Cruel Prince: A High School Bully Romance (Royal Hearts Academy Book 1)

“You sure your little boyfriend doesn’t mind me stealing you away for the night?” Oakley questions as we head for the table full of booze in Christian’s living room.

“First of all, he’s not my boyfriend. Second, even if he did mind, it wouldn’t change anything. I’d still be here.”

Truth be told, Tommy and I had plans tonight, but when Oakley asked if I’d go with him to Jace’s birthday party and be his DD, I didn’t give it a second thought.

Not only because I care about my bonehead cousin and want him to be safe, but Tommy’s becoming a little too clingy.

I’m hoping some space will tone things down.

“I still don’t approve,” he murmurs with a shake of his head. “You can do so much better than that dickwad.”

Here we go again.

I decide to give him a taste of his own medicine. “Speaking of relationships. How are things with you and Hayley?”

He pours himself a cup of whiskey and downs half of it before he answers. “Fine.”

Uh-huh. Those two are so up and down they give me whiplash. One second Oakley says he wants to work things out, and the next he’s doing everything in his power to avoid her.

I glance around the table for something non-alcoholic, but all I find is Jace’s Mountain Dew hidden behind some ice. Given it’s his birthday—and I’m wearing my favorite Jimmy Eat World concert t-shirt—I won’t jack his stash again.

“Is Sawyer coming?” he asks, changing the subject.

I wish. “Nope. She said she’s not comfortable watching women resort to stripping for men to make money.”

I peer around the room. For all the fuss Cole made about wanting dozens of strippers, I don’t see a single one.

Then again, we arrived on the later side, so it’s possible they came and left already.

“I guess we missed them?”

Oakey shakes his head. “Nah. Cole wasn’t able to hire them because he’s not eighteen yet. Same for me.” He takes another sip of his drink. “We asked Jace to do it, but he refused. Something’s going on with him lately. Dude’s not acting right.”

That gets my attention. “What do you mean?”

He levels me with a look. “I’m thinking a certain blonde with a big mouth and one hell of a right hook has him all kinds of fucked up.”

“Well, if he would just…I don’t know, talk to me, maybe we could work out our issues.”

As much as I try to convince myself that Jace ignoring me for the past month doesn’t sting, it does. The other day I told Sawyer I actually preferred it when he was going out of his way to bully me.

She told me I was crazy. I’m starting to think she’s right.

Oakley snorts. “Don’t hold your breath. He’s a stubborn motherfucker.”

Don’t I know it. However, I’m pretty sure I also know why Jace isn’t feeling festive, and it’s not because of me.

“The reason he’s not acting like himself is because it’s his birthday.”

Oakley’s baffled expression tells me he doesn’t get it. “Why would that make him upset?”

“Because it’s another reminder that his mom and brother aren’t here.”

Kind of hard to celebrate being another year older without thinking about how much time has passed since you’ve last seen the people you love.

Given our birthdays are exactly two weeks apart, I feel Jace’s pain. I’m not looking forward to mine either.

“Shit. I didn’t even think of that.” He looks sheepish. “I probably should have though. Lord knows my mom’s ignored enough of mine over the years. It’s not the same thing you and Jace go through, but it still sucks.”

I don’t doubt it. The little I know about Oakley’s mom isn’t good. According to my aunt, she’s a drug addict who uses men—or anyone really—and Oakley and Wayne will be much better off once she kicks the bucket.

“I’m sorry, Oak.” I rest my head on his shoulder. “We should abolish birthdays.”

“Hell yeah,” he concurs. “And get rid of laws while we’re at it.”

I open my mouth to respond, but Hayley meanders over to us.

“We need to talk.”

Oakley looks at me. “I’ll leave you two to it.”

I tug him back when he starts walking away. “I’m pretty sure she means you.” I gesture to the kitchen. “I’m gonna see if I can track down a bottle of water.”

“Traitor,” Oakley hisses under his breath before I leave him with what I’m guessing is his soon to be ex-girlfriend.

