Chase: and the girl who came back

“Shit,” I gasp, sitting up and trying to catch my breath.

My skin is covered in sweat, my hair wet and stuck to my face. Slowing my breathing while looking around at the unfamiliar room, trying to find something to focus on while I calm down from the night terror. I focus on the alarm clock on the nightstand.

5 a.m. Great.

I’ve only had two hours sleep. Again.

My hand shoots out, trying to locate my phone on my nightstand.

My room is still dark, so it takes a moment for my eyes to adjust to the light of the screen. There’s no point in going back to sleep when I have to be up soon to get ready for my first day at Canary Bay High.

Opening my email app I scroll through all the unread messages looking for the newsletters from my favourite authors. My pulse slowly starts to return to normal and the remnants of the night terror gradually slipping away.

Sitting up and turning on the lamp I take in my room. There are still boxes piled high in the corner, and empty bookcases line the wall opposite my bed, waiting to be filled with my books.

We arrived in Canary Bay late Friday night after spending Saturday unpacking and yesterday running all around town getting uniforms, groceries, and anything else we need to start school. I didn’t have time to unpack my books. If I didn’t love seeing them on my shelves, I wouldn’t bother. They are just going to be packed up again in a few months when I leave for university.

Putting my clothes away took all the energy I had left last night before I curled up in bed with my Kindle.

Making my way to my dresser, I pull out a black hoodie and pull it over my head. It is two sizes too big. It’s colder here this time of year than what I am used to. We moved from somewhere a little more tropical. Unfortunately, even though it’s spring, the mornings are still cool here.

I’m not complaining though. I love the cold. I pull on some socks and slip on my favourite red Converses. After a quick stop in the bathroom to fix my messy bun, I make my way down the stairs to take Daisy for a walk.

She’s been cooped up all weekend and after the car trip on Friday, she probably needs a good walk. I know I could use the fresh air after that night terror. I don’t bother trying to be quiet. Millie will sleep through anything.

She slept through a cyclone once. I envy her some days. Her ability to fall asleep anywhere is truly a gift.

I smile at Daisy as she lazily looks up from her bed by the front door. She always sleeps at the front door when Dad isn’t home, she’s very protective of Millie and I. Especially when we are home alone.

Daisy is a Golden Labrador that Dad brought home after Mum died. He thought it might help Millie cope with losing Mum. At the time it just felt like a bribe rather than a present.

The moment my shoes hit the bottom step, she’s up and wagging her tail excitedly, she follows me as I grab her lead.

I put my headphones in and start up Spotify, picking a random 90’s playlist to listen to on the walk. I decide it is probably safer to drop a pin at my location, so I don’t get lost in a new neighbourhood.

Daisy and I take off down the street. I let her lead the way, while I attempt to take in my surroundings. The streets are quiet at this hour, and the skies are starting to lighten as the sun peeks through.

The grass is glistening with a light frost. We are in the less prominent area of Canary Bay. The houses along the street vary from slightly run down to modest family homes that could use a coat of paint and some TLC.

We moved into my grandma’s house. Dad and his mum hadn’t been close but when she passed away twelve months ago, she left him her house. Instead of selling it, he decided to rent it out. The last tenant moved out a month ago and when Dad decided that it was time for a fresh start for me, he put in for a transfer with the station and then told us girls we were moving back to Canary Bay.

We moved away from Canary Bay when I was four. I haven’t been back since then.

I don’t remember anything about this town. It’s like I never lived here. I was hoping that over the weekend something would seem familiar, but it’s like I’m seeing it all for the first time.

Canary Bay is a smallish coastal town. There isn’t much here. A few blocks of shops, a shopping centre, some pubs and a school. There’s a police station and a decent-sized hospital but otherwise not much else.

New Hope is about an hour away, and it’s bigger with more of a city style. Before we moved here, I had planned to move to New Hope for University.

Well, I hoped to if I was accepted into the law degree I wanted to study. I don’t know why, but when I was looking at Universities New Hope stood out. It was almost as if I was drawn to it.

I started to research the area and that was when I discovered it was an hour from Canary Bay. The more I looked the more I realised that New Hope was where I needed to be. There was a Disney-type theme in New Hope and the surrounding areas. Neverland University was the elite sport-orientated university. I knew that I’d never be able to get a scholarship big enough to go there. But I instantly fell in love with the area and knew that New Hope University would be the school I went to.

When I told Dad I wanted to move to New Hope for school, he argued with me about it. He wanted me to stay closer to home at the time. He told me moving over twenty hours away was never going to happen.

