Chapter 31: One day…
Elsa I opened the shed door and stepped inside to find him standing with his back to me.
And he wasn't wearing a shirt.
He was doing something on the small counter, so engrossed that he didn't hear me.
I closed the door, making sure not to make any noise and walked toward him.
When I was just a few feet away and I could see him in a profile, I stopped and watched what he was doing.
My heart somersaulted inside my chest and a smile broke on my lips.
His phone was propped up against the wall and a YouTube video for how to make pasta, I assumed was playing as he stirred the
vegetables in a pan on the induction stove that he had brought here not two weeks ago, and the reason why he wasn't aware of
me was the earphones in his ears and that his attention was focused on the video.
2 I stayed there and watched him.
The way muscles in his back shifted, how the veins in his arms were visible and how handsome he looked as he cooked.
Since the last three weeks we had spent every available moment with each other, making sure that no one was aware of our
closeness.
My mother was told that I made new friends in school and I was always spending my time with them.
No one was allowed in this shed, it was exclusively Kristian's domain so no one ever ventured here and when Kristian wasn't
caring for his mother or brother he would come here and wait for me.
"Fuck!"
Kristian cursed, making me blink and focus on him.
He glared at the pan as bubbles started to form in the sauce he had poured like it was its fault.
A splash of hot sauce landed on his chest and he picked up a napkin to wipe it off muttering another curse under his breath I
walked to him and slipped my arms around him from behind.
He stiffened at first as if he thought I was someone else then he relaxed and I placed my cheek on his back.
"You are early."
He said and I heard him pressing on the buttons a few times and then the sizzling sound of the vegetables stopped, leaving
behind a strong aroma that told me some of it had burned.
"I couldn't wait any longer."
I replied and pressed a soft kiss at his smooth back, inhaling his scent in my lungs.
He stiffened at the soft kiss and turned around.
His fingers plucked my arms from around his body and he said, "Let me grab a shirt."
I shook my head.
"No.
I like you like this."
His grey eyes stared down at me and I said, "I promise, I will behave."
He didn't believe me, it was clear the way he looked at me but he sighed and raked his fingers through his hair in agitation as he
said, "I was trying to make pasta for us."
I looked behind him and replied, "I can see."
I pulled him away from the counter and pushed him on the mattress on the floor.
I said, "Why don't you sit, I'll see what I can do."
He made a face, looking adorable and said, "It's a waste.
It burned."
I stood up on my tiptoes, my hands on his arms as I kissed his lips.
Like always, his body went rigid as he let me kiss him.
It has been three weeks and he was still not letting go enough to kiss me like he really meant it.
I understood his side, but it was getting difficult for me to hold on to my own reckless affection for him.
I wanted him so much I couldn't explain it, maybe because it was my first love but also because I knew he would be my last love
too.
I pulled back and his dark eyes the only confirmation that I affected him darted away from me.
He gave a nod and turned from me.
It took me ten minutes to spoon the sauce and veggies mixture from the pan before I scraped the pan off the burned part that
was stuck to it.
Then I poured back the remaining sautéed vegetables and started the induction on low heat.
Pouring the already boiled pasta, I mixed it well and served it on a plate with two forks.
When I turned around I found him asleep with half his body reclining as if he was trying to stay upright.
I could've let him sleep without disturbing him as I knew he didn't always get a full night's sleep but I missed him and he had
made an effort for us.
So I walked to him, placed the plate on the floor then woke him up the way I knew wouldn't make him jump like the last time I had
made the mistake of callously waking him up by shaking him and ended up with his warm and strong body on top of me.
I wasn't complaining about that part but when I had met his eyes, he had looked close to murder and afterwards the guilt that
had gripped him wasn't something I wanted him to suffer with.
He was already so reluctant about our relationship because of our ages.
I hated to see him like that, fighting a battle inside his mind, every moment of the day.
3 I walked around the mattress to his other side and laid down beside him, slowly I took his hand in mine and pressed my palm
to his cheek.
His fingers tightened around mine and as he felt my soft touch on his cheek, his other hand touched the back of my hand and he
opened his eyes.
At first they were dark and hazy as if he was trying to place my touch then they cleared into a beautiful light grey and he took my
hand to press a soft kiss in the middle of my palm.
I pursed my lips and said, "You fell asleep."
He looked at me then at our joined hands, he said, "I don't know how you do it, but sometimes it feels like you're the one with all
the maturity between us and I'm just a scared little boy."
