Chapter 36
Did someone just knock? I sit up on the couch and listen. The quiet of the apartment feels suffocating, as if all sound disappeared when Roman walked out the door a few minutes ago.
Another knock, and this time I hear it clearly. I go to the door, dragging my feet. I’m trembling like a leaf, my teeth clattering as if I’m cold. My broken heart is doing this to me, and also my tears.
God, I want to pretend nothing happened. That this is all a nightmare. That I’ll wake up soon, and he will be with me. Will love me…
Pressing my palm to my chest, I wince from the stinging pang in my heart. My eyes well with tears again. I want them to go away.
With shaking hands, I open the door without checking who it might be. The moment my eyes slam into those familiar dark green ones, my knees give out. Angie rushes inside, hugging me tightly and running her hands up and down my back.
“Nev…what happened?” she asks. Like a fish out of water, I try to breathe fully, but I’m too hysterical. “Let’s sit down.”
Angie closes the door and guides me to the living room. She leads me to the couch, and I climb onto it, pulling my legs to my chest and wrapping my arms around my ankles.
“Oh my God, Nev! You’re shaking!” Angie exclaims, pressing her palm to my forehead. I look up, studying her through clouded vision. “Well, at least no fever. Do you want something to drink?” I shake my head no. “To eat?” I shake my head again. “When was the last time you ate?”
I shrug and hide my face in my knees, not looking at Angie anymore. She huffs, clicking her tongue loudly. Her irritation rises, but she doesn’t say anything. Instead, she wheels around and leaves the living room. Her steps sound distant at first, and then after a minute she returns. A glass of water materializes in front of my eyes when I look up.
“Drink.” She presses it to my knee. “Drink, Nev.”
Reluctantly, I grip the glass and press it to my lips, taking a sip. Angie sits beside me, her fingers gently brushing my hair off my face. Silent sobs still rack my body, but gradually, I start to relax. Little by little, the trembling stops, and I can take a lungful.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, staring ahead of me.
“Drake told me you needed me.” My head bolts in Angie’s direction, my eyebrows knitting together. She looks at me. Her eyes are full of pity, and a clenched half smile plays on her lips. “Roman said something to him at the airport.” There’s a little pause as she takes a deep breath. “I saw him getting on his motorcycle as I parked my car.”
Even though he’s furious with me…he cares about me enough to ask my best friend to stay with me. But not enough to love me.
I focus my gaze on the TV screen. The episode I was watching when Roman came home is still on pause, but I can’t bring myself to turn it off. It reminds me of him…because Roman suggested I watch it once we finished Peaky Blinders. I’m not sure I’ll ever have it in me to finish Vikings now.
“What happened, Nev? Drake said Roman wouldn’t say anything else, just asked me to come over and keep you company.”
“He left me. Packed some of his stuff and left.”
“What? That doesn’t make any sense. Did he read the article?”
“He did. It’s why he left. He said I betrayed his trust,” I mutter. Then I explain what happened after Roman got home. “I have no idea what he meant when he said I spilled his secrets. You read the article before I even sent it to Kai; you know there was nothing personal in there about him…it was all about how he makes me feel, how much I love him.” Letting go of my legs, I lower them to the floor and lean the back of my head against the couch, my eyes glued to the ceiling.
Angie taps her foot on the floor, her fingers rapping over her belly. Suddenly, she stands up. “I was in such a hurry to get here that I totally forgot. Drake brought the magazine home,” she says loudly, but I don’t pay her any attention. I’m wallowing in my misery.
I know he’s the one with all certainty. From the first time we met, I think my soul knew it. Even before he said a single word to me. It already felt different when our eyes met that night at the club. Something in him called out to my heart, and it felt right. Like our souls were made of the same material, fitting each other perfectly and filling one another with happiness and a sense of belonging. It’s a connection I can’t even explain. No logic, no rational thought. I saw all of him—happy, sad, and even shattered—and it only made me fall for him more.
But now I wonder if it was just me?
“Nev.” Angie’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts, and I sit up with a soft groan.
“What?” I stare at my best friend, who’s standing in front of me with the magazine in her hands.
