Bottom At Heart

Heart woke slowly, smiling to himself. He stretched, wincing a little at the soreness. But it was the good kind of sore. The kind that came after a great night. Rolling over, he saw that Clar was still asleep. He reached out, tracing Clar’s jawline gently. He looked down, and saw the Band-aid on Clar’s chest, and he felt his lips curve in a self-satisfied smile. He shifted closer, and ran a nail along the edge of the Band-aid, tracing the shape. Mate. His Mate.

Heart frowned a little. Yesterday had been the best and the worst day of his life. He had always expected for someone from back then to find him. Probably on some subconscious level, he had dared them to, by becoming so famous. It was like he was trying to prove to himself that he was something, that he wasn’t an abomination. That he could become famous, adored, beloved, in spite of what he was.

He sat up, careful not to disturb Clar. He sat with his arms loosely draped over his knees, staring pensively at the wall. He’d grown up being told that male Omegas were disgusting flukes in the Rank system. And Ae hadn’t been the only male Omega who’d been lynched. Heart had heard stories of it happening from other towns. That was part of the reason why he’d left.

When Floris had found him, he had wanted to die. Had wanted to die for several years after that. Until one day, a Beta had approached him, called him beautiful. Asked him to try auditioning for an entertainment company. That’s how it had begun. That was the first time he’d seen himself as someone who had worth. As long as he was in front of a camera, he meant something, both to others and to himself.

But now? Would his fans finding out that he was an Omega, would that make things worse? Would they be angry that he lied, be disgusted that they had supported him? What if by coming out, he made it more dangerous for male Omegas? What if this furthered the negative views and put other Omegas in danger?

But he couldn’t go on living like this, in fear, waiting for someone to recognize him, someone to out him. He didn’t want to lose the last bit of control he had by having some malicious bigot take away his autonomy to choose to come out as an Omega. And he was famous. At the same time that he might make it dangerous, he could also function as a role model to other male Omegas. Show them that they can be beautiful, desirable, incredible.

Heart laughed bitterly to himself. How he wished he had someone to look up to when he was young. To see someone like him portrayed as anything other than the butt of a joke. To see someone like him be admired, loved. That was another reason he had started all of this. To show that there was more to him than just his Rank.

He heard Clar shifting, and he looked over his shoulder. He smiled softly, laying back down. He reached out again, touching Clar’s face softly. Since he was being honest with himself, before meeting Clar, he’d never imagine even entertaining the idea of going public. But Clar, who arguably was peak Alpha male with his rippling muscles and thick, heady scent and his commanding presence, loved him. Him, Heart, a tiny little Omega. That in itself was amazing.

Heart traced his fingers back down to the Band-aid, which mirrored the Band-aid on his neck. Mates. Mates loved each other. Protected each other. Clar would protect him. And even if the world turned against him, Clar would be there, holding his hand.

As if awoken by the intensity of Heart’s thoughts, Clar shifted, and reached up, grasping Heart’s hand loosely, holding his hand to his chest. “Morning,” he murmured without opening his eyes.

Heart snuggled closer, pressing a soft kiss to Clar’s jaw. “Morning. How did you sleep?” He asked softly, nuzzling Clar’s neck.

He smiled as he felt Clar scoop him up and onto his chest as Clar rolled onto his back. “Very well, my Heart. You? Are you okay?” Clar leaned up, kissing Heart’s cheek, his hand running gently over Heart’s ass.

Heart shifted his legs a little, and ducked his head back down into Clar’s neck. “I’m fine.” He replied, smiling against Clar’s neck.

They lay like that for a while, just holding each other. Heart nearly fell back to sleep as Clar stroked his spine. A chirp on his phone notification jolted him back awake. He leaned back, looking down at Clar’s face. Clar looked back at him, sleepy affection making Heart melt against his lover’s chest. He exhaled slowly, nodding to himself. “I want to do it. I want to go public.”

Clar frowned, smoothing back his hair. “Are you sure? This is a big decision.”

Heart nodded, sitting up. “No. I need to do this. And besides,” he looked down at Clar, caressing his face, the stress melting back out of his shoulders, “I have you. No matter what happens, you’ll be with me.”

Clar trapped Heart’s hand against his cheek. “Always. I’ll support whatever decision you make. How can I help?”

Heart rolled out of bed. “First, I need to go back to my apartment. Then I need to call a meeting with Tracey and Dylan. Then I need to have a panic attack,” he joked, pulling on one of Clar’s shirts. He gave the room a quick sweep for his underwear. He didn’t see it so he just shrugged, and stepped into his jeans anyway.