I shook my head and said, "Mama said that girls are always far more intelligent than boys ever could be.
We mature early, you know."
He just smiled and I fell in love a little more.
He was right, though... With him, I did feel like I was the one he needed the most.
With the outside world, he was a force of nature.
Cold, closed off and controlling with anger that simmered like a volcano just below the surface waiting to explode, but here with
me, he let me soothe his darkness, his invisible demons and he let me sometimes take care of him too.
We ate our pasta in silence, it was a little bit uncooked but nothing like we couldn't eat.
When we were finished, he said, "I wanted to make it for you."
1 I shrugged.
"You did.
I just helped."
I held out the water bottle to him after drinking some.
I offered it to him and waited for him to drink before capping it.
His fingers tucked a loose curl behind my ear and he cupped my face.
He said, "One day, I'm going to make it on my own and serve it to you with candles and flowers."
1 I closed my eyes as I felt a little shy.
He chuckled softly and kissed my forehead.
I opened my eyes and said, "Kiss me, Kristian."
At first I thought he wouldn't but then his lips brushed mine in a soft caress.
I didn't give him a chance to pull away as I slipped my arm around his neck and kissed him more hungrily.
"Elsa..."
He groaned.
"Mmm..."
1 shook my head, not wanting to listen to him as I erased the distance between us and climbed into his lap.
His arm clamped around my waist as his fingers grabbed the back of my neck and he pulled me back.
Breathing heavily, he leaned forward and pressed his forehead against mine.
"Little girl, you have to stop before I can't."
"And why is that a bad idea?"
I grumbled, my fingers in his dark hair, clutching him just as tightly as he was grabbing me.
"Because you're underage."
He reminded me like I would ever forget it.
He wouldn't let me! And he always said it like it was something he hated me for.
I narrowed my eyes and slapped at his chest as I said, "Didn't we just discuss how mature I'm for my age?"
His eyes flashed with affection and he hugged me to himself.
"You are such a pain in the arse, lttle girl.
I don't know if he sent you as a gift or another form of torture."
2 "You know you can easily turn it around, and it won't be torture anymore."
"Shut up."
He replied gruffly and then laid down with me in his arms.
Lying on top of him, hearing his heartbeat in my ear, I smiled to myself.
It was difficult to change his decision but I couldn't wait for my eighteenth birthday, I didn't want to.
I wanted him so much, I can't explain it and when my sixteenth birthday comes in a month or so, I will have him and he will be my
gift.
As I laid there, my fingers caressed every inch of his smooth skin, making him go tense and still beneath me but he didn't stop
me.
As my fingers trailed down his arm, a red scarred tissue had me pausing.
My index finger ran the length of the scar on his elbow, about six inches.
I asked, "What is this? How did this happen?"
He pulled my hand off his arm and brought it back to his chest.
"Kristian?"
"Someone broke my arm."
I gasped and sat up to look at his face as I asked in a whisper, afraid to know the answer.
"Deliberately?"
His dark grey eyes met mine and he replied, "Deliberately."
My stomach twisted in pain and I asked, "How old were you?"
"It was my eleventh birthday."
3 "No...."
I was horrified.
How could someone hurt a boy who was just eleven and looking at him even now sometimes he looked so lost which made me
think how he used to be when he was just eleven.
I am just fifteen and my mother protects me from my father like her life depends on it whenever he gets drunk and angry.
She always bears the brunt of his anger so it wouldn't reach me.
"Why? Who was it?"
He didn't answer as he took a deep breath and visibly let out a long exhale then smiled for me.
"You don't have to worry about me, little girl.
I'm no longer a young boy who can't protect himself."
"You shouldn't have to..."
I said as he brushed his thumb under my left eye and said, "Your tears are too precious to cry for what happened a long time
ago."
I hadn't even realized I was crying.
"They are not precious enough when it comes to you, Kristian.
I love you and for you I will cry a river if I want to."
I said with a sniff.
He smiled and lightly rubbed my bottom lip with his thumb.
"And what about what I want?"
"I will do anything you want."
"Then, promise me you won't cry."
I laughed.
"I can't make such a promise when I know I would break it at the first possibility of losing you or someone hurting you."
He closed his eyes and said, "Come here..."
I knew he wanted to hug me but I shook my head and instead leaned down to kiss his scar.
I wanted to kiss every scar on his body, even the invisible ones, but it was a line that Kristian was reluctant to cross.
no matter how much I tried.
