CAN I??

NIKHIL POV:

"You know it's not her fault right?!" I shouted at me, seeing myself in mirror.

"You should have apologized for your behaviour and talked like an adult but instead you started behaving like a maniac"

"It's all Yuktha who did it! But you believed her but not aaru.. why?"

"Think about her side too, how much she suffered being alone. How she survived without anyone."

"Literally noone was there for her. Not even you" I shouted loudly

Even when I realized now, it's too late. She is engaged to someone else

But why do I feel so uneasy seeing her with him and Ansh, he is literally hating me.

How can he not when you left his mom like a orphan my inner self scolded me.

Suddenly breathing became difficult, and I'm burdened with my acts & guilt. I wish I could go back and change our relation.

When I'm drowned in my guilty, Yuktha came and sat beside me eating something.

From the day I came back from Aaru home, I'm not same like before I'm thinking about her 24*7.

If you're thinking what happened for my sudden change, but it's not sudden. I went to her office to talk to her but by seeing ansh with her, I lost my senses.

I thought how can she not I tell me about my son!? But I failed to think about her side too.

Even when mamaya said that aaru is his daughter, I only thought ansh. How I became so selfish??

"What happened, why are you crying!?" Yuktha asked me while eating her mango pudding.

Am I crying!? I touched my face to get proof, but alas I'm crying.

Why now nikhil, everything is over now. No need to cry, you successfully destroyed your sweet life. My inner self mocked at me.

You know what, we can lie to anyone but no to self right!?

"No I'm not.. how is your health" I asked her

"Oh..you remembered I thought that you forget about me" she replied sarcastically.

I fake smiled and sat beside " it's just some random tension, tell me how is your health and our baby.

I can't do another mistake, I will take care of Yuktha and baby. May be I can ask Yuktha why she is did that but her health condition is stopping me.

"We are good and can you take me to shopping." She asked me

"Sure but suddenly why my ammu is interested in shopping" I asked playfully raising my eyebrow.

She glared at me angrily and said "you forget"

Shoot me...there is only three days for Tara engagement.

"Of course not, just kidding you" I somehow covered and made her smile.

I can do anything for her smile, call me fool but my love for her made me blind and currently I'm unable to see her agenda behind aaru, mine separation. Keeping aside all my thoughts and feelings, I told her to get ready and I went to meet my mamaya.

I knocked on his door and he opened it."what happened Nikhil?!"

"Nothing mamaya, just came to talk about something"

"What is it?!"

"Well, is aaru agreed for Tara marriage arrangements?!"

"Yes and why you're asking for her!" He questioned

"I don't allow you to do anything with aaru and ansh. We separately went to her home just to make her accept to be with us." He shouted at me

"I already told you to keep quite and not to talk bull s**t. Again you screwed everything." He shouted loudly this time.

If you are wondering why we went to her house. Let me tell you then, we had to go to her house then I have to tell her that I choose you. Then she will agree and come with us.

Once she gets to know that we care for her then we have to tell her truth that she will be here as mamaya daughter not as my wife.

But everything backfired, with that stupid would be of aaru. I didn't expect her to talk like that but when I started thinking from her side, I realised how stupids I'm to leave her.

"Mamaya, what she said is right! We can't make her live in lie. Her life is getting better now, it's best we leave her life for good. I just asked you because I have to ask her apologies." I said and went away immediately.

I decided not to disturb her and I will apologize her for what I said and I did. May be apologizing makes me better.

what makes me uneasy is my feelings for her. It's so wrong to have feelings that too when I have a wife and child, but when I saw her with him that made me realise I have feelings but I can't express or show her.

How funny right!? With a foolish act of mine I lost her and with other person I came to know about my feelings.

I huffed out the air and decided to out for a drive and drink.

It's almost 3 hrs since I came out and I'm driving towards her home, don't ask me why cause I don't know.

I'm waiting on my bike outside her house for an hour but I don't have courage to go her.

Can I? Go to her or meet her later..

It's already too late I thought

but you're not here on bad intention right!? My inner self told me for first time it supported me.

When I'm about to go, I saw a man went in and I decided to wait for sometime but when I listened some sounds, I thought to check and when I went in my eyes automatically widened. Immediately I shouted at him and kicked him hard. When I'm about to beat him, he pushed me and ran out.

"Aaru" I gently tapped her cheeks and tried waking her up but no use.

Then I sprinkled water on her face, the she gained conscious.

Thank God, she just fainted. When she gained conscious she started crying by covering her face with palms.

"Aaru..aaru" I called her but she isn't listening to me at all.

"He didn't do anything, I came here..plz stop crying" I tried everything to calm her but she is crying badly.

So I carried her to room, what I liked is she didn't protest.

I placed her beside ansh and covered her with blanket.

This time I came but what will happen when no one was around her!?

God how she is living alone in unknown place for 3 years..

She slept immediately may be because of crying.

I sat beside her in a chair and started apologizing her, I know she is asleep but for my satisfaction.

I touched her feet(as a gesture of apologizing) for what she did for me, my family and I slept without my knowledge.000