Campion's Choice

Back in bed, at the Evans’, house Jack rubbed his eyes and tried to remember what happened. The inside of his head felt like it was stuffed with sawdust. He dragged a hand through his long blonde hair and the ring snagged, pulling at the roots.

‘Ouch!’

Gently he untangled the piece of jewellery. The sight of the thin band of metal brought back a rush of memories: Night Wood, the strange spaceboat, the scorpion on the tin, sabre toothed tigers, something about having a wolf’s paw for dinner?

‘Ah, I see you’re awake. You went out cold. Liam brought you back here in a wheelbarrow,’ Ursula laughed. In one hand she carried a large mug of steaming hot chocolate and, in the other, a suit of black clothes. She handed over the sweet drink and Jack drank greedily.

’I couldn’t wake you. You looked so peaceful. I feared you’d miss the dinner. But now, if you jump in the shower and pull on your togs, we should make the bash with time to spare.’

Ursula prattled away, laying out the suit of clothes at the foot of the bed.

‘Chop, chop,’ she said, clapping her hands and sweeping the half finished mug out of Jack’s nicely warmed hands.

Five minutes later, washed and scrubbed, he stood in front of a full-length mirror looking at his reflection. ‘Togs’ consisted of a black dinner suit, white shirt, black shoes, bow tie and a billowing college gown.

‘Great. You’ll be a perfect match. We have to make sure that the two of you are wearing the same clothes when you swap places,’ Ursula explained. She positively bounced around the room. Before he knew what was happening she chivvied him down the stairs, along the garden path, and straight into a waiting limousine.

‘I’ll see you later, at the college. Monty will be waiting for you at the other end. Give him my love,’ she said.

Jack could swear the woman blushed. A smile crept over her face revealing two deep little dimples. She looked like an excited schoolgirl.

Monty, or rather, Montgomery Donald Makepeace Thurston Stanhope, was the Master of Cancellarius College Cambridge. He was waiting, on the Trumpington Street pavement, outside the Porter’s lodge.

He was a tiny, grey haired man, with piercing blue eyes and a head that seemed to be two sizes too small for his body. He wore a pair of white gloves and, most surprisingly, a baggy multi-coloured kilt.

‘Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack,’ the Master beamed and added, ‘my wife told me all about you. It’s an honour my boy, an honour.’

‘Your wife?’

‘Ursula.’

‘Miss Stanhope?’

‘Mrs,’ Monty corrected. He strode off into the college grounds, his gown flapping out sideways like bat’s wings.

‘Come along, come along. We don’t want you bumping into yourself and creating all kinds of confusion. We’ll go in through the kitchens to make sure that doesn’t happen. This way, this way.’

Reaching a tiny doorway they ducked and descended rapidly into the bowels of the building.

Jack had never seen anything like the college kitchens. It was a food factory. Tables and benches were covered in machines and ladles and trays and piles of exotic foods. Whisks whirred, beaters drummed, pans sizzled and pots bubbled. All around he heard the swish, swish, swish of slicing knives. And the smell. It was enough to make you faint. The air seemed as thick as a stew filled with meats and spices, herbs and fruits. Somewhere the tang of tangerines mixed perfectly with the glorious whiff of buttery hot caramel.

‘This way, this way,’ Monty urged as they dodged through another tiny door and began to wind their way upwards along a narrow dark staircase.

‘In here,’ Monty said and tapped on a piece of brickwork. The blank wall shuddered and cracked open to reveal a hidden door. They had arrived at the Master’s Study. Once inside the panel closed, the secret entrance blending in perfectly with the wall’s intricately carved panelling.

‘Wow,’ Jack said and swivelled to gaze at the room. Every inch of it, bookcases, panels, doorways and window frames, was covered with intricate carvings.

‘Sherry?’ the Master asked, lifting a cut glass decanter that sparkled in the late evening’s sun.

‘Er … I’m only thirteen,’ Jack explained.

‘Good for you. Wonderful age to be. So, would you prefer a whisky?’

Jack had to stop himself from laughing. The only thing to do was politely shake his head and decline.

‘Well, the others should be here in a couple of minutes and then we can do the whole body swapping thing. Would you like a tour of my hideaway whilst we wait? I can show you my little collection.’

Jack looked around the room. Maybe Monty was talking about his collection of books?

‘That would be nice,’ he muttered, trying to sound enthusiastic.

‘Righto.’

