Captured: Highgate Preparatory Academy, Book 1

“What the fuck is this shit?!” Ash shouts, walking over to a panel on the wall to turn it off.

“Hey!” Loki hollers back, pushing past us in a bid to reach the panel first. “They use this song in Guantánamo Bay as part of their PSYOPS. I thought it would help Robert pass the time.”

And that’s when I fully look into the stark white room and see Robert, lying on a metal surgical table. He has a thick leather band with a buckle around his waist, as well as cuffs at the wrists and ankles pinning him down.

My nose wrinkles as I see that he’s naked and lying in his own piss. There’s a blindfold over his eyes, and as Ash turns off the God awful song, he starts thrashing and shouting out.

“Where the fuck am I?! Let me go! You’ll be hearing from my father about this!” he spits out, saliva coating his chin.

I look at him, prone and vulnerable, and I feel numb. Like, this should freak me the fuck out, but it just doesn’t. He hurt me, tried to fucking rape me, and I’m glad he is now in the position he put me in. At someone else’s mercy. Only his situation is far worse, as he’s unable to escape the nightmare of his reality.

“I’m just gonna put my playlist on. I’ve been working on it for the past couple of days, and I must say it’s the best one I’ve come up with yet,” Loki tells the room, a wild look in his eyes as he does something with the panel on the wall, and Raging on a Sunday by Bohnes come over the speakers.

“You’ve got a fucking playlist?” I ask incredulously, arching a brow.

“Music is the soundtrack to your life, Pretty Girl,” he winks at me. I just roll my eyes back at him.

“Loki, is that fucking you?” Robert shouts, my eyes dart back over to where he is at the sound of his voice. “I’ll fucking kill you for this!” he threatens, which just makes Loki laugh maniacally.

Jax makes his way over to Robert and in a rough move, pulls off the blindfold.

“Happy Halloween!” Loki shouts, then howls like a wolf as he moves over to the table to stand on the other side of Robert. The sound raises the hair on the back of my neck, and goosebumps shiver across my skin.

Jax leans down, getting right into Robert’s face.

“What did I promise you if you ever looked at, or touched Lilly again?” Jax asks, his voice so cold it burns, and full of the darkness of deeds done in the deepest part of the night.

“Fuck off!” Robert snarls, his face contorted with rage.

“Wrong answer,” Jax replies menacingly before straightening up.

He steps up to where Robert’s wrists are shackled on either side of his head. I hear a crack, which makes me jump, as he casually breaks one of Robert’s fingers, making Robert scream in pain. Jax doesn’t even break a sweat. Loki laughs again, but it’s not his usual joyous laugh. It’s cruel and cuts to the bone.

I feel like I should be more horrified, appalled at what they are doing to another human. But I’m not.

I once saw an episode of QI where they debated a supposed George Orwell quote:

‘People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf’.

Although, it was surmised that Orwell didn’t actually say this, the quote comes to mind now as I watch these guys, my Black Knights, seek vengeance on my behalf. And I don’t feel horror, or revulsion or whatever it is I’m meant to be feeling. Instead, I’m full of gratitude that these warriors will do what is necessary to keep me safe.

“You can’t do this to me! My father will fucking murder you all and leave your corpses to rot!” Robert screams out, snot and spit flying as he fruitlessly tries to escape.

“Ah, that’s not quite accurate,” Kai interjects, voice devoid of all emotion. Kai steps up next to Jax so that Robert can see him, his iPad in his hand. “It seems that your father, Governor Michaels, was arrested tonight for having a laptop full of child pornography, alongside several accusations of sex with minors. So, I’m afraid he won’t be of much help.”

He turns the screen so that Robert can see it. It shows a live news program with video footage of what I assume is Robert’s father. He’s being led away in handcuffs, from what looks like a swanky Halloween party, dressed in a tux with devil horns. Gotta love irony.

“What the fuck did you do?!” Robert squeaks as Loki laughs once again.

“Your father did it to himself. I guess the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree,” Ash drawls in a bored tone, going over to stand near the table.

I’m still standing not far into the room, my eyes locked on the scene unfolding before me.

Come on, Lilly, you can do this.

I take one step towards the centre of the room, then another and another, until I finally approach the table. Ash hears me step up towards him, so he moves to one side, leaving a space for me in between him and Jax.

I clasp my hands into fists at my sides, to stop them shaking as nerves start to creep back into me, breaking through the numbness. Robert’s head turns to the side, his brown eyes landing on mine. I see them widen a second before they fill with scornful loathing.

