Chasing Rainbows

                “Mr Coren, you can’t leave...” He’d made it to the doorstep of the hospital when the voice stopped him.

Jacob glanced down at the woman in his arms; she’d stopped crying now, but was still shaking. He couldn’t begin to imagine what she’d been through, and all he wanted was to take her home, away from all this.

Turning to the young nurse who’d spoken to him, he shook his head, “I’m leaving.”

                “But you’re waiting on an x-ray...the doctor wants to see it.”

Emma lifted her head from his chest and looked up at Jacob; she’d been wallowing in both self pity and the overwhelming scent of him since he’d appeared; now as she really looked at him she could see the bruises to his jaw and the pained expression on his face.

                “Jacob? Are you hurt?”

He looked down at her and gave a lopsided smile, “they think I’ve got a couple of broken ribs.”

                “Put me down then!”

She wriggled until he lowered her to the floor, “I can carry you Emma, I want to.”

Emma shook her head, “you need to do whatever they want. What happened?” She took in his appearance then, for the first time, he had a cut on his temple, blood spattered on to his shirt, it had been immaculate and white when he’d left, now it was dirty. His bow tie was gone and his beautiful tux was torn. “Jacob?”

Taking her hand he followed the nurse to the room he’d been allocated earlier, there he climbed onto the bed, pulling Emma beside him, and he was rewarded with a groan as she took the weight off her limbs again.

                “Are you alright?” he stroked the hair from her eyes, taking in her pallid complexion, the anxiety, the worry all still evident on her face. “I can’t...”

He took her hands and she looked up at him, eyes wide, fresh tears gathering there, “I thought you were dead...the man...” Emma almost gagged on the smell that was still so vivid in her nose, burning hair and acrid flesh. “Who was he?”

Jacob sat down next to her, still holding her hands firmly, “I was carjacked. I’d left my parents, basically told them to piss off. I walked into the hotel, and they were there. And suddenly it all made sense. You were SO right, I don’t need them anymore; I have you, both of you. I wanted to come home, apologise to you, make it right.” He touched her cheek in wonder, “but I got held up at gunpoint at a red light. Guy got in, some loser, made me drive out of the city, gun to my head. He made me get out of the car, in the middle of nowhere, I tried to overpower him, but he had a gun. Kicked me a few times,” he stretched his jaw as if to demonstrate that he’d took it on the chin. “I’m waiting to see if I’ve got broken ribs.”

                “You could have been killed...I thought you were...” She gulped, trying to calm herself again. This was all far too much for her.

He took a deep breath then smiled, he was more scared about her, now, than he head when he’d been at the end of the barrel, “so I was stranded miles away with no money, no phone. I had to walk for hours. Finally got to a gas station, the server there called the police. By that time they’d already presumed I was dead.” He shuddered, “I am so sorry.”

                “For what?”

He sighed, “for everything. We were getting on, and then it was hell again. That was all my fault.”

Emma leaned in to him and was rewarded by his arms wrapping around her, his strong chest taking her weight. “I couldn’t cope with losing you. This is so hard.”

He smiled, swiping her tears away with a thumb, “and I can’t lose you either. Every second that I looked at that gun I was overwhelmed with fear, not for me, but for the fact that I’d not see you again, not talk to you...and I’d never meet our baby.” He looked up for a moment, emotion taking its toll on him too. “Look we need to talk, from the beginning, but there are things that have to be done here first.”

Reaching up she cupped his cheek in her hand, “does it hurt?”

Shaking his head he pressed his cheek harder into her hand, “no, not really. Maybe tomorrow.”

                “I made you buy a car. If you’d gone by cab...or even your bike...” she offered with a nervous laugh.

He laughed at that, “that’s not your fault; it was one of those things, ok? Don’t beat yourself up about that. Look there are things I have to tell you. Things I SHOULD have told you.”

At that point the doctor appeared, wanting him to have x-rays. As he made for the door, he looked back at Emma sat on his bed, lost, scared.

                “I’ll be two minutes. Ok?” She nodded, trying to muster a smile, but he could see how hard this was for her. “Can I do this x-rays another time?”

                “Jacob you have to have them now. I’m fine.” She smiled, “we can talk at home, there’s plenty of time.”

Half an hour later they were in a taxi heading across the city, Jacob nursing two confirmed broken ribs, Emma curled up in his arms, emotionally drained. This had been the longest day and night.

Back in the house, they both made for the lounge, Jacob insisting she sit before finding a bottle of brandy and pouring them each a stiff measure.

                “I shouldn’t...”

He grinned though the humour never made it to his eyes, “one won’t hurt, and it’s medicinal.”

She took the glass, cradling it in her hands; hating that yet another wash of tears were close.

                “I’m worried about you Emma, you look so pale.”

She hiccupped fighting so many emotions, trying to keep her voice steady, “It was a shock. The police, it was the middle of the night...” she shuddered, “and then I saw a dead body!”

Now the tears fell again, he tried to hold on to her, stop her crying, but all he could do was be there, let her shed her emotions.

