Blake (Blue Halo Book 3)

Blake stroked Willow’s back. She lay half on top of him, her head resting on his chest. The sun was only just poking through the blinds, but he’d been up for a while. Listening to the steady beat of her heart. Feeling the soft rise and fall of her chest.

How long had he craved to wake up like this, tortured by the possibility that it might never happen again?

Every day for nearly three long years.

She was his. She’d said the words herself.

I’ve always been yours, Blake.

He’d known it. But hearing the words out loud, having her give herself to him so freely, hit differently.

He hadn’t been good enough to her last time. Yes, his work had demanded a lot of him. Yes, he’d had little control over his own time. But he’d had three years to reflect on the fact that he hadn’t even tried to get time off. And even when he had been there, he wasn’t always available for her emotionally. Not at the end.

There was a light shift in Willow’s breathing. A small grazing of her fingers on his chest.

His stroking of her back stilled, and his chest tightened.

The only time he ever let fear touch him was when it came to his family. And right now, he could feel it creeping up his spine, tingling over his skin. Fear that she’d wake, and the new day would shatter the promises of last night.

He knew the exact moment she realized he lay beneath her. There was a tightening of her muscles. Her breaths stopped brushing against his chest. When she raised her head, a myriad of emotions washed through her expressive eyes, and he caught every one of them.

Uncertainty. Recollection. Surprise. And then…contentment?

“Morning.” She almost sounded shy.

His lips stretched into a wide smile. “Morning, honey.”

Her cheeks tinged pink, and she dipped her head back to his chest, resting her cheek against him once again.

Hiding?

She swallowed loudly. “Is Mila—”

“Asleep? Yeah, I’ll let you know if I hear her get up.”

Her body melted against him. She started drawing small circles on his abdomen. His stomach muscles tried to tense, but he forced them to relax.

She used to do that often. During their lazy mornings lying in bed, her fingers would roam across his stomach. Explore his skin with soft grazes. And just like every other time, it had his skin burning.

“How are you feeling?” he asked gruffly.

“Good.”

Even though she couldn’t see him, he lifted a brow. “Just good?”

Her soft chuckle filtered through the room. “Okay, better than good.”

At the small sound of a phone vibrating, she turned away from him, climbing to her feet and grabbing her purse from the floor. She took something from inside, popping it into her mouth.

“The pill,” she said as she slid back into bed, resting her head against his shoulder.

He remembered her going on the pill shortly after Mila was born. She hadn’t been on it before getting pregnant, and they hadn’t been too careful, either. Often, they’d been too desperate for each other to wait.

That’s why Mila had been a shock, but at the same time, she hadn’t.

A part of him was surprised Willow had been taking the pill while he was gone. But then another part of him wasn’t. Not after what had happened to her hormones after giving birth. It probably just added that extra feeling of security.

Her hand returned to his stomach, drawing more circles. “Will you tell me what it was like in the Project Arma compound?”

His jaw ticked, a huge part of him rebelling against the request. He didn’t like to think about his time there away from his family, much less talk about it.

He shifted his hand, fingers spanning her hip. “We weren’t beaten or abused. They used threats against our loved ones to keep us in line.” He swallowed the bile that rose in his throat at the memory of the threats against Willow and Mila. “We were fed well. The house was huge and the property sat on extensive land. If it wasn’t for the electrical fencing keeping us in, I’m sure most people could forget they were hostages.”

“But you didn’t.” It wasn’t a question.

“To me, it was a hell worse than any prison. Because I didn’t get to see you or Mila for over two years. I didn’t get to hear your voices. I was told you were both safe, but all I had was their word. And even if you were safe from them, I didn’t know if you were okay.”

He felt the slight tensing of her muscles. “I sought help the second you were declared missing,” she said quietly. “I wanted to lock myself away in a dark room, roll into a ball and let the depression swallow me whole. But I knew I couldn’t. I knew that Mila needed me more than ever.”

God, the woman was strong. But then, she’d had to be.

“You did good, baby. I will forever be grateful that you were able to give our daughter the love and support she needed when I couldn’t.”

Her fingers were now tracing the ridges of muscle on his stomach, leaving a trail of awareness in their wake. “I missed you.”

