Black Blood

I look at Novak, startled for a moment. His blue eyes have a look of expectation, nothing more, nothing less. His hand lies still on the inside of my thigh.

A man, or rather, Christiaan, has never asked this of me. I would never have answered yes if it were him.

Now that the situation and now that the person is completely different, I begin to reconsider my answer.

I never thought I would say that I would like to be touched there and I never understood why anyone would like that. I never had the desire to be touched there, until now.

My body is warm, my belly feels warm, and something inside me is crying out to be touched. My head seems to be completely taken over by a haze. The fear I have has faded into the background. It has given way to a desire that I can no longer deny.

I nod in response to Novak’s question. I see a flurry of surprise shoot through his eyes before a smile graces his lips.

‘Say it,’ he urges. Surprised, I look at him. My cheeks grow warm with embarrassment. I shake my head.

‘Say it, or I won’t do anything,’ he gives me the choice. Have I sunk so low that I’m going to put all my shame aside to be touched by a boy I’ve known for a few weeks? I think so.

‘Yes,’ I say in a whisper. Novak bends his head more towards mine.

‘Yes, what?’ he asks at such a distance that his lips slide over mine. My breath falters.

I hate Novak right now. He’s trying to pull me out of my comfort zone, and he’s succeeding.

‘Yes... You can...touch...me...touch me.’ I can barely get the words out of my mouth. My cheeks glow with shame, and I dare not look Novak in the eye. He grabs my chin gently, forcing me to look into his eyes.

'Tell me what you like and don’t like. If you change your mind, you can always stop me. It’s all about you.' Although I know Novak wouldn’t do anything to me that I didn’t want to do, it’s nice to hear him say it.

In reply, I press my lips to his. He immediately joins in the kiss. I cannot deny the nerves, but neither can I deny the excitement.

The beginning of the kiss is quiet. His hand remains still in its place.

As the kiss intensifies, and the nerves begin to leave my body, Novak slides his hand further up. My breath falters, my heartbeat quickens. His hand slips between my legs. His fingers run down the sides of my pants, along the skin of my inner thigh.

I grab his hair during the kiss. My attention has shifted to his hand, causing me to lose focus. It is the most uncontrolled kiss I have ever had.

Automatically, I slide my legs further apart. My body starts to get warmer and warmer. A few times, Novak lets his fingers slide along the side and top of my pants. My hips respond of their own accord, moving with his touch.

During the uncontrolled kissing, I feel Novak grinning. As soon as he slides his fingers from top to bottom over the fabric, I gasp.

The touch is so soft, so tender. He pulls his lips back from mine. I keep my eyes closed and lay my head on the pillow. My fingers are entwined in his hair. His fingers go under the fabric of my pants from the side.

A surge of panic runs through me, but is obscured by Novak pressing his lips against my neck. Very slowly, his fingers move over my skin. I appreciate his calm and pace.

A few times, his fingers slide teasingly over my most intimate spot until he hooks his fingers behind the top of my pants and pushes them down. I help him by pulling up my legs a little. He throws the piece of cloth somewhere in the room.

Our eyes meet. For a moment, he seems to be looking for my approval. I smile. That signal is enough for him to connect our lips again.

His hand slides down my stomach and between my legs. Again, my breath falters. An enormous urge to be touched, one I do not recognise, has taken over my body. My hands disappear into his hair again. I squeeze the soft blonde locks.

Before I can think about it, his fingers slide over the most intimate part of my body. There is no pressure behind his touch. It is soft and gentle. I want him to go further. I want more. I need more.

As if he can read my thoughts, one of his fingers slides deeper between my intimate parts. It feels strange, different. When Christian did this, it was always hard and rough. Now when Novak does it, it’s soft and... wet? I’m so busy comparing the feeling that I’ve unconsciously stopped kissing him back.

‘Are you alright? Do you want me to stop?’ asks Novak. I immediately shake my head. It surprises me how calm Novak is.

‘It’s just... different,’ I admit. A small smile disappears from his mouth.

‘Good or bad?’ he asks.

‘Good,’ I reply. He continues to look at me while his fingers slide from top to bottom several times. A strange but pleasant feeling shoots down my spine to my legs. I gasp. His fingers stop at the top and start making circles.