                “I still can’t believe they made a heavily pregnant woman do that.” He had every intention of calling the Police Department the following day and complaining. She was in a terrible state, and yet he had everything to tell her.

                “Look, why don’t we go to bed? Whether you like it or not I am not letting you out of my sight, so you’re in with me, we HAVE to talk, but you have to be up to it. And you’re exhausted.”

She felt as passive as she allowed him to lead her upstairs; he even found her pyjamas and dressed her in them.

                “This is torture!” He offered jokily as he helped her step into the cotton shorts.

Emma gave a little chuckle, then lowered her weary body down to bed; Jacob tucked her in, then headed for the bathroom.  He was like an overenthusiastic teen, her body, the adrenaline; it was all making him struggle to remain in control. Cleaning his teeth, thinking of awful things, deflated his ardour somewhat, and he finally made it back to bed to find Emma shivering.

He toyed with calling the doctor, after all he had to think of them both, instead, she clung to him desperately and he held her until her breathing was steady and her body still.

Sleep was more elusive to him, he thought back to the events of the evening. His parents, so quick to change colour, so demanding, and he’d finally stood up to them. Told them that he didn’t care, and for the first time it wasn’t just a string of words, wasn’t bravado. This time he meant it, he had Emma, the baby, purpose and reason, and he no longer cared about their approval.

He’d felt so liberated when he’d walked out of the hotel restaurant. So in control. Then within minutes he was at the end of a barrel. And all he’d thought as he’d driven under threat of his life was that he wouldn’t see Emma again, that he’d abandon her, leave her alone to bring up their baby. He hated that, the emotion choked him even now. All he wanted was to take her away, cocoon her away somewhere quiet, and look after her every whim.

And he had that chance; he had a second chance to do that, to make this right. It had all been so messy, but from the moment he had set eyes on Emma in that shopping mall in Vegas eight months earlier nothing had been the same.  Now he had to explain his lies...or rather his omissions, he hadn’t been straight with her, and that was his next job, to make her realise how he felt, to know he was sorry, and to know that he loved her, and always would.

That thought had scared him when it first entered his head, but not now. He looked down at her, so relaxed in sleep and sighed, he loved her. There was no secret there, not anymore.

Emma stretched, took in things before she opened her eyes, she was spooned against Jacob, if there was any question as to who had his arms wrapped around her, whose chest nursed her spine then the smell that entered her nostrils would quash any doubt. He responded to her moving by pulling her closer, and she could feel his breath against the back of her neck. Bliss.

                “You awake?” His breath on the back of her neck was more exciting than anything she remembered. Turning in his arms she looked up at him and gave a smile.

                “I feel like I’ve been asleep for years.”

“Well it feels you have to me too,” he breathed before brushing his lips across hers. She wanted to cling to him in a wanton way, to forget everything but the here and now, the thought of a deep and meaningful conversation was hard, too hard.

Lifting a hand he stroked a curl of hair out of her eyes, “we need to talk Emma.”

She nodded quietly, “you feeling ok?”

Nodding a ‘yes’ he smiled, “you hate this, hey?”

Emma closed her eyes, “it’s hard for me.”

His eyes were on her intently, his fingers were still stroking, from her cheek into her hair and she was barely able to focus, “Jacob please.” She snatched at his hand, dragging it away from her traumatised skin.

He gave a throaty laugh, “I have to explain things to you Emma, things I should have told you. And I’m not letting you run away ok?”

When she tried to evade his eyes, blushed slightly, he laughed, pulling her into his chest, curling his arms around her. “I’ve not been honest with you, and for that I’m sorry.” She gulped at that, scared to know exactly what he was going to say. “When we were in London, you thought I was sightseeing.”

She nodded, “but you weren’t, that hurt me so much. That you wouldn’t tell me the truth. That you didn’t trust me.”

His fingers were stroking her skin again, one along her spine, the other on a bare shoulder, “I know, and I have to apologise for that. Look, I have been working on a games concept since I was a teenager. In the beginning it was a dream, a futuristic vision, but in London I met up with some Japanese business men, they wanted to buy the prototype, I didn’t tell you...” He shrugged, “I don’t know why, maybe because I wanted it to happen before I said anything. I didn’t want to fail.”

She sighed, leaning back to look at him, moving her thumb to run over his cheekbone, “because you’ve always failed in your parents’ eyes, you thought I’d be as judgemental?”

He laughed, “we never gave each other time did we? I bombarded you with how I wanted things to be, you didn’t have a look in. Suddenly I had everything I didn’t know I wanted, but I was still anxious, worried. I thought I’d drive you away, because I never really had you. Did I?”

Emma sighed, “it was the last thing I thought I would happen to me. Getting married like we did. I don’t do things like that. I mean...” she swallowed a knot of emotion, “the only other relationship of any meaning I’ve had ended when he dumped me unceremoniously. Broke my heart.”

He sighed, “I will never hurt you, I want to look after you, protect you...” The emotion was suddenly charged between them, and Emma had to look away again.