Camera Shy (Lessons in Love Book 1)

I should’ve broken that fucker’s jaw. I wanted to so bad. But what stopped me was the look on Avery’s face as Cass pulled her away. She wasn’t squeamish or scared. Instead, she was inquisitive. She was studying me, waiting to see what kind of man I was.

Even when she was out of sight and Morgan was on his feet again, trying to provoke me, all I could think about was Avery watching me succumb to past hurts. Hurts I’m healing from, because of her. I’m tired of fighting the past. I just want to focus on the future.

So I walked away.

I searched for her everywhere. I even had someone go into the women’s restroom and call out Avery’s name, but nothing. It finally dawned on me where Cass might take her—she’s high and horny and has a one-track mind. I thought I made it clear that Avery and I weren’t into that.

Or are we?

When I opened the door to the champagne room, all I saw was Cass, on top of my girl, her tongue down her throat, and her hand on Avery’s tit. Maybe I should be aroused, but at the moment, I’m just kind of pissed.

“What the fuck is going on?” I ask.

“What the fuck do you think is going on?” Cass snarks back at me. “Watch your tone, Finn, or you won’t be invited,” she says as she climbs off Avery and proceeds to tinker with the fog machine in the corner of the room. This is how Cass likes to fuck. In a hallucinogenic hippie’s dream. I hate that damn machine. It makes it impossible to see anything.

“Are you okay?” I ask Avery and she nods. Outside of looking startled by my entrance, she seems fine. I think.

“Is Morgan on a stretcher in the back of an ambulance?” Cass asks over her shoulder. I notice Avery’s eyes dart to my knuckles. They’re still red from one good lick on that piece of shit.

“Security showed him out. I didn’t hit him again.”

“That’s a shame,” Cass mutters.

I take a seat next to Avery and she scooches to her right to make room for me. I yank her right back into my chest territorially. Kissing the side of her head, I ask her, “What’re you doing in here? Are you seriously trying to hook up with Cass?”

Avery chuckles nervously. “She said it’s her birthday tradition, so I figured—why not?”

I grunt in irritation. “It’s not a tradition. Her libido just goes into hyperdrive on her birthday.”

“Are you mad at me?” Avery asks.

Immediately, I cradle her cheek, pulling her soft green eyes to mine. “Baby, no. Not at all. I just figured we’d talk about something like this first.”

“It was a spur-of-the-moment thing,” she mumbles. “You like this, though, right? Or do you not like this with me?”

I’m at a loss for words because this feels like a trap.

No, I don’t like this with you because you’re mine. And I don’t want to share you. I don’t want anyone else, man or woman, touching you, kissing you, looking at you. I want your pleasure to come from me, and me alone.

I want that part of Avery all to myself, but I promised her I wouldn’t keep her in the box. Not like Mason did. I’m supposed to be helping her learn to be brave and confident, and ask for what she wants.

“I only like it if you do. So do you want to do this?”

Our stares are locked as I tighten my arm around her, and it seems like we’re both hoping the other will call uncle. But for some reason, we don’t, so I don’t fight it when Avery says, “No harm in trying, right?”

“Okay.”

She rubs my cock through my jeans and I put my lips on hers and kiss her sweetly.

“Mmm,” she says, “much better.”

“What?” I ask against her lips.

“Nothing.” She pulls away to give me a small smile. “Your lips are starting to feel like home.”

“Mm,” I moan. I couldn’t have said it better myself. “Well, come home then, Queen.”

I hook my hand under her thigh and pull her astride my lap. Our hips lock together as she rests her weight on me. I love when she does that. It’s the ultimate trust. She used to awkwardly hover over me, embarrassed of her weight. It took almost a whole damn summer, but it seems like she’s finally trusting me when I tell her I love every smooth curve and bump on her body. She can get bigger, smaller, or stay exactly the same and I will be obsessed with every single version of this woman I’ve fallen for.

“Oh gag, you guys are so sweet. Stop it with the sugary talk before you accidentally make me catch feelings,” Cass says as she joins us on the couch.

“It’s just sex, Cass. I’m not—”

“Calm down, lover boy,” she teases. “I didn’t mean I’d catch feelings for you.” She winks at me. This is Cass’s default. She knows how important it is in these situations for my girlfriend not to feel jealous or competitive, so we have an unspoken agreement about keeping most of our attention on our guest. It works better that way. “Avery, may I take this off?” Cass taps the tie behind Avery’s back holding her bra in place.

“Um…”

And there. I see it. I wasn’t imagining it. She’s hesitating. There’s a flicker of panic in her eyes. “Baby, you don’t have to—”

“Yes,” Avery says, looking over her shoulder at Cass. “Go ahead.”