But I promised myself one day I will break his walls and love him the way I want to Elsa I opened the shed door and stepped
inside to find him standing with his back to me.
And he wasn't wearing a shirt.
He was doing something on the small counter, so engrossed that he didn't hear me.
I closed the door, making sure not to make any noise and walked toward him.
When I was just a few feet away and I could see him in a profile, I stopped and watched what he was doing.
My heart somersaulted inside my chest and a smile broke on my lips.
His phone was propped up against the wall and a YouTube video for how to make pasta, I assumed was playing as he stirred the
vegetables in a pan on the induction stove that he had brought here not two weeks ago, and the reason why he wasn't aware of
me was the earphones in his ears and that his attention was focused on the video.
2 I stayed there and watched him.
The way muscles in his back shifted, how the veins in his arms were visible and how handsome he looked as he cooked.
Since the last three weeks we had spent every available moment with each other, making sure that no one was aware of our
closeness.
My mother was told that I made new friends in school and I was always spending my time with them.
No one was allowed in this shed, it was exclusively Kristian's domain so no one ever ventured here and when Kristian wasn't
caring for his mother or brother he would come here and wait for me.
"Fuck!"
Kristian cursed, making me blink and focus on him.
He glared at the pan as bubbles started to form in the sauce he had poured like it was its fault.
A splash of hot sauce landed on his chest and he picked up a napkin to wipe it off muttering another curse under his breath I
walked to him and slipped my arms around him from behind.
He stiffened at first as if he thought I was someone else then he relaxed and I placed my cheek on his back.
"You are early."
He said and I heard him pressing on the buttons a few times and then the sizzling sound of the vegetables stopped, leaving
behind a strong aroma that told me some of it had burned.
"I couldn't wait any longer."
I replied and pressed a soft kiss at his smooth back, inhaling his scent in my lungs.
He stiffened at the soft kiss and turned around.
His fingers plucked my arms from around his body and he said, "Let me grab a shirt."
I shook my head.
"No.
I like you like this."
His grey eyes stared down at me and I said, "I promise, I will behave."
He didn't believe me, it was clear the way he looked at me but he sighed and raked his fingers through his hair in agitation as he
said, "I was trying to make pasta for us."
I looked behind him and replied, "I can see."
I pulled him away from the counter and pushed him on the mattress on the floor.
I said, "Why don't you sit, I'll see what I can do."
He made a face, looking adorable and said, "It's a waste.
It burned."
I stood up on my tiptoes, my hands on his arms as I kissed his lips.
Like always, his body went rigid as he let me kiss him.
It has been three weeks and he was still not letting go enough to kiss me like he really meant it.
I understood his side, but it was getting difficult for me to hold on to my own reckless affection for him.
I wanted him so much I couldn't explain it, maybe because it was my first love but also because I knew he would be my last love
too.
I pulled back and his dark eyes the only confirmation that I affected him darted away from me.
He gave a nod and turned from me.
It took me ten minutes to spoon the sauce and veggies mixture from the pan before I scraped the pan off the burned part that
was stuck to it.
Then I poured back the remaining sautéed vegetables and started the induction on low heat.
Pouring the already boiled pasta, I mixed it well and served it on a plate with two forks.
When I turned around I found him asleep with half his body reclining as if he was trying to stay upright.
I could've let him sleep without disturbing him as I knew he didn't always get a full night's sleep but I missed him and he had
made an effort for us.
So I walked to him, placed the plate on the floor then woke him up the way I knew wouldn't make him jump like the last time I had
made the mistake of callously waking him up by shaking him and ended up with his warm and strong body on top of me.
I wasn't complaining about that part but when I had met his eyes, he had looked close to murder and afterwards the guilt that
had gripped him wasn't something I wanted him to suffer with.
He was already so reluctant about our relationship because of our ages.
I hated to see him like that, fighting a battle inside his mind, every moment of the day.
3 I walked around the mattress to his other side and laid down beside him, slowly I took his hand in mine and pressed my palm
to his cheek.
His fingers tightened around mine and as he felt my soft touch on his cheek, his other hand touched the back of my hand and he
opened his eyes.
At first they were dark and hazy as if he was trying to place my touch then they cleared into a beautiful light grey and he took my
hand to press a soft kiss in the middle of my palm.
I pursed my lips and said, "You fell asleep."
He looked at me then at our joined hands, he said, "I don't know how you do it, but sometimes it feels like you're the one with all
the maturity between us and I'm just a scared little boy."