In all honesty, I’m doing him a favor. The sooner they put an end to it, the better. Why keep holding on to someone you need to let go of?

I’m making my way to the kitchen when my phone vibrates.

Irritation crawls up my spine when I see Tommy’s name light up the screen. It’s the second time he’s called me since I told him I had to cancel.

And if I don’t answer, he’ll just keep calling.

“Hey.” Cradling the phone between my ear and shoulder, I open the fridge. “What’s up?”

“Just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Yup,” I tell him as I rummage through various brands of beer on the shelf. “Nothing’s changed since the last time we spoke.”

A whole forty minutes ago.

“You said you had to be with family tonight, so I was wor—where are you? It sounds like a party.”

 “I told you, my cousin needed me to come with him so he could do this thing—”

“A party thing,” he says tersely.

Lord. Does anybody drink water in this house?

“Yup. A party thing,” I repeat, closing the fridge door.

“Interesting.”

I walk over to the sink. Tap water it is. “What is?”

“I think it’s a little messed up that I invite you to parties with my friends, but you never invite me to parties with yours.”

He has a point. “You’re right.”

I locate a glass in the cabinet and fill it with tap water. I chug half a cup before I come clean. “I didn’t invite you because I figured the space might do us some good. Plus, it’s Jace’s birthday party tonight—”

“Jace’s birthday party,” he bites out. “Yup. It all makes sense now.”

I finish what’s in my glass and refill it, trying to decide how to answer.

On one hand, I can understand his concern. According to Tommy, he lost me to Jace once, and he doesn’t want it to happen again.

But on the other? I’ve made it perfectly clear there are no strings in our relationship for the time being. Jace or no Jace, I should be free to do what I want.

Like go to a party with my cousin without being made to feel like I did something wrong.

“Look, I haven’t even seen Jace tonight if that’s what you’re worried about.” Bringing the cup to my lips, I take another sip of water. Evidently, confrontation makes me thirsty. “But I’m not your girlfriend, Tommy. We’re taking things slow and getting to know each other again, remember?”

“Dylan, I’m not five. I know what the deal is. I also know if the shoe was on the other foot and I canceled our date to go to a birthday party for some chick you didn’t get along with, you’d have every right to be upset.”

Well, when he puts it like that.

“Yeah,” I whisper. “You have a point.”

“I’m glad you finally realize it.” He clears his throat. “What do you say I swing by and pick—”

“I think we should cool it for a bit.”

I hate doing this to him, but I need to clear my head.

I’m not the kind of girl to lead someone on, and right now I’m not sure about my feelings for Tommy.

They exist, so I know I’m into him…but not nearly as much as he’s into me.

“Dylan, come on. I thought we were having fun?”

“We are. But I think you should do your thing and I’ll do mine. I’m not ready to be locked down and right now it feels like I am.”

There. I did it.

“You said you had feelings for me too,” he grits out.

“I do. I just need time to sort them out.”

“So what—a few days, a few weeks?”

“I’m not sure,” I answer honestly. “But I’ll let you know when I do.”

“Right.”

With that, he hangs up.

“Trouble in paradise?”

Turning my head, I find Cole watching me with a bemused expression.

“I plead the fifth. I already know anything I say can and will be used against me by you and your brother.”

That gets a laugh out of him. “Fair enough.”

Walking over to the fridge, he takes out two beers. He offers one to me, but I decline.

“I’m Oakley’s designated driver.”

Nodding, he leans against the counter. “Where’s Sawyer?”

“She didn’t want to come because of the strippers.”

Smirking, he pops the tab of his beer open. “God, I get a kick out of that girl.”

By the twinkle in his eye, I’d say it’s a little more than a kick.

“She’s not exactly your biggest fan, but if you’re serious and promise not to hurt her, I can put in a good word for you.”

He gives me a boyish grin. “You’d do that for me?”

Holy shit. Cole already looks like a movie star, but throw in that smile with those wolfish green eyes, and he’s practically a nuclear bomb.