‘Ooh...’, leaves my mouth before I know it.

Novak has a grin on his lips. He continues to make small circles and increases his pace a little. I grab his other arm with one hand. Why does this feel...good? A feeling I cannot describe slips through my stomach. It makes my breathing quicken, my heart beat faster and my eyes close. It makes me crave for more. Everything around me seems a blur, even my thoughts.

His fingers put more pressure on my skin. I slide my legs further apart, instinctively craving more. Before I realise it, several soft sounds leave my lips. My breathing is hurried and I seem to gasp every so often.

Strangely enough, they are sounds of pleasure, sounds I have never made before. The feeling in my stomach seems to be building, the pleasure increasing.

‘Don’t be alarmed.’ I startle a little from the haze I was in at Novak’s sudden voice. It takes a few seconds before I realise that he has stopped moving his fingers.

Despite the warning, I am still a little startled as soon as I feel his finger at my entrance. At first I want to grab his hand and stop him. Before I can do anything, Novak easily slides a finger inside me.

When Christian did this, it was always stiff and it hurt. As soon as Novak starts moving his finger slowly in and out of me I expect pain at any moment, but it doesn’t come. It feels new, nice and new. It feels nice and makes me crave for more.

My eyes automatically close again. Soon he adds a second finger. I suddenly grab Novak’s arm, arch my back and let out a soft moan as soon as he curls his fingers. He repeats the movement several times so I can’t keep a sound down.

‘You like that?’ Novak whispers in my ear in a husky tone. A pleasant shiver goes down my spine.

‘J...eeee...s,’ I get released. Novak puts his lips to my neck, making a path of kisses. At certain points he even begins to suck gently. My whole body tingles. My head is empty. I think of nothing but Novak’s touch.

At a fast pace, the feeling that was building in my lower abdomen intensifies. It is a feeling I do not know. Somehow it is scary, but I cannot make myself stop him.

I want to open my eyes in disappointment as soon as Novak’s fingers leave my insides, but soon they find again the place where they started. His fingering picks up speed. My legs start to move uncontrollably.

The feeling in my lower abdomen continues to build to the point that I don’t seem to be able to hold it in anymore. It feels so good. I never expected to enjoy anything sexual.

Now I am lying here, moaning and panting, under Novak. Normally, I would be horrified by all the noises I make, but right now I don’t care.

As soon as I feel that I can’t stand the feeling in my hiding place anymore, my legs start to tremble, I arch my back and grab Novak’s arm hard.

An indescribable feeling goes through my whole body. A harder moan leaves my lips. It is a feeling I have never felt before. I don’t know exactly what is happening to me, but I am sure it may happen more often. My body continues to jerk until the feeling slowly begins to subside.

What remains is a feeling of relaxation that I have never felt before. All my muscles are heavy. Novak’s fingers leave my body. He wraps his arm around me and pulls me against his chest. Exhausted, I wrap my arms around his upper body and lay my head on his chest. It takes a while for my breathing to return to normal.

‘How did you like that?’ Novak asks softly. His hand slides over my back. I lift my head to look at him. His blue eyes look at me sweetly. There is a smile on his lips.

‘Different,’ I reply. He starts laughing and shakes his head. I laugh along with him.

‘I suppose, good different,’ he says and bends forward. He plants a soft kiss on my lips. I want to confirm his assumption, but he beats me to it.

‘Was that your first ever orgasm?’ he asks with his lips a few millimetres away from mine.

I look at him uncomprehendingly at the term “orgasm”. His hand slides to my neck. Gently, he squeezes his way down. I lean my forehead against his.

‘That feeling that shoots from your lower abdomen through your entire body, the loss of complete control, your muscles starting to move beyond your will until they fall completely relaxed into the mattress. The feeling you become addicted to.’ Tingles run through my stomach at his whispered words. I lean forward to press my lips to his. He hangs back a little. His hand slides over my back towards my bottom.

‘The feeling that you don’t want to stop, that shoots through your toes to your head as if a fire has been awakened in you, that feeling...’ I can’t take Novak’s rattling anymore and press my lips to his. Grinning against my lips, he wraps his arms around my body.