“Heart, please. I’m not going to let you leave my apartment knowing that you’re not wearing any underwear.” Clar grumbled, rubbing the back of his head as he pulled sweats over his briefs.

Heart stuck his tongue out. “And whose fault is it that I can’t find my underwear?” He shot back.

Clar laughed, pulling on a t-shirt. “I may have played a part, but it’s not entirely my fault.”

Heart fastened the button on the jeans. “Details, details.” He waved a hand, dismissing his culpability. He grabbed his phone, and watched as Clar slid his feet into sneakers. “Ready?”

“Yup. Heart.” Heart looked over to where Clar was standing. He raised a brow as Clar frowned, as if sorting his throats.

“What is it?” Heart prompted.

Clar looked up. “Coming out, or not, I love you and support you. Don’t do anything you don’t want to do. Don’t be doing this because of that thing. Do it for you.” He said seriously.

Heart rubbed the back of his head. “At first, I wanted to because I wanted to get ahead of this, and to stop it from happening ever again.” He admitted. He exhaled, laughing a little. “But honestly? I want to do this for me, past me, who had no one to look up to. Had no one to tell him that he wasn’t a disgusting freak, but someone who could be beautiful, admired. I’m doing it for other male Omegas. They need me, Clar. You understand?” He looked at Clar, his gaze pleading for Clar to understand.

Clar nodded slowly. “I think you’re very brave, my Heart,” he said softly. Heart took a sharp breath, trying to shove the tears back. He’d let himself cry after. If he started crying now, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop.

Clar smiled at him, and opened his arms. “Let’s go, my love.”

Heart smiled, and ran and jumped into the warm embrace of Clar. Clar laughed, kissing Heart’s hair.

Three hours later, Heart was showered, dressed, well kissed, and in front of Wicked Entertainment. He’d texted Tracey that he was coming in and needed to talk to her and Dylan. He took a deep breath and exhaled it, before squaring his shoulders and striding into Wicked Entertainment like he had every other day for the last five years.

He smiled at the receptionists, waved hello at other models and actors and managers. The whole time, his heart was thudding in his throat. These were people he’d worked with for years. Some were even his friends. Would they hate him?

As Heart pressed the elevator button, he felt a hand close on his shoulder. The warmth of Floris’s scent wrapped around him like a blanket. He looked up at his best friend. Floris looked down at him with a smile. “You didn’t think I wouldn’t be here, did you?” He asked softly.

Heart reached up, taking Floris’s hand, holding it tightly as the elevator arrived. “I knew you’d be here. I never doubted it a second,” he replied, stepping into the elevator.

It was empty aside from them, and Heart closed his eyes, letting Floris’s calming scent sooth his nerves. Suddenly, he got a whiff of a very familiar scent. He opened his eyes, looking down at the hand tucked in Floris’s. “Why was Quinn sucking on your wrist?” He asked, shooting Floris an impish look.

To his credit, Floris didn’t blush, but his ears turned a faint pink. “He didn’t suck on my wrists. And he got mad that I said he smelled like crackers and Tide Pods.”

Heart cackled at that, combined with Floris’s pouting expression. “Who wouldn’t? Jesus, Floris. You’re much better flirt than that!”

“I wasn’t flirting with him!” Floris replied, sounding horrified.

Heart slated him a sideways glance. “Uh-huh. Sure,” he said, completely unconvinced, given how red Floris’s ears were now.

Before Floris could respond, the elevator door opened and Tracey was there, arms crossed, looking incredibly concerned. “Heart, your message was entirely too cryptic. What the hell is going on?” She demanded. Her gaze zeroed in on the Band-aid on his neck, and her mouth dropped open. “Don’t tell me that you and that man are Mates now?” She demanded.

“Yes, but that’s not why I wanted to talk to you and Dylan.” Heart promised, taking hold of Tracey’s arm. “It’s related, but a bit more serious, I’m afraid.”

Tracey went pale as they walked through the halls. “How serious?”

“I might be fired.”

Tracey stopped walking. “Is it drugs? Did you get someone pregnant? Tell me this instant!” She demanded.

Heart rolled his eyes. “I will, I just don’t want to say it twice. Is Dylan here?”

“No, he told me to go ahead and figure out if your SOS was serious or just about the fact that we replaced the vending machines.”

