Behind The Alpha Series Book 3 NALA

NALA

I look around the table to the several blinking eyes. The Lunas dry their eyes and the Alphas shift in their seats.

“The rest you know.” I say as I pick at the label on my beer bottle.

Ricky throws her arm on the table. “Nala. You were supposed to tell us your story. Not a 19th century cowboy.”

The table all mumbles.

The corner of my lip ticks up as I undo the strap on my wrap dress.

“Whoa, Nala. What are you doing?” Wes puts his hands up.

Thea pushes his hand down. “Wes, it’s fine. Go ahead, Jesse.” She smiles.

I nod and I melt to my original form.

“WHOA!” Collective words of shock come from the friends all around the table.

“Howdy.” I smirk.

Luke leans forward. “You’re a dude. You’re a dude?!”

I look down then look up. “Yep. Born ‘n raised.”

He leans back in his chair and his brows go up. “I have so many questions.”

“No one wants to hear your questions, Luke.” River says crossing his arms.

“I do.” Grey puts up his hand. “I have tons too.”

I put out my hands to the side. “Ask away.”

“Ok.” Luke claps and rubs his hands together. “First. How do those stomach things work. Like I’ve seen them in movies and they’re like a fucking prison. How you guys even get them off?”

“Luke!”

The table groans.

I laugh. “Corsets.” I nod. “A good man…knows where to pull.” I lean forward and wink.

He presses his lips together and nods. “Interesting.”

“Shut up!” Jayson shoves him and growls.

River leans forward. “So you had this woman and you think you were mates and you shot yourself?”

I take a swig of beer. “Yes, sir, I did.”

“That’s so sad.” Sarah chokes.

“Awe, baby. Come here.” Jayson hugs her.

“It was for the best, little lady. Don’t cry. I’m OK with it.” I smile.

Luke had to jump in again. “So you were born a dude and now live as Nala.”

“Yep.” I confirm.

“Why? Chick’s dig cowboys.” He chugs his beer.

“Artemis mostly.” I glance at Thea. “I needed a place to hide. What better place than at a kings house.” I turn to Zander and give a quick smirk.

“Hold up.” Grey leans to Zander. “A few books back you said you and Nala…”

The corner of Zanders lip ticks up. “I did.” He nods.

Grey turns to me. “Did you tell him who you were?”

“Nope.” I shake my head.

“Did you know she was an outlaw from 1895?” Grey points to Zander.

Zander shrugs. “I had my suspicions. Nala’s mind isn’t exactly quiet when she forgets to block me.” He grins, bounces his brow and tips his bottle.

Ricky leans back while facing him. “Who even are you?”

He grins. “I’m just a king, baby.” He leans in and kisses her lips as she looks at him he’s a stranger to her.

I snort and the table chuckles.

Ricky shakes her head. “Ok. Arrogance aside. Penelope. Did you ever find her again?”

I put my bottle down and roll it in my palms. “Once. About 80 years back.”

“What did she say?” Wren asked.

I shake my head. “Not a damn thing. Never spoke to her. She got that ranch out in Missouri…” I pause as I relive the memory. “She married a fine man. An honest man. She had a boy. Looks just like his daddy.” Again I reflect. I cough and adjust in my seat. “She…um…She was happy. I didn’t wanna git in the way of that.”

“So you never spoke to her at all?” Sammy says from Bastian’s lap.

“No, ma'am, I did not. I stopped at her grave once. She lived to be 120. She had a better life than I could give her and I accept that.” I glance around the table as I try not to reopen old wounds.

“I’m sure she loved being with you.” Eve says as she hugs Williams arm.

“I’m certainly sure she did…it just…wasn’t in the cards.” I flick my eyes between the two.

“Do you regret it?” Jayson asks solemnly.

I give a half smile. “Every damn day.” I scratch my temple. “But if I stayed, things would have been different. You wouldn’t have been able to imprison Eternity and Lefu would have been risen earlier. I’m here now to tell you, Artemis will not put my mother back in one piece. He’ll use that power to make himself stronger and join Death if he hasn’t already.” I turn the Thea. “That’s how I know what daddy says won’t work.”

“He won’t get my power, Jesse.” She places a hand on my shoulder.

