Black Blood

It took two weeks before Novak was able to travel. His recovery was slow and took small steps. His eyes and hair have not changed colour. As if that wasn’t the craziest thing, his blood lust has completely disappeared. He seems to have lost his vampire side. There is no sign of any vampire powers whatsoever. There is little sign of his so-called new magic either, he was too weak for that.

I spent my days in the service of Nalu as I had promised the elf king. I learned much from the woman. I only realised in the last two weeks how little I actually knew about my own magic. I knew that we were created to rebuild the lines of life after the fall of Yin and Yang. What I did not know is how much we are still connected to those two. The nymphs paid a price for our creation. It’s no coincidence that the nymphs never show themselves again. Cursed to the night, Nalu said. They carry black magic that they can only control when the sun has disappeared. She also told me the history of the elves and their role in various wars. I learned things about my father that I did not know. The man has massacred entire nations, burned down villages and stolen magic. The magic he carries is far from what he was born with. He stole magic to increase his own power.

Although talking to Nalu brought me much, she was not happy with my presence. She told me every day how it was better if I left and went into hiding. In a way, I am hiding with the elves, but that is not what she meant. As much as I appreciate her concern, I’m not leaving without Novak.

The elf king is a separate story. The man doesn’t like me and scares the hell out of me. After his story in the hospital, I ran into him a few times in the corridors. Each time, he has a grin on his lips that I do not trust. He doesn’t talk to me, I don’t talk to him. I have not forgotten the flogging and despite everything, I will always blame him. The scars will never disappear.

Besides all this, my bond with Alisha has strengthened enormously. For the past two weeks, I have lived with her and we have had long conversations. I can call her a friend. She is smart and strategic. Something about her reminds me of my mother, she had the same strategic eye. We have spent the last two weeks plotting a route to the Blood Mountain. On horseback it is two days. Alisha has an acquaintance about half way along the route where she has arranged a night’s stay for us. I almost begged her to come along, but she refused, for now. She wants to finish her training as a nurse, but has promised to come and see us afterwards and write to us. Something in me says she is too scared to go, but she has never admitted it.

The last thing that has occupied me for the past two weeks is Rave. Nalu’s words have long echoed in my ears. He is a danger to me and I am an even greater danger to him. I would never forgive myself if he died because of my selfishness. As much as I want to keep him close to me and as bad as it feels to let him go, I made perhaps the hardest choice of my life. Rave gave me my life and now it is time for me to give him his.

‘Are you sure about this?’ asks Novak as I run my hand over Rave’s scales.

‘No,’ I reply, sighing. The dragon’s black eyes don’t look at me understandingly and that’s just as well. I put my foot on the black wing and pull myself up onto Rave’s shoulders. I would ask Novak to come with me, but this is not his story to finish, it is mine. I look around me one last time and grip Rave tightly.

‘Removere.’ With that sign, Rave spreads his wings and sets himself down from the ground. We shoot into the air, out of the forest and into the clouds. My hair and dress fly through the wind. The familiar feeling of freedom courses through my veins, the feeling I have not known since my mother died. That feeling that you can be away from all the misery and woes. The escape to a life without blood, violence and escape. That feeling that I always seemed to miss and will miss forever.

Rave gave me my freedom, my first friends, my magic and my life. Without him I would not be here, without him I would be lying in a grave next to Nora. I am grateful to this animal for my life and am forever in his debt. I have long wondered why he brought me to the vampires and now I have my answer, Novak. Rave knew far before me that I have a connection to Novak and for that knowledge too I am eternally grateful to the dragon.

I will miss the wind, the clouds, the view and most of all, the only creature in my life that seems to understand me. Rave is a part of what I am and the realisation that I have to let him go will never be less heavy. I feel like a bird whose wings are being clipped. Doomed to the ground and an eternal loss that will never return. Scars that will never heal. I will never get this kind of freedom back.

I look over the long green plains while a tear finds its way down my cheek. I realise that this is my last flight. The last time I will feel this wind and the last time I will see this view. It feels like I am cutting off a piece of myself and the wounds will never heal.

I don’t know exactly how long I am flying over the plains, but it will never be long enough. The sun begins to disappear behind the horizon and that is my signal to put an end to it. As tears roll down my cheeks like waterfalls, I lead Rave back to the elven village. He reduces his speed and slowly sinks back to the ground. His paws find the earth and his wings cover the grass. I bend forward until my face covers Rave’s neck a little.

‘Gratias’, I whisper to the scales. I lie there for an indeterminate amount of time before taking my head from the dragon’s neck and looking around. Novak is sitting under a tree some distance away. He has a cigarette in his mouth and looks at me compassionately with his red eyes. He doesn’t say anything, he just looks. It is his way of telling me he is there for me without interfering in my business.

With the deepest pain in my heart I have ever felt, I stand up and slowly let myself slip away from Rave. I feel like a mother who has to let go of her child, not knowing if she will ever see her child again. Is a mother without a child still a mother? Is a Night Rider without Nazu still a Night Rider? It is the question that has been running through my head for days and the answer is no. I am not only giving up my best friend, but also my title. The magic remains, but it will never be the same.

I slowly remove the saddle and the reins from Rave’s body. I place my hand on Rave’s neck for the last time, press a kiss against the scales and lean forward.

‘Vacat vobis, liberum.’ The black beady eyes look at me in doubt for a moment. I nod my head while wiping a tear from my cheek. He takes a step back, gives me a last touch with his nose and then spreads his wings.

‘Es securus,’ is the last thing I say before he spreads his wings and disappears among the clouds. The tears keep coming as if I would never be able to stop. Slowly I turn towards Novak who appears to be standing behind me. Without saying a word, he grabs me and pulls me into an embrace. This is the end of me and the beginning of us.