Chase: and the girl who came back

I can’t think about what I just said to Arden, Ally and Rhys.

I know I shouldn’t have said those things, but they don’t understand.

I quickly get into Wander and pull up Dad’s number and wait for the phone to connect. I haven’t spoken to him since the day after Chase’s birthday.

I need his help.

“Yasmin?” He’s gruff voice comes through.

“Dad…” I say my voice breaking.

“What’s wrong?” I can hear the concern in his voice. It’s nice to know he still cares even after how we ended things.

“Millie’s missing.”

“What do you mean she’s missing?”

“She was supposed to meet us for dinner. I thought she was with her friend. Her friend thought she was with me. We didn’t realise until her friend showed up without her. Her phone is off.” The panic is evident in my voice. They weren’t supposed to be able to find us. I thought we had left this all behind us.

“It’s okay, we’ll find her. I’ll meet you at the house.”

“Okay,” I say officially broken. I don’t know what else to do. I’ve done everything I could to protect Millie. She knows just how important it is to check in with me. When we stayed at the hotel, I explained to her what had happened and why we moved here as suddenly as we did.

Dad’s the police officer. He has the resources to find her without triggering a chain of events we may not all come back from. I shiver as I put Wander in drive and make my way to the house I’ve barely stayed in. This place doesn’t feel like home.

There’s a police car in the driveway as I pull up. I can’t stop the thoughts in my head. They come fast. I miss Chase already. I’ve gotten used to him being around to keep me grounded and quiet the noise in my head. Why did I react the way I did?

I find dad and a gentleman I don’t know in the longue room. A laptop is set up on the coffee table.

Dad walks over to me and pulls me into his arms. I can’t remember the last time Dad hugged me. I let him, relishing in the comfort his arms provide even if he has been a shitty father.

“It’s okay. We’ll find her.” He whispers to me.

“What if… What if they have her?” I sob. Finally letting the emotions that have threatened to take over from the moment I figured out she was missing.

“Shhh… it’s okay. We can’t think like that yet. We’re trying to find her last location. Then we will head out there and see if we can figure out what happened.” Dad softly rubs my back, trying to provide more comfort and to calm me down.

It doesn’t work.

He’s not Chase.

My heart aches a little knowing I hurt them all when I walked out of the restaurant.

I move away from Dad and start to pace the room.

Twenty minutes later my phone starts buzzing in my hand.

Millie

“Millie…”

“Yasmin, I’m so sorry. I’m okay,” she says in a hurry.

“Where are you?”

“I’m safe. I turned my phone off without thinking. I’m sorry.”

“WHERE ARE YOU?” I ask louder, letting the anger now take over. She turned her phone off?

What the actual fuck?

“I’m with Chase. He’s bringing me home.”

“You’re with Chase? Where were you?” Why is she with Chase? Wait. How is she with Chase? It’s been less than an hour since I last saw him.

“They found me.” Ohh. They looked for her, even after I was a bitch and pushed them all away refusing their help.

“I’m at Dad’s,” I say not quite sure what else to say to her. Now I know she’s okay, I’m pissed off.

“I’ll be there soon,” she says and hangs up the phone.

I turn to find Dad watching me, waiting for an explanation.

“She’s okay. I don’t know where she was, but Chase found her and they’re bringing her home,” I say both relieved and angry. How could she be so careless?

Twenty minutes later Millie comes rushing through the door.

“I’m so sorry.” She rushes making her way into the lounge room. I take in her appearance. Her hair is a mess, her face flushed, but she doesn’t look sorry.

“Where were you?” I ask my tone coming out colder than even I was expecting.

“I was with a friend?” She says looking between Dad and I.

“Who?” I ask giving her my best glare.

“Just a friend. I’m sorry I didn’t call. I turned my phone off without thinking,” she tells me again.

“After everything I told you about why we are here, how could you be so careless?” I yell.

I can’t deal with this. She knows better. I turn to Dad.

“You need to deal with this. I can’t. This is your chance.” My shoulders sag as the energy drains out of me. I’m relieved that Millie is okay. I just need to find a way to stop myself from going to level ten freak out at the first sign of trouble.

My phone vibrates in my pocket, but I ignore it. I know who it will be, and I need some time before I deal with all of that.

Dad walks over to me and gives me a brief hug. “Why don’t you go and have a shower? I’ll handle this.” He kisses the top of my head and I don’t argue. I don’t even look back at Millie. I leave the room and hope like hell that Dad does what he promises.

He’s been sending messages telling me he wants another shot. This is it.

I’m exhausted. I shouldn’t have to be a parent.

I crawl into my bed after my shower and lay in the dark. It feels strange. I’ve barely slept in this room and when I did, Chase was here with me. It doesn’t feel like my room.

Chase’s cologne still lingers on my pillow. It’s faint but I can still smell it. The smell causes tears to fall.

I can’t believe that even after I pushed him away and said horrible things to his friends that he still found Millie and sent her home.