But as beautiful as he is, it hurts like hell to stare for too long. Liam’s looks were toned down by his air of innocence and purity. However, I can’t help but wonder if older Liam would have looked and acted like Cole if he were still alive.

It’s a terrible thought to have, because Cole and Liam were different people, but…

“What else would you be willing to do for me?”

I was so lost in my head, I failed to notice Cole’s moved over several inches, intentionally invading my personal bubble.

“What do you mean?”

He skims a fingertip down my arm. “Come on, gorgeous. Don’t be such a prude.”

“I’m not…what the hell is wrong with you?” I assess the beer in his hand. “How many of those have you had?”

Leaning in, he whispers, “Enough to know I want to drag you upstairs and fuck you ‘til you can’t stand.”

My mouth drops open, but I have to close it because bile surges upwards. “That will never happen.” My hand twitches with the need to slap him, but I move out of his grasp instead. “Stay the hell away from me.”

If he feels rejected by me turning him down, he doesn’t show it. If anything, he looks pleased. “Why?”

“Because I’m not interested.”

He takes a step forward. “Why?”

“What do you mean why? You know why.”

No matter how much Jace pisses me off, I’d never sleep with his brother.

I start to walk away, but his hand wraps around my forearm. “I think you should leave.”

“What?” Disgust ripples through me. “Why? Because I won’t have sex with you?”

“No.” His expression darkens and he tightens his grip. “Because you’ve already hurt Jace enough. And if you came back here to do it again, I swear to God I will fucking kill you.”

The resolve behind his threat tells me it’s not idle, but I’m more disturbed by him believing I would come back to hurt Jace.

“Despite what you think, I would never hurt your brother. Ever.”

“Why?”

I tell him the first bit of truth that comes to my mind. The one I feel all the way down to my marrow. “Because I love him.” I hold his stare. “And I don’t hurt the people I love.”

Not if I can help it.

He searches my face for what feels like an eternity. I don’t know what he finds, but whatever it is has him releasing his hold on me. “You can stay.”

Without another word, he stalks out of the kitchen and I leave to track down my cousin.

I find him sucking Hayley’s face off on the living room couch.

Guess they’re on again.

Shaking my head, I turn around and head for the bathroom. All the water I had is catching up with me.

Evidently, I’m not the only one who has to pee like a racehorse, because the line for the closest bathroom is almost all the way down the hall.

The one on the other side of the house isn’t much better.

“Is there a bathroom upstairs?” I whisper to the guy wearing a beanie in front of me.

His eyes open a little and I realize he’s one of the bong boys from the last party I went to. “Nah, B. Bad idea.”

“Why?”

“My boy, Bugs, heard Christian was getting a rim job from some chick and she blew chunks everywhere but the toilet in that bitch.”

Wow, that was way more information than necessary. Not to mention gross.

“Thanks for the heads up.”

He gives me a curt nod and holds up the bong in his hand. “You wanna hit this while we wait?”

“I appreciate the offer, but I get paranoid behind the wheel when I’m high. My speed drops down to thirty and I think every car I pass is the police.” Since I don’t want to sound like a total loser I add, “But definitely next time.”

“Word.” He brings the lighter to the bowl and inhales. “No worries.”

Squeezing my legs together, I look down the line. Not counting my bong buddy, there are four more people in front of me. “Can you tell whoever’s in there to hurry up?”

Some guy ahead shrugs. “Already did.”

“I’m not gonna make it.”

I’ll take my chances with the puke. If she missed the toilet, at least it will be clean.

“Whatever you do, don’t piss in the hot tub,” my buddy advises. “People get real mad when you do that.” He grins at Cole when he walks by. “Try the punch bowl instead.”

Cole downs his beer and fist bumps the air. “Nectar of the gods.”

Hopefully it won’t come down to that, but it’s nice to know I’ve got options.

I hike a thumb in the direction of the staircase. “I’m gonna go upstairs.”

His expression turns solemn as I exit the line. “Godspeed, my friend.”

Racing up the stairs, I make a mad dash for the first bathroom I see.

