Camera Shy (Lessons in Love Book 1)

The rapid knocking at the clients’ entry of my studio tells me one thing clearly…

Avery is not amused with my outfit choice.

I watch her through the sliding glass doors with one of her hands clutching her hip tightly, her lips pursed, and her foot tapping. I’ve barely slid the door open to let her in when she holds out the thigh-high black stockings I sent over with Lennox.

“I think you forgot the rest of my wardrobe.”

“Well, hey, gorgeous. Can we pause for a moment?” I pull a long tendril of her hair over her shoulder. It’s been brushed out into soft, sleek waves. Avery’s makeup is flawless. A little overly dramatic, which is ideal for pictures. Photographs always wash out makeup, so Lennox knows to go a little heavier. “You look—”

I exhale as I clutch my chest, feeling my excited heart pump against my palm.

She tilts her head to the side adorably and her frustration has simmered for the moment. “You think?” Avery holds her chin with the back of her fingers.

“I know. You look incredible.” Grabbing her hand, I pull her into the studio and close and lock the doors behind me. Just to be safe, I lock the entry to the studio by the stairs as well. In case Lennox decided not to go home. I don’t need any interruptions tonight. I’ve been salivating thinking of this moment all week. I took my own advice. Holding out made me go from needy to full-on desperate and I’m going to wreck this beautiful woman tonight in the best way.

But first things first…

“Why don’t you head into the set and get changed.” I point to the door leading to the boudoir room. “I’ll be in shortly. Do you need anything?”

“Yes.” She blinks at me. “The rest of my outfit.” She shakes the thigh-high stockings at me again. “I never agreed to do this fully nude.”

“You’re not fully nude.” I point to her hand with a smug smile. “You have stockings. They are cozy and flattering. Give them a chance.”

“Finn.” She scowls at me.

“Avery.” I scowl right back. “I have seen, licked, and kissed every inch of your body and have enjoyed it all thoroughly. You have nothing to hide. Remember, I’m not going to see these pictures. They are for you. But I want you to experience the full effect.”

She’s unable to argue with my logic. “Is the room at least warm?”

“Sweltering,” I say. “I want you sweating.”

“Fine.” She heads toward the back room but then plants her feet and spins around. “You’re not going to watch me change? You’re going to see me naked anyway.”

I fold my arms over my chest. Goddamn, I’d like to. But then I’d be way too tempted to fuck you senseless before we got started. Photographing Avery with cum dripping down her thigh is crossing the line from boudoir to pornographic. “For the next half hour or so, I’m going to be very professional. Your gynecologist doesn’t ask you to strip down in front of her, does she?”

Avery flattens a stare at me like she’s surprised by my absolute responses. “No, he does not.”

“Exactly, so—” Wait. “He?”

“Mhm.”

She’s not my girlfriend… Am I allowed to ask her to get a new doctor? Fuck, I hate this gray area. We really need to cross this line before summer is over.

Hell, maybe we should cross it tonight.

“Anyway, I am going to treat this shoot like you’re my actual client. I want you to know what I do for a living and how I do it. So—” I clear my throat with importance. “Ms. Scott, please go get changed. I think there’s a clean robe on the hook right next to the door. Would you like me to grab you a cold water?”

She exhales. “Okay, yes, please.” I can see the nerves in her eyes, right behind the fire dancing. I’m so fucking proud of her. I know she’s nervous, and she’s blowing right past it. I know she’s insecure, but she’s not letting it ruin her life. I am obsessed with the way she carries herself. This woman sure as hell doesn’t need me…I just need her to want me.

“I’ll knock before I enter. If you’re not ready and need more time to get dressed, just say so.”

“They are stockings, Finn. It’s not rocket science. I’ll be ready in two minutes. Let’s just get this over with.”

Her long hair fans out as she whips around and heads through the door to the boudoir set, shutting it behind her.

I twiddle my thumbs, giving her longer than two minutes. I want her to have a moment alone to soak it all in. This photo shoot will move fast. Not just because I’m trying to blow past dinner to get to dessert, but I was meticulous about setting up the shoot. My light kit is fixed perfectly and I have the props staged exactly as I need them. I really wish I were doing this with a DSLR. The set Lennox designed is perfection, and it’s a shame I’m going to bumble this with a film camera, but hopefully, Avery falls in love with the powerful feeling of being the star of the show. Maybe she’ll let me repeat this properly one day.

