Alpha blood. If I were born to an Omega family, I would just take over another pack. It is how my wolf and I are. I guess she doesn’t want to see me tearing apart all of her children searching for a pack with Aleina in it. Instead, she traps me to one pack; taunting me that I can’t go out to find her.

The three of us, along with several other of my pack members, all strip down, then transform into our wolf selves. Lukas’ wolf was a dark grey, almost black wolf, completely opposite of his natural hair color. Ian’s was also an unusual color compared to his naturally black hair. His wolf’s fur was a mixture of grey and white; with the grey more prominent. The biggest inconvenience of being a wolf was, unless we want to destroy our clothes, they must first be removed. Hence, why I don’t find it necessary to spend lavish amounts of money on clothes. It seems a waste as I have a bad tendency of morphing whenever I feel like it. Mostly when I get upset. I don’t get upset often, but whenever it comes close to a date reminding me of Aleina, I become very edgy. Her birthday, our anniversary of when we first got together, the anniversary of the last day I saw her. That one tends to hit me the hardest. I pull my thoughts back as we, as one, race into the forest to run a perimeter.

It felt amazing! One good thing about all of this was reconnecting with my wolf time after time again. Our coat was a dark red, almost black color. Each lifetime I’m referred to as the Blood Alpha since my coat looks like dried blood. Our eyes remain the same color as our human form, minus an addition of a golden outline around the pupils. Each time my wolf starts to gain control, they shine like the sun during an eclipse. You can’t see the direct sun but know it’s there due to the halo around the darkness.

I momentarily get a flash of Aleina’s wolf. Her’s was a mostly white wolf that shimmered with a silver blue whenever the light reflected on it. Her eyes were the same bright blue, but with a white ring around the pupils. She was naturally a Luna. It is said when an Alpha mates with a white wolf, he is blessed by the Moon Goddess to receive greater strength. I think it’s a pack of lies. If it had been true, she would have allowed us to be together. After all, I am the strongest Alpha in each of my lifetimes. Other Alphas have put it to the test, only to lose their pack and sometimes their lives to me.

I shook my head to try and stay focused. If we were attacked because I was thinking of something I don’t have, I would never forgive myself.

I focused instead on listening. There was a soft breeze, causing the leaves and branches to rustle gently as they danced. I could hear a family of rabbits to our right running into their home. Mmmm. Now I’m a bit hungry.

I smiled a bit as I telepathically sent that message to the others in the group. There were some low growls of laughter in response. I loved this. It was the one joy I could count on in each lifetime. No matter how many packs I had, I loved being with each one. Obviously, there was always the pain of losing them at some point, but it didn’t keep me from caring for them each time.

Suddenly, I came to an abrupt stop. The most amazing scent of lavender and honey was caught up in the breeze as it crossed my path.

Mate!

The word both sent shivers of delight and dread. I knew the other wolves could sense what had just happened, so I didn’t bother explaining myself as I took off. I could hear their chuckles as I raced to the left.

The scent was so faint she had to be quite far. I couldn’t resist going. My willpower was weak, and I couldn’t resist the smell. I was lonely and I didn’t want to feel alone anymore.

At last, I broke through the trees. The scene before me caused a low growl to form in my throat and without a second thought, I prepared to lunge.