I shook my head and said, "Mama said that girls are always far more intelligent than boys ever could be.
We mature early, you know."
He just smiled and I fell in love a little more.
He was right, though... With him, I did feel like I was the one he needed the most.
With the outside world, he was a force of nature.
Cold, closed off and controlling with anger that simmered like a volcano just below the surface waiting to explode, but here with
me, he let me soothe his darkness, his invisible demons and he let me sometimes take care of him too.
We ate our pasta in silence, it was a little bit uncooked but nothing like we couldn't eat.
When we were finished, he said, "I wanted to make it for you."
1 I shrugged.
"You did.
I just helped."
I held out the water bottle to him after drinking some.
I offered it to him and waited for him to drink before capping it.
His fingers tucked a loose curl behind my ear and he cupped my face.
He said, "One day, I'm going to make it on my own and serve it to you with candles and flowers."
1 I closed my eyes as I felt a little shy.
He chuckled softly and kissed my forehead.
I opened my eyes and said, "Kiss me, Kristian."
At first I thought he wouldn't but then his lips brushed mine in a soft caress.
I didn't give him a chance to pull away as I slipped my arm around his neck and kissed him more hungrily.
"Elsa..."
He groaned.
"Mmm..."
1 shook my head, not wanting to listen to him as I erased the distance between us and climbed into his lap.
His arm clamped around my waist as his fingers grabbed the back of my neck and he pulled me back.
Breathing heavily, he leaned forward and pressed his forehead against mine.
"Little girl, you have to stop before I can't."
"And why is that a bad idea?"
I grumbled, my fingers in his dark hair, clutching him just as tightly as he was grabbing me.
"Because you're underage."
He reminded me like I would ever forget it.
He wouldn't let me! And he always said it like it was something he hated me for.
I narrowed my eyes and slapped at his chest as I said, "Didn't we just discuss how mature I'm for my age?"
His eyes flashed with affection and he hugged me to himself.
"You are such a pain in the arse, lttle girl.
I don't know if he sent you as a gift or another form of torture."
2 "You know you can easily turn it around, and it won't be torture anymore."
"Shut up."
He replied gruffly and then laid down with me in his arms.
Lying on top of him, hearing his heartbeat in my ear, I smiled to myself.
It was difficult to change his decision but I couldn't wait for my eighteenth birthday, I didn't want to.
I wanted him so much, I can't explain it and when my sixteenth birthday comes in a month or so, I will have him and he will be my
gift.
As I laid there, my fingers caressed every inch of his smooth skin, making him go tense and still beneath me but he didn't stop
me.
As my fingers trailed down his arm, a red scarred tissue had me pausing.
My index finger ran the length of the scar on his elbow, about six inches.
I asked, "What is this? How did this happen?"
He pulled my hand off his arm and brought it back to his chest.
"Kristian?"
"Someone broke my arm."
I gasped and sat up to look at his face as I asked in a whisper, afraid to know the answer.
"Deliberately?"
His dark grey eyes met mine and he replied, "Deliberately."
My stomach twisted in pain and I asked, "How old were you?"
"It was my eleventh birthday."
3 "No...."
I was horrified.
How could someone hurt a boy who was just eleven and looking at him even now sometimes he looked so lost which made me
think how he used to be when he was just eleven.
I am just fifteen and my mother protects me from my father like her life depends on it whenever he gets drunk and angry.
She always bears the brunt of his anger so it wouldn't reach me.
"Why? Who was it?"
He didn't answer as he took a deep breath and visibly let out a long exhale then smiled for me.
"You don't have to worry about me, little girl.
I'm no longer a young boy who can't protect himself."
"You shouldn't have to..."
I said as he brushed his thumb under my left eye and said, "Your tears are too precious to cry for what happened a long time
ago."
I hadn't even realized I was crying.
"They are not precious enough when it comes to you, Kristian.
I love you and for you I will cry a river if I want to."
I said with a sniff.
He smiled and lightly rubbed my bottom lip with his thumb.
"And what about what I want?"
"I will do anything you want."
"Then, promise me you won't cry."
I laughed.
"I can't make such a promise when I know I would break it at the first possibility of losing you or someone hurting you."
He closed his eyes and said, "Come here..."
I knew he wanted to hug me but I shook my head and instead leaned down to kiss his scar.
I wanted to kiss every scar on his body, even the invisible ones, but it was a line that Kristian was reluctant to cross.
no matter how much I tried.
But I promised myself one day I will break his walls and love him the way I want to