“What the fuck is this whore doing here?” he snarls, and I hear Jax growl before another snap fills the room, which makes me flinch as Robert screams again.

“You don’t look at her,” Jax barks, and I look up to see that I’ve lost him to the violence that’s running through his veins, filling his blood with the need to hurt. He should look ridiculous in his He-Man outfit, but he doesn’t. He looks like an avenging God, full of wrath and with the kiss of death on his lips.

The song fades to be replaced by Oh Lord by In This Moment. I shiver at the words, creating a sense of unease inside me.

“Oh, you’re pissed because she’s a fucking teasing whore?” Robert asks, voice filled with pain, but also the arrogance of someone who has never had to face the consequences of his actions before. “She was fucking begging for it, saying how your cocks were too small to keep her satisfied,” he taunts, goading the guys, which is pretty fucking stupid.

Another crack fills the room followed immediately by Robert’s hoarse scream, as Jax snaps a third finger.

“No, you tried to rape her, you piece of shit,” Loki snarls at him, pulling his fist back and punching Robert in the face, making his head snap to the side, blood dripping from his now split lip. Loki’s panting, his chest rising and falling with angry breaths. I ache to go to him but I’m rooted to the spot.

“And from these buried reports, it looks like you’ve been getting your rocks off by raping women for quite some time,” Kai adds. I look at him in shock, catching his gaze, and the hardness in his honey amber eyes softens slightly.

This cuntface is a real piece of work.

“Where the fuck did you get those?” Robert asks, voice raspy and pained, his head turning to look at Kai.

Kai just smiles back at him. Robert is actually starting to look a little unsure, like he’s suddenly realised that he’s not coming out of this basement with only a few broken fingers.

“So you see, Robert, we know all of your dirty little secrets. And those of that pedophile daddy of yours. Now that he’s been taken care of, the question remains, what to do with you?” Ash states, his head tilted to one side, like a cat contemplating its prey, and trying to decide on the best way to play with it before devouring it. “I believe Jax already told you what your punishment will be?”

“I–I–I can get you anything you need. I h–have funds of my own,” Robert stutters out, and the memory of when Jax helped me in the school hallway floats to my mind.

“You ever touch her, fucking look at her again, I will tear your fucking balls off with my bare fucking hands.”

My wide eyes snap to Jax, who has an awful smile on his face as he gazes at Robert strapped to the table. It’s the smile of vengeance, of violence and bloodshed, and I briefly wonder why it doesn’t terrify me. I look to Loki, who has a similar sinister smile stretching his beautiful lips, which sits at odds with his angelic features. My eyes find Kai next, whose face is set in grim determination. However, there is a fire in his eyes, something that tells me he is enjoying this. Finally, my head turns to look to my left and tilts up to meet Ash’s gaze. His is the most frightening, as there’s nothing there. It’s like his humanity has fled, and all that’s left is an empty shell. His eyes meet mine, and a flicker of something enters them, before disappearing again.

“We don’t need your money, Robert,” Ash turns back to the guy pinned down and helpless, sounding bored. “You have nothing that we want or need.”

Ash looks up and nods at Loki, who goes and collects an instrument tray, wheeling it over next to Jax.

Robert’s head turns at the noise, and his eyes go wide, the whites showing as he catalogs the instruments on the tray. Black latex gloves, a scalpel, some kind of metal clamp looking thing, and a tube of superglue.

The song finishes and The Law by Reach begins to play. I swallow hard, looking back up at Ash as he clears his throat.

“Robert Michaels, you have been found guilty of being a rapist and all-around cunt. You are hereby sentenced to castration without anesthesia. May God have mercy upon your fucking soul, because we sure as hell won’t.” His voice is devoid of any feeling or emotion. He’s not even angry and I feel myself breathing shallowly, my heart pounding, my hands cold and shaking slightly.

Instinctively, I reach out and grasp Ash’s warm hand, interlocking our fingers. His nostrils flare, then he turns his head to look down at me. I have to suppress a gasp when his grey eyes meet mine. There’s a look of intense sorrow in them as he gazes down, the likes of which I’ve never seen on his face before.

I don’t think it’s sorrow at what is happening before us, but more that I am having to witness it and see their true nature. Like he would save me from this if he could. I can’t smile to reassure him that I’m okay, because honestly, I’m not sure if I am. I will never be the same after this night, more than the blood of my mother’s death will be on my hands, and they will never be clean again.

Jax moving breaks my stare off with Ash. Jax comes around the head of the table, walking down to stand next to Robert’s crotch. Robert is thrashing and crying, angry hopeless tears trailing down his face.