To my surprise and relief, there’s no puke to be found. For once, the rumor mill worked in my favor.

After taking care of business, I walk over to the sink.

I’m in the middle of washing my hands when I hear a voice that sounds a lot like Jace’s growl, “My dick isn’t gonna suck itself. You’re either down to or you’re not.”

I roll my eyes. Subtlety has never been Jace’s strong suit.

Quickly, I turn off the sink and forgo drying my hands. The last thing I want to hear is Jace and Britney going at it.

“And if I’m not?”

Dammit. I’m too curious for my own good. I press my ear to the door on the opposite side of the bathroom so I can hear them better.

“It’s no skin off my balls.” Something jingles. Possibly a belt buckle? “Your friend Casey told me she’d be up for whatever I want, whenever I want, so I’ll hang out with her tonight.”

Harsh. Although I’d give almost anything to see the look on Britney’s face right now.

“Are you serious?” Britney screeches. “I can’t believe that dumb slut is trying to screw my boyfriend behind my back.”

Your hoes ain’t loyal, Brit-Brit.

I slap a hand over my mouth so I don’t laugh, but Jace’s next words have my jaw dropping.

“Retract the claws. I’m not your boyfriend, remember?”

Jesus. To be a fly on the wall of this shitshow.

She sighs. “I know, babe. I just…it’s a girl thing. Casey crossed the line.” Her voice becomes breathy. “But let’s not talk about her anymore, birthday boy.” She giggles. “I wore those little pink panties you like.”

It’s all I can do not to gag as I retreat. It’s definitely time to go.

“Not interested,” he grits through his teeth.

I scurry back to the door.

“Right. As usual, you just want to sit back while I give you head,” she grumbles. “Not to be a bitch, but I’m getting really sick and tired of being a blow-up doll. Once upon a time, you were interested in more than my mouth.”

I cringe. Fairy tales, blow-up dolls, and Britney make for a bad visual.

“Look, I’ve never forced you to do anything you didn’t want to.” The mattress creaks. “Suck me off, or don’t, I no longer give a fuck. I’m over your bullshit.”

“Oh my God, it’s her. Isn’t it? Ever since she came back…we haven’t.” Britney sounds like she’s a razor’s edge away from crying. “You don’t want me anymore, do you?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jace growls. “Shut the fuck up.”

“If I’m wrong, then prove it. Fuck me right here, right now. Just like you used to before she showed up.”

My heart twists and I place my hand on the door, as though that alone could stop him.

Don’t do it, Jace.

I’m not sure what’s happening, because they stop talking.

Which can only mean one thing.

A green tinge of jealousy clouds my vision as the seconds tick by.

Just when I’ve lost all hope, Jace grinds out, “You’re right. You don’t do it for me anymore.”

I let out the breath I was holding.

“You’re lying,” Britney hisses. “Look at me and look at her. There’s no way in hell any guy with a pulse would choose that over me.”

Jace laughs but there isn’t any humor behind it. “There’s something wrong with your head, Brit.”

“There’s something wrong with your dick, Jace,” she spits. “And that’s exactly what I’m going to tell everyone if you make me look like a fool.”

“Fuck off. The only one who makes you look like a fool is you.”

He slams the door so hard it rattles.

Oh. My. God. 

I wait a few minutes before I venture downstairs again. When I do, I find Jace slamming back shots with Oakley and Cole.

Oh, boy.

“Hell yes,” Oak shouts. “About time you loosened up and had some fun, Covington.”

Forgoing the shot glass this time, Jace picks up the bottle of Jack and takes a huge swig.

My stomach drops. Jace isn’t doing this for fun. He’s doing it to get trashed and forget.

Fortunately, Cole catches on. “Slow down, bro. We have the whole night ahead of us.”

“Exactly.” Oak takes the bottle from him. “Save some for the rest of us, man.”

Jace gives them the finger and walks off.

He might not realize it yet, but all that whiskey is going to hit him in the balls soon.

Cole’s uneasy eyes lock with mine and I walk over to him and Oakley.