Dad was furious. I don’t’ know if it was because I’d be so close to Canary Bay or if it was because he’d be losing his live-in babysitter.

Dad has never been present. Sure, he provides for us, but that’s about it. He left us at home with our alcoholic mother. He’s a police officer and has always worked nights, weekends, double shifts and even covered shifts in different towns in order to avoid being at home. Which meant not only did I raise myself, I had to raise Millie as well.

Mum would often take off for days at a time on a bender and then when she was home, she’d either be drunk or sleeping off a hangover.

I did everything I could to give Millie a normal life. She plays soccer, has friends and knows that I’ll always be there for her.

It was a difficult decision to make to choose a school so far away from home, I spoke with Millie about it for ages. She’s the one that encouraged me to go for it. I didn’t want to leave her behind, so Dad had two choices: either he stepped up and started being a dad or Millie would come with me, and he could just pay for all her expenses to live with me in New Hope. She’d be sixteen by the time I was planning on moving.

I really hoped he’d step up. He’s missed his chance at being a fatherly figure to me, but he still has time to be one for Millie.

I love him, but he stopped being my dad the week after Mum died and I realised that he was going to continue to be absent.

I always made excuses for him. I thought it was Mum he didn’t want to be around.

It was a bitter pill to swallow when nothing changed after she was gone.

It would be hard, but I knew we could make it work. She’s a good kid but Dad didn’t have an excuse to not be at home anymore. He needed to step up and be a dad. He still has a chance to have that relationship with Millie. She is fifteen, and she needs him. I will always love him, but he stopped being my dad when he started leaving us for longer periods of time.

We had been fighting about it for months. But after the incident, he decided it was a good idea to get a fresh start.

I feel guilty because Millie has been uprooted halfway through high school, but she promised me she was okay with it.

I only have two months of school left before I get to start making the plans for the move early next year. I’m not planning on making friends. I don’t really know how. Where Millie is a social butterfly, I’m the opposite. I’ve only really had one friend. My focus has always been Millie. Given that I only have a few months here, I’m kind of okay with not making friends.

I’ll try next year.

My phone vibrates in my pocket. My fingers are frozen, so in the struggle to get my phone from my pocket I drop Daisy’s lead.

“Shit” I mutter as I watch her take-off up a driveway. Ignoring the message, I follow her whisper yelling her name, trying not to wake up the neighbours. I turn the corner and freeze.

Daisy is sitting with her tail wagging; someone is crouched down patting her. I approach with caution, thankful that the sun has finally started to make an appearance and that it is no longer dark. Daisy starts licking playfully at the stranger’s face, and he laughs. I stop in my tracks again. The stranger’s laugh loosening some of the tension I didn’t even know I was holding.

Daisy doesn’t like strangers. It’s odd to see her so affectionate with someone she doesn’t know. They say a dog is a good judge of character.

I don’t think this guy is a serial killer.

But a girl can never be too careful.

“I’m so sorry, Daisy come here,” I say finding my voice. It comes out quiet and timid. I’m only this way in situations that make me uncomfortable or when I don’t know someone. I don’t need to advertise my awkwardness and scare someone off from the start. Daisy doesn’t listen. She continues her assault on the stranger.

Ever so slowly, he lifts his head, his hands stroking Daisy’s coat methodically. I take in his features; he has a strong jaw with a hint of facial hair. His dark hair hangs low but not quite covering his eyes. He flicks it back while his eyes slowly roam up my body. His features are hard, but his mouth turns up in a smirk.

“Uhh, what the fuck is on your pants?” He sounds like he just woke up, his voice rough and gravelly with a hint of amusement. I look down and realise I am still in my pink Disney princess pjs. I don’t really care. I would live in my pjs if I could. He leans forward trying to get a closer look.

“Are they princesses?” His voice is rough, but the amusement is clear now. He stands and Daisy sits by his feet.

Traitor.

She is supposed to protect me, not make friends with a stranger who could still be a serial killer. Ignoring his question about my pyjamas.

“Are you a serial killer?” I blurt out awkwardly. His eyes meet mine and I gasp. They’re a deep shade of blue. But that isn’t what has me gasping. His eyes are penetrating. I can feel them pushing their way inside of me, a sense of knowing and familiarity.

I feel like I have seen his eyes before.

I lose focus on everything around me. The only thing I can see is him. I catch an emotion flicker in his gaze, almost as if he feels this too.