The Master skipped to a bookcase, tapped the spine of a large encyclopaedia and jumped back. This time a large section of shelving swung out into the room to reveal another secret doorway. Monty waved Jack through.

‘My Treasury. It’s just a few small trifles,’ he explained proudly.

Trifles? What was Monty going to show him? His collection of after dinner desserts?

The old man clapped his hands and lights came on to bathe the Treasury in a soft yellow glow.

‘Now, where should I start? Well, with the claw obviously. You’ll see it again later.’

Monty tugged Jack over to a table. An enormous wolf’s paw rested upon two golden supports. Jack took one look at the severed limb and shivered. Having now met a wolf, he knew from the size of this leg, that the dead animal it belonged to would have been a monster.

’The paw was given to Sir George Paget, the second Master of Cancellarius, in 1360. Sir George was out on a hunt, in the woods near Madingley, with the Black Prince when the wolf attacked. The beast had three spears in its back and still leapt at the Prince but, legend has it, Sir George cut off the animal’s head in mid air. The Black Prince kept the head, as a lucky charm, but he gave the paw, as a mark of great honour, to the college. The Prince said that, when he was king, he would hand over the head. But he never got to be King. He got killed. The painting, ‘The Wolf Hunt’, is over near the Library. You may have heard about it? It’s very controversial. Some say Giotto painted it, others claim it has to be a fake.’

‘I saw it,’ Jack began. He was about to tell Monty about his ‘vision’, how he had some kind of a ‘time-shift’ moment, how he’d somehow seen that Medieval hunt returning to Cambridge. But the old man danced along to a nearby display case and began to chunter on before Jack could squeeze out a word.

‘Nearly all the things we have in here were given to the college as gifts. For instance, these are Abraham Lincoln’s reading glasses. Here is Genghis Khan’s helmet. That golden crown of laurel leaves, over there, that was from Julius Caesar. That’s Alexander the Great’s listening horn hanging on the wall. He was as deaf as a post, poor boy. He had this silver trumpet made, but he was too proud to use it and he gave it away. Then there’s Beethoven’s case of wine. He said he was giving up drinking after he presented this to one of our Masters, Josiah Bates, but he never did! Total sot!’

Everywhere Jack looked he was surrounded by strange objects.

‘What’s that?’ Jack asked. He pointed to an ancient, brown, half eaten apple.

‘Oh, that was from Isaac Newton. That was his idea of a joke. Very, very strange chap.’

’The Isaac Newton?’

‘My boy, there’s only one Isaac Newton. Do you know what? He was once caught, in here, in the Treasury, trying to steal a box. It’s on the desk just there. That one. The little, yellow topped, wooden thing. It’s called the Deathstalker Box. Goodness knows why it’s called that ….’

Jack stopped listening and stared at the box. A shiver ran down his spine. The hairs on his arm stood up.

Deathstalker.

Isaac Newton.

It couldn’t be a coincidence. He stepped forward to stare at the object. It was about the size of a shoebox and had a complicated yellow squiggle along the side. Upon closer inspection the squiggle turned out to be a golden scorpion. Inside Jack’s head cogs began to grind. The curly haired guy in the car with Criel, the tin in the underground cavern at Night Wood and now this box? What was the connection?

Before he could ask any one of a hundred questions, Monty skipped away across the room and held up a funny little toy.

‘Now, this old thing belonged to Leonardo Da Vinci. He was fascinated by wind up toys. He once gave a huge wind-up lion to Louis XII. This is Leo’s helicopter.’

Monty gently turned a tiny golden key. When he set the plaything down the machine buzzed, whirred and then hovered in mid-air for a second before crash landing back on the table.

‘Leo gave it to us because he thought the idea would never get off the ground. Ha ha ha. Spot the pun! He also invented a wind-up computer, but don’t tell anyone. Now, over here is one of my favourite things, although the story behind it is rather sad.’

Jack was bursting to ask about Newton’s box and the Deathstalker scorpion but he couldn’t think how to begin. To buy time he politely followed the old man over to a magnificent glass cabinet.

Inside a large case was a theatre the size of a doll’s house.

‘This belonged to William Shakespeare. He had it made, for his son’s eleventh birthday. Will said that he had all these plans for staying at home and playing with Hamnet.’

‘I though he was called Hamlet?’