“Has he eaten anything tonight?”

He shrugs. “Not really. My dad took us out for dinner to celebrate, but Jace bounced before it was over.”

That’s not good.

Thinking quickly, I dig into my pocket for my phone and pull up a local pizza place.

“Hey, I’d like to order a pineapple pizza please.”

For reasons I’ll never understand, it’s Jace’s favorite.

“We’re closing in fifteen,” the guy on the phone responds.

I look at my watch and curse. “Not to be a pain, but is there any way you can make this happen? It’s my friend’s birthday and he’s…I really need a pineapple pizza.”

Oakley grabs my phone. “And one more with extra cheese.”

“Some garlic knots, too,” Cole adds.

I snatch my phone back. “I’m so sorry, but I promise I’ll give you an amazing tip when you get here.”

I silently say goodbye to half my paycheck from the bakery.

“All right. Be there in twenty,” the guy grumbles before he hangs up.

Twenty minutes later, Jace is bumping and grinding with a group of girls out on the patio.

Cole takes a sip of his beer. “At least he’s having fun.”

I motion to the pizza box I’m holding. “We should get some of this in his system before that changes.”

After setting everything up on a nearby table, I turn to Cole and Oakley. “Which one of you wants to grab him?”

Oakley pulls out a blunt and lights it. “I got this.”

In the blink of an eye, he enters the makeshift dance floor, ebbing and flowing with the crowd until he reaches Jace and gestures to his blunt.

Flashing a Cheshire Cat smile, Jace follows him.

But not before giving Hayley—one of his many dancing partners—a swift slap on the ass.

Fortunately, Oak doesn’t seem to mind.

Cole chokes on his beer. “Jesus.”

I hang back as they make their way to the table. Jace can’t stand the sight of me when he’s sober, so I can only imagine how he’ll react to my presence when he’s buzzed and on his way to shit-faced.

“Pineapple?” Jace exclaims as he takes a seat. “Man, you douchebags are the worst, greatest best friends ever.”

Cole and Oakley exchange a glance.

“It wasn’t us,” Oakley says, despite me signaling for him to keep his mouth shut.

Cole jerks his chin at me. “Dylan ordered it.”

Jace shifts around in his chair. “Sure you didn’t poison it?”

“Only a little.” I study my nails. “Couldn’t get too carried away though, given it’s your birthday and all.”

He grins, and fuck me, because it’s like seeing a rainbow after a terrible storm. “Thanks, asshole.” Lifting the pizza to his mouth he takes a huge bite. “Shit’s good.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” Oakley makes a face. “You’re the only person I know who enjoys that crap on pizza.”

My heart gives a sad thump. It was Liam’s favorite too.

Jace tenses, but a small group of girls from the dancefloor wander over and disperse themselves among the guys.

Hayley plops on Oakley’s lap, a brunette flutters to Cole, while the remaining two make a beeline for Jace.

And me? I’m hoping the bong boys are still here because I’d much prefer their company to whatever this is.

Jealousy stirs when the girl to the right of Jace whispers something in his ear and his face lights up like the fourth of July.

“Tell you what, go grab me a bottle of Jack and let me finish this slice, then I’m all yours.” He winks at the girl’s friend. “And yours.”

Yup, the bong boys are looking better and better.

The girl and her friend scurry off like they hit the jackpot.

I’m about to leave too, but Jace bites out, “Where’s your boyfriend?”

“Last I checked, I didn’t have one.”

He appears to be mulling that over as he chews.

I’m getting ready to walk away for the second time when he speaks.

“Well, the next time your boyfriend, not boyfriend picks you up from school, I’m beating his face in and shoving a motherfucking bat down his throat.” Tilting his head, he pins me with a look. “Consider that your only warning.”

He can’t be serious. Who the hell threatens someone for giving someone else a ride home from school?

I don’t even know how to respond. On second thought, I do.

“You don’t get to control who picks me up and who doesn’t. You also don’t get to threaten my friends.”

