Bonds of Cupidity (Heart Hassle Book 2)

“Stop squirming or I’m going to screw up the mating rituals before they can begin,” Evert hisses into my ear.

I immediately stop wriggling against Evert’s body. “Sorry. I can’t sleep.”

I’ve been lying in bed with Evert for nearly three hours, my mind too wired to even think about sleeping.

“We gave her too much sugar,” Ronak says in the darkness.

“I think it was that last tart. How many did she have?” Sylred replies.

“Three,” Evert answers.

“No, I think it was four,” Ronak argues.

Evert considers this. “Huh. Yeah, maybe.”

I elbow him, making an “oof” sound escape. “Stop talking about me.”

“Then go to sleep.”

I huff, wriggling against him again. “I can’t,” I whine. “I’m worried about Okot.”

Evert uses his thighs to trap my fidgety legs between his. He wraps his arms tighter around me so that my arms can’t move, either. “The fucking lamassu will be fine.”

“His name isn’t ‘fucking lamassu’, you know. You can just say his name.”

I feel Evert shrug. “I like my way better.”

For the hundredth time, I close my eyes and try to fall asleep. Exhaustion hangs over my eyes like a mask, but I can’t give in to it. I want to roll over, but Evert has me essentially trapped, so I move my hips instead. I hear him groan and then I’m suddenly being propelled up from the bed, making a surprised yelp come out of me.

“I fucking can’t handle it anymore,” I feel him carrying me across the room in three long strides. “You try sleeping with her writhing all up next to you. It’s fucking torture.” He drops me, and I land with a bounce in someone else’s bed.

“Hey!”

My head lands on a solid arm of muscle and another one moves to circle my waist.

I stiffen.

Ronak.

He feels my reaction and pauses. The two of us freeze, because he’s never held me intimately. Other than when he grabbed my chin, he’s never really touched me at all.

He clears his throat, a sound way too loud in the quiet room. “Would you prefer to lay with Sylred?”

I hear Evert’s retreating steps falter, and then Sylred shifts in his own bed as they witness this awkward exchange.

“No, I just…”

How can I explain that part of me wants to jump away from him while another wants to burrow closer?

Held hostage in the uncomfortable moment, Evert throws a pillow at Sylred. “Come on, asshole. I’m thirsty.”

Sylred groans, but makes no other complaint as he gets up from bed and trudges out of the room with Evert. When they close the door after them, Ronak and I are left alone. I’ve never been alone with him before. There seems to be so much between us that I don’t know what to say. I hate that my reaction to his touch was to panic. I wish I could turn the clock back and fix it.

I blow a piece of hair away from my face. “I made it weird.”

My honest confession makes him bark out a laugh, but he also moves his arm away from my waist and sets it on his chest. The only part where we’re still touching is my head using his other arm as a pillow. I hate that I’m forcing more distance between us.

“No, it’s my fault for being an ass to you from the start. I can’t expect you to just move on from that.”

I bite my nail nervously. “I guess I’m still…I don’t know. I’m not sure you really want me.” My voice sounds tiny and vulnerable even to my own ears.

He sighs, but not in anger or frustration. We lay next to each other in silence. It sucks. It’s heavy and constricting and all I want to do is make this awkwardness between us go away. But then again, we can’t continue to ignore it. If we’re going to really do this mate thing, we need to clear the air.

“I was twelve when I first met Sylred and Evert,’ he says, his voice making me relax slightly. “They were younger than me. I’d been at the island for two years already, waiting to find the covey-brothers I would bond with. It was considered a long time to wait. Most coveys form within a few months. They’re formed organically upon introductions. It’s something that snaps into place as soon as you meet. For two years, I’d been meeting different kids, but none of them were for my covey. So I waited. I trained. I was homesick as hell. I kept feeling like I’d failed before I’d even begun. I couldn’t do the one thing that was supposed to come easily. The other kids were ruthless about it. I was the alpha without a covey. A joke.”

He snorts bitterly, and I can picture him, just a boy, hating his failure. “You must have been upset. Lonely.”

“I was,” he admits. “But then Sylred came along and Evert not long after. They were good genfins to form a covey with. Not of noble blood, but noble in other ways that counted. I had a feeling I’d be alpha, but I didn’t expect the crushing expectations that came with it. Our covey raised in ranks quickly. We were naturally talented fighters together, and our covey magic came easily to us. Other young coveys that formed years before us didn’t share the same harmony that ours did. I was proud. I felt that our success was because of me. Because I’d willed it.”

Entranced by his words, I turn to face him, tucking my hands under my head so I can look at his dark silhouette.

“And then we graduated from our training. It was time to submit our request to our elders to find a mate. Delsheen was my only choice.”

Just hearing her name makes my nose wrinkle in aversion. “Why? I know genfin females are rare, but there had to have been others that were nicer. She’s awful.”