His chest burned at her words. Mila had said the same ones last night. “You have no idea. I missed so much about you, Willow.”

“Really? Hm, what did you miss? The way I’d scold you for leaving your dirty cups on the coffee table?”

She was joking, but he didn’t laugh. “I missed the way your eyes pinch in the corners when you smile. The way we used to stay up all night whispering to each other about anything and everything. And yeah, I even missed the way you used to get on my ass for leaving my shit everywhere.”

She laughed. And his heart clenched. Again, he couldn’t even crack a smile.

“And your laugh…Christ, I missed it so much. I heard it in my sleep every goddamn night. It both kept me sane and drove me crazy.”

Her hand paused, her breathing pattern shifting.

“I know there wasn’t much laughter in those last couple years,” he continued. “But I swear I will work to make you laugh and smile every day for the rest of our lives.”

She sat up a bit, palms pressed to his chest. “Please don’t apologize. I think I was so deep in the thick of…everything, that I didn’t see what I should have.”

He frowned. “What’s that?”

“That you were struggling, too. You were struggling with the demands of work and home. Struggling with the new role you were thrust into.” She inhaled deeply. “You may not have been clinically depressed, but no one can prepare you for parenthood. And having no support made it so much harder for us.”

He stroked the side of her face. “I still should have been stronger for you. I will be stronger in the future.” He’d hold the entire goddamn house on his shoulders if she needed him to. “And I hate that you had no one else.”

Both of them had absentee parents who never gave a shit. She was an only child. He had a brother who he’d never been close to. A brother who’d left home at eighteen without a backward glance.

Her eyes darted between his, her voice lowering. “I’m sorry it took me so long to get here. I kept telling myself that it was easier for us to remain apart. That we were just a moment in time.”

His gut clenched.

“I thought that if I let you back in, I was leaving myself vulnerable for us to fail. And for that to destroy a huge part of me again.”

His hand tightened on her cheek. “We’re so much more than a moment.” They were a collection of every moment rolled together. A continuation of forever. “And we won’t be failing.”

“I know.” She opened her mouth to say something else, but suddenly the color left her face.

Blake frowned. Was it a headache? A migraine? She hadn’t been in pain a moment ago. “What’s wrong?”

Suddenly, she was on her feet, running to the connected bathroom.

Blake threw the sheet off and trailed closely behind her, cursing under his breath when Willow dropped to her knees, throwing up in the toilet.

He lowered to his haunches behind her, lifting her hair off her back to keep it out of the way.

When she was done, she leaned back, eyes shuttering closed.

Blake rose to grab a wet cloth before quickly dropping down again. “The alcohol?”

The woman had always been sensitive to the stuff, especially sweet drinks. He still remembered when they’d gone to a bar together for the first time. A few short hours later, she’d been sick.

She nodded. “I knew I shouldn’t have drunk whatever it was Grace made. It tasted like a cup of sugar.”

He pushed some hair off her cheek. “Are you okay?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

A second later, something sounded from down the hall. Mila was awake.

“E.”

Willow held Mila’s small hand tightly as they walked down the street. They were playing a game of Name, Place, Animal, and Thing—Mila’s favorite—while walking from school to The Grind. It would have been a lot faster to drive, but after spending an entire day at her computer, Willow craved the fresh air and exercise.

Mila’s brows tugged together. “E…Elsa.” Willow almost laughed. Should have seen that one coming. “England. Elephant and…egg.”

“Good job, baby.”

Mila beamed. “Your turn. I choose…B.”

“Hm. Blake.” Mila giggled. “Barcelona, bear, and blackberry.”

“Those were good ones, Mama.”

Ah, she could always count on her daughter for a little ego boost.

“Are we gonna move in with Daddy now?”

Mila’s sudden random question had Willow’s eyes widening. “Ah, not at the moment.”

Willow barely had time to throw on a T-shirt before Mila had run into the room earlier that morning. The kid hadn’t stopped talking about the fact that Mom had slept at Daddy’s house, in Daddy’s room.

Usually, if anyone slept anywhere, it was Blake at Willow’s place, on the couch with a pillow and blanket.

Mila had gone on about it all morning, right up until school drop-off.

“Will you sleep at Daddy’s again?”

Hadn’t she answered that question? “I’m not sure.”