I didn’t mean to hurt them, but the panic set in.

What if my past did catch up with me?

I miss Chase already.

Checking my phone, there are messages from everyone. Including Rhys. Which surprises me more than anything. I was hardest on him.

Rhys: I don’t expect an apology. You’re right. But Ally deserves one.

They all deserve an apology I was a bitch to all of them. I said things I really didn’t mean.

I open Ally’s next.

Ally: I don’t hate you for what you said. Are you okay? You know I’m here when you’re ready to talk.

Arden: I know why you did what you did. It won’t work. You have a week and then you’ll have no choice but to talk to us.

Typical Ally and Arden. Neither of them pushing, giving me the space. Well kind of. I have no doubt Arden will follow through with his threat.

The last messages are from Chase

Chase: We found Millie and are bringing her home

Chase: I hope this shows you that you can trust us to help

Chase: I don’t know what happened in the past, but I want to know Yasmin. I want to be that person for you

Chase: Arden, Ally and Rhys have all told me to give you some space.

Chase: I want you to know that’s hard for me

Chase: I want to hold you

Chase: I want to help you with whatever is going on

Chase: I miss you

I don’t reply. I don’t know what to say to them. The tears continue to flow. I was mean to them. I don’t deserve their kindness.

Pulling the cover over my head I start up my kindle and read, knowing already that tonight I’m not going to get much sleep.

***

Early in the morning, Millie comes into my room and crawls into bed with me. Daisy isn’t far behind her. Chase must have dropped Daisy off.

I haven’t slept. Instead, I’m halfway through my second book.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers. Her voice is more sympathetic today. I wonder if now that she has had time to think that she really does understand how much her actions affected not only me but everyone else around.

“What happened yesterday?” I ask. I really hope she’ll tell me the truth this time.

“I was stupid. I didn’t think.” She starts fidgeting with the edge of the blanket.

“Who were you with?”

“Hayden,” she says hiding her head in the pillow.

“Hayden? As in Rhys’ brother?” I ask curiously. I know they’ve hung out a few times with all of us when Rhys had to babysit. But I didn’t realise it was something they were doing outside of the group.

“Yeah,” she says.

“Do you like him?” Obviously, that would be the only explanation for her to be hanging out with him one on one.

“Yes… No… Maybe… I don’t know. I like spending time with him.”

From what I’ve heard, I know Hayden is trouble.

“I don’t like the idea of you being alone with him. I’m not saying you can’t hang out with him. I just want other people to be there. I know Hayden is a bit of a bad boy. You don’t need to be mixed up in that.” I can’t tell her who she can and can’t hang out with. I refuse to be that person and I know that even if he is trouble, he’s Rhys’ brother.

“Okay. But Dad grounded me last night, so you don’t have to worry.”

“He did what?” I ask, unable to keep the shock out of my voice.

“He grounded me for the rest of the school year. School and soccer are the only reasons I’m allowed to leave the house unless I’m with you or him.” She says sitting up to pat Daisy.

“Wow, does he plan on monitoring this?” I ask. Because there is no way I’m doing it. It’s only three weeks until the end of the school year, so the punishment isn’t that harsh. But I still don’t want to be the one to enforce it.

I don’t even know how I feel about being here again. Dad still has a lot of making up to do.

“Yeah, he said he has swapped his shifts. He’ll be home by dinner most nights.”

“Wow.” I don’t know what else to say. I’ve been pushing him for this for years.

“Yep. I don’t know how I feel. He’s never been here,” Millie says her voice breaking.

I sit up and pull her in for a hug.

“It’s okay Mills, this is a good thing. You deserve to have him play an active part in your life. You may be old enough to look after yourself but having Dad to lean on will be a good thing.”

“What about you? You missed out on having that.”

“I know I did, but I’m okay. I’ll be okay. Dad and I may repair or relationship over time, but for now I’ll stay here with you so that you have that chance. I leave next year, but I need to know that you and Dad will be okay. That you won’t be left alone.”

“I’m sorry you had to grow up so quick just to look after me,” she sobs.

“It’s okay Mills. I wouldn’t change it for the world. How about we have a movie day?” I ask, trying to cheer her up. It’s true I had to grow up to look after Millie. I missed out on being a teenager and having a life. I just pushed away my friends. I don’t know how to do this. But I do know that once I figure it out, that my friends will be there for me. I just need to let them in.

“Sounds good. Chase said they were giving you some space. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, it will be. I got upset and said some hurtful things. I’m working through it all. It’s not their fault. It’s mine.”

“They’re good for you Yas, you smile and laugh more when you are with them. It’s like you are no longer carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. They help you in a way I never could. Don’t freeze them out for long.”

I let Millie’s words sink in. She’s right. They make me happy and help carry some of my burdens without me even realising that is what they’re doing. “I won’t. Wanna Facetime Smalls before we get some breakfast?” I ask. I miss seeing his smiling face, and I know a good chat with him will help break through the mood I’m in.