Crimes of Cupidity (Heart Hassle Book 3)

Amidst the pink glow I’m giving off in his dark room, I see him remove his mask and then arch a white brow. “New trick?”

I look down at my arm. “Yeah.”

With a flick of his wrist, he uses his telekinesis to strike a match and light the candles and sconces in the room one by one. Soon, the space lights up enough so that I can see that we’re in a bedroom.

True to his Horned Hook style, he has jewelry, weapons, and all things glittery hanging up all over the place. “New stolen goods?” I say, poking a jeweled dagger at the wall behind me.

He grins. “It’s a tough job, but someone has to do the thieving around here.”

“How can you just be here, throwing a weird underground party on a banishment island? I thought you were supposed to be laying low?”

“This is laying low. I only have a few dozen fae here. It’s a very humble hideout party.”

I sigh and rub my brows. “Belren…”

He looks me up and down in a lascivious way, not ashamed in the slightest when his gaze gets stuck on my chest. “Have you come to your senses and left your mates for me? Is that why you’re here?”

I narrow my eyes on him and put my hands on my hips. “How can you flirt with me when your lover is stuck in prison, all bruised up, frozen, and hungry? I can’t believe you right now.”

The amusement on his face disappears and he looks at me, bewildered. “What in the realm are you talking about?”

“Princess Soora!” I say with a huff. “You’re here partying, flirting, and smoking weird butterflies while fae get it on in your little party cave, when you should be trying to figure out a way to rescue the princess!”

He frowns and absently runs a hand through his long white hair, tucking it behind his gray horns on either side of his head. “The princess has been missing for weeks. Everyone believes her to be dead.”

“She’s not dead. I just saw her a couple of hours ago. She’s being kept in the prison tower.”

He turns and starts pacing around the room, his fingers pinching his lips in thought. “She’s alive,” he says under his breath, more to himself than to me. “You’re sure?”

“Yes, and I don’t think she’d appreciate you flirting with others,” I say, pointing a finger at him accusingly. “And I should warn you—as a cupid, I don’t take kindly to people breaking other people’s hearts.”

Especially hers, I think to myself. She’s had enough heartache. If he hurts her, I will shove a Love Arrow so far up his ass, his heart will poop out sonnets and glitter for the rest of his life.

He stops to look at me with bewilderment. “Wait, you think that the princess and I…” His words trail off, and then he tilts his head back and lets out the most obnoxious laugh I’ve ever heard. It isn’t a short bark, either. Nope. He just keeps going. And going. And going.

“What’s so damn funny?”

Wiping tears from his eyes, he shakes his head, making his horns catch in the candlelight. “The princess and I aren’t lovers.”

My brows furrow. “You aren’t?”

“No. Why did you think that?”

“Well…I mean, I just thought I was picking up some love vibes from her.” A thought comes to me, and I groan. “Oh gods, it’s not unrequited love, is it? She’s in love with you, and you don’t give her the time of day? How could you, Belren?” I demand.

He laughs. “Take a breath, Veil female. It’s not me she loves. Needs, sure, but loves…no.”

“Well…now I’m just confused.”

“Let’s just say we have a mutual acquaintance.”

I tilt my head. “What does that mean?”

“We’ve both been searching for someone.”

This piques my interest. “Who?”

He tosses me a smirk. “Sorry. I don’t give away secrets for free. I’m a collector and a thief. It would be bad for business.”

“I think you might have a hoarding problem.”

I start walking around the room, touching the stolen items hanging up in his room while I think. If the princess was captured because Prince Elphar found out that she’d been helping lead the rebellion, why didn’t he execute her? He must have some other agenda I don’t know about yet. No matter what I do, he’s always two steps ahead of me.

“Can you not do that?” Belren sighs.

Interrupted out of my thoughts, I shoot him a look over my shoulder, my hand is frozen on a scarf made of silk and diamonds. “I can’t look at your stuff?”

“Not that,” he clarifies. “Stop gliding around. It makes your ass look too good, and we’ve already established that you’re going to stay with your harem of mates. So stop swaying around my damn bedroom.”

Now it’s my turn to laugh. “I’m not swaying, I’m walking. And what, you’re not a sharer?” I tease.

He scoffs. “I’m a thief. I thrive on taking what belongs to others. Of course I don’t share.”

