Burn for Burn

RENNIE AND I ARE GETTING READY FOR THE DANCE AT my house. It’s our tradition. My mom always lets us take over her and my dad’s bedroom. When she helped design our house, she made sure to give herself a huge master bathroom and an attached dressing area with a three-way mirror. She also had the electrician set up a bunch of different lighting settings—daytime, office, night—so we can make sure our hair and makeup look perfect.

My mom has tons and tons of amazing clothes, Chanel and Dior and vintage Halston. Floor-length off-the-shoulder gowns, silky blouses that tie at the neck, tweed suits. Definitely not anything I’d ever wear to school, but my mom says she’s putting a padlock on the door once I turn twenty.

It’s stuffy in the room, with the blow-dryers and the curling irons heating up, so I go open the sliding glass door to the balcony. My mom and Ms. Holtz are on the patio below, having a glass of white wine, watching the sky turn pink as the sun sets over the water. Ms. Holtz lights up a cigarette. We don’t have any ashtrays, so my mom takes a tea light out of a glass candle holder she had sent from Italy, and lets Ms. Holtz use that. Ms. Holtz and my mom are definitely friendly, but I wouldn’t call them friends, exactly.

“Lillia!” Nadia calls out from the bathroom. “Can you please, please, please do my eyes?”

Nadia’s nervous because she has a date. A sophomore named James Melnic asked her. He’s short, but he seems nice enough. I asked Alex because he knows him from football, and he said he’s a good guy. I’m still going to keep my eye on them.

I tell Nadia to sit up on the counter. Then I do her eyes like mine with black eyeliner, but I make the line a bit thinner, since she’s only a freshman. I also use some lilac shadow on her, because her dress is a light, almost silvery purple. It looks like it’s made up of one piece of ribbon, wrapped tight around her like a bandage.

“What about lipstick?” Nadia says as I give her a bit of blush.

“Just do gloss,” I tell her. Nadia pouts. “Lipstick will be too much,” I say, annoyed

She looks at my face. “What about the one you’re wearing?”

I bought a pale pink one, special for my dress. “Too much,” I repeat.

“Lil’s right, Nadia,” Rennie calls out from the dressing room. “You don’t want to look like a hooker.”

“Fine,” Nadia sighs, not entirely convinced, and she disappears into her bedroom.

I take a last look at my hair. I swept the front part across my forehead and twisted it into a low side bun. A few pieces feel loose, so I tuck in a couple more hair pins and spray everything down with hair spray. A touch of that pink lipstick, pink cheek, and black eyeliner. It’s a pale girly look, to compliment the starkness of my black dress, and to match the heels I bought in the palest shade of pink. I’ve been wearing them around the house in thick socks ever since I got them, in the hopes that I’ll break them in.

Rennie is fretting in front of the three-way mirror. She looks great in her sequined dress, which she paired with a sparkly cuff bracelet that my mom lent her, and a bright red lip. Her hair isn’t done, though. Rennie keeps piling it on top of her head, and then letting it go, so it falls around her shoulders.

“Ren, we’d better get going,” I say. Everyone is meeting at Ashlin’s house for pictures.

“Shit,” she says. “I can’t decide if I should do up or down.” She’s nervous and blotchy. She lifts her arms up and fans her armpits. “Help me, Lil. Which do you think Reeve will like best?”

“Come here.”

Rennie flops into one of my mom’s stuffed chairs. I stand behind her and curl the ends of her hair with the big barrel curling iron. I want to ask her about Reeve, what she did or didn’t do with him after I left Ash’s, but I don’t. I just pin back the sides. “Pretty.”

Rennie gets up and looks at herself in the mirror. I’m standing behind her, looking too. I think it looks great with the dress, that there’s a touch of softness to counteract her sparkle and glitz. For a second I’m afraid she doesn’t like what I’ve done. But then I realize she’s not even looking at herself. She’s looking at me, my reflection behind her.

“Lil?” she says, spinning around to face me.

“What?” I say nervously.

Rennie leans forward and hugs me tightly. Then she peels herself away, looks me in the face, and says, “I feel like my whole life would have been different if we hadn’t become friends.” Her eyes glitter with tears.

“Ren,” I say, and then I can barely swallow, knowing what’s going to happen to her tonight. I tell myself Rennie will be a better person after this is over. It’ll be like how things went with Alex. We’ll all come out better on the other side.