He shrugs a shoulder. “She was noble. Came from a great genfin house. Rich. Beautiful. And yes, I chose her for her title. I knew that I could catapult our already illustrious covey into even higher status by mating with her. I overlooked her many faults. She was cruel, greedy, and disloyal, among other things, but I didn’t let myself see it. I didn’t listen to Evert when he tried to warn me. I convinced myself that she was the best. I fooled myself into loving her when she never loved anyone other than herself. And it was because I was still trying to make up for being the joke alpha without a covey when I was a kid.”

His voice is hoarse, but he continues staring straight up at the ceiling, and even in the dark, I can see his jaw flex.

“When I found her with the prince on the eve of our final mating ceremony, I lost it. I was suddenly ten years old again, without a covey, totally alone. I was the alpha kid who couldn’t form a bond. This time, a mate bond. For all the pride that I tried to hold onto, it had failed me. Blinded me. Add that with the betrayal I felt…and that’s why I snapped.

“I attacked the prince of the realm and my would-be mate, and I didn’t care. I wanted to kill them. I would have, if the prince hadn’t stopped me with his magic. When they banished us, I knew I had broken my covey. I knew Evert hated me, that Sylred was disappointed in me. But it was nothing to how I felt about myself.”

“It wasn’t your fault she was a backstabbing bitch.”

He shakes his head. “I was a prideful bastard. I knew I didn’t deserve my covey’s forgiveness, so I didn’t ask for it. I withdrew. I wanted Evert to hate me. I wanted to keep disappointing Sylred. Because I deserved it.”

That admission makes me want to cry. I know that nothing I say will get through to him, though. Only actions. With only a little bit of hesitation, I move my head to lay on his chest instead and wrap my arm around his middle. I feel him stiffen slightly, but then his arm comes up to rest on my back.

“It was a long five years of self-loathing. Evert barely spoke to me. Sylred was always stuck in the middle when we blew up at each other. Our once strong covey was broken. And then a little red-winged demon landed on our island.”

I smile against his chest. “You shot me with an arrow.”

I hear his own smile crack through. “Always with the arrow.”

“It’s important to correctly depict history.”

“I’m still not convinced you’re not a demon.”

I laugh and pinch him, but his skin is so taut against his muscular chest that I barely get a grip.

“You were like this wild wind that threatened to toss me on my ass. I didn’t know what your angle was. I was so hardened by that point, I couldn’t even see you.”

I swallow the thick lump in my throat. “And now?”

“And now I see that you’re not Delsheen, and I’m not the same genfin I was,” he admits. “I don’t have to keep proving myself or my covey. It took a crazy ass demon to make me see that.”

I pick my head up and balance my chin on his chest. He turns his face to look at me, and we study each other in the darkness.

“I’m still an asshole, but I’m yours if you’ll have me. And if you won’t, then…I’ll leave my covey in your capable hands.”

My mouth opens in shock. I never expected Ronak to talk to me like this, and I never in a million years imagined that he’d willingly step aside if I told him I didn’t want him. I can tell by the frantic pace of his heart how nervous he is, even if he’d never otherwise show it. His power is strength, after all. He doesn’t like to show weakness.

I lightly trace the exposed part of his collarbone that is visible above his shirt. “Thank you for telling me.” His skin jumps under my touch. “I don’t want us to start over, but I want us to move on. As mates. Okay?”

He nods slowly, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips. “Okay.”

Since he bared so much of himself to me, I want to repay the favor. “I know I joke around a lot, but I want you to know that I am completely serious when it comes to how I feel about you all,” I tell him. “When I came to this realm for the first time, you were the first fae I saw. And when I saw you…I don’t know, it was like I was drawn to you or something. Like it was always going to be you I saw first. I just knew that you would protect me. That if I could just get to you somehow, that it would be okay,” I tell him. Then I smile mischievously. “Then you shot me with an arrow and turned out to be a total asshole. So I guess I was wrong on that front.”

His hand that has been on my back suddenly moves and his fingers start digging into my side, tickling me relentlessly. I squeal and kick, trying to get him away, but of course, it doesn’t work because he’s freaking strong.

He continues his assault against me, no matter how much I try to get away. My laughter is so loud that Evert and Sylred come running back in, only to find me hysterical, half on the bed and half hanging off. Ronak shows me mercy and stops, and I flop to the floor, still trying to contain my laughter.

“You. Freaking. Bastard,” I pant.

“I take it you two have kissed and made up?” Evert asks.

Sylred lights the lantern so that we’re no longer bathed in darkness, and I relax on the floor, propping my back up against the bed. “There was no kissing, but that’s part of Not-First’s punishment for the arrow incident.”

“Don’t make me tickle you again.”

I launch to my feet and dart around Sylred, hiding behind him. Ronak lifts a sardonic brow. “Really? You think he’ll protect you from me?”

Evert tuts. “Bad choice, Scratch. If anything, Syl will just step aside so that you two can ‘work it out.’ Believe me, I know. Asshole thinks he’s the great and mighty peacekeeper.”

“Shut up,” Sylred says, rolling his eyes at Evert.