He starts striding toward me, his eyes locked onto me with a daring expression. He doesn’t stop until we’re toe-to-toe, and I have to crane my head up to look at him. The look in his eyes makes me gulp. And yet, as handsome as he is, Belren holds his cards too close to his chest for me ever to get a good read on him. I don’t understand him, and I don’t know what his motives are. I’m also sure as hell not going to abandon my guys for him.

“But as I said, I’m also a collector,” he goes on, his voice low and husky as he takes a piece of my pink hair and rubs it between his fingers. “Which means that I am entranced with the rare. The special. The unique. And you, my dear female from beyond the Veil, are entirely singular.”

I have to admit, his close proximity, and the way he’s looking at me freaks me out a bit. I swear, if he moves even an inch closer, we’d be kissing. And I can’t kiss him. He’s not my mate, and he just made his stance about sharing quite clear. I’m not about to cross a line. I need a distraction, and quick. So I do the first thing I can think of.

“Help,” I squeak.

Lex pops up into existence beside me.

“Hi,” she says brightly.

Belren drops my hair and flinches back in surprise. I see his gray eyes widen and dart between us. I press a hand against my hot cheeks from the intense moment between us and take the opportunity to duck past him and put some space between us. There’s no doubt that Belren is attractive and exudes a particular sexy swagger, and it’s difficult to think when he focuses all of that charisma straight-on.

I clear my throat and force my heart to calm down. “About all of that being special stuff…”

“There are two of you,” he says, still staring at Lex.

“There are not two of us,” I correct. “There’s me and there’s her.”

“Two females from beyond the Veil. How is that possible? And why do you look similar? And where the hell did she come from?”

“We’re cupids,” Lex answers. “All cupids look like this.” She looks over at me and tilts her head. “Well, Madame Cupid Emelle’s appearance has…altered slightly. And I came from the Veil.”

Belren’s silver face turns to mine. “You’re the cupid everyone is whispering about?”

I tense slightly, remembering how the genfin in the street called me that, too. “What have you heard?”

Belren taps a jewelry-clad finger against his chin. “That there is a cupid from another world. That she’s wreaking havoc on the realm. Some whispers say you’re a demon, here to punish all of faekind. Others say you’re actually here to help us defeat the prince and end his tyranny. And then, even more say that you’re just a human-bird mutt who has grotesque wings and you’re actually fighting alongside the prince, killing anyone who stands in your way.”

I bristle. “I do not have grotesque wings.”

He cocks a white brow. “That’s what you took away from that?”

“I just don’t like to be incorrectly depicted,” I insist.

“You’re serious about being cupids? You mean, love and sex and all of that?” he asks.

I gesture at the Love Arrows I currently have strapped to my back. “Yep.”

Belren looks bewildered and immensely intrigued. “And she’s your assistant?” he asks dubiously. “Who in the realms gave you an assistant?”

“Don’t say it like that. And it’s a long story. There was a bit of a scuffle in Cupidville.”

“A scuffle?” he laughs.

I wave a hand at him. “I’m sort of in charge now. The old boss, well, like I said. There was a scuffle.”

“I’m sure,” he says, his head moving back to eye Lex.

He does a slow head-to-toe eye fucking, no doubt taking note of the whole hot, strict school teacher thing she has going on. His eyes light up with a predatory kind of challenge. I can practically taste the waves of desire wafting off of him. “You don’t have a gaggle of mates snapping at your heels, do you?” he asks her.

Lex frowns. “What?”

I sigh at him. “Don’t try to seduce my assistant.”

He ignores me. “What’s your name, Pinky?”

“I am cupid sixty-nine,” she answers matter-of-factly. I groan and inwardly face-palm.

The widest smile spreads across his face. “A giver and a taker. What a treat you are.”

“Lex. I’ve shortened her name to Lex,” I say.

“Well, Lex,” he begins, as he saunters over to her. He’s putting his charm on its highest setting, but rather than melt or bolt, Lex just continues to smile at him like she’s the receptionist at a hotel, waiting to check him in and get him out of line. Even when Belren props a hand up on the wall behind her, essentially caging her in, she never loses her polite, but aloof expression. “I’d love to become more acquainted with you.”

I roll my eyes. “You were just flirting with me.”

He shrugs and looks over his shoulder at me. “You’re a beautiful, unique creature. I can’t help myself. Like I said, I’m a collector. I know it when I see something valuable. It was only natural for me to be attracted to you. But like I said, I’m not the sharing type, and you’re stubbornly sticking with your multiples aren’t you?”

“Yes, dammit! They’re my mates.”