He starts to say something, but the two girls—who are now donning bikinis and carrying a bottle of whiskey—saunter back over to him.

Instantly, he swipes the bottle from the girl in the white bikini and starts drinking.

“Damn.” Oakley’s eyes go big. “Be easy, son.”

Jace doesn’t listen. Almost half a pint is gone before Cole rips it away. “You’re gonna have a killer hangover tomorrow, dude.”

He wolfs down another slice of pizza. “I don’t give a fuck.” He smirks at the girls. “Go wait for me in the hot tub.”

They don’t waste a second following his orders.

I look at Oakley who’s pouring himself a shot. “I’m gonna head inside for a bit. Let me know when you’re ready to leave.”

Oakley starts to speak, but Jace stands up and barks, “Get over here.”

Oh no he didn’t.

I look around the patio. “I’m sorry, are you talking to me? Because I don’t respond to Neanderthals.” I narrow my eyes. “If you want me so bad, you can bring your ass over here.”

Slowly, he rakes his gaze over my body. “Is that so?”

My heart is in my throat as he treks the short distance to me.

“Here I am,” he rasps, his voice rough and husky.

There’s no denying the challenge laden in his words, but I force myself not to react. He’s drunk, it’s his birthday, and he’s pushing my buttons. Nothing more, nothing less.

“Yup, here you are. Now what’s your problem?”

My breath hitches when he hooks his finger onto the belt loop of my jeans and tugs me to him. “You.”

Jesus. I tamp down the urge to run my hand over the impressive set of abs and prominent bulge I’m compressed against. “Fine, then I’ll leave.”

His hand curls around my hip possessively, and he sways ever so slightly. “No—”

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, you ugly little tramp?” a shrill voice demands.

Of course, Britney would come out here to mark her territory.

Although after what I overheard, territory is debatable.

Oakley and Cole stop talking, no doubt preparing for round two. However, I’m tired of the drama, so I pay her no mind.

I start to withdraw, but Jace tightens his grip and looks over his shoulder at Cole. “I’m gonna head out.”

The way he’s slurring his words and swaying tells me the whiskey just hit him like a freight train.

Britney’s the least of my worries when he digs his keys out of his pocket.

“You can’t drive, Jace.”

“I’ll be fine,” he argues, taking a step back.

“Are you okay, sweetie?” Britney coos.

Ignoring her, I concentrate on him. “You’re drunk.” I look at Oakley. “Come on, we can drop him off on the way home.”

Oakley starts to nod, but Hayley pouts. “But, bunny, you promised we could spend the night here.”

That’s news to me.

Something passes in Oakley’s gaze and he shrugs. “She’s right. Sorry, cous.” He kisses Hayley’s arm. “What my girl wants, my girl gets.”

Awesome. He pretty much dragged me here for no reason.

Cole holds up his hands. “I’d drive, but I’ve had a few beers.” He grins down at the brunette. “I was planning on crashing here for the night too.”

Jace plows past me. “I’m fine.”

I grab his arm. “Give me your keys. I can drive you home.” Thinking fast, I add, “Or I can call you an Uber. Either one works.”

He mumbles something incoherent.

“Um, excuse me,” Britney snaps. “I’m his girlfriend, therefore, I’ll take him home.”

I swear it feels like everyone’s eyes are on us.

Stuffing down the urge to put the bitch in her place, I twist around to face her. “Have you had anything to drink?”

As much as I hate the idea of Britney giving him a ride, it’s more important that he gets home safe. Considering he hates my guts, I’m pretty sure he’d prefer leaving with her.

“I had like half a Bay Breeze three hours ago.”

A quick assessment attests she’s not impaired. “Fine, but—”

“Oh, God. Fuck off, bitch.” She pushes me out of the way. “No way in hell am I gonna stand by and let you try to violate him.”

Say what now? “Excuse me?”

She tosses her head back and cackles. “Oh, honey. Everyone knows you’re obsessed with Jace. I wouldn’t put it past you or your desperation to take advantage of him in his inebriated state, because you know it’s the only way he’d ever fuck you.”