“Just protect that tree, Sweet Pea.” I lean to Wes. “You protect her with your life.”

“I will.” Wes holds out a hand and I grab it.

Bastian hugs Sammy. “The cross. You had it and lost it?”

I nod yep.

“Was there anything with it? Instructions or anything to say how we can put Lefu back.” He asks.

“No, sir. Just the cross. It came from the Vatican. Maybe they got somethin’.” I suggest.

Bastian looks to Zander. “Worth a shot.”

“I’ll make some calls tomorrow.” Zander says.

Anna leans on River. “Did you ever find love again?” She lays her head on River’s shoulder.

I smile and breathe deep. “No. Never sought the need. Penelope’s love kept me goin'. My hearts full of her. I can’t imagine another takin’ her place really.”

“Well, I can tell you from experience. The person who loved you will never disappear and you can never replace them, but there’s always room for another.” She smiles.

“Damn right, baby girl.” River kisses her temple.

“Yeah. Maybe. It would be nice, I’ll tell ya that. Being alone for so long. It…does things to ya.” I drift to my times laying with Penelope in bed. Wishing for her warmth.

I shift back to Nala and do up my wrap. “I…I thank you for listening, I think I need some air. I’ll take my leave.”

“Ok, Nala.” Zander slightly bows.

I walk out of the bar and stand just off the porch. I hold myself and look up at the moon. “I hope now you can give me the peace I need.” I whisper.

I look down and walk slowly out to the lot. The music from the bar gets quieter.

My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of feathers flapping and feet landing on the pavement. I raise my head.

“You shouldn’t be here.” I say to the road in front of me.

“I heard you talking about her.” The young voice says to my back.

“It was time.” I say.

“It was healthy. Holding her inside isn’t.” He says.

I spin around to the light brown haired man in a t-shirt and jeans. His blue eyes stare at me.

“Why are you here, Nathaniel?” I ask.

“Father…I’ve come to see you. See how you are?” He steps to me. My face in his pains me deep.

“You should leave. Nephilim’s aren’t safe when exposed. You know this.” I warn.

“I know. I just. You’re all I have now.” He looks me over.

“Nathaniel. I cannot be the father you want. I wouldn’t know the first thing.” I say quietly.

“So you just abandon me now just like my birth.” I can see his heart break.

“I know you want me to fill your heart. She did too. I come from a world of evil. Your world is heaven.”

“They don’t want me. Mothers gone. Please, father. I want you to want me.” His face pains and I could consider his request if I wasn’t so scared for him. Him being around me is too dangerous. He would surely be caught.

But looking into his eyes. I’ve seen that look many times in the mirror. Like him, all I ever wanted was someone to want me. It’s just, every time it looked like it would happen, it was ripped away from me.

He steps even closer. “I’m an angel without love, father. It kills me everyday that I have to view you from a distance. Please, let me in.”

I gaze into his eyes. My son. The last living piece I have of Penelope. I’ve turned him away so many times. Do I really want to turn into my father. Now, that I’ve released the burden of my past, can I change my future by not repeating it?

I reach up and grab his head. I pull him into my neck. He wraps his arms around me and hugs me tight. I smile as I hug my son. “I’m sorry.” I whisper.

He buries his head more. “Thank you.” He says with a shaky voice.

I push him back. “You will still have to hide until it’s safe. Seek the one named Caliel. He will protect you.”

He nods and wipes his eyes.

“Come to me in two days time. We will…do lunch…as Ricky says.” I smile and he softly chuckles.

“I also have to warn you. The library. It’s been lost.” He leans his eyes forward to me.

“Lost? How? Why?” I search his eyes.

“That’s a question for the Sorcerers High Council.” He informs.

“The blade.”

“Still inside, but lost with it.” He says.

My eyes search nothing. “This may be a good thing. If my father can’t find the blade then he can’t receive the power within it. Thank you for bringing this to me.

He steps back. “You’re welcome. I’ll see you in two days.”

“Two days.” I nod.

Again, the lot fills with sound of wings unfurling and the wind rushes from the push off as Nathaniel flies into the dark sky. His black wings barely visible.