He shrugs unapologetically. “Well, then. I know a lost cause when I see it.” He looks back to Lex. “This one, however, doesn’t seem to have a horde of mates tied to her yet. I intend to seduce you,” he tells her, being perfectly serious.

Lex cocks her head. “Seduce me?”

Belren lets a slow grin crawl over his face. “Indeed. Tell me, have you ever done your namesake?” He slowly traces his finger down her arm. “I can assure you, I’m quite good at that number.”

I snap my fingers to get his attention. “Would you please focus?”

He sighs and drops his hand. “You know, for a cupid, you’re being quite the cockblock.”

I open my mouth to tell him off, but Lex interrupts by saying, “Oh, I apologize sir Horny Hooker. I’m not available for romantic relationships. Not only am I a cupid, I am also Cupid Of The Month, as well as Madame Cupid Emelle’s assistant. So you see, I cannot enter into any sort of liaisons, flings, or love affairs of any kind. Not only is it against cupid laws, but I simply don’t have the time. I take my cupid duties very seriously. Apart from my other responsibilities, there are simply too many love matches and sexual interactions that I need to be spreading in the realms.”

I snicker at the look on Belren’s face. “First of all, it’s the Horned Hook,” he says, shooting me a dirty look. “And what is it with you cupids turning me down?” he grumbles.

I chuckle. “Not used to being turned down?”

“No, actually,” he admits.

Yeah, I can see why. Belren is one hot fae wrapped up in pretty silver packaging.

“Can you just rein in the ego for a minute and help me figure out how we’re gonna rescue the princess? You can try seducing Lex later.”

“Fine,” he sighs, like I’m really putting him out.

“Lex, why don’t you go do some cupidy stuff and check in with me later?”

She tilts her head. “Thank you, Madame Cupid Emelle. I’m jonesing to get started on today’s goal!” she says excitedly.

Belren watches her with an amused expression. “And what’s today’s goal, Sixty-Nine?

“I have a broken heart challenge. I’ll be going to the human realm to work on fixing those who have been blacklisted.”

“Blacklisted?” Belren questions. “Cupids blacklist people?”

“Oh, yes,” she nods primly. “If a person has had more than three love matches, but has then ruined said relationships through nefarious actions, they become blacklisted. At that point, only higher-up cupids, such as myself and Madame Cupid Emelle, are permitted to attempt another love match. But since those people have abused love, we must do quite a bit of work to ensure they deserve it and that the next love match is one that they do not abuse. It’s a challenge, but when it works, the blacklisted people can often become the best lovers because they realize how lucky they truly are that love gave them another chance. Rehabilitating blacklisters isn’t easy, but it is rewarding.”

Belren looks over, and I hold my hands up. “Don’t look at me. I never worked any of the blacklist people. I could barely get regular ol’ school sweethearts to stay matched up.”

“And yet you’re in charge,” he says sardonically.

He’s got a point. Not that I’m going to tell him that. I turn to Lex. “Go ahead and get back, Lex. I’m good now.”

In a puff of pink smoke, she disappears.

“Alright,” Belren says, his voice and expression turning serious. “Tell me exactly where the princess is being held.”

I do, and Belren takes notes as I talk. Not by actually writing with the quill, though. Nope, sir master thief uses his power to make the pen write on the paper for him, while he starts packing up supplies in a leather knapsack. He’s great at multitasking.

“Not only does the prison tower have no windows or exterior doors, it also is protected by great magic. No one has ever escaped it before,” he explains.

My heart drops. “Well, that sucks major meatwhistle.”

His lips tilt up slightly. “But…” he goes on, as he tucks the pack over his shoulder. “That’s because I’ve never tried it,” he finishes with a cocky grin.

“So you can do it?”

He floats his mask back to his face, and I watch as it reattaches itself. “I’m the Horned Hook. I can steal anything or anyone.”

Relief spreads through me. “Good. I also…sorta lost my genfins,” I say quickly.

He gives me an exasperated look. “You lost your mates again?”

“I didn’t do it on purpose!”

He sighs at me and rubs a hand down his face. “Okay. We’ll get the princess out, and then I’ll help you find your genfins.” He points at me. “But this is the last time. Stop. Losing. Your. Mates.”

“Okay, okay,” I promise. “Can we please go do your Horned Hook master thief stuff now?”

I can see his smile flash behind his mask. It’s an excited, mischievous look that nearly makes his gray eyes glow. “Let’s go steal us a princess.”