’Hamnet. Shakespeare’s only son was called Hamnet. Anyway, Will was going to show his son how plays worked. Teach him all the tricks of the trade. But poor little Ham died a few months after his eleventh birthday and Will just couldn’t bear to look at the toy theatre again so he gave it to the college.’

‘Don’t some people say that Shakespeare wasn’t Shakespeare? They say he was really a Lord? Don’t some people say …’

‘Some people talk rubbish. Some people say some really stupid things. Shakespeare was Shakespeare. Will was a good friend of my great grandfather. In fact, that’s who he gave the theatre to.’

The Master of the College turned his back on Jack and, from the way he hunched over, Jack got the distinct impression he had made him grumpy. Now would not be a good time to ask about the box.

‘I recognise that!’ Jack said. They stood in front of a huge tapestry.

‘Hmmmphh,’ Monty snorted. He was clearly still out of sorts.

‘That’s a copy of the Bayeux Tapestry,’ Jack said, trying to sound extremely interested.

’Wrong. It is not a copy. It is the famous missing piece of the Bayeux Tapestry! We have it here for safe keeping.’

‘Why?’

‘Because, if you look closely enough, someone has sewn in the picture of a little spacecraft! We thought that the world wasn’t quite ready to accept the presence of aliens, on Earth, in 1066!’

Monty was now beginning to sound very, very tetchy.

‘I suppose you want to see the arrow that killed Harold, do you? The one that stuck in his eye? We have it here somewhere. Just the kind of gruesome thing young boys, like you, would be interested in,’ Monty groused as he ferreted around in a drawer.

‘What’s this?’

Jack used his best, most respectful voice and pointed at a rather dull, leather bag. Monty took his time before turning around and, when he finally did, his face looked animated and happy. He was not a man who stayed unhappy for long.

‘Well, that’s a strange one. You see, it’s Archimedes’ bag. And it’s the only thing in the room that wasn’t given to the college. It’s something we’ve always had. It’s supposed to be the most precious thing we possess but, quite frankly, nobody has the faintest idea why.’

’Archimedes is the one who sat in his bath and said ‘Eureka’,’ Jack said, trying to show that he was paying attention.

‘Ha, ha, ha, ha,’ Monty cackled and wrapped himself in his college gown as if Jack had said the funniest thing ever.

‘What? Did I get it wrong?’ Jack asked.

’Old Archy! He never took a bath in his life! He was famous for being a dirty old beggar! I can’t remember what Ancient Greek is for ‘stinker’ but that’s what people called him.’

‘Did he know your great, great grandfather?’

Monty clapped his hands and roared with laughter. He came over and slapped Jack across the shoulders.

‘Oh, I must say, you have the most amazing sense of humour. I can see you’ll be a wonderful addition to the college. I wish we had more time. I’d like to take you to the market place and show you our underground store cupboard. We have already taken one or two rather magnificent things from there and moved them to Calbe Hall.’

‘Calbe Hall?’

‘Yes, dear boy ..’ Monty began but was interrupted.

They both heard the knocking. Monty began to flap around in his black gown. He shooed Jack back into the study before sealing the door to the Treasury.

‘Come in! Come In!’ Monty commanded.

The door opened. Jack had decided that, as soon as he saw Ursula, he would tell her everything about his vision and the box and the scorpion tattoo. Unfortunately, when she appeared wearing a new and very bright, green toga, and leading in Liam and Tia, all his plans vanished.

To begin with, he didn’t even realise it was Tia. She looked prettier, older and at least six inches taller. At first he thought she was one of the students at Cancellarius College. She shrieked when she saw him.

‘Jack!’

Tottering over on high heels she bent towards him and hugged his head.

Liam nonchalantly sidled into the room. He nodded once then gazed, out of a window, onto the gardens below. Ursula seemed to hesitate. Jack saw her blush again.

‘Monty. Lovely to see you,’ she said, pecking her husband on the cheek. Monty choked and leant backwards to avoid the little show of affection.

‘Ursula darling! Lovely, lovely, lovely!’ he cooed and patted his wife on her shoulder before turning back to seat himself at his desk. This greeting, clearly, did not please Ursula.

‘Where are the stand-ins?’ Monty asked. He seemed now to be very nervous. He fiddled with papers on his desk. He smoothed down his kilt. He refused to look up to meet his wife’s beady eye.

‘They will be here any second,’ Ursula said. Her voice was sharp and snappish.

Another knock came at the door. Monty called ‘enter’. A huge slab of carved wood swung open.