“This is not the same article I read,” she says, and my eyes widen. “Like, it’s the same, but it’s also different. The part about Roman is rewritten.”
“What are you talking about?” I snatch the magazine from her hands and skim it. The more I read, the harder my jaw clenches. What I wrote about my parents, Kyle, and Angie is here, but not what I wrote about Roman.
The last third of the article tells the story of his life in Belarus, including parts I didn’t even know about. He never mentioned he had problems with alcohol after his brother’s death, just like he never said that his dad died of a heart attack. He told me he drank himself to death.
What the hell is this?
“I don’t understand.” I raise my face and peer at Angie.
“Someone rewrote your article,” she suggests, sitting beside me.
“I know that, Angie.” I instantly cringe at how I sound. She doesn’t deserve my anger; this is not her fault. “I just have no clue why someone would do this. If Kai thought my article wasn’t good enough, or compelling enough, he should’ve told me.” I shake my head, my heartbeat racing. “Plus, you know, this”—I point at the article—“requires a lot of digging. And I didn’t know about some of those things from Roman’s past. He never told me about them.”
“You think Kai asked someone to dig up dirt on Roman? To rewrite your article?”
“It seems like that, but…it doesn’t make any sense.” I close the magazine and toss it onto the coffee table. “Kai came to my office the second he finished reading it and said he loved it. He praised me for writing so openly about my past, about my trauma and my feelings for Roman. He said I was very delicate with what I put in there.”
Angie bites her bottom lip, her palm absentmindedly caressing her baby bump. “Roman is very reserved; he doesn’t like talking about his past. I’m honestly not sure anyone but Colton knows much about him. So I understand why he saw this article as a betrayal.”
“So do I.” I stand up and start pacing back and forth. “Roman struggled with opening up to me. And…and he said no one knows about some of the things he’s told me. He really trusted me, Angie, and now he thinks I used him to write this story. He doesn’t believe I love him.”
“He’s pissed off and hurt. Before he can really listen to you, he needs to calm down. If there are things in there he didn’t tell you about, it will be easy to prove that you didn’t write that.”
“I need to talk to Kai first. I need to know how this happened and who is responsible.” I grab my phone from the table. “Fuck, it’s eleven p.m.”
“Wait for tomorrow, Nev.”
“But—”
“You can’t change anything right now. Plus, Roman needs time to cool off—give it to him. He’ll listen to you. I’m sure he will.”
“What if you’re wrong?”
Angie stands up from the couch and takes my hands in hers, holding my gaze. “Roman was angry and hurt, but he still asked Drake to tell me to come here. That speaks volumes. Your husband loves you, even if he doesn’t realize it.”
“I’m so scared I’ll lose him forever,” I confess. My heart flutters weakly in my chest, afraid to beat stronger because of the pain it’s in.
“You’re the girl who makes his bad days better. The girl who makes him the happiest I’ve ever seen him.” Angie smiles softly, her fingers rubbing my wrists with affection. “Sometimes to get to our happy ending we need to go through some shit, to fight against all odds, but that only makes it more worth it. He was yours before you knew it. Even before he knew it.” She lets go of my hands and cups my face. “The way you met, him saving you that night at the club, letting you stay here, asking you to go to Vegas with him…it’s destiny, Nev. It can’t be anything else.”
“I hope you’re right.” I smile at her in return. Her words plant seeds of hope inside my chest, waves of warmth that spread through my veins. “Will you stay with me?”
“Like you even had to ask,” Angie laughs.
Listening to her melodic laughter, I feel the tightness in my chest loosen a bit. A familiar comfort blankets my body, and I know it’s all because of her. She’s my family. My home. And with her around, I start to believe that all is not lost.
This man is mine, and I’ll do anything to get him back.
“Hey,” I say, walking into Kai’s office without knocking. “You got a minute?”
Kai’s eyes roam over my face, deep wrinkles bracketing his mouth as he frowns. “Is everything alright? You don’t look so good.”
“I look like someone who spent all night crying, so ‘don’t look so good’ sounds like a compliment.” I slump into the chair across from him and fold my arms over my chest. “What happened to my article?”