It’s hard to explain. I can’t look away; I don’t want to look away. Our eyes stay locked in a silent battle, neither of us wanting to break the connection.

The amusement has vanished, and all I can feel is the intensity in his gaze. It surrounds me.

My phone starts to vibrate again. Breaking the trance, I pull it out of my pocket this time glancing down to see two unread messages.

I swipe in my passcode. The last message I received shows at the top.

Dad: Yasmin, I’m sorry can you take Millie to school please? I’m still at work.

I start to shake; I can’t stop it. It’s an automatic response.

I asked him to do one thing. I wanted him to be there for her today.

I’m usually good at controlling my emotions especially when I’m around other people, but I’m tired and a little rattled by what the hell just happened when I looked into the stranger’s eyes.

I feel like I could spend hours getting lost in them.

Distracted by my phone and my mini freak out, I don’t notice him approach at first. But then I can smell him. His smell instantly calms me, the scent of leather and citrus. It’s sweet and manly all at the same time. I’ve always had a thing with smells. I have a super sensitive nose.

It takes all my strength not to lean into him to get a better sniff. What the hell is happening to me??? He gently touches my shoulder. I shudder, The feeling is electric.

“Are you okay?” He sounds concerned. I look into his eyes and I don’t even try to hide the hurt and anger. It takes all my strength to not get lost in him again.

I let my guard down and let him in.

I don’t ever let anyone in.

I definitely don’t let strangers in.

There’s something about him. It feels like I know him. He’s tall, muscular, and strong. I don’t miss that there is also something in his gaze. It’s like I can tell he doesn’t let people in either. I shake my head slightly.

“No, but I have to be.”

He jerks forward a little and I look down to see Daisy nudging the back of his knee. She’s pushing him closer.

Huh.

Looks like I’m not the only one that likes him. I don’t even know his name. But right there as I look back at him, I realise that I want to. I want to know everything about him.

Holy shit. What the hell is going on?

I’ve never wanted to get to know anyone like this before. I’ve had boyfriends in the past. Okay, well, one boyfriend before Dad decided he temporarily wanted to be a father and teamed up with my friend Smalls to scare him off. No one ever wants to date a policeman’s daughter.

“Wanna talk about it?” He says searching my face, like he knows at any minute I might run away.

Usually I would. I would have retreated and not looked back. I find myself unable to move. Here I am standing in a stranger’s driveway, looking like a hot mess express. He probably thinks I’m crazy.

The jury’s still out. I might be.

“It’s okay, I should probably go. You don’t need to hear about my problems. I don’t even know your name, and you never answered my question.”

He doesn’t even hesitate. “I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to know.”

I study him, trying to find a reason to walk away, but he seems to genuinely want to know. I start to respond but he cuts me off.

“I’m Chase, and to answer your question, the judge told me I’m not allowed to do that anymore.”

My mouth drops open. He tries to hide his smile, and then something inside me snaps. I start laughing.

It’s been weeks since I laughed, months since it has felt this natural. Chase just stares at me until I stop and catch my breath. I look back into his eyes.

I manage to stop my laughter, my breath hitching slightly when I notice just how close he is now.

“I’m Yasmin. But I need to go. My dad messaged to tell me that he wouldn’t be home to take my sister to her first day at school, so I need to go home and break the news to her and make sure she gets ready. It’s our first day today and I know she’ll be nervous.”

“Which school are you attending?”

I don’t know if it’s safe to give out more personal details, but I guess if he goes to school he’s bound to find out. “Canary Bay High. I also need to figure out where I am.” I say pulling up the map on my phone.

“You don’t know where you are?” Chase asks curiously.

“Nope, not a clue. We got here late Friday night and I have a terrible sense of direction. So I dropped a pin.” I zoom in and find my location on the map.

Turns out I’m only a few houses away from home.

“You dropped a pin?”

“Yep.” I’m don’t know if it’s a good or a bad thing that Chase lives within walking distance to my house. I bend over to pick up Daisy’s lead and inhale deeply as I do, making the most of what his smell does to me. Letting it blanket me in the eerie calm I’m not use to.

Quietly wishing I could bottle it up and take it with me today to help with the nerves of starting a new school.

I step back and for a moment, I don’t think he’s going to let me leave. It’s as if he wants to say something else. But he lets me walk away. As I turn the corner I hear him say, “I guess I’ll be seeing you, Yasmin.”

God, I hope so. I know I said I didn’t need to make friends. But when friends look like that and make me feel like he just did, it might make the next few months bearable. It might give me a chance to start to figure out who I am again.