Black Blood

Novak looks much better than before. His face has more colour, his eyes are bright and above all his mood has improved a lot. It took me a while to regain my energy. I have no sense of time, but I think we sat in the grass for half an hour before my legs no longer felt like porridge. Novak thought it would be a good idea to walk on a bit more.

The moon is the only thing that illuminates the forest. Hundreds of stars illuminate the dark evening. With the disappearance of the sun, the cold has set in. My bare feet in the cold grass gives me goose bumps. The lack of food and water does not help either. There is a wealth of berries in this forest but Novak forbids me to eat them. The berries grow all year round, but only a month of them are not poisonous.

I am taken out of my thoughts by Novak who starts coughing for the umpteenth time. He doesn’t know why, but since the biting incident, he keeps coughing. It also seems to be getting worse and worse. I am starting to get a bit worried, although Novak keeps telling me that it is not that bad. As soon as he has another coughing attack and stops walking I start to get really worried.

‘Are you all right?’ I ask as I come to stand beside him. I put my hand on his shoulder. One hand is over his mouth, the other on his chest. The attack is worse than the previous few. The coughing seems to come from his toes. The sound echoes through the forest. His breath is wheezing. I hope he will stop at any moment, but he does not. He collapses further, coughing harder and harder.

‘Calm down. Breathe,’ I try. His chest heaves violently up and down. I don’t know what to do. Distraught, I stand beside him.

‘I...I-I... don’t... No...’ he says with difficulty. He reaches for his throat with the hand that was on his chest. He sinks through his legs, lands in the grass. My heartbeat increases, panic sets in. I sit down next to him in the grass. The coughing starts to turn into a gasping, gagging sound. I grab his cheeks, forcing him to look at me.

‘Okay, breathe with me. In through your nose, out through your mouth,’ I try to say as calmly as possible. For the first time since I have known him, I see fear in his blue eyes. I try to stay as calm as possible. If I lose my calm here, it will only make the situation worse. I take a deep breath in through my nose as I continue to stare Novak down.

For a second, it seems to go well. He is silent for a moment and breathes in with me. However, that glimmer of light is short-lived. He starts coughing even harder than before. He closes his eyes. The sound that leaves his mouth is similar to the sound that the choking man made.

As soon as he takes his hand away from his mouth, real panic sets in. There is black blood on his hand and lips. I see Novak’s eyes widen with fear. Then I remember the incident with Nelly. Novak has to get out of here, he needs help.

‘You have to get up, we have to get out of here,’ I say in a panic as I try to get him up by his arm. He gets up coughing, but that too is short-lived. He collapses through his legs. How can I get him out of here? I am too weak to support or carry him. He can’t walk himself. If we don’t get help he will die. I can’t lose him. Not here, not now. The coughing doesn’t seem to stop. I am desperate.

‘Novak, please. Breathe,’ I beg him. I take his hand. It seems the only way to offer him support. At first, he squeezes my hand hard, but his grip weakens. I see his eyes getting blurry, his gaze staring into nothingness. The clear sunny sky gives way to a misty evening.

His grip weakens more and more, the coughing gets less and less loud. There is blood on his lips and it is not from the bite. I gently tap his cheek in an attempt to keep him conscious, but I see him slump before my eyes. A drop of black blood runs from his nostril to his lip.

‘I love you,’ are the last words he utters before his unconscious body comes to rest in my arms. Tears roll down my cheeks like a heavy autumn rain. Motionless, I sit in the grass. I have poisoned Novak. I should have known that my blood is deadly. Nelly told me. It was me who forced him to drink my blood, he refused. I killed Novak.

The only person who ever made me feel safe is now lying unconscious in my arms and I have no idea what I can do. I don’t know what poison is in my blood, or what the antidote is. My knowledge of herbs and medicines has increased, but not nearly to the level where I would know how to make an antidote. This reminds me of something Nora once said to me.

If you don’t know how to do something, learn it until you do.

It was good advice, but not at the moment. I don’t have the time or the opportunity to learn how to make an antidote. This thought makes me even more desperate, even harder to cry. Then suddenly I hear my father’s words echoing through my head.

Wipe those tears from your cheeks, they make you weak. Sitting around crying doesn’t solve anything. Tackle the things that make you cry.

He said that to me when I was five. I was crying because my grandmother had died. At the time I was angry with him when he said this. It is his life motto and I never understood it until this point.

I am crying because Novak is lying unconscious in my arms. I am crying because I do not know what to do and I feel that I cannot do anything. Crying will not help me find an antidote, nor will it help Novak. I have to get up and do something, otherwise nothing will happen.

With these thoughts in mind, I put my index and middle finger to my lips. A loud whistling sound echoes through the woods. Meanwhile, I gently push Novak’s head away from my legs. I stand up, wipe my tears from my cheeks and straighten my dress.

I get up, wipe my tears from my cheeks and pull my dress straight.