“Goodbye…My son." I watch him disappear into the clouds and hold myself again. A smile grows as I walk back into the bar.

As I walk back to the table, a man joins my side. He’s very handsome and looks familiar with short black hair, striking features and deep brown eyes. He has a very nice smile and smells of pines. It’s a sweet, almost calming scent.

He puts his hand up in a show of peace. “Hi, I’m…I’m Curtis. Curtis Miles. Lucius' Beta. You’re Nala right?”

“Yes.” I say as I fold my arms.

“I hope I’m not being too forward…I saw you shift at the table back there and I just had to say hi.” He gazes into my eyes and a shy smile grows on his lips.

I arch a brow and look him over to try and read him. “Well, you said it.”

I turn to leave and he stops me. “Wait…” I turn back to him. He shuffles his feet a bit. “I just…You’re very handsome and attractive. I would love to get to know you. I’d really like to buy you a beer…if…that’s OK.” His eyes float around my face. “One beer. You don’t like me, you can walk.”

There was something in his eye that told me his request was sincere. I also didn’t ignore the fact that he is also very attractive. “Yes…I…” I turn to the table where I told my story. The ghost of my love floats around my head. I turn back to Curtis. A small smile spreads. “I would like that.”

He steps to my side, puts a hand on the small of my back and motions me to the bar. “Right this way.” He says softly.

“Thank you.” I slightly nod and walk with him. He orders drinks and we walk back to the table.

“Curtis?” Lucius questions. He looks at me and back to his Beta.

“Lucius.” Curtis smiles as he glances at me and tips his beer back.

I almost feel flushed at his attraction to me. Not just Nala. To me. Jesse. I haven’t felt that since…

“One thing, Nala.” Zander says. “I’ve seen everything on this planet. One thing I’ve never seen is an angel or a demon. You’re telling me they’re real?”

I nod. “There were two. One angel, one demon. Many years ago. They fought and it was such a tough battle, they killed each other. Now they’re no more.”

“But there’s more.” He asks. “And are they a threat?”

“I imagine there are, but they try not to get in the business of humans. Caliel was given information that he had to give me. It’s the only reason he left his charge.” I say in my monotone voice.

“Can you recognize one if you saw them?” Bastian asks.

I nod. “Possibly.”

He was about to say something else when a light brown haired, rather upset man, slams his bottle down on the other side of Wes.

Jayson raises his brow. “Cass? Is there a problem?”

Cass points to him. “Don’t fucking say it.”

Jayson tries to fight a smile as Luke leans on Jayson’s arm. “Struck out, didn’t ya?” Luke tries to hide his giggle.

“Yes. I don’t get it? I’m a nice guy. I’m nice to be around. I’m grounded. I’m emotionally stable. I’m clean, organized. Excellent mate material. All I want is someone to share my life with. Do these girls want that? Apparently not.”

“Not on the first date, dumbass.” Jayson scoffs.

“Of course, not on the first date.” He narrows his eyes.

“Then quit fucking love bombing them man.” Luke chuckles.

“I don’t love bomb.” He scowls.

Jayson leans forward. “Cass, you tattooed your Exs name on your stomach.”

“Yeah so?” He eyes the table.

Luke throws his arm out. “You knew her for three weeks! Then she smashed your ass to Friendsville while screwing Oliver!”

Cass scowls darkly. “Fucking asshole.” He growls. He puts his hand up. “OK, I thought we had a real connection. Don’t blame me. I told her what I wanted. She…just couldn’t handle it.” He points to his chest.

“No. You literally held her head down while you drowned her in affection and called it being Mr. Nice Guy. They hate that!” Jayson says.

“Anyway. All I was doing was just talking. I told her what I saw for the future…She asks for a beer and I went and got it. When I came back, she’s leaving with that dude!” He snatches his beer and chugs it back. We all turn to a blonde woman talking with a tall man with black hair.

Luke shakes his head. “Girls don’t want that, man.”

“What?” Cass asks.

Wes nods. “Trust me, man. Girls hate that shit.”

“You’re telling me they don’t want a home, life and commitment?” He turns to Wes and crosses his arms

I raise my beer. “Partner. The ladies…love the bad guy who couldn't care less. Trust me.”