Without another word, Cass pulls the tie free and Avery’s heavy breasts drop right into my face. Good God. As it always goes when I’m anywhere near these flawless tits, I get instantly hard. Fine, if we’re doing this…let’s go. I engulf one nipple and pinch the other between my fingers. She squirms under the pressure but doesn’t recoil, so I pinch harder. She groans but leans into my grip.

“Such a good girl,” I coo. “I love how you can take that.”

She grinds against me eagerly, like it’s just us two, and we’re up to our usual antics, but the moment Cass’s hand is on her back, she’s a statue. Goddammit. If Avery doesn’t want to do this, why are we doing this?

“Finn, it’s not going to work like this. Can you pull the couch out?” Cass asks.

Yeah, good idea. Maybe Avery just needs to lie down. She’ll be more comfortable. “Hop up, baby. This couch can go completely flat.” She does as I ask, and I pull the sofa from the wall and flatten the cushions so we have a bed to lie on. At this point, my cock is angry and hard and as much as I want to pull it out, I need Avery to set the pace here.

“Where do you want to start, hon?” Cass asks patiently.

Avery covers her tits with her forearm and manages to shrug. “I don’t know. What do you guys usually do first?”

Cass winks at me and I roll my eyes. She’s being too playful. It’s not her relationship that’s on the line right now. It’s mine.

“Do you want Finn and me to take the lead? Will that be easier?” Cass asks.

Avery nods in relief. “Yes, good. I’ll just ease in.”

“Okay,” Cass says. “You got it.”

She flattens her hand against my chest and rises to her tippy toes to kiss me. Cass is even shorter than Avery, so I have to duck down far for her to reach my lips. Instead, I grab her by the waist and set her feet on top of the sofa so we’re at eye level. Much easier. Eventually, she’s tugging at my belt. She traces my length through my jeans with her hand before she unzips me and teases me through my briefs. She slips her tongue into my mouth, and I almost fall back into the familiar comfort of our old routine until I hear something like a wince from behind me.

“Shit. Oh no,” Cass says, looking over my shoulder. I release Cass and spin around to see Avery in tears with her bra retied around her neck. She’s hysterical, covering as much of her face as she can with both hands. She’s been watching us, crying, putting herself through the torture of seeing me with another woman.

“Fuck,” I mumble. “Avery—”

She holds up both her hands to stop me from advancing and I see her wet cheeks and smeared makeup. “I am…so…sorry,” she says, completely in disarray. She’s gasping for air, trying to control her frenzy. She pats her chest. “My fault…it’s my fault. I thought I could…I just can’t do this…I’m sorry.”

“Baby—” I reach for her, but she steps away. Dammit. She’s going to run. I know it.

“I’m so embarrassed,” she murmurs.

In tandem, I take a step closer and she takes one back, toward the door. She’s looking at me like she’s scared of me.

“Avery, please calm down. Come here. We can stop.”

She glances down to make sure her breasts are fully covered and glances at the door.

I hold out my hand. “Just come here, please.” I feel like I’m coaxing a stray dog out of the street. Like if I move too fast it’s going to go running straight into traffic.

She finally takes my hand and I breathe out in relief.

“Finn, we’re fine. I’m sorry. I’ll be okay.” Then she rips her hand away. “But I need some space. Don’t follow me.” She darts from the room, shutting the door behind her.

Falling backward, I slump onto the edge of the sofa. Cass sits down next to me but knows better than to touch me right now. First, I zip up my jeans and refasten my belt, then I growl in frustration into my hands.

“Fuck this,” I mumble. “I’m going after her.”

“Finn, she asked you not to,” Cass says. “Just give her the night, then go talk to her tomorrow.”

“How’s she supposed to get home? She’s running around half-naked, crying. Something could—”

“Finn. She’s not drunk and she’s a smart girl. She knows how to call for a ride. If you treat her like an idiot right now, she’s going to be even more embarrassed. There’s a fine line between protective and patronizing, okay? Don’t make this worse.”

I nod. “Okay.”

“I’m sorry, I have no idea what happened. I kissed her first but then backed off. She’s the one who wanted to—”

“I know. It’s not your fault. She’s been trying to prove all summer that she can handle sex with me. She’s trying to be more daring so she fits into this scene. This city. She thinks that’s what I want from her.”

“Do you?”

“Not at all,” I reply. “Look, Cass, we’re not doing this anymore. You and I are going to keep our clothes on from now on.” I look around the room. “And I’m not coming here anymore. Gramps can donate Ruby’s for all I care. I don’t want anything in my life that comes between me and Avery.”

Avery

I burst through the exit doors of Ruby’s and scour the long row of vehicles parked in front of the club. There is a fleet of limos waiting to take drunk partygoers home, but I’m looking for a red Escalade—my ride share.

By now my breathing has calmed and my tears have mostly dried. I made a quick stop into the bathroom to somewhat compose myself.