The doorbell rings. Nadia screams for me to come downstairs. Rennie and I grab our shoes and our clutch purses and go see what’s up. Nadia’s taking a white box from the hands of a delivery man while Mom signs his clipboard.

“Hmm,” Mom says, and then turns and gives a secret smile to Ms. Holtz. “What could that be?”

Ms. Holtz smiles back, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

I open the card in the tiny white envelope. For my two girls—have fun tonight. Love, Daddy.

Nadia tears open the box. I swear she’s an animal when it comes to presents. “Daddy sent us corsages!” Nadia screams, sliding hers onto her wrist. It’s a purple orchid, and it goes perfectly with her dress.

Rennie looks over my shoulder as I take mine out of the box and put it onto my wrist. Mine is a pale pink orchid. “That’s so pretty, Lil,” she says in a small voice. I can tell she’s jealous.

When I turn around, I see Nadia opening up my clutch. I lunge at her and scream, “Don’t go into my bag!”

Nadia’s mouth drops open. I literally rip it out of her hands and say, “I said, NO LIPSTICK!” My hands are shaking.

Nadia recoils. “Sorr-ee.”

Rennie gives me a funny look. “Ease up, Lil.”

My mom takes a picture of Nadia and me with our corsages on, and e-mails them to my dad. Then Nadia’s date comes to take her to her friend’s house. He brings her a corsage too, so now she’s wearing a corsage on each wrist. Of course Mom makes them pose on the stairs together. Nadia threads her arm through her date’s and smiles. In her heels they are the same height.

After they leave, Ms. Holtz and my mom drive us over to Ashlin’s in my mom’s car. The limo we rented is already there, parked out front.

PJ, Reeve, and Alex are standing together awkwardly, passing around PJ’s water bottle with vodka inside. They all have suits on. I think Reeve’s is the same one he wore to junior formal. I can tell because it’s charcoal gray, and because the jacket is tight across his shoulders. PJ has on these weird plastic sunglasses he swears are cool, despite the fact that he bought them for $5.99 at Beachcombers. Alex is the only one who actually looks comfortable in his suit. It’s nice, a black jacket, his tie is gray, and his shoes are freshly shined. Alex goes to a lot of dress-up functions with his family. I know that because his mom’s always trying to invite my mom along.

Reeve’s mom is pinning Rennie’s corsage on. It’s a hot pink rose with baby’s breath. Rennie freaked out when Reeve gave it to her. She jumped up and gave him a kiss on the cheek. It’s not like he went to the florist shop and was, like, This rose will match my date’s shoes, or whatever. I’m sure his mom picked it out.

Ashlin looks beautiful in her dress. It’s short with an empire waist and a swingy skirt of rows of cream-colored silk, and it makes her look really tan. Her hair is twisted and pinned up, a few pieces in tiny braids, and her heels are strappy pale gold.

She’s going to make a great homecoming queen. I just hope Reeve doesn’t totally ruin the moment for her. Kat said a couple big drops of the E would do the trick, but maybe I’ll just do one. I don’t want him to throw up on her or something.

Ashlin’s mom directs us to the front steps of the house. As we line up, I find myself next to Reeve. He looks at me for a quick second and then walks away and stands on the opposite side of the group, slinging his arm over Rennie. Everyone else shifts over to make room for them.

We take a few pictures like that. Then Rennie calls out, “Couples!”

I walk off the stairs, and she and Reeve cuddle together, his arms around her waist. She throws her head back, laughing at something he whispered into her ear.

Mrs. Lind jumps out with her camera and says, “Lillia! Go stand next to Alex.”

I turn, and Alex blushes. “We’re not going together, Mom,” he says.

Mrs. Lind lifts her camera up to her face. “I know, but the two of you look so cute together. Don’t they, Grace?”

My mom nods approvingly. “Send me a copy of that one, Celeste.”

“Of course,” she says, gesturing for us to stand next to each other.

Alex comes up next to me, and we smile for the camera.

“A little closer,” Mrs. Lind urges. “Put your arm around her, Alex.”

Alex sighs and puts his arm around me, saying, “Come on, Mom. We have to leave soon.” He put on cologne. He doesn’t usually wear cologne. It smells nice, though, like lavender and woods.

Mrs. Lind starts snapping away. My smile feels like it’s cracking. I wish we were already at the dance, so my part was done.