Chapter 51
I ignore the muttering and side-eye glances as I walk toward Nathan’s office, stopping in front of his secretary’s desk. I clear my throat, and she looks up at me, a sympathetic half smile on her face. I roll back my shoulders, trying to fake a confidence I don’t feel. This all seemed much easier when it was only a plan in my head. The execution of it, however, is proving to be far more terrifying than I could have anticipated. I look Helen in the eyes. “I need to see him.”
“He’s not available right now.”
I stay rooted to the spot. “I know he’s in there.”
“He’s busy.”
I wring my hands in front of me. “Please, Helen. It’s important.”
She smiles gently, and the pity in her eyes makes me want to cry. I ball my hands into fists, my fingernails biting into my palms as I try to stop myself from losing it in the reception area of Nathan’s office.
“He has a meeting in ten minutes,” she says with a tilt of her head.
“I only need five, but I need to speak with him.” I guess she recognizes the desperation in my voice because she offers me another sympathetic glance and tells me she’ll see what she can do before disappearing into his office.
Less than two minutes later, Helen ushers me inside. Nathan doesn’t even bother to look up when I walk into the room, keeping his head bent over the papers on his desk. Narcissistic jerkwad.
My legs tremble with each step, and I take a seat opposite him while trying my best to forget the last time I was here and the things he said to me. What I almost said to him.
He still doesn’t look at me.
I sigh. “I was told you didn’t have much time.”
His head snaps up, a scowl furrowing his brow. “What the hell do you want? If you’re here to discuss the terms—”
“I’m not here about the divorce.”
His eyes narrow, studying my face. “So what is it?”
Dear Lord, strike one of us down right now and save me from having to do this. I let out a shaky breath and fold my hands in my lap, squeezing them together to stop them from shaking.
“Melanie!”
I flinch at his tone, and I’m half-tempted to stand and walk out on his grumpy ass. He doesn’t deserve to know. Doesn’t deserve to share this with me, assuming by some miracle he wants to. But our child deserves a chance to know their father, even if that father is currently behaving like the world’s biggest asshole. “Before I tell you this, I need you to know that it’s not some move or a ploy to scam you. This is my life, and I’ll be happy enough to walk out of here and never see you again, but …” I suck in a deep breath. “I also believe that you have a right to know.”
That scowl on his face deepens. “To know what?”
“That I’m pregnant.”
His mouth opens like he wants to say something, but he’s silent. The great Nathan James, lost for words. I bet that’s a first. He sinks back in his chair and runs a hand through his thick hair. “How?”
I roll my eyes. “You need a biology lesson?”
His lip curls in a sneer. “You were on birth control.”
“Yeah, when we were together. But the night you came to Tyler’s …” My voice drops to a whisper as the memory of that night slams into me. The hurt of him leaving feels every bit as raw now, even after four weeks.
“So you just stopped taking your pill?” He shakes his head like he doesn’t believe me.
“Well I had no reason to remember to take it, and I had a few other things on my mind,” I snap. “Forgive me if I wasn’t prepared for you to come to Tyler’s apartment just to get your rocks off with a goodbye-fuck before you threw divorce papers in my face.”
His eye twitches, and he rolls his neck.
I blow out a breath. Anger isn’t going to help this situation. “Like I said, I’m telling you because I believe you should know, but I don’t want or need anything from you, Nathan. Truth be told, I’d prefer to do this alone than with someone who can barely stand to look at me. But if you want to be a part of our child’s life, I won’t stand in your way.”
His Adam’s apple bobs, and he fixes me with a steely glare. “And you’re sure it’s mine?”
He may as well have punched me in the gut. I reel backward, tears springing to my eyes as he rips a fresh slice out of my already broken heart. Mustering what little dignity I have left and willing my hormonal ass not to let him see me cry, I push myself up onto shaky legs. “Have a nice life, Nathan.”
I spin on my heel and stride out of his office, slamming the door closed behind me.