DRAMA NOVEL ONLINE Class Act: Chapter 16
had won another game, and it hadn’t been an easy one. They’d played their hearts out on the field, and only in the last quarter did we gain the upper hand. I wished I could say they’d won based on my efforts tonight, but I’d been so distracted by the cheerleading squad I’d barely done a decent job.
Even if the boys had noticed, they hadn’t commented on it, luckily, but a deep sense of shame landed in my gut, not only for tonight but for my current situation. I was a tool for getting involved with Emery. As I’d struggled with how to treat his camboy act, that was the one thing I’d been able to settle on.
I should never have touched that boy. Now I ached for someone who could never be mine. I’d lost my fucking head, for sure. When had I become so selfish to accept all his love and everything he poured into us when I wasn’t offering him anything back? Because I cared for him, I had to end things the way they’d been. All the sneaking around wasn’t what he deserved.
I’m your what, Abe? You don’t even know. I didn’t call to fight with you. You already do that enough with your wife.
When I’d gotten angry about his camboy routine, his words had come back to me. I had no right to expect anything from him. When he’d asked what he was to me, his voice had held so much hurt. If I kept up this affair, I would only bring him more pain.
It hurt like hell, and my life felt empty without Emery’s radiance, but I was doing this for him. For the first time since I’d met him, I was being unselfish, and I hoped even if he didn’t understand it at this moment, he would in the future.
The cheerleaders walked by our bus to their smaller van parked next to ours, and I scanned every face until I found him. My heart squeezed so tightly I could barely breathe. He was with Mandy, her arm through his as she prattled on.
Please make him happy for me, Mandy.
As though sensing me, Emery turned his head and looked straight into my eyes. The connection only lasted a second, but when he broke the contact, it felt like he’d severed my soul. What else could be responsible for this emptiness inside me?
Emery, baby…
I closed my eyes and sat back as the bus driver announced we were departing. I’d already checked off the players.
The three-hour drive back to the school left me drained, but when we filed off the bus, I worked up the energy to give them one final hearty “well done.”
I trudged to my office. The halls were as empty as my heart. Until Emery showed up in my life, my mediocre marriage hadn’t bothered me much. Could I get back to that normal?
Inside, I clicked on the light. I’d stayed away from my office as much as possible over the past couple of days. It reminded me too much of Emery. His ghost was everywhere, sorting through my files to ensure I hadn’t fucked them up, sitting on top of my desk, opening the window to let in fresh air, and sliding onto my lap.
I sucked in a deep, painful breath. Fuck. How was I supposed to do this? Walking away should be easier, but even now I wanted to text him to sneak off and meet me in my office. I wanted his legs around my waist while I kissed him.
I wanted to see him smile. His genuine smile.
I dug my phone out of my pocket and punched in a message.
I miss…
My fingers stilled. What was I doing? Emery deserved better than stolen moments. He deserved someone who could take care of him openly so he could quit performing for other men. If I couldn’t do that for him, what right did I have to be with him?
I shoved my phone back into my pocket and walked over to my desk. The creak of the door startled me, and I turned around. Emery stood framed in the doorway, still dressed in his cheerleading outfit. I opened my mouth to tell him to leave, but it felt so good seeing him in my office again that I couldn’t get the words out.
“You don’t look happy to see me,” he said.
How could I? My heart was warring with my head. At the ripe old age of forty-four, I should have all this shit figured out. I had a wife. A daughter. A boy on the side wasn’t just a no-no. It was a fucking disaster.
Then why didn’t I tell him to leave?
“I’m not happy, Emery. Everything hurts. Seeing you hurts most of all.”
He closed the door behind him but didn’t move toward me. “Then make it stop, Abe. I don’t want to hurt like this anymore either.”
“It’s better to hurt this way now than to hurt much more later.”
“Why do we have to hurt at all?”
I shook my head. “Don’t you see? The way we started this, we’re bound to hurt everyone we love. I’ll only hurt you more in the long run. It doesn’t seem like it, but this is the best for you. If I can’t give you my everything, you shouldn’t settle for just a piece of me.”
“But don’t I have a right to make that decision for myself? About what I want?”
“I need to take Mandy home.”
“She left with a couple of the other girls. I told her I’d let you know.”
“You—”
“She suspects nothing, Abe. I promise.”
I inhaled deeply, held it for a few seconds, then let the air out. “Can you try to see my side?”
“What side is that? You want me but won’t admit it?”
“I admit it. I want you. Not a day goes by that you’re not a constant thought in my mind. But what I want from you is too much for what I can offer you.”
“It’s enough.”
“Emery, come here.”
He vaulted in my arms in a second. Emery wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed his face into my chest. I cupped the back of his head. It felt so good having him back in my arms. The temptation was great to hold on to him and not care about who I would hurt with my selfishness.
“Never doubt how much I want you and care for you.” I stroked his curls. “I want only the best for you, and I’m telling you, right now, the last thing you need is someone else to take from you without giving back. You need someone who’ll adore you.”
“I already feel that way when I’m with you. Just give us a chance to work this out.”
“I will if you can tell me honestly that me having a wife doesn’t bother you.”
He trembled against me, then sagged into me. I tightened my grip around him and kissed his hair. “I try not to let it,” he finally said.
I squeezed his waist and released him. “But it does. Go home, Emery. For now.”
He snapped his head back and stared up at me with wide eyes. “What does that mean? For now?”