Kai rears back in his seat and presses an open palm to the top of his head, confusion written all over his face. He pokes his tongue into his cheek, studying me in silence. “What do you mean? It’s doing amazing. All the comments are positive, praising you for being brave enough to speak up, thanking you for sharing a story so many can relate to. It only proves what—”
“I don’t care about any of that, Kai.” I cut him off angrily and lean forward, setting my elbows on his desk. “What happened to my article? Who did you ask to rewrite it?”
“Rewrite it? I didn’t ask anyone to rewrite it,” he states with conviction. “You sent me a draft, I read it and told you how much I loved it. Then, a day later, you sent me another draft, saying you thought it would be more powerful than the first and I should use that one.”
My jaw falls, and I gawk at my boss, unblinking. I did what?
“I-I sent you another file?”
“Nev, are you okay?” Kai asks quietly. “If you’re having problems, just tell me. I’ll do what I can to help.”
The buzz in my ears intensifies. Kai says something, but I don’t hear it. A fog clouds my mind, and my heart suddenly feels so heavy, it’s preventing me from being able to take deep breaths.
“Can you…Kai, can you show me that email?”
“Of course.” He nods, clicks his mouse a few times, and then turns his screen to me. “I was surprised you decided to revise it, honestly. It went from you talking about your feelings for Roman to you telling his story, but I thought you decided to add more drama. To drive your point home about people who live without love.”
“I didn’t do that. This is not my article, and I didn’t send you this email. Someone else did.”
“But…” Kai glances sideways, scowling and looking lost in thought. “You said something was happening with my emails to you. That it looked as if you’d read them when you didn’t.” I nod, swallowing my nerves. “Did you talk to our tech team?”
“They said they didn’t know why it was happening. That it didn’t look like anyone had hacked my email.”
“When was the last time you changed your password?” I shake my head signaling that I don’t remember, and Kai’s face darkens. “Someone must’ve had access to your email. Maybe they were reading my emails to you, checking your emails to me. Whoever it was probably replaced the article too.”
“Access to my…” I trail off, the picture slowly becoming crystal clear. How could I’ve been so stupid? The explanation was right there. “I’m such an idiot.”
“You know who did this?”
I nod, standing up from my chair. “Travis.”
“Your ex? He hacked your email?”
“He didn’t need to. A few months ago, I forgot my laptop here at the office, so I used his. I logged in to my email, sent the article I was working on to myself, and closed the laptop. I didn’t even check to see if I logged out; I never thought it would be a problem.” I stalk to the door, anger bubbling inside of my body.
“You want me to come with you?” Kai rises in his chair, but I shake my head no.
“It’s fine. I can handle him.” I open the door but pause in the doorframe. “Can you please replace what’s online with my original article?”
“Of course,” my boss says. “And take the day off. I’m guessing your husband wasn’t happy with that article.”
“He wasn’t, but I’ll do anything I can to fix it,” I reply and walk out the door. “I love him, and I refuse to give up on us.”
“Attagirl.” Kai’s voice follows me as I head down the hallway.
If someone had told me that Travis would do something like this, I would’ve never believed them. He wasn’t malicious or scheming. He was a good guy through and through. Until he wasn’t.
Because I broke his heart.
Viraj, Travis’s colleague, sees me first. There’s a cup of coffee pressed to his lips. He lowers it and smiles, waving at me.
“Nevaeh, hey. It’s been a while,” he says as I stop beside him, sweeping my gaze over the office’s open floor plan. “How did you get in?”
“Rosie let me in.” Joining my ex and his coworkers for drinks a few times definitely came in handy today. Rosie, a nice girl from reception, let me in right away. “Where is Travis?”
“On a call in the conference room.” Viraj points to a room with tinted glass walls.
“Thanks, Viraj. It was nice to see you.” I veer to my right, saunter over to the door, and knock loudly.
I’m absolutely fuming. It takes a lot not to show how furious I am. But I don’t want to be kicked out before I can talk to Travis.
The door swings open, and Travis’s face comes into view. He steps back, surprise coloring his features. I push past him, and he lets me, closing the door once I’m inside. Squinting at his laptop, I know his call is over. The code editor is launched, and the lines of whatever code he’s working on are displayed on the screen.
“What are you doing here, Nevaeh?”