“Wait,” I say, remembering their conversation in the carriage. “There’s still a chance your alpha animal guy will reject me, and then this will all be for nothing, right?”

They exchange a look. “Well…”

“Then let’s do this.” I clap my hands and rub them together, hopping from one foot to the other. “Bring him out, Ronak. I got this. I’m gonna charm the hell out of your animal. You’re animal is gonna think I’m kickass. He’ll be like, ‘Delsheen who?’”

Ronak laughs and rolls his eyes, but even I can see that he’s nervous. Worried. Because there’s a chance his animal side will reject me. Which would…really suck.

“Come on,” I urge. “Do it! Do I need to, like, hit you or something?”

Ronak frowns. “What? Why would you need to hit me?”

“Like threaten your life? Is that how it works to make you flip your switch? Is it a Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde thing? Or are there some magic words to make him come out and play?”

Ronak rubs a hand down his face. “No. Don’t do any of that. I’ll just call him to come out.”

I drop my arms. “Well that’s anti-climactic. I would’ve rather had to hit you.”

He sighs and closes his eyes, but when he blinks them open again, they’re pure gold and shining. They move around the room, taking in the scene. His back is hunched slightly, as if he’s suddenly poised to pounce.

“Hey, kitty cat, remember me?” I croon. “It’s your friendly neighborhood cupid.” I say as I take a step closer to him.

He zeroes in on me and growls. I freeze in my tracks. Welp. This isn’t going as planned. The genfin starts to circle around me, sniffing the air.

Speaking through unmoving lips, I say, “What do I do?”

“Just keep talking to him,” Sylred suggests.

“Right. Keep talking. I can do that. I’m super good at that,” I say. “So. Umm, alpha genfin beast guy? I’m Emelle. Nice to meet you. I don’t think we met properly before. I really like what you did with the beasts trying to eat me alive. It was some of your best work. It was very alpha-ish and impressive. Lots of…blood and breaking bones. Really, top-notch animal stuff.”

His animal stops behind me, so close that I can feel the heat coming off of his chest.

“And the whole growly thing you did at Delsheen? Classic. I’d love an encore of that. She looked like she was about to pee her pants. Or her gown. Whatever.”

He leans in close to my neck and growls low against my ear. Flashing my eyes up, I see that Evert and Sylred look worried. Shit.

“Umm…so yeah, anyway…I was thinking, maybe you could choose me as a mate instead? I’m, like, super fun. Way more fun than Delsheen. And my wings are better, am I right?” I ask with a nervous laugh.

“Plus, I’m sure I’m good at sex. At least, I think I am. Probably. Maybe I should have Okot take a survey? He seemed to enjoy it, but maybe he was faking? Wait, do guys fake it? I thought that was just a female thing, but I could be totally wrong. Which would be embarrassing given my profession. Anyway, point is, I’m sure we’ll have lots of awesome cupid covey sex.”

His animal circles around to my front and stares down at me. A low grumbling sound in his chest makes my heart race in fear.

“Guys!” I hiss. “What do I do? Nothing’s working. I think he’s about to eat me!”

“Ronak. Come back out,” Sylred says firmly.

“Wait,” Evert says. “Look.”

Suddenly, I feel something wrapping around me. I don’t dare move, even as it slithers around my waist and pulls me toward him. I look down. His tail. It’s his tail. The tail he wouldn’t let Delsheen even touch.

He pulls me forward again and once I’m flush against his chest, he starts to purr. If he weren’t holding me up, I’d collapse in relief. His purr suddenly cuts off, his tail falls away, and when I look up at his face, Ronak is back.

I blow out a shaky breath. “See?” I say with forced confidence. “Totally hit it off. Never had any doubt.”

Ronak raises an amused brow, but I can see the relief in his face, too.

“Well, fuck me. Had me worried there for a second,” Evert confesses.

Sylred whistles low. “Glad that’s over.”

Ronak nods. “My animal is…aggressive. Sorry if he scared you.”

I pretend like my heart isn’t trying to beat out of my chest and run away. “Psh. Please. I don’t scare easy. Besides, your animal totally digs me.”

“He wrapped his tail around you like a boa constrictor,” Evert points out. “He definitely digs you.”

I perk up at that. “Really? What did he do to Delsheen?”

Ronak frowns as if remembering. “Barely let her hold onto the end. He never initiated touch before.”

I practically preen.

Evert groans “Don’t tell her all that. She’s all smug and shit now.”

Sylred ignores him. “Emelle, do you want to try to get some sleep?”

I shake my head. “Are you kidding? I can’t sleep now. Ronak’s alpha animal just totally boa-constrictored me.”

Evert makes a face. “Don’t ever say that again.”

I shrug.

“I guess we might as well get ready to leave now. It’s not like any of us are getting any sleep tonight.”

A sudden knock on our door jolts all of us. Our heads whip toward the offending sound, and panic grips me. We were too loud. Someone heard. Someone saw. The guards have come for me.

I hear Evert curse under his breath. “Fuck.”

My thoughts exactly.