“Wow, Brit-Brit. Projecting much?”

Her eyes narrow into tiny slits. “I beg your pardon?”

Nope, not gonna air Jace’s dirty laundry. “Nothing.”

“That’s what I thought.” She drums her talons up and down Jace’s chest. Eyes closed, he looks like he’s trying his hardest not to throw up. “Now run along and find some other poor guy who’s drunk enough to screw trash like you.” Her nose crinkles. “I’ve got this covered.”

A few people laugh.

“Want some cream for that burn?” some guy calls out.

More laughing.

My hand twitches with the need to launch my fist into her face, but if I do, it won’t end there and Jace might take off during the fight.

Swallowing my pride, I move out of the way.

Britney laces her arm through one of Jace’s. “Let’s go, babe.”

Shaking his head, he staggers back. “No.”

Britney rolls her eyes. “Fine, we’ll hang out inside for a little while.”

She tries tugging him, but Jace doesn’t budge.

“Jace, hon—”

“No,” he grinds out so low and deadly the tiny hairs on my arms stand up.

Laughing nervously, she looks at Cole and Oakley. “A little help, please.”

Neither of them moves a muscle. It’s clear by their expressions they’re not too happy with her at the moment.

She reaches for him again, but that only makes him more irritated.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” he growls, side-stepping her. “I told you before I was done with you and your bullshit.”

Hayley gasps.

“Oh, shit,” Oakley exclaims.

“About damn time,” Cole mutters.

Britney gives Jace a tight smile. “Sweetie, you’re obviously drunk. Earlier you dragged me upstairs because you couldn’t keep your hands off me and kept begging for my mouth.”

That’s a distorted version of an event if I’ve ever heard one.

Britney’s not done yet. “I know I hurt you when I told you we should take a break, but I meant what I said about wanting to be friends.” She tries touching his face, but Jace turns his head. “This is me being your friend. I suggest you don’t do anything to screw that up.”

I’m starting to think she’s the inebriated one, because that’s not what happened at all.

I open my mouth to say something, but Jace starts laughing.

Hysterically.

“Jesus Christ.” He’s literally shaking with laughter. “Your easy access snatch used to be worth the side of freak show that came with it, but not anymore.”

My jaw drops. So does Britney’s.

“Want some cream for that burn?” Oakley calls out.

She shoots him a dirty look before focusing on Jace. “Look, this is your last chance. Do you want to stop being a drunk, belligerent asshole so I can take you home or not?”

He tosses me his keys. “Ready when you are.”

He doesn’t have to tell me twice.

“I swear to God if you leave with her,” Britney warns when he staggers over to me. “I will tell everyone about your little issue.”

Back to her, he flips her the bird.

“Fine. But just so you know, the alcohol will only make that limp dick of yours even more limp.” Her smile is cruel as she looks around the patio. “It’s why I broke up with him tonight. He no longer has what it takes to satisfy me, or any other girl…if you catch my drift.”

My hands curl into fists as Jace turns around.

“You can’t break up with someone who never wanted to date you in the first place,” he snarls. “And maybe my dick would have liked you better if you took care of your little issue down south.” Waving a hand in front of his face, he steps to her. “I’m no doctor, but I’m positive your cunt shouldn’t smell like something crawled up there and died.”

Well, shit. Not only are his words brutal, they’re punctuated by the fact that he seriously looks like he’s going to be sick.

“If I had to spend another minute in that room with you and your fish box, I would have—”

I watch in equal parts horror and enchantment as he projectile vomits chunks of pineapple pizza and whiskey all over her.

Britney screams so loud I’m surprised my eardrums don’t shatter while everyone laughs and cheers.

Jace takes off his shirt and wipes his mouth with it before throwing it at her. “I would have done that.”

He looks over at me. “You ready?”

I try not to focus on those washboard abs of his on display. “Yup.” I sling an arm around his waist when he sways. “But what do you say we find you a toothbrush and some mouthwash first?”