My fist is raised at the door, but it opens a sliver before I can knock. I hear her step away, her soft footsteps on the hardwood floor, so I push it open and enter. Avery omitted the robe but is doing everything she can to cover as much of her naked body as possible. Her forearm is wrapped tight around her breasts, nearly smashing them into flat disks. She also has her thighs pressed together so tight her legs look flushed. Her other hand is sprawled out in front of her pussy like I haven’t seen it before.

Perhaps I should be aroused. I thought I’d be fighting a hard-on this entire shoot, but Avery looks so nervous at the moment, all I feel is protective.

“Deep breath,” I instruct, but she doesn’t obey. In fact, it looks like she’s holding her breath. “Avery,” I say again. “Take a deep breath. It’s okay. It’s just me and this shouldn’t be news to you by now, but you look incredible. So sexy and powerful.”

“How long will this take? Ten minutes or so?”

I exhale. “I’m going to do something I normally would never offer a client, so you’ll have to pardon the lack of professionalism.”

Her eyes light up, no doubt thinking I’m going to omit the photos and throw her onto the bed. Incorrect. “Come here,” I say, pulling her against my chest. She’s so much shorter than me without heels, so I can easily rest my chin on her head. “Hey, shrimp, can you see over my shoulder?” I wrap my arms tighter around her, trailing the divot of her spine with my fingertips.

“I can,” she mumbles against my pec.

“What’s that sign say?”

She mutters something incomprehensible.

“One more time?” I ask.

“You’re beautiful,” she grumbles, fully agitated.

“And?”

“You’re worthy,” she says in a huff.

“And?”

She leans backward and tilts her chin up to find my eyes. “That’s all it says. You’re beautiful and you’re worthy.”

“And you’re mine,” I add. Hooking my finger under her chin the way I’ve done a dozen times by now, I rub my thumb across her cheek soothingly. “I take really good care of what’s mine, Avery. I promise you.”

It takes her a while to speak, and then finally she drops her arms and buries into me. Her head knocks against my chest. Her freed breasts press against the top of my abs. She wraps her arms around my neck and speaks into my shirt quietly, maybe hoping I can’t hear. But her words ring through clearly. “You…are…overwhelming, Finn. I never stood a chance.”

“I know,” I say. It’s how I intended it. From the moment I learned her name, I wanted to make Avery Scott fall for me. “Now, if you really are uncomfortable, I do actually have some brand-new lingerie you could wear.”

“You do?” She looks at me, her brows furrowing.

“I took your advice and called some of those boutiques to see if they would carry my business cards in exchange for showing off their collections for my clients. They donated a few sets and I asked for everything in your size.”

She narrows her eyes. “Being?”

“Hey, now. We don’t talk numbers in the studio. I just asked for everything in a size beautiful. Do you want to try it on?”

Peeling herself away from me and taking a giant step backward, Avery’s entire body is in plain view. Every soft bow and fleshy curve of her body has me mentally salivating, especially because now she looks more determined than I’ve ever seen her.

“No, I’m okay. Let’s do this.”

“Good girl,” I say and pump my brows.

Her jaw drops as she scoffs. “So much for keeping this professional.”

I chuckle as I spin her around and pat her bare ass. “Last one. I promise.” Grabbing my loaded camera from the table behind me, I continue in my most business-like tone. “Now, Ms. Scott, could you take a seat on the floor with your back against the footboard of the bed?”

She does as I ask and I resist the urge to call her my good girl once again.

“Bend your knees and arch your back a bit—there. Good, that’s perfect.”

I cross the space between us and adjust her long hair. Avery has the perfect hair and style for a boudoir shoot. I can strategically hide her nipples underneath her long locks. When I’m satisfied with her pose, I step back and allow myself to admire the view.

“All right,” I say, “you ready?”

She nods somewhat stoically, trying not to jostle her hair out of place.

“Okay, Queen, we’re going to dive right in. I’m only going to put you through one roll of film—I’ve only got thirty-six shots I can take, so we’re not going to waste any time on shyness.”

“Okay,” she answers.

I lower my voice. “Now spread your legs but completely cover your perfect little clit with your palm. Because if I see it, I’m going to have to stop what I’m doing and suck on it.”

Avery looks like she’s torn between scolding my audacity or succumbing to the sexy thought. Her lips slacken and her bottom lip parts from the top, just slightly, and even under the soft glow of the mood lighting, I can see her cheeks flush.