I wanted to say the words, but I couldn’t because I didn’t even know if I had the courage to follow through. It was better for me to act first and then think about everything else after.
“It means that if we’re meant to be together, then it will be. Even if that’s not right now.”
His cheeks went red, and he groaned. “That doesn’t help one bit. What if I find somebody else tomorrow?”
My throat tightened, and I forced the words out. “As long as you’re happy, I’ll live with it.”
Emery narrowed his eyes. “Well, if you divorce your wife for someone else, it’d better only be me. I’m not so generous to wish you happiness with anybody else.”
The fierceness of his words made me smile. I couldn’t resist leaning forward and brushing my lips against his cheek. “Go home, sweet Emery.”
After Emery left, I stared into space, holding on to the feeling of having him in my arms. Being with him for just a few minutes had already flipped my night around. Did I dare to try again with Emery the right way this time?
I drove home in a zombie-like state, my heart beating so hard it threatened to explode from my chest. When I married Teresa, I’d made a vow for an eternity. It wasn’t a simple feat to break that vow, but I couldn’t drag Emery any further into an extramarital affair. My wife shouldn’t be able to use him as a weapon against me.
This was the only way to do right by Emery.
I parked in the garage, relieved to find Teresa’s car already in its parking spot. I tightened my hands on the steering wheel and inhaled and exhaled several times. Images flashed through my head of how happy we’d been on our wedding day.
We’d been in love.
We had a daughter together.
Our marriage was supposed to last forever.
Was I really throwing it all away for a chance to be with Emery? Someone I couldn’t even have a proper relationship with until he graduated? And even then, the school might question what our relationship was in the year Emery was a student.
When I entered the kitchen, a delicious aroma greeted me, which was rare if I wasn’t the one doing the cooking. Teresa had made me dinner. Too bad I wasn’t hungry. I put the plate in the fridge and made my way upstairs, but in case she was already sleeping, I showered in the guest bedroom—Emery’s room.
I snuck into our bedroom, moving as quietly as possible, but I had to click on the bedside lamp to find my pajamas. When I’d slipped on a pair of shorts, I grabbed the pillow from the bed.
“Abe?”
“Yeah, I’m home. Go back to sleep.”
She groaned. “I must have fallen asleep. I was waiting up for you.” She sat up, letting the sheet fall to her waist. The sheer lace negligee she had on barely covered her ample breasts.
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to.” She patted the bed beside her. “We’ve been fighting over silly things, and I want to make it up to you. I’m so sorry if I’ve been bitchy lately, but I was under so much stress at work, trying to make partner.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s all over now, though.”
“What do you mean?”
“They didn’t make me partner. They chose someone else.”
Oh, shit. We might have had our differences, but she’d worked hard. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m done giving my all to people who can’t appreciate it. I was a fool for focusing so much on my career and not giving my best to my family.” She ran a hand through her hair and pouted. “Forgive me, Abe.”
My chest tightened. This wasn’t the way I’d wanted things to happen. The Teresa who enjoyed her career more than anything else might have made my divorce request bearable, but Teresa wanting to fix our marriage wouldn’t be so easy to let go.
“Teresa—”
“I know you’ve been sneaking out of bed and sleeping in the den. Sex has been an issue between us because I’ve been too busy, but I’m here now.”
“You told me to sleep with anyone else I want to,” I said. “Did you forget?”
“I’m sorry.” She crawled over to me on her knees. “I don’t have any excuse except that sex was the last thing on my mind while I was trying hard to impress my bosses.”
“And now that you were rejected, you’ve come running back?”
“You don’t have to make it seem like a bad thing.”
“It is a bad thing.” I took a step back. “Because I came here tonight to ask you for a divorce.”
“A divorce?” She laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I’m dead serious, and I’d prefer if we do this as peacefully as possible, for Mandy’s sake. Regardless of the outcome, we will always share a daughter, and she doesn’t have to suffer through this.”
Her face fell. “You’re seriously asking me for a divorce?”
“Yes.”
“Why? I already told you I’ll be less devoted to my work and be home more.”
“It’s not just that, Teresa. It’s everything that’s led up to this point.”
“Because of the sex?”
“That’s just one part of it. We don’t communicate. There’s no warmth between us. Do you know you try to belittle me whenever you get the chance? You went so far as to hit me, and I’d never lay a hand on you.”
“That was all a mistake.”
“A very costly one. A part of me will always love you, but the kind of love that should be present between a couple isn’t there anymore. Please don’t make this difficult.”
She narrowed her eyes into slits. “Why would you bring up that I told you to have sex with someone else? That’s it, isn’t it? You’ve slept with some random bitch, and now what? You want me out of your life so she can replace me?”
“I haven’t slept with anyone.” I’d gotten my dick sucked, but I hadn’t gone that far.
“You’re a terrible liar, Abe. I can see it on your face that there’s someone else. Tell me I’m lying, if you dare.”
I opened my mouth, but no words came out. I shook my head. “This has nothing to do with them. If anything, it just made me aware that I’ve stayed married to you longer than I should have.”
“Who is she?”
“Teresa.”
“It doesn’t matter because I’ll eventually find out. I’m not giving you a divorce, Abe, so forget about it.”
“I don’t need your consent, Teresa. You’re a lawyer. You already know this. I’m just doing the decent thing by—”
“The decent thing is not to allow a home-wrecker to tear our family apart. That’s the decent thing.”