Chapter Second Thoughts
By the time I got away from Warren I was shaken and I really wanted Jakob to tell me that everything was okay.
"I'm... ready to leave now," I announced as he came over to me.
"Are you okay? You look pale," he remarked and I gently pulled my collar back to reveal the bite mark.
"He refuses to drink out of the blood bags," I sighed and rested my cheek against Jakob's chest. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head.
"I think you've had enough for one day. How about we pick something up for lunch and I take you back home?" He hummed and brushes his fingers through my curls.
"No I'm okay. I'm hungry but I still need to go to work," I mumbled into his chest as he took my hand and led me towards the door.
I was so out of it after Warren that Jakob buckled me in himself. The car ride was silent for the most part but all I could do was think more and more and more.
"Jakob?" I asked softly after a while.
"Yes, love?" He replied and placed a hand on my knee.
I laid my palm atop his, "I think I want to sleep at your house tonight."
"Well of course, little one, you know you're always welcome," he remarked and ran his thumb over my knee.
I flushed and looked down at my lap, "no, I mean I want to sleep over."
He paused, "I don't know what you mean."
My cheeks warmed even more, "Jakob I think I'm ready to sleep over."
"Oh- oh," he gasped softly, "Paige, you don't have to. If he said something-"
"No, he didn't," I shook my head, "I know what I want and I want you- all of you. And I want you to have all of me."
Now his cheeks were turning pink, "of course, sweetheart. But I want you to know that if you change your mind then you can tell me. I don't want to be like him. I won't make you do anything you feel uncomfortable doing."
I slipped my hand under his and intertwined our fingers.
"I know," I whispered and kissed the back of his hand, "I know and I love you for it."
"I love you too, little one."
I spent the rest of the day thinking about Jakob and about what we were going to do that night. In all honesty it made me extremely hot and bothered. All I could think of was how he would feel inside me and how he would hold my hands down and tell me how good I was.
I shivered and tried to push away the thoughts. I had to focus on working instead of being horny. Then again, it was hard not to be distracted when I was so fucking sexually deprived.
It seemed like six o'clock couldn't come fast enough but when it was approaching I only grew more and more nervous. I'd only ever been with Warren and I knew he liked fucking me but I really couldn't gauge if I was actually good or not. I just hoped that I wouldn't embarrass myself too much in front of Jakob.
When finally my shift was over I was sure that everyone could hear how loudly my heart was beating. Jakob was waiting outside for me. I swallowed hard before hopping inside and shutting the door behind me.
"Good evening," he smiled and leaned over to kiss me, "are you hungry?"
"No, I ate on my break," I waved my hand and sat up straight in my seat.
"Uh-huh, so straight home?" He grinned and pulled out. I merely nodded and blushed. After a while he spoke up again, "I know you're nervous, Paige. I won't hold it against you if you want to back out now."
I blushed and folded my hands in my lap, "no- I want to, I really do. But I just... I've never been with anyone but Warren and I'm scared I'll mess it up."
He leaned over hand placed his hand on my knee, "you're perfect, darling, it'll be fine."
"I hope so," I squeaked and tucked my hair behind my ear as he drove on. Ten minutes later we were parking in front of his house. My hands were shaking as I got out and came over to his side as he took my hand.
"I love you, Paige," he hummed and kissed my ear.
"I love you too, Jakob," I breathed as he pulled out his key and unlocked the door. My heart leapt as he nudged me inside and shut the door behind us.
"Don't forget to tell me if I take it too fast," he murmured before pressing his lips against mine. I gasped and leaned against him as I fisted my fingers in his shirt. He toed his shoes off and brought his hands to my hips so he could press us closer. I kicked off my own shoes and yelped when he hooked his hands under my knees and pulled them to his hips.
I smiled against his lips as I sifted my fingers through his hair and he carried me up the stairs to his bedroom. I sucked in a sharp breath when he pressed me down on the mattress and kissed me fiercely. I whined and clung to him desperately as his hands wandered over my hips and chest. I spread my fingers across his chest as I pushed his suit jacket off and let it drop to the floor.