Heart gasped. “Oh, God. You didn’t. How could you!” He demanded, utterly distracted.

Tracey glared at him, yanking a conference room door open. “Focus please. I swear I’m going grey early because of you.” She dropped into a seat, and leaned forward, gaze intent on Heart. “Now. What is this about?”

Heart took a deep breath, his stomach twisting. He shook his head at Floris’s offer for a chair. He squared his shoulders, and looked at Tracey. “Tracey, I first want to say how thankful I am that you’ve taken care of me over the years. I couldn’t have been Heart without you. And you have made more of a difference in my life than you can know. So, thank you.” Tracey’s face was now ashen, her gaze narrowing in trepidation. Heart took another breath. “Due to recent events, I have made a decision to come clean about my Rank.” He risked a glance at Tracey, who was now frowning. He smiled at her slightly. “I’m an Omega, Tracey.” He said softly.

Tracey’s gaze widened almost to a comical degree. She sat up straighter, her mouth dropping open. “An Omega?” She asked, sitting back in her chair.

Heart nodded. “When I was thirteen, my older brother was lynched. I fled to the city, where I met Floris. Ever since, I’ve lived under one guise or another. But yesterday, someone who knew me back then came to me and asked for money.” Heart balled his hands into fists. “I refused, but I don’t think it will stop at him. I am famous. It’s only a matter of time before my Rank is leaked to the media. So, I want to be the one to say it, and more than that, I want to show other Omegas that we aren’t disgraceful or disgusting,” Heart’s voice broke, and he felt Floris’s hand on his back. Tracey’s gaze softened, her lips turning down. Heart reached up, pressing the heel of his hand against his cheek. “I want to show them that Omegas can be like me, admired, beautiful, and worth more than just their Rank.”

Tracey stood, and Heart tensed himself. He had no idea if he was about to be fired or what. He held his breath at Tracey came closer. Then she threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly. “Heart. Oh, Heart. I had no idea.” She whispered, her grip vice like.

Just as Heart was on the verge of losing consciousness from lack of air, she pulled away. She cupped his face. “We can do this. The company owes you so much of its success. And people need you.” She broke off, biting her lip, her eyes shining. “My nephew, he needs this, too,” she said softly.

Heart’s gaze widened, and felt the lump in his throat grow as his eyes stung. “Thank you, Tracey,” he whispered as he hugged her again.

She gave him a final squeeze, and stepped away, exhaling sharply. “Okay. So. We need to call a press conference. And we need to set up better cyber security. Because not everyone is going to be happy about this. But we got this.” She reached out, squeezing his hand. Fierce determination entered her eyes, turning them a light gold. “I’ll make sure the company backs your plays, Heart. We will protect you. I will protect you.” She promised, and Heart nearly lost the battle with himself and cried.

“Thank you. And maybe we can work in the fact that Clar is my Mate?”

Tracey barked a laugh, shaking her head. “Honestly, you come out as an Omega might be less shocking than when you “turned Clarence McKinnley II’s son gay,” as the tabloids said. I wouldn’t be surprised if your whirlwind romance doesn’t overshadow your announcement.”

Heart laughed, shaking his head. “We should be so lucky.”

Tracey smiled again, reaching a hand out to give his arm a squeeze. “Take some time off. You deserve it. I’ll call you when I’ve set everything up.”

Heart smiled and nodded. “Okay, sounds good.”

He bid Tracey goodbye and went out, Floris on his heels. In the elevator, he stood there, his body still a little numb. “She’s okay with it, Floris,” he said softly, the elevator buttons hazy.

Floris’s reached out, taking his hand again. “Of course she is. It’s going to be okay, Heart. I’ll make sure of it.”

Heart nodded and stepped out of the elevator. He crossed the bustling lobby and stood just outside. A shout drew his attention, and a grin grew on his face as he saw Clar leaning against a car, Quinn on the driver side, leaning on the car roof. He waved at Clar, who lifted a hand, his face bright with a smile. There was a tug in Heart’s chest, pulling him forward. He took two steps, then broke into a run. Clar’s arms went around him, lifting him up, spinning him around, before holding his close. “I’m proud of you, my Heart,” Clar murmured in his ear.

Heart closed his eyes, basking in Clar’s warmth. “Let’s go home,” he whispered.

He was set back on his feet, and Clar moved to open the door for him. As he ducked to get into the car, he glanced back at Wicked Entertainment, then up at the summer blue sky. He’d done it. He was taking control of his destiny.