“Don’t pretend you don’t know,” I grit, plopping myself down into a chair.
“You finally figured out I’ve been checking your emails. Took you long enough I must say. I kinda hoped you’d realize it sooner.” He smirks, sitting down across from me. “I could’ve marked them as ‘unread’ and you would’ve never even known something was wrong, but I wanted you to know…and you disappointed me.”
“Why did you even care about what was in my work emails?”
“I saw you with your husband in his car after you brought Happy back, and you lied to my fucking face when I confronted you about him.” Travis shrugs. “Hurt people hurt people, isn’t that what they say?”
I shake my head in disbelief. “Did it make you feel better? To spy on me? To replace the article I wrote? Did any of it make you feel better about yourself?”
“In fact,” Travis says, relaxing back into his chair, “it did. How does your boy toy feel now? Not so powerful, I assume?” The smile that forms on his face makes me nauseous. “I swear, all that time I spent googling him paid off and it came in very handy when I realized I could use it for your piece. If you only knew how many articles I read in Russian, how many Facebook and VK groups I scoured for inside information. Did you know they have a Russian version of Facebook? It was created by—”
“I don’t care!” I yell, shutting him up. “What you did is horrible! Didn’t you see what kind of life he had? His twin died and—”
“People die every day, Nevaeh. I don’t see you crying about any of them.”
I ball my fists, glaring at him. I’m not a violent person, but I swear I want to strangle him. “I broke your heart. I left you. It had nothing to do with Roman. Why are you targeting him?”
“It had everything to do with him,” Travis seethes. “I read your article, Nevaeh. You wrote about your feelings for him. About how you were crushing on him even when you were with me.” He slams his hand on the table. “I loved you. I wanted to marry you, and you left me the moment you found the ring.”
“Because I didn’t love you, and I thought it was more honest to leave you then instead of continuing to lead you on.”
Travis jerks back in his seat; his upper lip curls into a sneer. “What do you even see in him?”
“Everything you don’t,” I state, my cheeks heating up. “Roman is loyal, caring, and kind, and you ripped him apart with that article. You have no idea what it means to live with the guilt he’s carrying. How hard it is for him to open up. And you made him believe that I betrayed him.”
“Did he leave you?”
“He did.”
Travis smirks. “Good. Now you know how it feels to have your heart broken. I hope you like it.”
His last words hang in the air, and the atmosphere in the room becomes heavier. On my way to his office, I googled what I can do to punish him, and apparently, there’s not much. I can’t press charges. He didn’t hack my email or steal my identity. I gave him access to my email, albeit unknowingly, so it’s my fault he even had the opportunity to do this. I could try to sue him for emotional distress, but that would mean putting myself and Roman in the spotlight. And I don’t think I want that.
I stand up, keeping my eyes trained on Travis. “I felt terrible about how I broke up with you. You were nothing but good to me, but I had to break your heart because I didn’t feel the same way about you. After Roman and I got accidentally married, the only thing I worried about was you. I didn’t want you to find out, because I knew it would only make things worse. I didn’t want to hurt you more than I already had,” I say quietly and round the table, stopping next to him. “You were a good guy, Travis. A good guy with his heart in the right place…but not anymore. To be so cruel? So vindictive toward someone who didn’t do anything to you? Who you knew suffered from unimaginable pain? Good people don’t do things like that.”
Travis looks up, meeting my gaze and licking his bottom lip. “I didn’t think about what it would be like for him. What it would be like to have everyone know about his past. I just wanted to hurt you for hurting me,” he says with conviction, and I don’t see a single sign of regret on his face. His eyebrows are pierced together, the corners of his mouth dropped.
“Well, now you have to live with what you’ve done, Travis.”
I turn around and pad out of the conference room, down the hallway and straight to the elevators. Wasting even one more minute of my time on my ex-boyfriend seems pointless. I have way more important things to do.
Me:
I know you’re angry with me, and that I’m the last person on the planet you want to see, but I really need to talk to you. That wasn’t my article you read. I would never betray you like that. I swear, Roman.
I hit send, and then I type another one.
Me:
I know what happened, and I can explain everything. Please, come home, Roman. Come back to me.