In walked a new Liam, a new Tia and a new Jack.

The three ‘stand-ins’, the three Nomas children, came silently into the room and stood next to Monty’s desk. Two of the doppelgangers, the stand-ins for Tia and Liam, changed shape. The third, the ‘fake’ Jack, stayed the same. Fake Jack was also the only one wearing a college gown.

‘What’s happening?’ Jack wondered aloud. Ursula explained.

‘Well, Tia and Liam are going to come back and live with us, in Hanston, but tonight they’re attending the dinner as guests and so they can sit with their families. They don’t need stand-ins.’

‘What about me?’ Jack asked.

Monty lifted up his head for the first time and looked at his wife. He was about to speak but she held up a hand and took charge.

’Tia and Liam aren’t returning home so they won’t need their memories back. However, you Jack, you will need to come up to speed. It might take you a while to get used to it.’

‘Get used to what?’

‘Having two sets of memories. You will remember everything that has happened to you whilst you were at Hanston but, when Luke’s thoughts are transferred, you will also remember everything that has happened to him whilst you’ve been away.’

Jack stared blankly around the room. He was very confused. He looked away from the others to get his thoughts in order. It didn’t work. He found himself gazing at a chunk of carving where a dragon, a chimera, a sphinx and a Minotaur were all fighting for their lives. He forced himself to concentrate.

‘Does it hurt? This memory thing?’ he asked stupidly.

‘It’s probably easier if we just get on with it,’ Ursula said and added, ‘Monty, you take Liam and Tia down and get them dressed up. Emma and James, you can wait in the library.’

‘Yes, dear,’ Monty said. He led Tia and Liam and their two ‘stand-ins’, Emma and James, out of his study. Ursula smiled at Jack.

‘Okay, lets get on with giving you your memories.’

Fake Jack crossed the room and took a little metal stick out his pocket.

‘Hold on. I remember that thing. Luke used it when you kidnapped me. And you knocked me out with it when I … when I got a bit angry with Anax,’ Jack said nervously.

‘It’s to protect Luke from your coin. You won’t feel a thing, ’ Ursula said reassuringly.

Luke raised the thin metal rod and Luke felt the familiar cold tap on his forehead.

‘What the …’

He did feel a thing. This time it felt like a bump. Like sitting in a parked car and feeling another car roll up against your bumper. A bump.

Jack blinked.

‘Is that it?’

‘Yes,’ Ursula answered.

‘Well that was easy …’ Jack began before staggering and saying, ‘Clamp’s been sacked!’

‘Yes. That’s right. Your old Head of Sixth Form has had to leave the school. He had a break down.’

‘I know! There was a day when he started charging down the corridor like a runaway bull and they had to call the police! I was there. We were in assembly, last week, and the Head told us Mister Clamp was unwell and then, afterwards, there was all this gossip and the Secretary’s daughter found out that Mister Clamp had gone bonkers! But …..’

‘Yes?’

‘But I wasn’t there! I was in Hanston with you last week!’ Jack wailed.

‘Welcome to having two memories. Don’t worry. It’ll be fine. It just takes a while to get everything straight. That’s why you’re sitting with me tonight.’

Ursula turned to Fake Jack.

‘Run along, Luke and find the Master.’

Fake Jack flicked his long blonde hair out of his eyes and turned to leave. At the doorway he gave a shy, encouraging thumbs up and then spoke quickly.

‘I just wanted to say, Jack, before I go, that I really enjoyed being you. I can see why you want to go back to your family. They’re great.’

The door closed. Jack had to ask a question.

‘Do I really look and sound like that? Do I look thin and pale and have a bit of a squeaky voice?’

‘Yes,’ Ursula nodded.

Jack sighed.

‘So, what now?’ he asked.

‘Well, we sneak up the Master’s Way, and let ourselves onto the Musicians Gallery. We’ll be hidden. We can sit behind a screen and enjoy the Wolf’s Paw Dinner. The food is usually incredible! The entertainments are spectacular! The wine will be excellent! And, hopefully, Monty will behave himself. We should hurry. I have things to tell you before the meal begins.’

Ursula rapped out a complicated code on the oak panelling with her knuckles and a new hidden passage appeared. How many ways were there in and out of this room? Jack peered into a cobweb-covered stairwell and took a deep breath. Here we go again, he thought as he blindly stepped into yet another dark and musty, secret little tunnel.