“I’d be still if I were you,” Loki leans down to whisper threateningly in Robert’s ear. “You wouldn’t want Jax to cut off your dick by mistake,” he chuckles darkly.

I feel a little sick and lightheaded, my breaths coming faster, and although I’m trying to control them, I can feel panic start to claw at the edges of my vision as Jax snaps the gloves onto his hands.

Suddenly, hands grasp my upper arms, and I’m turned to the side.

“Look at me, Princess,” Ash commands, and I obey immediately, lifting my head up and looking into his grey eyes in desperation. “That’s it, good girl,” he praises, his tone soothing, and completely at odds with how he was moments ago.

The wounded scream of an animal in pain rends the air, and my head goes to turn, but is stopped by a gentle hand on either side of it.

“Eyes on me, Princess. Don’t look anywhere else,” his voice coaxes, and I keep my eyes locked with his. They are full of anguish, yet also some emotion that I can’t, or don’t, dare to name. “Now breathe with me, darling, that’s it,” he encourages as I follow his deep inhales and exhales.

Tears start to fall from my eyes as the screaming turns to whimpers, so full of agony my soul weeps. The sounds stop, and all I can hear is that the song has changed to Monsters, by Tommee Profitt and Xeah, the beat matching my heartbeat.

“Loki, adrenaline shot,” Ash calls out, eyes never leaving mine. Seconds later, the whimpering starts again.

“Ash…” I whisper, not knowing what to say, just knowing that my heart hurts, my soul lamenting.

Not for Robert, he deserves to face the consequences of his abhorrent behaviour. My heart hurts for these men, these boys who have had to do this, and probably a thousand other horrible and depraved things in their lives so far.

“Shhh…it’ll be over soon, darling, I promise,” he says in that calming voice of his, surprising me as he wraps me up in his strong arms, enveloping me in his spicy ginger scent. I breathe him in, absorbing his strength and wrapping my own arms around his waist, burying my head into his chest.

What feels like hours later, Jax speaks.

“All done,” he says in a rumble. I lift my head from Ash’s chest, noticing the mess my makeup has made of his black shirt, leaving smudges of white and other colours on the cloth.

Keeping my arms tight around him, I look up and catch Jax’s eyes. His hard gaze softens as he meets my eyes. “You alright, Baby Girl?” he asks gently, and I nod.

“Is she alright?!” Robert screeches, his voice broken and raspy from screaming. “The fuck does that whore have to be worried about?” he spits as I hear several growls, including the rumbling growl of Ash that I feel vibrating against my chest.

My gaze turns to look at Robert. Blood still trickles from his lip, he’s slick with sweat and shaking. His brown eyes are crazed, pupils blown. I realise that for the first time, the blood doesn’t send me spiraling into a flashback of the day my mother died. That I’m actually glad to see it dripping down from him, and a slow smile spreads across my face. Robert sees this, and his eyes flash with pure undiluted rage.

“I should’ve fucked you until your cunt was bleeding, and choked you out, watching the life fade from your eyes, my dick still inside you,” he snarls at me, eyes full of loathing like this is all my fault.

All hell breaks loose before I can even register what’s happening. The guys are cursing him out, Loki grabbing the bloody scalpel and lunging for Robert’s neck, Jax pulls out a dagger from somewhere, and Kai’s eyes flash dangerously. Ash is deathly still underneath my arms, like he’s turned into a marble statue.

I know that Robert’s words have tipped them over the edge, and if I don’t do something, they will kill him here and now.

“Stop!” I cry out in a sob. Surprisingly, they all do as I ask and freeze. “If you kill him, his death will be on me. On my conscience. Please, I can’t have another death on my hands,” I beg them, looking into each of their eyes as I speak, pleading with them.

I look up to Ash last, who is still wrapped in my arms as I am in his. “Please, Ash,” I ask, imploring him with my eyes to stop this.

His own have darkened to a slate grey, filled with hatred. Is it just for Robert, or for himself too? They bore into me, digging down into my very soul.

“Jax.” his deep voice sounds out. I hear Jax dropping his knife with a clatter, and then the sound of fists hitting flesh, and grunts of pain as Ash leads me away.

None of the others follow as we head up the stairs, and I don’t dare look back. I can’t bear to see them mete out further punishment. Perhaps that makes me a coward. Perhaps it’s just self-preservation. Or that I just don’t care what they do to that evil man.

These guys, my guys, might be monsters, Black Knights with the souls of demons.

But they’re mine, and I belong to them completely.