His hips wedged between my legs and I could already feel him poking me- it caused a surge of lust to course through my body. Jakob pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it away as I fumbled with the buttons on his own. We had been moving so fast that now that we were slowing down I was growing embarrassed.
"Jakob," I called breathlessly and dragged his shirt off his body.
"Already moaning my name?" He teased and held my hips in his hands.
I blushed and swept my hand over his chest.
"I want you," I murmured and pressed my hips against his, "I need you."
His Adams Apple bobbed as he swallowed and slowly unbuckled his belt. Simply watching that made me so much harder. He slowly slid his belt out of the loops and let it drop to the floor. I unbuttoned my jeans and wiggled my hips as I tried to shimmy out of them. Jakob smiled and helped me pull them off as I scooted to the middle of the bed.
"Come and get me," I mumbled and held my arms out to him. He nodded and removed his slacks before joining me under the covers. Again we kissed passionately until I was shaking with lust and want. My ankles were hooked at the small of his back and there was no hiding from him now.
Jakob pulled away and caressed my cheek, "you still want this?"
I arched my back and dragged him down to me, "fuck me, Jakob. Be rough with me."
He groaned and kissed down my neck as he ground his hips against me. I moaned and whimpered and threw my hands over my head.
"You're such a good boy, baby," he cooed and placed his hand on my abdomen. I gasped softly but Warren came to mind. I want to tell you what a good boy you are.
I shoved him to the back of my head and focused one Jakob. It was him who I wanted to fuck me. It was him who I wanted to call me a good boy.
"Please, Sir," I panted and squirmed beneath him, "I need it so bad."
"Beg, Paige. You can do better than that," he hummed in my ear and held my wrists down above my head. Again the restriction gave me a flash of Warren. I want to make you beg.
"Please, Jakob, I want you to fuck me," I cried, "I'm a good boy. I want you inside me- I want you to use me and own me and fuck me."
He groaned and held my wrists up with one hand while the other came to rest at the hollow of my throat. A phantom sensation of rough, strong hands flashed in my mind but I tried to discard it and focus on the gentle grip of Jakob.
"You look so pretty like this, darling," he breathed, "I'll have you squirming on my cock soon."
A louder moan escaped me at the dirty talk. I knew by now Warren would be calling me a slut and leaving bruises and bite marks all over my body. I wanted Jakob to be rough like that.
"More-" I gasped as he kissed down my chest.
"Of course, little one," he grinned and splayed his tongue over my pink nipple. I squirmed and fisted his hair in my hands. In the back of my head something was screaming for me to slow down, to stop before it was too late but the louder part wanted more- wanted to get fucked into the mattress.
Jakob continued down and I was completely into it until I felt him begin to tug my boxers down my thighs.
No one is allowed to touch you but me. The only hands that should be on you are mine, my head screamed. Warren's face was fresh in my mind and it was enough to bring a short cry from me.
Jakob stopped immediately.
"Paige?" He asked and cupped my cheek my eyes brimmed with tears and my lower lip wobbled.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," I sobbed as he helped me sit up, "I can't do it. I'm so sorry."
He pulled me against him and kissed the top of my head sweetly, "no, no, no, little one. It's okay- it's okay if you're not ready yet."
I sobbed into his chest and trembled uncontrollably, "I'm sorry I led you on," I cried, "I r-really wanted to. I swear I do. I'm sorry."
"No, don't talk like that, Paige. You aren't obligated to give me sex. I said you could back out whenever you wanted and I meant it," Jakob whispered and rocked me back and forth as he squeezed me tightly.
I stayed quiet as he whispered sweet nothings in my ear until I calmed down. After a while I had stopped hiccuping and I simply laid against him.
"Do you want to try again?" I asked tentatively even though I knew I didn't want to.
"No, love. I think we should wait a little bit longer," he answered and gently laid me back down, "it's obvious that you aren't ready and we're going to wait until you are."
"Thank you, Jakob," I sniffed as he kissed my cheek and pulled the covers over us. His chest pressed against my back as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me against him.
"I love you, Paige," he murmured in my ear as I snuggled close to him.
"I love you too, Jakob."
...did I?