What the fuck was I thinking? I pull my phone from my clutch again and check the ride-share app. I had to share the ride and I’m the second passenger to be picked up. I am not in the mood to drive around Las Vegas with a stranger, but it’s all that’s available right now. I’m sure I’m lucky to even have booked a ride. From the looks of it, my driver is stuck at a red light and attempting to make a U-turn, so I make a call to kill the time.

She answers in a groggy slur.

“Aves?”

“Palmer,” I say through a sniffle. She hears the strain in my voice and is immediately on high alert.

“What’s wrong?” For a moment, I just breathe and cry into the phone, so she asks again. “Where are you? It’s past midnight.”

“Outside of the birthday party, waiting on a ride.”

“Where’s Finn?”

My heart drops. He’s going to be upset that I ran out on him, but I’m so overwhelmed at the moment. I don’t want him to make it okay. I know he will, and right now I need to feel the overwhelming magnitude of my decisions. I’ve been reckless this entire summer, and I need to recognize that.

“I watched him kiss another woman—”

Her voice drops. “I will seriously murder a motherfucker—”

“No, Palmer. Not like that. I tried to have a threesome and I couldn’t do it. We talked about it. It was just…sex. But watching him with someone else…” It hurt. I trail off and try to calm my rising hysteria. “I think I’m already in love with him.”

This all happened way too fast. It didn’t even hurt this bad when Mason dumped me and that was after four years. Yes, I could’ve told Finn and Cass that I was uncomfortable and that we should stop. Finn would’ve gallantly walked me out of this club, taken me home, held me in bed, and everything would be okay.

That’s the problem.

Finn makes me feel so secure that I haven’t seen the mess I’ve been creating all summer. I’ve been running from my home, my problems, and getting whisked up into a situation that I am not equipped to handle. This isn’t the life I want and now I’m wildly attached. I’m probably going to spend the next four years changing my identity and personality to accommodate yet another man…and lose myself all over again.

“You tried to have a threesome?” Palmer doesn’t hide the shock in her voice. “And you’re in love?”

“I miss you, Palmer. I miss home. I miss me.” The real version of me who isn’t exhausted from trying to be something she’s not. I’m mundane. I’m vanilla… And I’m okay with that.

“Did you book your flight?”

I suck in a little breath again. “Not yet. I’m going to go home right now and pack a few things. I’ll get on standby. It’s easier to catch a redeye anyway. Send me your hotel details. I’ll catch a ride from the airport.”

“Don’t be silly. Call me and wake me up. I’ll pick you up whenever your flight lands… Aves, it’s going to be okay. I’m here, babe. This summer has been a mess for both of us. We’re going to go home and pick up the pieces. We’ll get through this like we always do—together.”

I nod into the phone. “Okay,” I whisper.

“I love you, Aves.”

“I know, me too.” Looking up, I see a large red SUV pulling in front of Ruby’s neon red sign. “My ride is here. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I hang up and as I approach the vehicle, the driver rolls down the window. He looks me up and down in my mermaid costume. “Ms. Avery?” he asks.

Wiping under my eyes and trying to mop up the fresh batch of tears, I nod. “Yes, that’s me.”

“Left side, ma’am,” he responds before rolling the window back up.

I walk to the other side of the car and pull open the door to see my ride-share buddy already seated and buckled. Holy shit. She’s startlingly gorgeous. Forget Maura, Palmer, all these mean girls at the restaurants, Lennox, Cass, and every woman in Las Vegas whose looks I’ve secretly envied. This woman puts them all to shame. Her petite frame is sheathed in a skin-tight leather minidress. She looks like she’s dressed as a sexy character from the Matrix. And her stick-straight, long black hair is pulled to the side. She looks up at me with her big, light brown eyes as I settle in my seat and buckle in.

“I love your costume. Mermaids are so in.” Even her voice is melodic. She must notice my red eyes because she suddenly cocks her head to the side. “You okay?”

“Long night.”

“Same,” she says with a small smile. She calls out to the driver, “You can take her first. I’m in no hurry to go home.”

“Were you at the birthday party?” I have no idea why I’m trying to make conversation at the moment. Maybe as a distraction to avoid more crying.

“For about five minutes. My exes got into a fight,” she grumbles. “I’ve been hiding out ever since.”

Oh, fuck me. It dawns on me instantly. I’d hop right out of this vehicle, had it not already pulled into traffic. Maybe I can still open the door and just tuck and roll. Of course this is how my night would end. I know exactly who this is. The question is…

Does she know who I am?

I hold out my hand. “I’m Avery. I’m a friend of Finn’s. It’s nice to meet you.”

Her ears perk up at his name and it’s clear she realizes what I’m saying. She takes my hand, somewhat reluctantly.

“Nice to meet you.” Her pretty eyes narrow. “I’m Nora.”