There it is. Perfect shot. That’s exactly the expression I wanted. Thirsty, nervous desire. And now it’s time to go to work.

Click. Click.

“Spread your legs a little wider. Hold that pose.” I boss her around absentmindedly as I take two steps to my right for a different angle.

Click. Click.

“That’s beautiful, Avery. Exactly what I want to see.”

Good girl.

Avery

We did not stop at one roll of film. He’s had to replace the camera film at least twice now. I was nervous for the first five minutes and then something powerful took over me.

It was Finn’s eyes and the way he was trying to control his smile as he looked through the lens. He’s been scolding me for the past half hour because I have a bad habit of looking right at the camera.

Stop that. Look over there, Avery.

Over my shoulder.

Don’t stare right at the lens, Queen.

I needed a lot of direction, but little did Finn know, I wasn’t staring at the camera. I was staring at his eyes. He looked so pleased. So damn pleased with me. He’s looking at me the way I imagine I look at him.

It isn’t selfish or unbecoming to be the star every now and then. It feels damn good to get dressed up and feel so sexy and so…womanly. I never understood that definition until today.

Woman. That word. It’s power, but it’s tenderness. It’s control, but compromise. A woman can be all things, to all people, which is why she has to be so careful about what she chooses.

I chose to step back.

I chose to be told how I should feel about myself.

I chose to love everyone else more than I loved myself.

And that’s why Finn wanted to do this because there’s magic in this studio. At first, I listened to his commands, adjusting myself as he saw fit. Then the tables turned and I started bossing him around. I wanted to try new poses and different angles. He photographed me with the stockings on and then off. I let the sexy black high heels he used as a prop dangle on my foot as I pretended to touch myself. I rolled around in a bed of black roses like my very essence was sin and lust. I’ve never known this energy. But now that I’ve found it, I am determined to keep it.

My ass and my breasts are bare all over that camera and I can’t wait to see what these pictures look like. I can’t wait to see the expression on my face because I imagine it’s complete. Satisfied. Finally…

Confident.

It’s true. I thought confidence would make me feel taller or more poised. I thought my voice would get a bit deeper and my chin would be permanently fixed in an upward tilt.

But no.

Confidence feels like relief. Goddamn relief. That finally the way I feel about myself is more important than Mason’s dissatisfaction, Palmer’s condescension, or my parents’ blatant lack of interest in me.

I’m beautiful to the core. I’m worthy of my own approval. I’m Finn’s…

Or at least I want to be.

“Queen, we’re out of film,” Finn says softly, pulling me from the haze of my hedonic power trip. “We’ve been at it for over an hour.”

“Really?”

“Time flies when you’re—”

“Naked in front of a man you desperately want to have sex with?”

Finn’s lips twitch into a cocky smile. Crossing the room, he sets down his camera carefully and returns to me on the bed. I’m sprawled out, with the white sheet strategically draped across my hips. I watch his light blue eyes darken as he crawls onto the bed. I half expect him to rip the sheet away and throw my legs over his shoulder, but instead, he rolls me onto my side and spoons me from behind. I’m slightly perturbed because I can’t see his handsome face. When I try to roll over, he grips my hip, hard. I wince more out of surprise.

“Don’t look, just listen,” he grumbles into my ear. “You did a fantastic job. The camera loves you.”

“Thank you.” I say it genuinely because for some reason, I actually believe him. I felt like the camera loved me for the first time in my life.

He pulls my earlobe between his lips and tugs. “Can I photograph you again?”

“Yes,” I respond without hesitation.

“I’m serious. With clothes, without. You’re so beautiful, Avery. My heart is sore from pounding so hard for you.”

I giggle, but it seems inappropriate because Finn doesn’t chuckle back. Is he not being playful? “Are you trying to sweet talk me into sex? Because I’m already there, buddy.” I try to turn around to face him, but again he puts pressure on my hip, keeping me locked in place.

“No, I’m trying to tell you how I feel. If you were to move here, to Vegas. We could call this what it actually is.”

“What is it?” My reply is knee-jerk. I know what he’s getting at, but I want to hear the sound of his voice when he says it.

Finn brushes my hair away from my neck and plants a tender kiss behind my ear. He releases the death grip on my hip and runs his strong hand over the dip of my waist and pulls me against him even closer. His voice is low and deep in my ear. “We make each other happy. We make each other feel secure. It’s easy, just be with me.”