“Ok. Jesse’s voice coming out of Nala is now more creepy than double mint talking at the same time.

“Shut up, dick!” Grey and Wes say in unison.

Luke cringes.

Jayson shakes his. “Just stop with the please be my mate stuff. You sound desperate.”

He throws his hands up. “I am!”

“Cass, grow some balls, alright. Just have fun. Hook up. Do the things I used to do.” Luke grins.

“I don’t like prison.” Cass points to Luke.

“It was only five times in city lock up and they were 24 hour holdings. Literally nothing. Just pick better spots to get laid and the Enforcers won’t catch you doing it.” Luke smirks.

Cass leans on the table. “I don’t know. I’m just sick of this constant rejection. Why is this so hard?”

“Couldn’t be that you’re a fucking whiner, would it?” Luke says as he arches a brow.

“You’re trying to hard, Cass.” River says.

I look him over. “You can’t look for the one, Cass. You can only occupy yourself until she shows up. Love isn’t something you can force.”

“So, what I’m hearing is…just be a fuck boy like you guys, until my fated comes?” Cass scratches his temple.

The table chokes on their beers and Luke points to Cass. “Abso-fucking-lutely! Just party. Get all the kicks you can. When she shows up, you’ll know because all hell will break loose.”

The smack of leather has Luke cringing back. “OW! Babe?”

Alexi points in his face. “Watch it!”

Luke points at Alexi and looks at Cass. “See. Hell in heels.” He turns to her and smiles. “And I love every fucking minute.” He grabs her and kisses her hard.

“I don’t know if I can do that. I’m not a dick.” Cass drinks his beer.

“Dude, a love bomber is a dick. Just saying.” Jayson says.

Cass thinks it over. “Yeah. I guess I see your point. Thanks. Jay, I’m calling it a night. See ya tomorrow.”

“Ok, buddy. Don’t stress over it. The right girl will smack you across the face soon. I feel it.” Jayson smiles.

Cass leaves and I’m left thinking that it is true. You can push, date and search all you want, but when that right person shows up, you never expect it. It’s like they weren’t there, but there the whole time and even if you have to leave because it’s not the right time, it still was for a good reason.

Penelope gave me hope. Hope for myself. Hope for my future. She did save me. She showed me that I was a sorry sack of meat, but I didn’t have to be. It took 127 years, but I realize this now. I could’ve change my thinking a million times over. It took a sweet, gentle preachers daughter to show me I’m worth more than my opinions of myself. I could be more, I just had to want to be. I couldn’t let my mother or father drag me down anymore and she showed me that there are more things in life to enjoy.

She also taught me one other thing. Even in the pitch dark. The blackest hell. Love will keep you safe and will always be there even when the old is lost and a new one comes to buy you a drink.

“Ok. Rating time.” Luke rubs his hands together. “Now. You snapped while falling to your death. I’ll have to give you points for that. That was heavy shit.”

Bastian crossed his arms. “He did pawn the cross.” He arches a brow.

“That wasn’t my problem at the time. I had no idea what it was.” I sit back as Curtis puts his arm on the back of my chair.

“A demon tells you to get it and you got no bad juju off that at all.” River motions a hand to me.

I lean forward. “I was the bad juju. So no.”

“Ok. You’re still losing points.” Luke says. “Stopping your dad from taking over the world by breaking your fate bond, I believe deserves a special honor or something.”

“Yeah. Like a purple heart.” Grey throws a hand out.

Zander looks at Nala. “For acts of bravery and huge sacrifice I give you…my 10.” He bows his head slowly.

“You never had it! I’m the Mate Story Captain!” Luke scowls and points to his chest.

“I have a special, extra dank, dark hole for you, in a swamp, behind my castle.” Zander scowls back.

“Ok, fine.” Luke leans back as the table chuckles.

I bow to Zander. “Thank you.”

“Who wants another round?!” Luke shouts.

All the Alphas chime in with agreements.

I feel at peace now and hope for the future.

I may not of liked Fates plan, but she was right. I had to walk this path to find myself. That moment in time was the start of that path and I would walk it again, if it meant I could see her, but I can’t hang on to that. It’s time I moved on.

It's time my beautiful ghost left me in peace.