To be honest, she had no idea about anything. All she knew was that she’d decided to stop resisting him. And it felt good. So good.

Everything about last night, everything about waking up with him this morning, just felt so right. It made her wonder why her stubborn ass had resisted the guy for so long.

“I think we should all live in the same house,” Mila said firmly.

A small smile touched Willow’s lips. Because she liked that idea too. “We’ll see what happens, Mila. How was school today?”

She needed a change of subject because otherwise she was just going to get a hundred more questions that she had no answers to.

“It was great! We’re learning the letter ‘C’ this week. Mrs. McCauliff went around the class checking how everyone was holding their pencil as we wrote our letter, and she said my hold was perfect.”

Willow chuckled. “Good job.”

“I even helped Samuel with his pencil. And we practiced counting with colored counters and we went outside and played a game where we had to get into teams and steal bags from other teams’ corners. My team didn’t win but we were close.”

“There’ll always been more games to win.”

“That’s what Mrs. McCauliff said.” Then her little brows furrowed the way they always did when she was thinking really hard.

Oh, boy, please don’t let whatever she says next be about Blake.

“Before we went back in, I saw a man on the other side of the road. He was just standing by his car watching us.”

Willow stopped. Only for a second, then she quickly continued walking again. She was careful to keep her features neutral even though her insides jerked at Mila’s words. “Did you tell Mrs. McCauliff?”

“No. Because we went inside and Samuel asked if we could share our popcorn at lunch, so I forgot.”

Yet the guy’s presence had affected Mila enough to mention it now. “What did he look like?”

“Hm…he had brown hair and was smaller than Daddy. He was across the street, so I couldn’t see him too good.”

She nodded, making a mental note to pass the information on to Blake. It was probably nothing. A guy standing outside an elementary school would probably be a parent waiting for their kid. Still, she didn’t like that Mila was uncomfortable enough to feel the need to tell her.

They’d almost made it to The Grind when a man stepped around the corner from a side street, almost running straight into them. It took Willow a second to recognize him.

“Rob! What are you doing in town?”

The second the question left her lips, she felt silly. Her entire study group lived in Ketchum, for Christ’s sake, a town that was literally a few minutes’ drive away. They probably came here all the time.

“Just grabbing a meal with some friends.” He smiled down at Mila. “Hey there! My name’s Rob.”

Mila straightened. “I’m Mila. How do you know Mama?”

He chuckled softly. “We’re both studying to become teachers, so sometimes we study together. I was at your house the other night when you woke up, but you didn’t see me. I was in the living room.”

Mila nodded, seeming way too old for her age. “Do you bring snacks too?”

Willow muffled her laugh. Janet had left some snacks specifically for Mila. The Red Vines in particular were a winner.

“Nah, Janet’s the snack queen. But I can bring some next session and ask your mom to pass them on if you like?”

Mila’s eyes widened. “Yes, please!”

Even though sugar wasn’t necessarily something Willow wanted her daughter to have on a regular basis—because really, who needed a hyped-up five-year-old—she gave Rob an appreciative smile.

“Did you want to pop in and have a drink with us?” Willow offered, nodding toward The Grind. “They do really good coffee.”

“And milkshakes,” Mila added quickly.

Before Rob could respond, the door to The Grind opened, and Blake stepped out. His gaze immediately zeroed in on Rob, studying the guy.

Rob turned his head, his jaw tensing.

Oh, Lord.

Blake stepped up beside her. “Hey, everyone.”

Rob’s eyes narrowed a fraction. “Hey.” He looked back to Willow. “I’ll leave you guys to it. I’ll see you at the bar on the weekend, Willow.”

He gave her a small nod before stepping around them and heading down the street. Willow turned to Blake, temped to say something about the thick tension between the two men, but Mila was already flinging herself into his arms.

He immediately lifted her before tipping her backward, pretending to eat her belly.

Willow’s heart softened at the sound of Mila’s laugh. At the sight of pure joy on her little face.

Blake tipped her back three times before finally snaking his arm around Willow’s waist. “I got off work early. Thought I’d join you guys for a drink.”

With Blake’s arm holding her, any annoyance she’d been feeling about the tension between the men eased, and she leaned into him. “That sounds lovely.”