I know he can feel my heart thudding out of control, and I don’t care. He deserves to know how I feel. He calls me Queen, but he’s the one who acts like royalty. Finn is the textbook definition of a fantasy man, and it’s a little hard to believe this is my fairy tale.

“You’d want me to move here to be with you or move in with you?”

He must take my question as validation because I feel him smile into my neck as he grips my bare breast. “I don’t care,” he murmurs between kisses. “I’m open to anything except long-distance. A couple should be together when they decide to be together.”

Personally, I don’t mind long-distance, but maybe that’s because I never felt as desperate for Mason as I do for Finn. But his aversion is understandable. His father’s entire career was on the road and worked as a cover-up for leading several other lives. It makes sense that he’d want the opposite of what his parents had. I have a feeling Finn wouldn’t be too keen if I were to tell him I was thinking of pursuing a life as a commercial pilot, either.

“That’s a big step.” I blow out a sharp breath and invite my deepest insecurity into the bed with us.

What if you end up staying with me out of guilt? What if you feel trapped because you don’t want to look like the villain who asked a girl to start a life with you and then felt jilted when the spell was finally broken?

“What if you regret it?” I ask.

Now he rolls me over to face him. He shakes his head at me, his eyes narrowed. “Not a chance. Don’t even go there.”

“Finn, there are a lot of loose ends—”

“I know,” he says. “We’re not on a time limit. Why don’t you figure out what’s going on with Legacy Resorts first? You make that decision based on what’s best for you. And then when you know where you’re going to be, we can figure out us.”

“You’ll wait for me to get things settled first?”

He flashes me his charming, million-dollar smile. “Of course. Where would I go, Queen? I’m completely hooked on you.”

Confidence is a daring vixen and when she’s feeling particularly full of self-love, acceptance, and the deepest kind of connection, she just can’t wait.

“Thank you. Now, I’ve been naked in front of you for over an hour. Are you planning on doing something about it? Because it’s been a while since we’ve been together, and I’d really like to have sex now.”

His smile disappears. “Wait a minute. I’m confused. Last time we talked about this, you didn’t ask for sex.”

“What?” I squall. Incorrect. I’m pretty sure I’ve been explicitly clear that Finn’s body is my preferred drug and my favorite kind of high.

His eyes narrow and I clue into what he’s doing right before he says it. “You don’t want to have sex, Avery, you want to get fucked, don’t you?”

Good grief, please, no one save me. Let it end like this.

“Yes.”

“Atta girl.” Finn yanks off his thin white T-shirt with one hand and discards it like a rag. The thing looked fatigued trying to hold in his muscles anyway. The shirt is probably relieved to be a crumpled mess on the floor. Sitting up, Finn presses his back against the headboard as he unbuttons his pants and frees his length. I swear it grows every time I see it. Because every time I see his smooth, hard cock I’m almost certain I can’t handle the size.

He proves me wrong every single time.

“Get on your stomach,” Finn commands as he throws his pants and briefs to join his shirt on the floor.

“Don’t you mean my knees?”

He releases a harsh laugh. “No. I meant what I said. You’re going to need to listen carefully because I don’t like to repeat myself when I’m in this kind of mood.” His low, grumbly tenor turns into a growl. “Knees fatigue. Get comfortable on your belly because you’re going to be down there a while.” When I’m lying flat between his legs, he reaches down and grabs me by the hair, firmly guiding my mouth over his cock. I open my mouth as wide as I can but gag when he puts in more than I was expecting.

Finn pulls away and gives me a moment to breathe.

“I can take it,” I pant out of breath. I open my mouth again, but he stills.

“You sure?”

“Yeah… Go crazy. I want it.” I dab at the involuntary tears underneath my eyes. “I’ll let you know if I can’t handle it. Should we have a safe word?”

Finn rolls his eyes. “The safe word is ‘stop,’ Avery. Just tell me and I’ll listen. This is for you, so the moment you don’t like it, I’ll stop.”

I nod eagerly. “Don’t let me give up. I want to swallow you whole.” I open my mouth, flattening my tongue as best as I can, which I’ve learned Finn really enjoys.

“That dirty mouth of yours,” Finn says with a smirk. “Open wider, Queen. Tonight, you’re going to take it all.”